


How It's Supposed To Be

by QuietDarkness



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Action, Adventure, Angst, BAMF Harry, Blood and Injury, Cisco Ramon is a lovable nerd, Fluff, Humor, I'm terrible at tagging, M/M, One Shot Collection, Sarcasm, Science, Sexual Content, Story Arc, Violence, collection, harrisco, mentions of abuse, repost, this is my baby, turns into a longer story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:48:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 106,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26839987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuietDarkness/pseuds/QuietDarkness
Summary: From the first wild moments that started their epic relationship and beyond, this is the complete collection of Harrisco stories by QuietDarkness, newly edited and put together as chapters.(You may remember the collection - Simplicity and Complexity.)An original continuous story with progressive adventures, new villains, new heroes, and of course plenty of Harrisco awesomeness. Romance, action, science, horror, humor, adventure, original characters and more, this collection -now complete story- has it all.
Relationships: Cisco Ramon/Earth-2 Harrison "Harry" Wells
Comments: 9
Kudos: 18





	1. How It's Supposed To Be

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RenRen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RenRen/gifts), [PirateLawrence](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PirateLawrence/gifts), [BonfireSmoke](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BonfireSmoke/gifts), [stars_n_space](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stars_n_space/gifts), [Steph_1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steph_1/gifts), [junosbox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/junosbox/gifts), [Anon8091](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anon8091/gifts), [MarinaK](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarinaK/gifts), [Ladyrixx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyrixx/gifts), [AlecWrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlecWrites/gifts), [Strawberries_and_Stars](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strawberries_and_Stars/gifts), [EmmaJefferson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmaJefferson/gifts), [PolygamousSquamous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PolygamousSquamous/gifts), [RedelliaValentinos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedelliaValentinos/gifts), [TheCowboyArtHistorian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCowboyArtHistorian/gifts), [And_The_Words_Bring_Me_Home](https://archiveofourown.org/users/And_The_Words_Bring_Me_Home/gifts), [BonitaBreezy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BonitaBreezy/gifts), [sand_shoes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sand_shoes/gifts), [AStarlitSunflower](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AStarlitSunflower/gifts), [Prettyflyforajedi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prettyflyforajedi/gifts), [PaperKatla](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaperKatla/gifts), [SageScribbles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SageScribbles/gifts), [Phantom_of_the_library](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantom_of_the_library/gifts), [angelfireeast](https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelfireeast/gifts), [Jerk_bitch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jerk_bitch/gifts), [obaewankenope (rexthranduil)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rexthranduil/gifts), [harrisonwells](https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrisonwells/gifts), [VelvetMace](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VelvetMace/gifts).



> ((If you've already read each piece, bit by bit, now is the chance to read it as a whole! If you haven't read any of these before, what are you waiting for? (Seriously, though... please read. I love my readers. Soooo much. So, _so_ much. -pets all the readers repeatedly-) I’ve gifted this collection to all the readers I know have commented or followed since the very first fic. If you have followed from the start, and you want it gifted to you as well, let me know! Thank you, all of you, for your support and for reading! I ADORE YOU! -QD))

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cisco isn't supposed to secretly adore Harry's temper tantrums. He isn't supposed to look forward to bickering with Harry on a daily basis. He isn't supposed to fall in love with Harry... right? A fateful encounter in the lab might just prove him wrong.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

He was supposed to keep hating Harry's childish temper tantrums instead of getting used to them, as though they were no big deal. He was supposed to find bickering with Harry a pain, not something to look forward to. He was supposed to think Harry got more annoying every day, not more... god, what even _was_ he?

Currently, he was sitting on a metal stool, helping Cisco tweak the sensors on his goggles. His glasses were on, strong hands working easily with tiny tools. His lips, which had become an unfortunate piece of fascination for Ramon, were set in a straight line, the fine creases on Harry's face relaxed like they always were when he was busy with something technical. Cisco had pretty much memorized those lines by now. Along with every unruly strand of the older man's hair, the fine muscles in his forearms as he worked, the smell of his aftershave when they sat side by side like this, the warmth that-

“You're staring.” Harry said flatly, setting the tool down without looking at him, “Again.” He added in slight annoyance, turning the goggles to the side to pull the seal off, giving him access to the ridiculously tiny network of wires inside. Cisco nearly jumped out of his skin, blinking, smiling sheepishly.

“I wasn't... I... ya know...” He stammered, because smooth, Ramon. Harry cast him a sideways glance, reaching up and pulling his glasses off as he did, his damn bluer than blue eyes stared at Cisco in that ridiculously frustrating and delicious way of his that made Ramon feel like he was being chastised and drowned at the same time. “I was just paying attention.” He finally got out. Totally convincing. Harry raised a single brow.

“Apparently to my face.” Ugh, dammit. That tone, that slight rasp to his voice, Cisco hated it. And loved it. He frowned, though, watching Harry turn completely, setting his glasses down on the table. And suddenly, he felt too close, too real. Fantasizing about the man was one thing. But suddenly wanting to close the distance and feel what it was like to kiss Harrison Wells was a whole other thing. A really not good thing... right? Ramon swallowed, feeling all the color flee out of his skin. He went to push up from his seat, to stand and put distance between them because yikes. But instead, his foot caught in the run of the stool and he was suddenly on the ground, the clattering stool making the empty room seem far too big. And the suddenly standing and hovering Harry far too tall.

Harry had moved much quicker than Cisco had realized. Crouching at his side so fast that Ramon had to blink a few times to make sure he wasn't hallucinating it. “Um... ouch.” He muttered, reaching behind and rubbing the back of his head as Harry helped him sit up. The feel of his hand on Cisco's shoulder, and one on his knee, made him blush. He was sure of it. He could feel the heat just travel to his face. But Harry, who had the grace to look slightly worried, didn't seem to notice.

“What's going on with you?” He demanded, gripping Cisco's hand and hoisting him easily up to his feet. It was easy to forget sometimes just how strong Harry was, that the older man kept fit, and could probably give any non-speedster a run for their money in a race. It was also easy to remember, when being pulled off the ground like that.

“Nothing.” Cisco scoffed, pulling his hand back and wincing before bending over and straightening the stool. “Don't know why you'd think something was goi-” And he nearly face planted right into Harry's chest as he turned around. Somehow, without making a sound, Harry had gotten right up into Cisco's space. Ramon felt his heart do about forty thousand somersaults. “Jesus, Harry... crowd much?” He groused, but inwardly he wanted to close that distance that much more. To reach out and touch what he knew was probably a very warm and firm chest. Harry narrowed his gaze on Cisco, taking another step forward, giving Ramon no choice but to step back... into the table. He was trapped, with a much taller, probably stronger Harry in front of him. What the hell? _No, seriously... what the hell..._

“I don't think it's nothing, Ramon.” He began, “In fact, I think I know exactly what it is.” He took another step, until there was barely a foot between them. Cisco couldn't tear his eyes away from Harry's, his palms began to feel sweaty, and damn if he didn't read something completely unexpected in the way Harry was staring him down. Like he wanted something... something Ramon didn't think was possible. It wasn't, right? Couldn't be. “You've been watching me like that for weeks now, studying me, memorizing my every move.” His eyes began to glide down Cisco's face, down his torso, lower. Ramon caught his breath, bit his lip, swallowed. _Crap._ When Harry's eyes finally came back to Ramon's, he was pretty much hot from head to toe. “You find excuses to be near, to get... close.” And just like that, Harry took a step and practically pressed up against Cisco who had to nearly hop up onto the table, hands gripping either side in an effort to move away. But all it did was give Harry better access.

He moved to hover over Cisco, hands reaching and covering either of his, leaning into him, staring him down with... god, was that hunger? Heat? Cisco let out an exasperated laugh.

“I... have no idea... I mean, this is just...” He rambled. What was he even saying? “You mean you... you're...” He began, trying desperately to make sense of this. Harry just shook his head lightly, letting out an annoyed sigh.

“Just shut up, Ramon.” He ordered, a slight growl escaping his throat. And then he was just there, his mouth on Cisco's. And all rational thought went poof, bye bye, auf wiedersehen. All that time daydreaming about what it would be like to kiss Harry and here he was, kissing him. Finally. Finally? Wait, what? Was this another daydream? Couldn't be. Because he could actually taste him. His lips were delightfully warm, full, searching. And Cisco wanted more. He wanted access. He wanted to taste all there was to taste. He scooted his hands away from his hold, bringing them up to grab the back of Harry's head. And Harry responded perfectly, his hands moving to grip Cisco's ribcage so firmly that it made Ramon's head swim. Just like that, their lips parted. And their tongues collided. Cisco could admit it, Harry's mouth tasted so much better than any daydream.

The strength Cisco knew was in Harry's hands suddenly hoisted him up to sit firmly on the table, Ramon having no choice but to open his legs as Harry moved in between his thighs. It was all so much all at once and Ramon wasn't sure if it should even be happening. Finally, they had to come up for air, nearing suffocating each other in that kiss, Cisco's hands trembling as they gripped tight to Harry's shoulders. “W-why...” he took in a deep breath, blinking heavily at the tall man, “Why didn't you say anything, you dick?” He nearly squeaked, his voice coming out far more heated than he'd meant it to. Harry, damn enticing Harry, simply smirked lightly.

“Same reason you didn't, I imagine.” He felt Harry's hands lower to his hips, his thumbs slipping beneath Ramon's 'Science Is Sexy' t-shirt, slowly smoothing over his skin. It made Ramon's mind momentarily go blank, till he shook his head.

“You're impossible. Seriously. Most of the time I think you can't stand me and it turns out...” he didn't even finish the sentence, just shook his head. Harry's smirk turned into something slightly softer.

“Turns out you mean far more to me than an unwitting colleague.” He said, hands smoothing up more underneath Ramon's shirt, calloused fingers massaging whatever flesh he had to hold on to. Cisco caught his breath. Suddenly, Ramon didn't want a shirt there. He wanted nothing stopping Harry from searching every inch of him with those hands. Harry moved, pressing his lips tentatively near Cisco's ear, “You're... a perfect distraction.” Harry whispered. “And far too good to turn up a chance with.”

“A...” he swallowed, “A chance at what?” Cisco asked, closing his eyes at the feel of Harry's lips on his neck, the slight tug of teeth on his skin sending shivers everywhere shivers could possibly be.

“You're not stupid, Ramon.” Harry growled against his throat, “What do you think?”

Yup. That was it. Any thoughts of stopping this, of turning back or even attempting to rationalize it went completely out the window, down the road, into the ocean, and disappeared into the murky depths. He let out a small sound, surprising himself and blushing as Harry pulled his mouth away, gripping Cisco's shirt quickly, and pulling it up so fast that Ramon didn't even stop him. In fact, he raised his arms, letting Harry pull the shirt all the way off, discarding it on the floor without looking. He fell silent, trembling as Harry took in the sight of Cisco's torso. So much longing, so much lust in that stare. Ramon could feel himself growing harder with every moment that ticked by.

“Shit, Harry. You just gonna look at me all day, or do something worthwhile?” Ramon practically demanded, grabbing Harry by the belt and tugging him in. Harry's smile was possessive before he crashed his mouth against his, making Cisco's head spin in the most delightful way possible. It occurred to him then that had this been any other day, they might just be putting on a show. But Caitlin was at a genetics conference, and Barry was fishing with Joe. They literally had the entirety of S.T.A.R. Labs all to themselves. Though the idea that someone might just walk in and see... well, this... was a little exhilarating.

Ramon had always known that Harry was a take charge, take no shit kind of guy. Despite every reason it shouldn't have been, it was one of the reasons that he found him so stupidly attractive. So it didn't surprise him when Harry pretty much yanked him off the table, turning him and nearly forcing him onto the floor. One moment Cisco was standing, the next he was pinned on the cool floor by a lean, strong body. Their groins ground together almost instantly, and he could feel how hard and ready Harry already was. It made Cisco moan in anticipation. Never in a million years had he thought this would happen. Nor did he think he'd ever go this fast. Because, let's face it, this was moving severely fast. But he wasn't going to let himself care. Honestly, it had been far too long since the last time he'd had sex with anyone. And by the way Harry was acting, it was pretty clear the same could be said for him.

Cisco grabbed Harry's black sweater for dear life, and the shirt beneath it, tugging up in frustration. _Off._ He wanted it off. Hell, he wanted everything off. Harry pushed his hands away, breaking their kiss, getting up on his knees and straddling one of his legs as he pulled his shirts off by himself, giving Cisco the perfect view of lean muscle, a runner's physique, a perfect V-line, a strip of soft black hair that ran from Harry's belly button, to places hidden. Places Cisco wanted to see. And now. He sat up, grabbing Harry's belt and undoing it as quickly as he could. He couldn't believe how urgent he felt, how damn needy Harry had made him in a matter of minutes.

He felt Harry's long fingers glide into his hair, and he turned his eyes up, catching Harry watching him. He realized just then he was in the perfect position, pretty much face to face with the older man's crotch. A rush of adrenaline and anticipation ran through him, and his fingers shook for a moment before he finally undid Harry's pants. He wasted no time, sliding his hands into them and around to Harry's firm and warm rear, gliding the pants down his thighs. Harry had gone commando. Interesting. It brought into view just how hard and ready Harry really was, the shape of him damn near perfect. Had Cisco really done that to him? He cracked a light, knowing smile as he studied the length of the man before him. “Ramon.” Harry's agitated and greedy tone met his ears. “Weren't you the one who didn't want to waste time?” He added, tugging at Cisco's hair so he had to look up again. “If you're going to do something, do it.”

“Pushy bastard.” Cisco said, narrowing his eyes. “Why do I put up with you?” He countered, but before Harry could answer, Cisco grabbed his shaft with one hand, still gripping his ass with the other. And he slid his mouth over the head of him. He was so soft, smooth, delightfully warm. There was the salty-sweet taste of pre-cum on the tip of him, and Cisco let out a sound as it met his taste buds. Harry, however, did more than let out a sound. His eyes closed, his head went back, one hand gripping Cisco's shoulder, the other holding on firmly to his hair like it was a handle. It was easy to find a rhythm, especially with Harry so willing to let him take control for a change. He liked that Harry was pushy, he could admit it. He liked the gruffness, the eagerness. And Cisco was more than willing to put some effort in because of it. He slid Harry in and out of his mouth, as deep as he could go, making sure his dick was as wet as possible, grazing him with teeth and tongue with every swipe. This wasn't his first rodeo, after all. Cisco knew damn well what to do. And it was working, proven by the sway in Harry's hips, the tightening grip on Cisco's shoulder and in his hair. It wasn't till Harry moaned out that he stopped, letting his mouth release with a soft pop.

“Damn, Ramon.” Harry muttered, eyes still momentarily closed as he let him go. Cisco smiled wide, pleased with the fact that he'd just turned Harrison Wells into a teetering mess. When he opened his eyes, he turned a lusting gaze at Ramon, which made Cisco's smile pretty much flee on the spot. He watched as Harry stood up, pushing his boots off, shedding his pants and socks. Then, like before, he was just in Ramon's space, pressing him to the floor.

“Are you always this much of a control freak?” Cisco asked him, his breath heated, fighting the urge to close the distance between their mouths as Harry pressed against him, the only thing keeping their bodies separate now being Cisco's cargo pants. Harry smiled above him, held up by strong arms.

“You're enjoying it. Don't act like you aren't.” He stated, as though he were talking about electromagnetic plating. Cisco didn't have time to protest before Harry was moving down his body. His lips, his tongue were tasting Ramon's flesh, painting lines down his chest, drawing Cisco's nipples in between lips and teeth one at a time, making Ramon hiss and nearly buck at the ridiculous pleasure of it. He couldn't quite hide that he was a sensitive guy. It was one of the reasons why he was such an eager lover. He wanted those sensations because they were like an addictive drug. How he'd gone so long without this was now a complete and utter mystery to him. Harry didn't stop, tasting and searching, teasing and prodding Ramon's body with mouth and hands till he got to Cisco's pants. And without a word, he moved off and undid them, pulling them down along with Ramon's boxer briefs in a brisk, almost rough motion. One at a time, Harry yanked off Cisco's shoes, peeled off his socks, then let his pants and briefs fall to the wayside, instantly forgotten and useless.

For the first time, they were completely nude before each other. And the way that Harry was looking at him made Ramon feel more than a little heated. Hell, he was harder now than he could ever remember being, and nothing had really been done to him yet beyond relentless teasing. He watched Harry's eyes glide over his whole form, taking him in, soaking up the sight of his cock, his legs, his stomach and everywhere and anywhere his eyes could find. “Don't move.” He suddenly ordered, making Ramon blink out of the strange hypnotic blankness watching Harry studying him had put him into. The next thing he knew, Harry was standing, moving out of view into the med lab. When he came back, it was with the pillow from the gurney and a clear bottle with a white label. Harry practically tossed the pillow at Cisco. “Get comfy, Ramon.” He ordered. And Cisco chuckled, pulling the pillow away from his chest, when he saw what the bottle in Harry's hand was.

“Medical lube?” He stated, then laughed a little more. “You're something special.” He quipped sarcastically, watching Harry kneel before him.

“Make do with what one has, Ramon.” He stated, popping the cap. “Now would be the time to stop, by the way.” He didn't move, staring Cisco down. Was he really giving him an out? After all this? Was he really just saying, _'Hey, we don't have to do anymore! Sorry I made you hard as a fucking rock!'_ Cisco glared at him. Without saying a word, he put the pillow down on the floor behind him and fell back onto it with his head.

“No fucking way, dude.” He said firmly. The look Harry gave him then was... well, shit.

No one, out of anyone Cisco had ever been with, had ever looked at him like that.

Like he was the world's most prized possession, and now he belonged to Harry. And only Harry.

It made his heart skip far too many beats, made his mouth go dry, made his cock twitch. He watched Harry tilt the bottle of lube, the thick liquid coming out slowly. It dripped down onto Cisco's hardness, making him hiss at the cool feel of it, relaxing his head back as suddenly Harry's hand was around his length, pumping without hesitation. The slick feel of it was incredible, insane, firm. Harry wasn't tentative about it. In fact, he was as confident as someone could be. He worked Cisco's dick so well and easily that Ramon was sure this wasn't the first time he'd played with someone else's. Cisco began to feel a delightful ache, a pressure in his groin promising a release that he was steadily wanting. But then Harry's hand slowed down, his thumb sliding over the tip of him, then letting go completely. Cisco had to blink up at him questioningly.

“Not yet. I'm not done with you.” Harry answered firmly, as though reading Cisco's mind.

“Greedy.” Ramon managed to breathe out.

“You have no idea.” Harry remarked plainly, taking the lube back up and slicking his fingers up with it. “But you're about to figure it out.” He added, just before he began teasing Cisco's hole.

A whole new set of sensations began to thrum through him. He let out a small 'oh' sound. Yup, he was figuring it out quickly. This wouldn't be Cisco's first time on the bottom. He'd played both parts in the sex game. He'd been with men and women, which he was figuring out quickly that Harry obviously had as well. After all, the guy had a daughter. And Harry was also way too good at doing what he was doing to him. After treating his hole as delicately as he'd ever treated anything to do with Cisco, he slid a finger in. Slowly at first, straight to the knuckle, gliding back and forth in an easy motion that had Cisco breathing out in concentrated breaths. Harry could have been hard about this, rough even. Ramon knew damn well he was capable of it. But Harry was taking his time, which honestly, Cisco was grateful for. It had been awhile, after all. Last thing he wanted was for this to go from feeling too damn good to being too damn painful.

After a minute or so, Harry put in another finger. Another minute after that, he scissored his entrance until he was satisfied that Cisco was right where he wanted him. Just relaxed enough to get in, not so relaxed that it wouldn't be tight. Cisco watched Harry lube himself up, then. Watched Harry rub his hand up and down the length of himself with the slick substance, and Cisco spread his legs wider in anticipation as Harry positioned himself. He felt Harry's smooth, wet tip press up against his twitching hole, and had to stop himself from moaning with just the idea of him driving himself in. But Harry didn't move. He just stayed there, pressed against him, teasing the idea of going in. “Tell me what you want, Ramon.” He growled out, his tone so low and grating that it made Cisco's dick twitch in response.

“You... can't be serious.” Cisco replied incredulously, looking up at him. But his eyes told him just how damn serious he was. He wanted Ramon to ask for it. That bastard. Cisco, for a moment, tossed the idea back and forth, wondering if he should find a way to turn the tables, make Harry beg for it instead. But Harry then gave him just the right amount of pressure on his hole, reaching forward with one hand and stroking Cisco's still slick dick. _Shit, shit, shit._ “Do it, Harry!” He nearly pleaded, the need, the ache just too much to ignore. He wanted Harry's hard length in him, sliding up against all the right things. “I want you, now!” He nearly demanded. And Harry smiled. A smile that Cisco would never forget. Hell, he wouldn't want to even if he could.

The next thing he knew, Harry was sliding steadily in. Inch by inch, pushing easily, carefully, as not to hurt Cisco. It was almost touching. For all of Harry's blatant masculinity, there really was a soft spot in him. It made Cisco think this had to be more than just sex for him. Maybe he really did care about Cisco, more than he let on. Once he was sheathed in Cisco's ass as far as he could get, he pumped Cisco's dick firmly, creating far too much feeling as he got used to Harry's size. “So warm...” Harry whispered with his eyes closed, “So tight.” He said through gritted teeth. The awe, the ecstasy in his tone nearly undid Cisco. He reached up for him without thinking, pulling him down, drowning them both in a kiss as Harry braced himself with a hand to either side of Cisco's shoulders.

The same time their tongues collided was the same time Harry began to move. In and out, deep and so damn intense. It was too slow at first, but then the kiss broke and Harry raised up above him, picking up a rhythm that was all at once far too much and not enough. Cisco couldn't help the sounds he was making, the way his hands felt useless, the tension building at the feel of Harry's hard cock hitting his prostate over and over in grand succession. He was suddenly very glad that no one else was in S.T.A.R. Labs, because if they were, they would have heard his random cries of pleasure. “So perfect, Ramon. God, you're perfect.” Harry gritted, picking up speed.

“Oh, fuck Harry, don't stop...” he pleaded, feeling Harry get up on his knees, shifting his hands to Ramon's thighs, somehow allowing himself to go that much deeper. And before he could realize it was happening, Cisco was on the brink. His whole groin was trapped in a painful sort of pleasure. He needed release, wanted it so bad. And as if reading his thoughts, his body began to comply. “I'm gonna... I'm...” He couldn't even finish the sentence. He was coming before he could form another word. His orgasm wracked through him, his hands gripping the floor for dear life, a cry of pure pleasure escaping his lungs. Harry rode him through it, hands gripping his thighs hard, fingers digging into his flesh. It felt like the orgasm would never stop.

“That's it, Ramon.” Harry breathed, watching him with pupil blown eyes that made Cisco's trembling body shiver relentlessly as the orgasm slowed, his white seed painting his stomach in splotches. Harry kept moving, picked up speed, eager, intense. It was all so goddamn much. Cisco closed his eyes, reveling in the tight, hot feel of it. Of Harry. Moving in and out, flesh pounding, muscles protesting. It wasn't till Harry let out a 'Yes, Ramon!' that Cisco opened his eyes again. He watched as Harry drove himself deep inside of him one more time, holding himself against him as his groin pulsed and his own orgasm crashed through him, filling Ramon with his seed. It was glorious, watching the wave of pleasure overcome the older man, the way his eyes squeezed shut, the way he bit his lip so hard it nearly blanched.

Once it was over, once the orgasm passed, Harry opened his eyes slowly, his chest heaving lightly. One by one, he slowly, gently even, let Cisco's legs down to the floor. After taking in a deep breath and letting it out, he grabbed the first piece of clothing he could get his hands on, which happened to be Cisco's t-shirt, and gently wiped Ramon's stomach clean before crawling back up his form carefully, lining his frame up against Cisco's shorter one. Cisco ignored the fact that his shirt was now a mess, and instinctively wrapped his arms around him, very aware that Harry was being careful not to pull out yet. Good. He was right where Cisco wanted him, after all.

“Does this mean we have to be nice to each other?” Cisco asked, cracking a light smile. He felt Harry lift his head, looking at him with a glare. His answer was to kiss Cisco, hard and hungry. When their lips parted, Cisco breathless, Harry slid out of him, rolling onto his back onto the cold floor beside Ramon and closing his eyes with a contented sigh.

“What fun would that be, Ramon.” He stated more than asked. Cisco propped himself up on one elbow, feeling a wonderful ache begin to throb in his ass, his dick, hell... his everything. He studied Harry, then. Head to toe. The way his skin was dabbled in sweat, the way his thighs twitched lightly every now and then, the way his chest rose and fell steadily.

“You're staring.” Harry said without opening his eyes, “Again.” He added, mimicking the exact words that had started this unforeseen encounter. Cisco grinned like an idiot and scooted toward him, grabbing his chin with thumb and forefinger and forcing Harry to turn his head and look at him.

“At least now you know why, you smug jerk.” He said, then tasted those lips. Those damn delicious lips. Harry's arms moved around him, pulling Cisco half on top of him. This kiss was different. Less hungry, less heated, more... what? More caring, more emotional, more... loving. Terms Cisco Ramon never thought he'd equate with Harrison Wells. When the kiss ended, Cisco helped Harry shift the pillow beneath his head, before Ramon rested his own head on Harry's shoulder and chest. He felt Harry's calloused fingers glide up and down his spine, and Cisco decided to mimic the movement on Harry's sternum.

“I hope you know, I plan on this being a thing.” Harry spoke up, moving his free hand beneath his head and letting out a slow breath. “Of the permanent variety.” Cisco chuckled.

“Harry, are you admitting you like me?” Ramon teased. Harry smiled, Cisco could hear it in his voice.

“I'm pretty sure I'm admitting far more than that, Ramon.” He answered warmly, and Cisco lifted his head to see his expression. It was... happy.

“Good. Me, too.” Ramon said, smiling lightly. Harry raised a brow.

“You, too, what?” Harry asked. And Cisco rolled his eyes.

“Shut up and hold me, you idiot.” He sighed out before plopping his head back down.

“I'm not an idiot.” Harry chided, continuing his stroking of Cisco's spine.

“Yeah you are. But you're _my_ idiot now, so...” Ramon said, closing his eyes. Harry was quiet for a long few moments, just breathing, just gliding his fingers.

“I can live with that.” Harry finally said. _Good,_ thought Cisco. _Apparently, so can I._

Because apparently it was supposed to be like this. He was supposed to secretly adore Harry's temper tantrums. He was supposed to look forward to bickering with Harry. He was supposed to think Harry's ability to annoy the ever-loving hell out of him is actually endearing. And... he was supposed to fall in love with Harry.  
Yeah.

This was exactly how it was supposed to be.


	2. Things Unsaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Harry is badly hurt saving Cisco's life, fear and guilt make Cisco think about what it might mean to lose the man he's grown to love. During his recovery, it's time for Harry to hear and say the things they've both left unsaid...

The beeping.

The goddamn, frustratingly rhythmic beeping was driving Cisco nuts.

It should have been comforting, a sign that life was still flowing through Harry's veins, but in Cisco's mind, it shouldn't have been necessary to begin with. If Harry had just listened, if Harry hadn't jumped in the way to save Cisco, if Harry wasn't Harry... well, Harry wouldn't be laying on his death bed, hooked up to monitors and tubes. Why did he have to be so... so... ugh, so _Harry?_ Cisco tore his eyes away from the monitor, the zig-zag line still burned into his vision when he blinked. He held in a sigh, rolling it around the lump in his chest, as his gaze wandered over Harry's torso. It was painted in purples and blues, his skin marred where the beam in the abandoned warehouse had swung down and smashed into him. The bandage over his left side was where Caitlin had to do surgery, to stop the internal bleeding, to remove Harry's ruptured spleen and repair his punctured lung. Cisco swallowed at the sight of it, knowing damn well Harry shouldn't look that way. 

So broken, so damaged.

"He's going to be alright." Caitlin's sweet tone met his ears, and he sucked in a breath before turning slightly to look at her as she placed her hand on his shoulder. Cisco clenched his jaw shut but nodded. "He's strong, and he's stubborn. This is not how Harrison Wells plans to go out." She smiled warmly at him, and he felt his eyes sting again as she gave him a sideways hug.

"Why didn't he just listen, ya know? He could've just stayed back, I mean... I could have dodged out of the way or somethin..." Cisco mumbled, the image of Harry being thrown like a rag doll assaulting his brain. He let out a small sound, shaking his head and wiping angrily at the tears that escaped his eyes.

The meta they were after, a woman Cisco had dubbed Crimson Lasher, had been on a killing spree, taking out people she had grudges with for one reason or another. Harry had figured out that she could be tracked down by using the S.T.A.R. Labs satellites to hone in on the massive amounts of electromagnetic energy she gave off when using her abilities. He also figured out that his pulse rifle would be pretty useful in a fight with her. So, despite Cisco's attempts to convince Harry that it was no big deal and he didn't have to go, he'd gone with Barry and Cisco to the warehouse. What they hadn't counted on was that Lasher's unstable mental state, coupled with her increasingly growing unstable powers, would make her go ballistic.

She'd pretty much blown herself up, and Harry, who always had to be one step ahead, saw the dislodged beam coming at the last minute. If he hadn't pushed Cisco out of the way, the beam that detached from the ceiling due to the gravitational waves would have pancaked him. Instead, it smashed right into the taller man with a sickening thwack, his body flying into a wall and coming to a stop on the cold concrete, completely still. In a heartbeat, Cisco's whole world stopped. Seeing Harry like that, bloody and not moving was... well, it was like someone had ripped Cisco's lungs out. He forgot how to breathe, until Barry took Harry's pulse and said he was still alive. Everything after that was just too fast. Barry had rushed Harry back to the lab. Caitlin was halfway through doing surgery on him by the time Cisco got there. And he hadn't left Harry's side since.

"You know Harry." Caitlin said, giving him one last squeeze, "He's not about to let anything happen to you. Not if he can help it." She gave Cisco a knowing look before leaving the room, the sound of the beeping monitor ringing in his ears again as he looked down at the one person on any planet that Cisco Ramon wanted to spend his life with. He gently slipped his fingers into Harry's perpetually disheveled hair, trying not to look at the breathing tube in his mouth.

"Don't you die on me, Harry." He whispered, his voice shaken and edgy as he leaned over and kissed Harry's cool forehead. The older man didn't react at all. It killed things inside of Ramon. They hadn't been a couple long enough for this to hurt so much, right? But it did. It hurt so much more than anything Ramon could remember. In no time at all, Harry had become such a solid and irreplaceable part of Cisco's life that there was no way Ramon could imagine living another day without him. He couldn't imagine it... because he couldn't anymore. Cisco Ramon could not live without Harry Wells. "I can't lose you." He choked out before rising up and letting his eyes fall back on that damn zig-zag line on the monitor, the beeping sound cementing itself painfully into his ears...

* * *

"Ramon, I can do it-" he managed to get out just before Cisco tugged the shirt down over Harry's head, which was a lot easier with the man sitting on the gurney, thankfully. "Myself." He finished flatly, before relenting and letting Cisco help him slip his arms into the sleeves.

"You heard what Caitlin said, you have to take it easy. Like, spa in the Hamptons easy." Cisco attempted to cajole. Harry just stared at him, that ever-familiar look of displeasure across his features. "Don't give me that look, Harry." Cisco said, raising his brows lightly and reaching for the medical cane that Caitlin had dug up. "You're going to be pampered, and you're going to like it, dammit." He said sternly, practically shoving the cane into Harry's personal space. The older man looked at it, then pushed it and Cisco's hand out of the way.

"I'm not using that." He asserted just before standing up stiffly from the bed, booted feet pressing into the floor. For a moment, Cisco watched Harry close his eyes, the scientist's jaw clenching. Harry didn't show pain like everyone else. He beat it down till it was either working with him or a prisoner of his will. When his blue eyes opened, Cisco was practically throttling the cane, waiting to see if Harry would fall over or move. He got his answer when Harry stepped past him, slowly heading for the open doorway. His steps were strained, uneven. But he was moving. And knowing Harry, that was good enough.

"Why do you have to be such a stubborn jackass?" Cisco practically growled out, setting the cane against the now empty gurney and moving after Harry quickly. "Ya know, it wouldn't kill you to let someone take care of you for once." He blurted, coming up to Harry's side and stopping him with an outstretched hand, back peddling to get in front of the taller man. Harry looked down at him, a single brow raised.

"I don't need you to take care of me, Ramon." Harry breathed, a slight tension in his voice, tightness around his eyes. Cisco practically chuckled.

"Right. Because you think you're Superman or something." Cisco crossed his arms over his chest. "Except you're not. Obviously. Dude, you can barely stand right now." Harry smirked then, a slight lift of his lips to the side that always made Cisco's heart pick up speed.

"You're right. I'm not Superman. I'm more like... Batman." He slipped past Ramon again, heading further into the cortex. Cisco rolled his eyes so hard he could practically see his own brain matter. Harry could be so damn... ugh, obstinate! He turned to give the man some sort of witty retort but was instantly at Harry's side instead when he saw him grip the counter where the computers were, holding his ribs with his other hand.

"See? This, right here? NOT fine. Not okay." Ramon chided, gripping onto Harry's back and chest to help keep him steady. He saw the pain on Harry's features, controlled and sharp. "Maybe I should get Caitlin. I don't think you're ready for th-" But Harry cut him off with a look.

"No. Do you have any idea the lengths I had to go through to convince her to let me leave that damn room? I practically sold my soul for fresh air." He growled out, but leaned into Ramon, draping an arm over his shoulders. "Fine..." he muttered, "You can help me. But I am _not_ going back to that room." Cisco felt an immense sense of relief and pride. He'd won this round.

"Alright, King Cranky Ass. Where do you want to go?" Cisco wrapped his arm around Harry's lower back, gripping onto the taller man's hip. He felt Harry's body radiate heat as he sighed through his nostrils.

"Outside." Was his answer, Harry choosing to completely ignore Ramon's insult. And for a moment, Cisco wondered if 'outside' would be a good idea. But hell, he couldn't really say no to Harry. No matter how he tried. About ten slow minutes later, they were on the roof of S.T.A.R. Labs, sitting on a bench swing that Caitlin had put up there ages ago. She liked to sit and read when the weather was nice. High above it all, surrounded by clean air and a whole lot of quiet. Harry was settled, eyes closed, one arm stretched over the back of the seat. And Cisco wandered back over to him after having peered down at the eerily empty parking lot below. He stopped a few feet away, hands in his pockets, watching as Harry moved the swing back and forth easily, one booted foot pressing up and down on the surface beneath it. "You just gonna stand there?" Harry asked as he opened his eyes, "Or are you going to sit with me?" Cisco couldn't help it, he gave a small smile before he eased himself down onto the seat and scooted into Harry's good side.

The outside world might view Harry as a hard, dickish and rough guy. Which, actually, he kinda was. But Cisco also knew that Harry was as tender as they came. He had a big heart, full of compassion and enough love for Ramon that Cisco often felt like he could survive off that alone. Their first romantic encounter, which had been incredibly sudden and fast paced, had turned out to be so much more for both of them. It had been an affirmation of things unsaid and needed and wanted. Their relationship after practically blossomed overnight, and the more the days went on, the closer they seemed to get.

Barry and Caitlin were thankfully not upset about the sudden coupling. In fact, they'd been waiting for it to happen, which was evidenced by Barry forking up twenty bucks to a giddy Caitlin who had apparently won a long-standing bet on the matter. Cisco couldn't even be mad. He was just so happy to have their acceptance. And happy to have Harry. Rough and frustrating and stubborn and dickish Harry. The same Harry who was currently stroking Cisco's arm lightly, continuing the lazy sway of the bench swing.

"I'm sorry." Harry said long after the silence settled around them. Cisco had taken to resting his head on Harry's arm, had curled his hand around Harry's thigh. He blinked, lifting his head, turning to look at Harry's far too handsome profile.

"For what?" Cisco asked, watching a myriad of blues swirl in Harry's crystal gaze before he too turned his head, looking at Ramon with an expression that was just so damn full of affection that Cisco felt his whole body go still.

"For scaring you. Snow said you were... very worried, after I was hurt." He hadn't stopped stroking Cisco's arm. And Cisco was glad of it because it helped him remain steady under that adoring gaze. No one ever saw this side of Harry but him. The affectionate side, the one that would never hurt Ramon, the one that was all love for Cisco. They had never actually said those words to each other. They'd only been a thing for about three months. But Cisco liked to think that it was there, even if it wasn't said. Ramon let out a steady sigh, then pressed his forehead to Harry's.

"There was this terrible moment when I thought I'd lost you." Cisco whispered lightly. "It was too much, man. It still is. I wish..." he paused, closing his eyes, "I wish you'd just let it hit me, instead of you." Harry's hand stopped at that, his other hand coming around to cup Cisco's face as he nearly glared at him.

"Don't do that." Harry ordered, the words so stern and demanding that all Cisco could do was blink. "I'd die for you, Ramon. No regrets. No second thoughts. Just like, I hope, you would for me. That's the whole point of being with someone, caring for them this much. I wouldn't take back what I did, even if I could."

Cisco felt his chest ache, his breath hitch, a fine tremble settle into his muscles. Only Harry could make him feel like the center of the multiverse without even trying. Only Harry could look at him like that and make everything inside of Ramon turn to absolute mush. "You're just... a guy, Harry." Cisco whispered, shaking his head a little, but leaning into Harry's touch. "You might be Batman level badassery, but you're not unbreakable. You getting hurt? Totally not my idea of a good time. You getting dead, well... that's a nail in my coffin, too."

Harry, goddamn frustrating Harry, smirked at that. Humor mingled with the affection in his eyes. "So you agree, I'm Batman." Cisco swatted him for that, and Harry winced, though chuckled. Ramon let out a small laugh of his own.

"Dude, you are such an ass." He sighed, then shook his head. "I'm being serious. I can't lose you, Harry." He mimicked his own words from Harry's bedside several days earlier, when he was unconscious and near death.

"Why?" Harry asked, his brows furrowing. Cisco practically scoffed.

"Are you serious?!" Cisco demanded, reaching up and pulling Harry's hand off his cheek.

"Yes. We lose people, Ramon. That's part of the job, this heroic thing you've all got going." Harry replied casually. Cisco felt anger bubble up. "I'm no more special than anyone else. Far less important than Barry, Caitlin or you. So begs the question." If Cisco didn't think it would land Harry back on his death bed, he'd have hit him. He'd have railed on him. He'd have torn him apart. He knew Harry was emotionally stunted at the best of times, but seriously?! Instead, Cisco did the only other thing he could think of to get through to him. He reached up and took Harry's face in both of his hands. And he kissed him.

Full, deep, longingly. He poured everything he was into that kiss, every damn thing Harry made him feel -good or bad. He let Harry know how much Cisco needed him, wanted him with every move of lips, every entangling of their tongues. It only dawned on him briefly, as they shifted their positions to accommodate each other better, that he might be hurting Harry as he pressed himself closer into him. But for the moment, he didn't care. It would serve him right, anyway. When they finally came up for air, Harry breathing a fair bit heavier than Cisco, Ramon pulled his lips away, catching Harry's pupil blown and confused gaze.

"That's why, you idiot." Ramon said roughly. "Because _I love you._ There. I said it. Happy?" He practically pouted, letting his hands fall. And watched as everything on Harry's face changed. Harry went from stoic confusion to overtly pleased in a microsecond. And before Ramon could even think about saying anything more, Harry was kissing him. Just as full and deep and longingly as Ramon had done. This time, when they pulled away, Harry refused to let him go.

"Very happy." Harry finally said, "And for the record, Ramon... I love you, too." Whatever frustration Harry had brought about fizzled out of existence. Shit. Harry loved him, too.

"So..." he cleared his throat a little, "Let's not wait till one of us is on our death bed to say stuff like that."

"Deal." Harry answered lightly. "But you realize this doesn't mean I'll stop trying to protect you, Ramon. If anything, it means I'll try harder." Cisco sighed.

"Alright, Batman." He laid on the sarcasm, watching Harry's eyes narrow on him. "But for now, can you just get better?"

"Sure, Robin."

"Oh... oh, heeelll no." Ramon dragged out. "No Robin here, uh uh. That, this, so not a thing." He motioned between them quickly with one hand. "I am so not the sidekick in this relationship." Harry chuckled, then curled a hand behind Ramon's head, pulling him close.

"Shut up, Ramon." He ordered, just before he kissed Cisco again, leaving him utterly defenseless and happy for it. Happy there, in the arms of the one man in any universe that could drive Cisco to drink and make him happier than he had any right to be. Love was such a crazy thing. Even crazier with Harry. But, honestly, Ramon wouldn't have it any other way. He'd take Harry and his overprotective, grumpy ass over a serene mind and lack of fear any day of the week.


	3. Pancakes and Small

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cisco is pretty damn sure that he can't imagine life without Harry now. Question is, does Harry feel the same about him?

"It's not supposed to be scientifically accurate. It's a television show." Cisco half munched, half spoke through a handful of popcorn as the latest episode in their binge watching of _Stargate: SG1_ finished. Apparently, they didn't have the Sci-fy channel on Earth-2, which meant Harry had never seen half the glorious and cheesy sci-finess that Earth-1 had to offer. And Cisco Ramon, being... well... Cisco Ramon, had taken it upon himself to bring poor Harry up to speed.

"What's the point of putting even minutely accurate science into a show if they're not going to use it all of the time?" Harry mumbled, tugging lightly on Cisco's hair, fingers working lazily on a braid. Which was a secret, by the way. Heaven forbid the world knew that Harry could braid hair. Or that Harry liked playing with Cisco's whenever he had the chance. Cisco was settled comfortably on the floor in front of his couch, between Harry's knees, a big bowl of popcorn on his lap, enjoying every minute of Harry's fingers in his dark locks.

"You're thinking about it too much. Just... try shutting up your genius brain and enjoy the storylines." And tug. Cisco scowled, tilting his head up to look at Harry. "Be nice, or I'll make you sit through Doctor Who." Harry just narrowed his gaze and pushed Cisco's head back into position. The next episode began. Thank goodness for endless streaming. Cisco could practically feel the groan that came out of Harry, and he chuckled lightly before munching on another handful of popcorn. It amused Cisco endlessly how little patience Harry had for these sorts of shows, and yet here he was, humoring Cisco and suffering through it simply because he'd asked Harry to. Nearly nine months into their relationship, and Cisco still thought he mostly had figured Harry out.

Harry Wells was still a standoffish, rough around the edges, beat people into submission kind of guy. But he was also relentlessly caring, fiercely protective of the people he loves, and far more understanding than most gave him credit for. Cisco would spend hours just confiding in Harry and find nothing but acceptance and words of wisdom. Never once had Harry judged him or used the things he'd learned in confidence against him. As far as trust went, Harry had earned it a thousand times over by now.

And Harry talked, too. It wasn't easy, getting the older man to open up. It was more like diffusing a bomb, or painstakingly putting together a ten-thousand-piece puzzle. It took time, and a whole hell of a lot of patience. But when Harry did have meaningful conversations with him, Cisco cherished them. Because it meant that Harry didn't just trust Cisco with his secrets, but needed him, too. Which meant more than Cisco could probably ever express.

From an outside perspective, their lives were not conducive to having a relationship like this. They were constantly in danger fighting metas, or they were busy with science, or Harry was putting as much time as he could manage into his relationship with Jesse. There was also the fact that the two of them were complete opposites. As in peanut butter and mayonnaise. Or pickles and whipped cream. There was just no way they should have worked. Emotionally, physically or otherwise. But they did. They took the book and re-wrote it. And every day, their relationship got a bit stronger, more concrete, more permanent. Which was exactly what Cisco wanted.

To be honest, it was a somewhat new revelation for him. He'd had far too many relationships in the past. A third of which was based solely on physical needs. The rest, however, never worked out. The longest he'd been with anyone before Harry was five months. And that was just because Cisco couldn't figure out how to break up with someone who could shoot him from forty yards away. Dating a Navy Seal had been awesome, for a little while at least.

With Harry, it was different. With everyone else, Cisco had found reasons for it not to work, or would lose interest, or would figure out he just wasn't ready for whatever the other person wanted. But with Harry, every day he seemed to find reasons to keep going. He never lost interest, and it seemed they were always on the same page as far as what they wanted from each other and their future. A heavy subject, to say the least. But one they'd touched on once or twice. Things were settled. Things were good. They were happy. And Cisco wanted it to be that way forever. Which, when he figured it out, had really thrown him for a loop.

 _Caitlin was laughing at him. As in full on, thigh slapping, gasping for air giggle fit._ "What's so funny?!" _Cisco demanded, crossing his arms over his chest in an attempt to seem stern. Caitlin shook her head, managing to compose herself after a moment._

"You're seriously just figuring this out now? Cisco... in three months, you'll have been with Harry for a year. I'd say you're pretty well stuck, and you like it that way." _She grinned at him and he attempted to frown, but couldn't quite make his lips turn down._

"But what if he doesn't want a year? Or five? Or more?" _He asked, letting his arms fall and rubbing his palms over his face in frustration momentarily._ "What if I'm hopelessly in love with him, but he eventually figures out I'm not what he wants?" _He mumbled through his hands, dropping them only when he felt Caitlin's gentle palm on his shoulder._ "I sound like a love-sick high schooler. Shoot me now."

"It's pretty obvious, to everyone -not just me, that Harry loves you. Really, truly loves you. If he was going to change his mind, I think he would have done it by now. Don't you?" _Caitlin offered, forever the voice of reason._

"Shut this off. I think I'm going to have an aneurysm." Harry grumbled, smoothing Cisco's hair out of the braid so all the strands fell straight, snapping Cisco out of the memory. Harry pushed up from the couch, careful not to bump into or knock Cisco over, and he stretched before slurping the last of his soda out of his cup with a straw.

"Wuss." Cisco said, setting the popcorn on his coffee table and getting up. A moment later, the tv was off and Cisco plopped down onto the couch, stretching his legs out and laying down, taking up all the space. Harry had disappeared into the bedroom, probably to get his boots. He didn't like sleeping at Cisco's. Ramon had figured it was because Harry didn't really have a place of his own, and it bothered him. On this Earth, Harry had the face of a killer. So it wasn't exactly like he could go house hunting. As much as Cisco would love for Harry to move in, he hadn't brought the subject up again since the first time. Simply because the conversation had not gone well. Though, to be fair, that had been four months ago. Maybe Harry wouldn't be so against it now.

"What's that look for?" Harry asked out of the blue, making Ramon jump a little.

"Dammit, Harry. I told you, no ninja walking!" He grumbled out, craning his head to see Harry leaning against the doorframe to the living room. He had his hands in his pockets, a smug look on his handsome as hell face, and... no boots on. Ramon blinked, and completely shifted his frame to make sure he wasn't hallucinating it. "You're... staying?" He asked, unable to hide the surprise in his tone. Harry moved toward the couch again, his socked feet quiet on the carpet. He loomed tall and dark over Ramon, but he'd gotten used to that. He found it rather hot, actually, how Harry could be so masculine without trying.

"That's the plan." Harry said nonchalantly, then picked up Cisco's legs and held them while he sat down, then dropped Cisco's legs onto his thighs. "Unless you want me to leave."

"Pft, no. Uh, uh. You kidding?" Cisco grinned like an idiot. And Harry seemed to be unable to help but smile in response. "Dude, I am so making pancakes in the morning. Like, with blueberries and a crap ton of whipped cream." Harry chuckled a little, resting one hand on Cisco's legs and draping the other arm over the back of the couch.

"This isn't a sleepover, Ramon." Harry settled his gaze on him. "But if there's bacon involved, I'm game." Cisco laughed.

"I think I have bacon." He nodded lightly, then sat up, shifting his position entirely so he was sitting in Harry's lap, his legs straddling him to either side. Harry never broke his composure, always so sure and stoic and completely unfazed by Cisco's displays of affection. "And I'll make bacon under one condition." Only then did Harry narrow his gaze, bringing his hands to Cisco's hips. Cisco clasped his hands behind Harry's neck. "This has to be a thing. Like you sleep over more than once a month... More like you sleep over every week. Twice a week, even." Harry seemed to go momentarily quiet, Ramon completely mesmerized by the swirling blues in his eyes. He loved watching Harry think, the way his mind worked somehow played out in his stares.

"Deal." Harry said, one word, easy and smooth, and Cisco was suddenly grinning.

"Seriously?! Cause, no take-backs." He stated. Had to be sure. Right? Harry chuckled, then leaned his head forward.

"What're you, twelve?" Harry remarked humorously. "I'm always serious, Ramon." And with that, Harry kissed him, warmly, deliciously.

A few hours later, after they'd satisfied each other in all the best ways, they were laying in Cisco's bed, completely naked and spent, Ramon happily playing little spoon, Harry pressed up firmly against his back, enfolding Cisco in long legs and arms. The air was warm and perfect, a single blanket pulled up halfway over their forms. "Hey, Harry." He muttered sleepily into the quiet dark.

"Mm." Harry answered. Barely a word.

"I actually lied about the bacon." Cisco said more clearly. He felt every inch of Harry sigh as warm breath met the back of Cisco's shoulder.

"You'll pay for that later." Harry grumbled out, too spent and comfortable to move. Cisco grinned lazily, sighing out contentedly.

"Promise?" He pushed, wrapping a hand warmly around one of Harry's arms. He could almost picture Harry's eye roll.

"Shut up, Ramon." Harry answered.

"Yeah, I love you, too, Harry." Cisco chuckled softly. Silence settled in around them. Harry's breathing became more and more steady behind Cisco, and he couldn't help but feel entirely at ease. But then, after the mingled sounds of their combined breathing had become familiar, Harry spoke.

"Love you." No sarcasm, no guile. Just Harry. Which was all Cisco could ever want or need.

In one year. In five years. Forever.


	4. Silk Pajamas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fighting metas is tough at the best of times. And so is having a relationship with Harry. But when both things start to take their toll, Cisco can't help but feel more than a little disappointed. Who knew anniversaries were supposed to be so hard?

Harry was throwing things again.

The empty beaker that hit the wall was luckily only plastic, so it simply bounced off and rattled uselessly to the floor. The sound, however, was more than enough to make both Barry and Cisco cringe. Three days in to trying to figure out how to catch a particularly bad meta who had superhuman strength and a camouflage ability, and they hadn't done much more than get their asses handed to them. Twice. The second time, Cisco ended up with bruised ribs and a concussion. And Harry had been in a foul mood ever since.

Honestly, bruised ribs weren't the worst. Sure, it hurt to laugh, and breathe, and... well, it just fricken hurt. But ribs could heal. And so could a bruised noggin. Cisco was having a hard time wrapping his head around the idea that Harry could be this upset over a few small boo-boos. So he'd convinced himself it had to be something else.

"Look, maybe... it's time we took a brea-" Barry paused, catching Harry's angry glare, "Or not?" He made it a question and Harry turned quickly around, wiping at the dry erase board harshly. "We've been at this for hours, and Chameleon hasn't been seen since this morning. It's getting late, and we're all stressed and beat. It's time to call it till tomorrow." Barry nudged Cisco lightly in the arm. Cisco, who had been watching the strong form of Harry's back, blinked and slipped his feet off the desk, flopping them to the floor.

"Right, yes. Break good. Rest better." He spoke, all cromagnonesque. He watched Harry roll a shoulder, pausing the white pen in his hand for a brief moment before continuing his scribblings. Barry sighed, pushing his chair back, leaning slightly toward Cisco.

"Talk to him. He keeps going like this, he's going to drive us more nuts than usual." Barry whispered slightly. Cisco could see the exhaustion on his friend's face and gave a reassuring smile. Barry just nodded once and stood, leaving without so much as a goodbye. And the room was suddenly quiet, except for the occasional squeak from the marker.

"Harry." Cisco finally spoke up, getting to his feet carefully so he wouldn't twinge his ribs.

"Ramon." Harry replied flatly, without turning around or stopping his work. Cisco sighed and sauntered over, stopping right beside Harry and reaching up, plucking the marker out of Harry's hand. Harry froze, giving Cisco a remarkably stone-cold glare, but he didn't try to take the marker back. He let his hand fall instead, turning to face Cisco completely.

"Rest. Ya know, the thing where you lay down in bed and the body regenerates much needed energy? I'm sure you've heard of it." Cisco said, slipping the marker into his jean pocket, not giving Harry a chance to snag it back. Harry reached up and pulled his glasses off, then nodded once.

"You're right. You need rest. Go home, Ramon." And Harry slipped his hand into his own black jean pocket, producing a duplicate marker. Well, shit.

"Come on, man." Cisco whined and attempted to reach for the marker. But Harry held it far too easily up over his head, and completely out of reach. "Tall people suck. For the record." Cisco grated. "WE need rest, Harry. Both of us. As in," He prodded Harry hard in the chest, "You and me. Sleeping and snoring like the sexy beasts we are." Harry's expression softened slightly in amusement. But Cisco could tell, he wasn't going to win this one. Harry was on one of his runaway trains, and there wasn't going to be any stopping him till he got what he was after. "Fine. But don't come running to me when you're burnt out and channeling Grumpy Cat." He muttered, moving away to yank his jacket off the back of the chair he'd been sitting in. He was tired, he was getting cranky, he was sore, he was... well, he was actually kind of disappointed.

Okay, _a lot_ disappointed.

"This is not how this day was supposed to go." He said, draping his jacket lazily over one arm, careful of his ribs. He ran a hand through his hair, watching Harry turn around and look at him with a questioning glance. Cisco just shook his head. "Never mind. Enjoy your mayhemic thought process." he conceded, and simply turned, leaving Harry alone. It wasn't the first time they'd come to an impasse. Harry was a stubborn ass at the best of times, but put a problem in his head and there was no dealing with him until it was solved. Cisco knew this. It was one of the reasons why he loved the guy. He found his passion for his work and his life simply admirable. But sometimes... sometimes, it was simply a pain in the ass.

Right now, more than most times. Because not once, throughout the entire day, had Harry mentioned it. The 'it' in question being the fact that today was their one-year anniversary. One year of being together after that first ridiculously unforgettable and amazing romp on the Cortex floor. One year of growing closer, more established, impossibly more in love. Cisco was sure he wasn't alone in that sentiment. He knew damn well Harry loved him. He showed it in his own cantankerous way, and Cisco loved that, too. But when Harry was on a tangent, the rest of the world -sometimes including Cisco- seemed to fall to the wayside.

He had no doubt that Harry had forgotten about what today was entirely. And that hurt like a bitch. It shouldn't have. It's not like anyone planned on a murderous meta showing up. Nor could anyone have imagined it would be this hard to catch the guy. But Cisco could only chalk half of the forgetting up to that. The rest was just Harry being Harry. It was something Cisco just had to come to terms with. Loving the guy was hard. But worth it. So worth it.

Still.

The drive home was quiet. And the apartment even quieter. At this point, Harry slept there most nights. He even had a drawer full of his own dark clothes. Cisco had grown so used to the way Harry would take up the empty space in his life without doing much more than being there. But tonight, Harry wasn't there to bicker with, to curl up besides, to fall asleep next to. And though this certainly wasn't the first time the older man had worked through the night, and probably wouldn't be the last, tonight Cisco really wanted Harry to be there. Why hadn't he just said that in the first place?

"Smart, Cisco." He sighed at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He had a dark bruise over his temple. And his ribs weren't any better, flushed hues of purple painting a palm sized span. His hair was still slightly dripping wet from the shower. His towel was wrapped around his waist. He should have just gone to bed, but his brain was still on the fact that nothing he'd wanted to happen today had come to fruition. So he'd spent a good forty minutes, just letting the hot water soothe not only his sore body, but his sore brain.

He closed his eyes, hands gripping the sink. A deep sigh escaped his lips. He wouldn't change things with Harry, not really. They worked in their own dysfunctionally adorable way. Sometimes, though, even Cisco could reach his emotional limits. He took in a slow breath, tempting the bruised ribs, before letting it out defiantly slow. Not bad. Ribs didn't hurt much anymore. He decided that was probably the only good thing that happened today. And was about to leave it at that when he let out a yip, practically jumping out of his skin the moment he felt warm and steady hands on his hips. The squeal that came out of his mouth as his eyes flew open and his hands went up was decidedly unmanly.

"Dammit, Harry!" He blurted, catching Harry's rather pleased expression in the mirror, the taller man easily towering behind him. "Don't DO that!" he demanded for probably the one millionth time since he'd known the man, turning and forcing Harry's hands to fall to the wayside. "You really gotta learn to make a sound. Like, whistle or make bird noises. Somethin, Jesus." He found himself muttering, towel clad butt pressed to the cold sink. "Wait..." he narrowed his gaze then, crossing his arms over his chest. "What are you doing here?"

"You gave me a key." Harry responded, as though that explained everything right down to the meaning of life.

"Duh, numbnut. I meant, what are you doing here tonight? Now? Thought you'd be busy scribbling away in the lab." He motioned toward Harry, slipping away from him out into the hall and straight for the bedroom. He could hear Harry's lazy boot falls following close behind. Ugh, Harry Wells... most irritating man on the pla-

Cisco froze when he got to the open bedroom door. His balled-up hands suddenly relaxed and he couldn't help what had to be a stupidly surprised expression on his face. "I didn't forget, in case you were wondering." Harry said from behind him. He was close, Cisco could feel the warmth of his body just inches away. But Harry didn't touch him. And Cisco didn't turn. He was too busy staring at the giant bouquet of red roses on the small table beneath the window, and the wrapped, book-sized box in front of it. Harry Wells was _not_ romantic. At least, not typically romantic. Was Cisco dreaming? Or hallucinating? He turned slowly then, looking up at Harry's very calm features. And with one finger he reached out and poked Harry in the chest. Harry rolled his eyes incredulously. "I'm real, Ramon." He grated. And Cisco blushed, but smirked.

"Had to be sure." He said before balling Harry's shirt up in both fists and pulling him in. The kiss was tender, adoring. Which was always far more surprising than it should be. Cisco knew how rough Harry could be when they both wanted it. But with Cisco, Harry was always careful, always verging on delicate, always loving. And Cisco adored that endlessly. When they pulled their lips apart, Harry smoothed Cisco's wet hair back.

"Go open your gift." Harry urged gently, then let his hands fall. Cisco grinned like an idiot, then turned and practically plopped down on the corner of the bed, reaching forward and grabbing the flat box. He wasted no time in pulling off the white ribbon and the dark blue wrapping paper. Then he peeled open the box and froze.

"Harry..." he whispered softly, then set the box lid aside and pulled out a framed picture. And not just any picture. A picture of Harry and Cisco dancing at Joe's house, during the Christmas party. He couldn't even remember the picture being taken, but he certainly remembered the moment. It was the first time they'd ever danced. And it had been clumsy and perfect. Harry had smiled the whole time, and it had caused an infectious happiness that had filled up Ramon for days. It was one of Cisco's favorite memories of the two of them, and he'd said as much. Harry had obviously remembered because here it was, in a frame, memorialized. He heard Harry, or more like felt him, move more into the room. Then the bed shifted as Harry sat very close to him, his lean frame warm and comfortable against Cisco.

"It probably sounds like just an excuse," Harry talked softly, one hand smoothing around Cisco's toweled hip. "But I can't always seem to control how stuck in my head I get." He explained, his lips lowering to Cisco's shoulder and pressing warmly to his still slightly damp skin for a moment. "You getting hurt didn't help any. Made me want to catch Chameleon even more. But... I didn't forget today." Cisco found himself leaning into Harry's frame, gazing still at the picture in his hands. "Took me awhile, actually... to think of what to get you." Which was probably true. Harry could never be said to be thoughtless. Everything he said and did was with thought and reason, even when he was angry. Especially when he was content. Some people might have thought a picture for a first anniversary wasn't the most romantic, ideal gift. But knowing Harry like Cisco did, that picture was everything.

"I got you pajamas." Cisco muttered, his voice slightly choked by unshed tears he hadn't even realized were there. "But, ya know... really flattering, silky ones." Yeah, Cisco wasn't good at the gift giving thing. Like, at all. (He really needed to work on that.) Harry could have scoffed, could have been deflated by Cisco's admission. But instead, Harry chuckled, slipping his arms firmly around Cisco.

"I could use some pajamas." He stated softly, a smile in his voice. Cisco smirked, wiping at his eyes with one hand, refusing to let go of the picture with the other. Today may not have turned out like he'd wanted, but Harry was sure as hell making it end perfectly.

"How do you do that?" Cisco asked then, dropping his hand and turning in Harry's arms, enough to see his face. "How can you be so frustrating and then so perfect in the blink of an eye? And why the hell would pajamas be okay with you? Seriously, this..." he motioned to the picture, "This is amazing." Harry's face was content, a soft stretch of his lips a sign of how much. He lifted a hand to slip some of Cisco's wet hair behind his ear.

"Anything you choose to give is fine with me, and more than I deserve." Harry stated, not bothering to broach on the first question. Cisco just blinked at him, mouth slightly agape.

"Okay, no..." He stood up then, turning to set the picture beside the flowers, making sure it was standing so he could see it easily no matter where he was in the room, then he went to his closet and pulled out a gift box that had the pajamas neatly folded inside, turning to show it to Harry. "You deserve way more than you think. Way more than this." He shook the box lightly, watching Harry's eyes narrow on him. The look on his face was... _delicious._ No, bad Cisco, back on target. "What if I told you... I want to give you so much more?" He moved back to Harry, plopping the box beside him on the bed, but still standing, hands on his hips. Harry was just watching him, confused and quiet. "What if I said I want to give you..." he cleared his throat a little, feeling heat rise in his cheeks, shyness suddenly raging. But he quelled it. He had to do this. Needed to. Wanted to. Yeah... he wanted this. And he was just realizing it. Which made it all the more crazy. "Me." He finished. Nodded, then crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah, I want to give you me."

"You want to give me... you." Harry remarked, a touch of humor in his voice, but confusion still playing on his features. "Ramon, I'm pretty sure you do that on a fairly continuous basis." He smirked lightly, his palms flat on his knees. Cisco glared down at him. It wasn't often he got to hover over Harrison Wells, and he kind of enjoyed it. Not to mention, it made him feel like he had a sudden advantage he didn't normally have.

"Right, tone it down, Casanova. I mean," He took in a deep breath and let it out slow, "You don't think you deserve anything good. Which I'm pretty sure is just years of undeserved guilt at play. You don't see what I do, Harry. You just don't. And what I see," He let his arms fall, "Is you. I mean... I really, really _see_ you. You're so damaged, so lost most of the time, but you push through it because you don't care how much hell falls on you if you can take the brunt of it from everyone else. That's how good you are, that's how much you care." He watched Harry's face sober, begin to shadow, like it did when he didn't want to hear the good things people had to say. As though he would never be worthy of it. Or allow himself to dare to be. Cisco stepped forward and then knelt in front of Harry, losing the high stature. He gripped Harry's thighs, forcing the still sitting taller man to look at him. "You live like you've got all this darkness inside of you, but the truth is... you're the only bit of light in it. You're just too surrounded by your shadows to notice." Cisco watched Harry's brows furrow, his lips stretch into a tight line, his brilliant blue eyes quiet and shadowed as he breathed steadily, unmoving as he stared right at Cisco.

"I'm not..." he began, his grated voice strained, and he shook his head, clearing his throat softly, "I'm not good, Cisco." It wasn't often that Harry used Cisco's first name, but when he did this time, it was so full of smothered pain that it made Cisco's heart ache instantly. "I don't know why you see it in me. And I'd be a damn fool not to want you to look at me... like this..." He lifted a hand and slipped his hand over Cisco's cheek, his thumb smoothing over his skin. "I wish I was the man you think I am. But the truth is, one day you're going to realize that you deserve far better than me." He let his hand fall. God, those words sounded so cruel to Cisco. But at the same time, he knew Harry hadn't meant it that way. In Harry's mind, it was rational. It made sense. In Harry's mind, who would want someone like him?

"There isn't better than you." Cisco said, steeling himself, gripping Harry's thighs harder for emphasis. "If I could have anyone in any world in any universe, it would still be you, Harry. You're an asshole, sure. But you're my asshole. And this?" He raised his brows, "This isn't going to end. Not if I have any say in the matter. So..." he swallowed and nodded. Firmly. More to himself than Harry. "Marry me, you idiot."

".... what?" Harry blinked, shock plain as day on his face. Yeah, he hadn't been expecting that at all. And honestly, a few minutes ago it hadn't even been a formed thought. But now, Cisco knew it. This was what he wanted. Day in and day out. Every damn frustrating, terrible, wonderful and loving moment of it. Cisco nodded again, not budging an inch.

"You heard me. You think I deserve better. But you're it, man. You're my better. And I think you deserve the whole damn sky. Unfortunately, all I can give you is a pair of sweet silk pajamas and my charming handsome self. Which is what I meant when I said I want to give you me." Cisco moved forward, cementing himself between Harry's long legs and gripping both of Harry's hips, looking up at him. It wasn't often that Harry looked vulnerable in front of anyone. It was so rare, it was like seeing a unicorn. But Cisco saw it then, the uncertainty, the fear, the sheer and utter exposing of Harry's perpetually battered heart. "I love you, Harry." He added, wanting him to hear the words. And Harry, let out a breath, like he'd been holding it in. The muscles in his jaw clenched tightly after that. And before Cisco could have the chance to add anymore, Harry was kissing him. It felt so surreal and wild, like the very first time Harry had ever kissed him. Full of things he didn't know how to share or say in any other way. And Cisco was perfectly okay with that. He was melting into Harry. Into his hands and his mouth and just him. When their lips parted, hands still holding on to each other for dear life, Cisco swallowed and managed to breathe. "You realize, that doesn't really count as an answer."

"Considering you didn't actually ask me a question, you're entirely right." Harry offered, his voice a thick raspiness that Cisco would never get enough of. But he rolled his eyes and pulled away just far enough to see Harry's face fully.

"Harry... will you marry me?" He said with a smirk, well aware he should have been frustrated by Harry being Harry. But he wasn't. Not this time. He was content with it. Comfortable. Happy to have Harry being frustrating. And Harry, in response, smirked back.

"I hope you realize... that the logistics of that are going to be complicated." Which was true, considering on this Earth, Harry had to stay under the radar due to the fact he had the face of a well-known murderer. And on Harry's Earth, Cisco was in the same boat, thanks to Reverb. "But yes." Harry added. And Cisco grinned, like a happy, lazy cat. Big and wide, then let out a short bark of a laugh.

"Dude, best anniversary ever!" Cisco said, rising up more on his knees and pulling Harry further into him. Harry complied very willingly.

"And apparently, we can look forward to many more." Harry smiled lightly, his lips hovering warmly just near Cisco's.

"Damn right." Cisco replied, still grinning.

"Do you always have to get the last word in, Ramon?" Harry asked, furrowing his brows lightly. But the humor, the affection, stayed in Harry's eyes.

"Yup." Cisco replied. And before Harry could say another word, he gave Harry another damn good gift. Though, it was more like they gave a gift to each other. One they both thoroughly enjoyed probably way too much. When all was said and done, Harry was passed out on his back, naked head to toe, no blankets. No need for them. The room was warm enough. And Cisco was just as naked, watching him sleep, tucked in against Harry's side, sliding his fingers in slow motions on Harry's steadily rising and falling chest. "Damn right." He muttered once more, just before he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep next to the strongest, hardest, most frustrating, caring, real and loving man Cisco Ramon had ever known.


	5. Collateral Damage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A meta who can rewire brains should be par for the course. But what happens in the wake of an attack on Harry has unexpected and painful repercussions for everyone, especially Cisco. Is this the end of their relationship?

Harry hadn't been Harry for much longer than ten minutes, but it was enough to change everything.

Finding metas was part of the job. It wasn't every day the metas came to them. It happened, but it was rare. So when Rebecca Stern, a former employee of S.T.A.R. Labs turned up that everyone had thought went missing after the particle accelerator explosion, calling herself Hacker, it was pretty surprising. Not so surprising that she had it out for Harrison Wells. Except she didn't know that the Harrison Wells she hated so much, Thawne, no longer existed. And the man she'd set her sights on was actually Harry.

Sure, he was guilty of causing the explosion on his Earth. But here, the blame wasn't his. It always seemed to follow him around, however. And he swallowed it whole, despite not needing to. Briefly trying to explain he wasn't who Rebecca thought he was had failed miserably. And the next thing everyone knew, she was suddenly behind Harry, her fingers pressed into his temples. Watching Harry fall to his knees, in such sudden and rigid pain had them all gasping. Barry was at a hospital fire across town. The only other meta in the room was Cisco. And Hacker was just too close to Harry to do anything without hurting him, too.

"He's got you all fooled, doesn't he." Hacker hissed out, small electric pulses beginning to flow out of her fingers and into Harry's head. His face slowly went calm, as if whatever pain he'd felt had disappeared. But his eyes were blank. And that was just frightening as hell to Cisco. Harry's eyes had always been full of vigor and controlled emotion. Seeing them entirely empty was terrifying. "But that's alright. You're about to see what happens to a man like Harrison Wells when he can't control his darker side." And suddenly, Harry's eyes weren't empty anymore. "Enjoy the ride, Doctor Wells." Hacker pulled her hands away, then fizzled out of view in a burst of electric sparks, leaving Cisco, Jesse and Caitlin alone with Harry. Except Harry wasn't Harry. At least not the Harry they knew, the Harry that Cisco loved. In a breath of a moment, he was swinging his pulse rifle around. And firing at them. And the look in his eyes was unmistakably dark, even cruel. It was a look that shook Cisco right to the core.

It took Cisco stepping out in front of him, hands out, his goggles on, prepared to hit Harry with energy, for Harry to pause, narrowing his gaze. "Really gonna hurt me, Ramon?" Harry stepped forward, his tone seething malice, "You don't have it in you. You're too _good._ Too much conscience, always holding you back. Makes you weak. It's why you're so easy to manipulate. Why you think this thing with us is real. You're pathetic."

Cisco hadn't been able to help the instant burning in his eyes, the way his voice cracked when he talked. "This isn't you, Harry. Just snap out of it!" He blurted. But Harry smiled. And it was altogether terrible and cold.

"It really is me, Ramon." And with that Harry raised his weapon, and Cisco let his power loose, sending the man he loved flying hard into a wall. A moment later, Harry came-to, head bruised, a concussion, confusion in his eyes. Then fear. Then anger and grief as it dawned on him what he'd done. What Hacker had made him do.

That had been nearly three weeks ago.

They'd eventually caught Hacker, but Harry distanced himself from everyone and everything as much as humanly possibly since. He barely talked to anyone. Only appeared when they needed his help with a meta. No longer came back to Cisco's place. Harry Wells had turned into a self-loathing ghost. And Cisco Ramon missed him more than he could get Harry to realize. It wasn't for a lack of trying, of course. He tried every damn day. Tried to get Harry to listen or stay in one place long enough to have a real conversation. Hell, he'd done just about everything except skywriting at this point. They'd all tried. Jesse, Caitlin, Barry. Everyone.

But Harry couldn't get past it.

Harry couldn't forgive himself.

Harry didn't want anyone forgiving him, either.

But that was just too damn bad.

S.T.A.R. Labs was practically a ghost town on a Sunday. Unless metas were running rampant, Barry, Caitlin, Jesse and usually Cisco gave the building a wide berth. So the only ghost haunting the halls was usually Harry. Except for today. Today, Cisco had plans. He'd called Harry down to one of the cells in the pipeline, saying he needed help fixing the hydraulics in the door. But as soon as Harry was inside, Cisco sealed him in. No way in hell he could avoid him now.

"Ramon." One word, angry and flat, echoing oddly through the speaker. "Open the door." He ordered, brows furrowed, lips thin, the lines on his face set in frustration. Harry didn't like being cornered. And Cisco was beyond caring.

"Nope. Not until you listen." Cisco said, leaning against the metal braces to the left of the cell. He gave Harry a pleasant little smile, but all Harry did was ball his hands into fists.

"We've been through this. There's nothing to talk about." Harry growled out. Cisco rolled his eyes.

"Um, no. WE have not been through anything. Because YOU keep avoiding me." Ramon said, then motioned to Harry, "This was the only way to get you to stay put so we can." He smirked lightly. "Actually, I’m surprised you fell for it."

"Ramon!" Harry practically yelled, smacking the carbine barrier with one hand. Cisco jumped a little, brow raised. "Let me out. Now."

"No." Cisco crossed his arms over his chest. "You're gonna stand there, and you're gonna listen whether you like it or not." Harry practically sneered, then. And Cisco swallowed. _God, I hope this was a good idea._ He stepped toward the carbine, peering at Harry without blinking. "You are the smartest dumb guy I have ever known, ya know that? There is not a single person here who blames you for what happened. It was Hacker, man. Not you. None of it was you. You don't think we see that?" Harry shook his head at Cisco's words, then ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

"Except you don't see." Harry said then, his voice ragged and angry, but not yelling. Thank goodness for that.

"Don't see... what?" Cisco prodded. And Harry gave him a sideways glance before turning and tearing his eyes away, planting his hands on his hips.

"It was me. All of it." He cleared his throat a little, staring down at the cell floor. "She may have dragged it out of me, but it was there to begin with. Still is." He looked back at Cisco then, and the complete remorse on his face and in his eyes made Ramon's heart skip a few terrible beats. "I told you before, Ramon. I'm not a good man."

"Wait..." Cisco found his voice sounding far too delicate, but he kept going. "You're saying that... what you said, before I whammed you, that was..." he couldn't even finish the sentence. Harry met his gaze, and all Cisco saw was pain. Real, terrible, raw. Ramon grit his teeth and shook his head. "No. I don't believe that. Hacker may have dragged out your asshole side, but what you said wasn't the truth." Harry let out a short, exasperated sound.

"My asshole side. That's what you call shooting at you, at my daughter and Caitlin? It's not that simple, Ramon." He moved toward the barrier, putting his hands up on the see-through carbon, palms flat, staring down at Cisco. "I enjoyed it." He grit his teeth momentarily. "I enjoyed making you afraid, hurting you..." he took in a sharp breath and let it out quickly, "It was only a few minutes, but I..." he pressed his lips together, "I wanted more of it. And I try so hard not to sleep now, because the moment I close my eyes, it's there. I can see it, all over again, like a movie on repeat. I can feel it. And as much as I hate it now, the me in that moment... didn't."

Cisco swallowed hard. He hadn't known that part of it. And it unsettled him, a whole lot more than it should have. Because he _knows_ Harry. He knows the man would never have done anything like that or said those things in a million years if it hadn't been for Hacker. But still... hearing Harry explain it, the turmoil on the older man's face, it made Cisco wary. And Harry could see it. He nodded quietly, then let his hands fall.

"You get it now." He said. "Why this," he motioned between them, "Has to be over. I would rather die than hurt you or Jesse or anyone. But for now, keeping my distance is the best I can do."

And... Cisco's jaw dropped. Had Harry just called it quits on them? Cisco blinked, eyes stinging again, lips settling into a frown.

"No, you don't get to do that!" He blurted, then nearly punched the release button. The doors opened, giving him full access to Harry. Who he hit right in the chest, though not really to hurt him. "You don't get to break up with me because you're a little messed up in the head!" Ramon practically yelled. Harry's face was sober, solemn.

"A little?" He sighed out. "More than a little, I'd say."

"So what?" Cisco glared, "We're all messed up. Shit, we have to be to do this job. We all get beat up and pushed around and messed with. But you don't see any of us just giving up and calling it a day. What gives you the right?!" He demanded, unable to stop the tears from falling at that point. His emotions felt exposed and far too raw. Harry was still for a moment, then lifted a hand, a rough thumb smoothing away one of Cisco's tears.

"I'm not giving up. I'm trying to protect you. All of you." Harry's hand fell.

"From what, Harry?!" Cisco demanded, throwing his hands up in frustration. "Hacker's locked up. She can't scramble your brains again. And I already knew you could be a dick before we even started this. You can't protect me from yourself because I don't want you to." He stepped right into Harry's space then, grabbing him roughly by the shirt, balling the material in his fists. "You spend so much time drinking up guilt you don't deserve, and it's infuriating!" He practically shook Harry, and the taller man let him. "You really want to protect me? Then stop blaming yourself. And come back!" He nearly cried, a choked sob escaping his throat. "Just... come back to me, man." He suddenly felt all the fight just go out of him, and flopped his head forward, pressing it to Harry's warm chest, still gripping his shirt but loosely now. Harry didn't move. Not at first.

But then his hands came up and peeled Cisco's hands away before stepping back, putting distance between them. When Cisco looked at him, he saw unshed tears in Harry's eyes. "I can't. Before, when I told you that you deserved better, Ramon, I was right. The metas will always be my fault, whether it's on my Earth or here. Anyone getting hurt by them is my fault. I can't fix it here. I'm limited by the restraints left behind by Thawne. But I can take responsibility. I can fix things where I started. _I haven't paid for what I've done._ " He let Cisco's hands go. "I thought when we closed the breaches, I could just forget about everything I've done. But I can't. What I can do... is go back." Harry watched the painful realization take hold on Cisco's face, and he let out a tired sigh. "Being a part of this team, being with you? It's... changed me. Taught me the wrong in everything I thought had been right. And now, I have to take responsibility for... for who I was. I'm going back to Earth-2 in the morning. Jesse is coming with me. We made the decision this afternoon." And without another word, a single tear falling from each of his crystal blue eyes, he stepped past Cisco and left. He was out of sight before Ramon finally found the will to turn around, crying, a hand tangled in his hair.

Had this really just happened?

This... this wasn't what was supposed to happen.

He was supposed to be marrying Harry. Supposed to be happy with Harry. Supposed to live out the rest of his crazy life with Harry.

But instead...

Instead Cisco was sitting down on the cell floor, silently crying, staring wordlessly out at the pipeline. Instead, he was devastated, his heart was broken. And instead of living their version of happily ever after, the only person in the multiverse that Cisco Ramon wanted to be with was walking away...


	6. Certain Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Months go by and Cisco has almost convinced himself to move on. But sometimes, Fate has plans all its own...

_'To think that it took this disaster to make me see what it really means to do the right thing for the right reasons... I was such a fool before. I thought I could outrun the past. But it will always catch up with me and hurt the people I love. The man I love. I'm not good enough for him. I'm convinced of this. Convinced that one way or another, I'll end up hurting him, repeatedly. Leaving to fix my mistakes, and leaving him behind, means... I only get to hurt him one more time...'_ \- Harry Wells

* * *

Cisco was staring at his iPod, the little screen black but the music piping through the blue tooth speakers on his entertainment center.

He was halfway through his salami overload sandwich when shuffle switched the music to a song he'd completely forgotten he had on there. A song he'd only put on there because it summed up how he felt about Harry to a literal T. It made him freeze in place, sandwich forgotten as he willed the iPod to shut off but couldn't make himself move to do anything about its lack of compliance.

_'Something about you... it's like an addiction, hit me with your best shot, honey. I've got no reason to doubt you. Cause certain things hurt and you're my only virtue. And I'm virtually yours. (And you keep coming back, coming back again. Keep running round, running round, running round my head.) And there's certain things that I adore. And there's certain things that I ignore. But I'm certain that I'm yours. Certain that I'm yours. Certain that I'm yours...'_

Cisco felt every fiber of his being just run hot as he actively fought the lump in his throat. He finally got his hands to move, but he couldn't push himself up from his tiny two-seater table. He grit his teeth, practically praying for the music to stop. But it just kept going, almost in rhythm with his aching heart.

_'There's something about you. It's when you get angry, you have me at your mercy. And you're like a shoulder to turn to, cause certain things burn just when we're hanging on for dear life. We held on so tight. (And you keep coming back, coming back again. Keep running round, running round, running round my head.) And there's certain things that I adore. And there's certain things that I ignore. But I'm certain that I'm yours. Certain that I'm yours. Certain that I'm yours...'_

That was it, he couldn't take anymore. He was up and out of his seat, against his body's will, and practically running into his living room area, slamming the button on the iPod dock to shut it off, just as Caitlin walked in. "Ya know, I don't think it's going to fight back." She said with a smirk, watching him as she closed the door behind her.

"You've obviously never seen any of the TransFormers movies." He said, satisfied at the sudden lack of song lyrics assaulting his less than strong fortitude. He smirked lightly as he looked at her, watching her take her jacket off. "Which, ya know is probably not a bad thing. The first one was the only good one out of all of them." He wandered over to her, grinning more when he saw the bag in her hand. "OOH! Goody, goody!" She chuckled and held the bag out to him. "Tell me you remembered the gummy worms." He said, opening it and rifling through the horde of junk food she'd brought for movie night.

In the last three months, Cisco had gotten very good at distracting himself. He'd had to. When Harry first left, thinking about him took so much out of him. It exhausted Cisco to the point of madness. And he knew, one way or another, he had to move on. To let Harry go. That was so much easier said than done, considering he kept finding reasons to hold on a little while longer. Like one of Harry's sweaters under the bed. Or a half-finished project Harry had started in the lab. Or a song on Cisco's iPod, all dooming him to failure. So maybe he couldn't forget. Maybe he couldn't quite let go, yet. But he could distract himself. And he could let the people around him help.

People like Caitlin, who he was eternally grateful for. She was the one who picked up the phone at three o'clock in the morning to talk to him when he couldn't sleep. She was the one who showed up with all the right junk food for movie night. She was the one who reminded him that there was no expiration date on a broken heart. _'Take all the time you need, Cisco. Really. It hurts... until it doesn't.'_ How that woman had gotten so wise at such a young age was beyond Cisco.

"Of course I remembered." She nudged him, "I always remember." And just then, her phone went off. "One sec..." She muttered, reaching into the back pocket of her jeans and pulling out her phone. "It's Barry." She said nonchalantly, then answered the phone. "Hi Barry... wait... what?!" Her tone changed so quick, the look on her face slightly shocked. "When?!" She demanded, reaching out and grabbing Cisco's arm so tight that he froze in place, staring at her in confusion. "Get him on a gurney, we're on our way." She hung up, and Cisco lowered the bag.

"Caitlin..." he said her name cautiously. He did not like the look on her face. Not at all. And he got the answer for it with very little detail. All Barry had told her was that Jesse had rushed Harry through the breach, and he wasn't moving. _Harry._ Harry? God. Cisco dropped the bag, felt his face blanch, felt his heart shudder, felt his mouth go dry. A moment later, they were out the door and speeding across the city for S.T.A.R. Labs.

"What happened?" Caitlin demanded as she bounded into the med lab shortly after, Cisco hot on her heels. Jesse was standing at her father's side, hugging herself, worry painted all over her face, tear stains on her cheeks. Barry had managed to hook Harry up to a heart monitor and an IV. Basic things, but helpful. Cisco stopped halfway in the room, seeing Harry just lying there. His skin was impossibly pale, almost gray. But other than that, he looked the same. Same clothes, same hair, same hands. Same Harry.

"We've been tracking a meta for days. She calls herself Red Widow. She robs jewelry stores. Killed four people. Dad figured out her pattern and was able to get her next targets protected by police and special security. Somehow, she found out. She must have come after him while I was gone because when I got back, he was on the floor and his lab was trashed. And he had this..." Jesse explained, moving forward and lifting Harry's shirt slightly up his stomach. On his right side was an eraser sized puncture wound. And all around it was dark, green and veiny skin. "It's some sort of spider venom, but we've never seen anything like it. It's killed everyone she's injected it with." Panic began to settle into her shaken voice. "We were working on an anti-venom when I had to go to a train fire." She reached into her pocket, pulling out a thumb drive. "I don't know how much farther he got. Please, Caitlin... I didn't know where else to go, you have to help him!" She practically grabbed Caitlin's hand, pushing the drive into her palm. Jesse sounded so desperate, so worried, Cisco's heart broke at the sound of it.

"I will, Jesse. I promise. Okay? Don't worry." Caitlin, ever thoughtful, motioned to Barry. "Why don't you go with Barry for now, get him up to speed on Red Widow. Cisco and I will look after your Dad." It seemed like Jesse was about to protest. But Barry cut in.

"Your Dad wouldn't want you standing around worrying about him. So..." He gave her his most determined look, the kind he got when he was hell bent on catching the bad guy, "Whataya say Jesse Quick and the Flash make Widow pay? And let the professionals take care of Harry." For a moment, Jesse just stared down at her unconscious father. Then nodded, something changing in her expression as she ran her fingers through his hair and kissed his forehead.

"Hang on, Daddy." She whispered, then she and Barry left. Caitlin went straight to work, taking blood samples, giving Harry medication to stabilize him, cleaning the puncture wound. And Cisco... well, he hadn't budged. Not even a little. He thought, if he ever saw Harry again, he'd be angry. Cisco thought he'd be so mad he'd probably beat the crap out of Harry. But looking at him now, all that anger, all that grief just disintegrated. And became replaced with longing and fear.

Being angry at Harry had been easier than hurting.

But deep down, he knew that Harry had left because of who he was. Doing the right thing for the right reasons had never come easy for Harry Wells. It just so happened that when he finally figured out what one of those right things was, it meant leaving Cisco behind. Maybe that was what Cisco had really been angry at. That he understood. And because of that, he couldn't have hated Harry, no matter how much he'd wanted to. Hell, seeing him now, Cisco knew without a doubt that he hadn't managed to move on at all. Because Harry, even looking half dead, was still Harry. And Cisco was still completely, permanently in love with him. No denying it. No fighting it.

"Once the medication gets in his system," Caitlin's voice broke through his thoughts, "He might wake up. But he'll most likely be delirious." She moved around the gurney, tossing her latex gloves into the trash before grabbing the thumb drive off the tray she'd set it on. "I need to look at this data and compare it to Harry's blood samples. But if he wakes up, Cisco... he shouldn't be alone." Cisco nodded numbly in response, waiting till Caitlin smiled sadly at him and left the room before he pushed himself forward. The closer he got, however, the easier it became. Till he was directly at Harry's side and he'd taken his strong hand without thinking.

About an hour went by. Caitlin was hard at work trying to synthesize an anti-venom. Apparently, Harry had gotten pretty far in the process but had needed a freshly tainted blood sample to complete it. As for Jesse and Barry, they'd decided to head back to Earth-2, to stop Red Widow. It had been hard for Jesse to leave, tears running down her cheeks as she tried to be strong. But Cisco could understand her fear, especially since everyone else Widow had stung had died. Still, Jesse mustered her courage and went anyway. Harry would have been furious. And proud.

When Harry finally opened his eyes, they were blood shot. He was running a fever by that point. And though his skin had regained some of its color, he was still very much in trouble. Cisco was sitting at his side, practically hugging Harry's hand and arm against his chest, his chair scooted as close to the gurney as he could possibly get it. When he saw Harry blink, those damn bluer than blues staring hazily up at the ceiling, Cisco lost the ability to breathe.

For a long moment, nothing happened. Harry just laid there, until confusion took over his gaze and expression. His brows furrowed lightly, and his free hand came to his side, gingerly pressing against the still exposed puncture wound. "Red..." He muttered, then froze, slowly turning his head toward Cisco, apparently realizing someone was there, holding his hand. And he blinked. Slowly, bewildered. "I'm... not..." he couldn't seem to form a complete sentence. And Cisco saw a flash of something very familiar in Harry's gaze. Frustration. It made Cisco let out a small, involuntary sound before he cracked a light smile.

"It's okay, Harry. Jesse found you, brought you back ho-... back to Earth-1. After Red Widow attacked you." Cisco attempted to explain. And he could see the information was getting in, but it was like Harry couldn't figure out what it meant. Harry squeezed his eyes shut, the hand Cisco was holding became tense, Harry's long fingers curling into Cisco's.

"Ramon... you're..." he opened his eyes, a tear trailing out of his left eye, "Here." The last word was said as a whisper. But before Cisco could respond, the tension in Harry's hand spread. To everything. Every part of Harry. And in a split second, Harry started having a seizure.

"CAITLIN!" Cisco yelled instantly, standing up so fast that his chair toppled over. The sight of Harry flailing and twitching uncontrollably on the gurney, his eyes rolling back, was too much. A sob escaped Cisco's throat as Caitlin ran in, a syringe already in her hand as she went. "What do we do?!" He choked out, still clinging to Harry's hand.

Caitlin didn't mince words, didn't waste time. She injected the syringe, which was full of a strange blue fluid, into Harry's IV, then went for the cabinet and pulled out some other tiny bottle of clear liquid, bringing it over and filling a fresh syringe with it. That, too, she gave to Harry. Then, following her lead, Cisco helped her hold Harry down. Till the seizure passed, and Harry's vitals leveled out. Harry's skin was beaded in sweat, and he was unconscious again. "What..." Cisco swallowed, slowly taking his hands off of Harry's torso, "What'd you give him?" Caitlin, ever the doctor, grabbed some tape to make sure the IV was secure after all of Harry's thrashing.

"Anti-seizure medication... and the anti-venom." She responded, letting out a quick breath and smiling at Cisco warmly. "He's gonna be okay, Cisco." She nearly whispered. And just like that, Cisco barked a laugh.

"You're sure?!" He practically demanded, unable to stop the grin on his face. Caitlin laughed.

"Yeah. I mean, we'll have to keep a close eye on him, make sure his vitals don't fluctuate. But in an hour or so, he should be out of the woods. He and Jesse had done most of the legwork on the anti-venom. Making it was a lot quicker because of that." Caitlin pressed the last piece of tape over the tube and then suddenly found herself hoisted in the air as Cisco practically engulfed her in a bear hug.

A few minutes later, after the roller coaster ride of emotions had come to a stop, Cisco was once again sitting at Harry's side, holding his hand. He no longer cared about anything that had happened. Didn't care that Harry had broken his heart, even if it had been for a good reason. He didn't care that he hadn't seen or heard from Harry for three months. Because Harry was alive, dammit. His Harry was alive.

"And there's certain things that I adore," Cisco began to sing very softly, almost whispering, reaching up and stroking Harry's tumultuous hair in the otherwise quiet, reveling in the feel of it beneath his fingers, a feel he remembered so well, "And there's certain things that I ignore. But I'm certain that I'm yours..." Yeah, Harry was alive. And for right now, that's all that mattered.


	7. Words Fall Short

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is on the mend. And Jesse has plans for both of their futures. Will Harry agree? And will Cisco be a part of his final decision?

"No, Dad." Cisco heard Jesse say. He didn't really like eavesdropping, but since Harry had fully woken and been able to understand the situation, Cisco had been keeping a distance... without keeping a distance. He wasn't quite sure Harry wanted to really be around him. So Cisco had taken to hovering outside the medlab, just out of sight, but not quite out of earshot.

Harry and Jesse'd had a heck of an argument after she and Barry explained how they'd gone after Red Widow. They'd managed to subdue her and get her locked up so she couldn't hurt anyone else. But Harry, being the overprotective father that he was, was none too happy about his daughter going up against that monster of a woman. Jesse, like the champ she was, barely let her father's anger phase her. He was too weak to do much more than grump at her at the time, anyway. Only now was he really getting his strength back. And even that was dodgy.

"Not happening." Harry responded. But there was something about his tone that told Cisco Harry's heart wasn't completely in the argument. More like torn between one side and the other.

"Look, Dad, I get it... I do. But I've been shadowing you for months. And I grew up around S.T.A.R. Labs. I have more than enough degrees. And being your daughter makes me more than qualified. I can run the business in my sleep." She urged. "You've done enough. You've practically killed yourself going after metas since we got back there, and there hasn't been a day that's gone by that you haven't been relentlessly sad." She paused, things quiet for a moment. There was kindness in her tone when she spoke again. "You think I didn't see it, Dad? You miss your home. Your _real_ home. And everyone in it. Especially..." She didn't say it. But to his great surprise, Harry did.

"Ramon." It was so soft, it was almost a whisper. But Cisco still heard it, clear as day. He almost fell completely sideways from where he was standing against the wall listening. He inwardly kicked himself, flattening his back against the wall and planting a hand over his own mouth. "No... I can't. After what happened... he's not going to want anything to do with me."

"That's not true. I talked to him. He understands every reason why you left, why you went back to Earth-2. And yeah, it hurt like hell. It hurt both of you. But if he wanted nothing to do with you, do you really think he would have sat at your bedside like he did?" Jesse said softly, always so quick. But Harry cleared his throat a little. Cisco heard his boots hitting the floor, and then his pacing easily back and forth.

"What would I even say?" Harry asked, "And what about you, Jesse? I can't just abandon you. You're my daughter." He explained. And Jesse sighed.

"And I always will be." Jesse's shoes hit the floor and Harry stopped pacing. "I can do this. You know I can. I can be Jesse Quick and handle S.T.A.R. Labs." Silence again, then Jesse sighing once more. "What if I promised to come to you the moment I have a problem I can't handle?" There was humor in her voice, but Cisco knew Jesse would keep her promise. "We're really not going to be so far away from each other. It'll be like... you just moved to the next city over."

"The next universe over." Harry said flatly. Cisco had to smile a little at that, dropping his hand from his mouth. "How can you be so sure that things could ever go back to normal with Cisco?" Ugh, Harry used his first name. Every rare time that Cisco had heard him do that, it sent peace fluttering through his head. Now was no different.

"Because you love him. You never stopped, and you've missed him so much that it's practically broken you." Cisco heard Jesse step forward, probably to hug Harry in that way of hers that could always soothe the tall, grumpy beast. "And I think, if maybe you two start over, you'll see what I already have." Jesse said, and Cisco could almost picture what had to be confusion on Harry's face. Because Cisco felt the confusion, too. "He still loves you, too."

Their conversation went on for a while longer, but Cisco peeled himself away from his eavesdropping. Mostly because his heart was like a marching band and he was sure someone was going to hear it. Could this be real? Would Harry stay? Did... did he _want_ Harry to stay? All questions that plagued him as the day ended, all without seeing Harry again, and he made his way home. Harry was still not strong enough to really go far. Which was almost a comforting thought. It meant Cisco could go see him anytime he finally got up the courage to. But it became suddenly and shockingly apparent the moment he stepped off the elevator toward his apartment that he wasn't going to have the chance to build up any courage. Because standing there, in front of his door, was Harry.

The taller man had his hands in his pockets, his baseball hat shoved into the back pocket of his jeans, peeking out behind him. And he was staring. Right at Cisco. His face was calm, his stature was what it had always ever been. And despite the tired circles beneath them, Harry's eyes were still the brilliant, beautiful blues that Cisco loved.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He blurted out, moving straight toward Harry more out of worry than anything else now. "Caitlin's gonna throw a fit if she knows you left!" He reached out and gripped Harry's arm without thinking, stuck more on the fact that the man should have been resting instead of making his way half across town to Cisco's apartment. "Wait..." Cisco suddenly dropped his hand, his palms suddenly feeling sweaty, his heart racing instantly, eyes going wide. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." Harry responded easily. His voice was a little more grated than usual, but it had been that way since he'd first woken up. "I just..." he cleared his throat a little, shifting nervously on his feet. "I wanted to talk to you. Alone." He motioned to the door behind him. "I still have the key, but I didn't think you'd want me to go in. Without asking." He muttered almost shyly. Huh. This was a whole new side to Harry that Cisco had never seen before.

"You sure you're okay?" Cisco raised a brow, bringing a palm up to flatten on Harry's forehead. And of course, thankfully, Harry frowned and swatted Cisco's hand away. There was the Harry that Cisco knew.

"I'm fine, Ramon." He grumped out. But Cisco smiled. He just had to. It all felt too wonderfully, painfully familiar. "Can we talk or not?" Cisco narrowed his eyes on Harry, but finally nodded and fished his keys out of his jacket pocket.

"We can talk. But if I don't at least make you lay down, Caitlin's gonna beat me. And not in the fun way." He quipped, catching Harry trying not to roll his eyes as he unlocked the door. The apartment hadn't changed since Harry last saw it. In fact, he still had a stash of Harry's clothes here. Even a toothbrush. Though he was pretty sure that wasn't why Harry had managed his way there. Once the door was closed and Cisco had taken off his jacket and bag, he turned to see Harry had wandered near the couch, the fingers of one hand on the back of it, his eyes averted to the ground.

"Harry..."

"Ramon..."

They'd both spoken each other's names at the same time. But before Cisco could try again, Harry stepped forward. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Harry blurted out. "For everything I did, for what I said." Harry shook his head, stopping dead in his tracks and raising both hands, clasping them behind his own head as though he was physically keeping himself away from Cisco. "I know... I know words will never make up for it, that you have every right to hate me, Ramon. But if all I ever get from you again is forgiveness, I can live with that." Harry closed his eyes, a deep and struggling sigh escaping. "I'm not good at this."

And then silence. Harry let his hands fall in defeat, his eyes opening only to stare at the floor again, downcast. Cisco swallowed and took in a slow breath. "That's all you want... forgiveness?" He asked, letting his voice fill the space between them. Harry's eyes slowly rose to Cisco's face.

"Y-" He started, but stopped, then shook his head once, firmly. "No." And the look. God... the longing, the need, the remorse, the guilt, the affection, the hunger, the love. It was like a tornado picked up all the emotions Harry had to offer and tossed them around in Harry's eyes. Cisco swallowed, his heart a suddenly sentient thing rampaging in his ribcage, and when he spoke it was more like a whisper than anything else.

"What else do you want?" He asked, feeling completely in awe and subdued by how Harry was looking at him. He knew damn well that Harry wasn't good with this sort of thing. That words often failed him. That the important things he should say never really came out right. Which was why it only half surprised him when Harry was suddenly moving. What did really surprise Cisco, however, was Harry's hands on Cisco's waist, firm and familiar, pulling Cisco directly against Harry's frame.

"You." Harry whispered roughly, their faces only a bare few inches apart. But he didn't close the distance. He waited, eyes searching, needing, wanting... but cautious. And Cisco nodded. He had to. Because the truth was, he wanted Harry, too. In every frustrating and wonderful way he could. Wordlessly, he was the one who moved the rest of the way, mouth finding Harry's eagerly. And it was like electricity. If it was possible, sparks would have flown. Harry's mouth was exactly as Cisco remembered. Warm, grounded, perfect. And he still tasted so damn wonderful. The kiss was everything familiar, and somehow brand new. All the eagerness of their very first kiss together seemed to replay itself till they both had to come up for air, Harry practically pinning Cisco to the door, at some point having backed them both up. As they caught their breath, just staring at each other, Harry lifted a hand and gently moved the wayward strands of Cisco's hair out of the way. "I am... so very sorry, Cisco." He whispered. "I want to come home. I want to try this again. If you'll... if..." he couldn't even get it out. Cisco could see the struggle, the pain in his eyes. And he reached up, taking Harry's face in his hands.

"I forgive you, Harry. I think I did right from the start." He let out a sigh he hadn't realized had settled deep in his lungs. "I've just... I've missed you, so much..." he whispered back, lips hovering so close. And again, he closed that distance. It was all so perfect. Everything he remembered. The taste of Harry, the smell of his aftershave, the feel of his rough hands. It made Cisco's head spin. Of anyone he had ever dated or had a relationship with, Harry was the only one Cisco had ever found himself hopelessly addicted to. Completely. And none of that addiction had subsided apparently, because suddenly Cisco was turning Harry around, nearly shoving him into the door a moment later. The entire earlier idea of Harry taking it easy completely went poof out of Cisco's mind, and apparently Harry was alright with that. Because when Cisco next met his gaze, it was all heat. All fire. All promises of what they hadn't shared with each other in far too long.

With urgent, needy hands, they stripped one another on the way to the bedroom. Mouths searched and tasted and nipped at flesh. Limbs enfolded bodies. Throats moaned out in burning need. Pillows fell to the floor. Blankets got rumpled up. Normally, it was Harry who ended up on top after all the foreplay and teasing was done. But Cisco was reminded of how close Harry had been to death only a few days before, by the graying bruise on Harry's abdomen. He pressed Harry into the bed, on his back, straddling him, his hair over their faces as they kissed each other into a sound haze.

Only when he was sure that Harry didn't plan on sitting up or taking control did Cisco break the hold of their mouths. He rose up, gliding a hand down Harry's firm chest, down his stomach, gripping both of their dicks together and giving a few combined swift pumps that made them both gasp. "Don't... move." Cisco breathed out, reaching across the bed for the bedside table drawer. Harry steadied him with his hands on Cisco's bare thighs, watching. Smiling. Remembering. Those had been words Harry had used the very first time, when Harry had left Cisco lying naked on the Cortex floor to scrounge up some lube.

When Cisco settled back, popping the lid on his own supply of KY, he grinned at Harry. And for a moment, they both just laughed at each other. It was just so wonderful, the strange feeling that somehow, they'd come full circle. Harry shook his head lightly, still smiling warmly, reaching up and tracing the line of Cisco's jaw. "I love you, Cisco Ramon." Harry said. And damn. Cisco's face sobered, and he let out a breath.

"I love you, too, Harrison Wells." It was corny. It was silly. It was _perfect._ "Now hold still."

"Pushy." Harry commented, letting his hand fall back to Cisco's thigh. And he simply watched, a possessive stare on his face, as Cisco upended the lube onto Harry's dick. He watched Harry's chest rise and fall as the cool liquid hit the tip and rolled over the length of him. Then he set the bottle aside, gripping Harry firmly, the slick liquid squishing slightly as he began to pump Harry's length over and over. He loved this, watching the effect it had on Harry. The way Harry would go still, eyes closing, mouth ever so slightly open, chest filling with and releasing air in slow bursts. It was a moment he'd played repeatedly in his mind hundreds of times. Getting to see it again, to feel it, was so much better. Even better when he rose up on his legs, and positioned Harry in just the right spot, Harry's tip pressing directly into Cisco's hole. He hadn't been stretched yet, which was probably why Harry's eyes flew open and he gripped Cisco's thigh harder. He might have said something in protest, for Cisco's benefit, but Cisco didn't give him the chance. He just let himself lower, slowly. And the look on Harry's face then told Cisco everything.

"You..." Cisco panted out, moving inch by slow inch, "Are going to lay here..." He continued, further, "And relax." Until Harry was finally sheathed completely inside of Cisco, Harry's head back, his long neck exposed and beaded in sweat, the muscles in his stomach twitching at the feel of Cisco's hot, tight insides. They both breathed rapidly for a moment, Cisco letting himself get used to Harry's impossible size. Or maybe it just felt impossible because he hadn't really prepared himself for this. But good... yes, it was so fucking good. The pressure, the slight twitch of Harry's cock inside of him, goddamn.

"Relax, he says..." Harry muttered sarcastically, his voice strained with need, eyes still closed.

"Yeah. Ya know..." Cisco, still breathing slightly labored from what he'd done, moved his hands up, pressed his palms into Harry's chest. "Relax." He breathed out, and simply began moving. He slid Harry in and out of himself slowly at first, letting a natural rhythm build up. A growl escaped Harry's mouth, his teeth gritting.

"Ramon... gah..." Harry groaned out. And Cisco remembered that hiss. It was a good sound. Harry only ever did that when he was enjoying it. It made Cisco crack a smile. Eventually, that pace picked up. A lot. Cisco felt his muscles protesting, felt a painful pressure all his own beginning to build up. He even let out a little whine when his groin began to ache. Harry responded perfectly, one of his hands rifling around for the lube and eventually pouring some onto Cisco's dick. A moment later, Harry had him firmly gripped, pumping with each shift of Cisco's hips. It wasn't long before he was moaning, not at all afraid to be noisy. He'd always been kind of loud during sex. And Harry made it damn near impossible to be quiet, even when he was just lying there and pumping Cisco's cock. Not to mention Harry's hardness inside of him, just the right size and length to hit all the right things, made Cisco completely unwilling to even try to shut up. Sorry, neighbors.

He picked up the pace even more, and so did Harry. It was so intense, every nerve ending responding, every muscle twitching, their bodies beaded with sweat as they panted along with their ministrations of each other. There was just so much physical sensation that Cisco was coming before he had a chance to realize it. "F-fuck... Harry!" He cried out his lover's name, his head going back, fingers digging into Harry's chest as Harry pumped him through it, Cisco's cum painting Harry's stomach in splotches. And Harry, wonderful Harry, waited till Cisco composed himself before he gripped Cisco's hips and helped Cisco find a rhythm again. Which, honestly, Cisco had no problem doing. He may have already spent himself, but Harry still felt too damn good inside of him for him to simply stop now. He watched the control on Harry's face, the tension in his jaw, the insatiable hunger in his eyes. "Damn..." Cisco whispered and sped up. Harry's hands gripped him tighter, and before long, Harry was coming. He held Cisco down firmly, sheathing himself completely inside as his groin pulsed and he too spent himself. Ramon watched Harry's eyes close, his chest heave, his lips quiver. And eventually, a slow calm overtake him as his hands relaxed and his orgasm passed.

They stayed like that for a while, even after Harry opened his eyes. They just stared at each other in the quiet, Harry's hands relaxed on Cisco's thighs as he stroked his skin with his thumbs. Cisco was doing the same to Harry's sides, below his ribs, mindful of the bruise and puncture wound. There was such a calm around them, an unexpected affirmation of everything they still felt. Yeah, it had been a really, splendidly physical reunion. But it was more than that. It was acceptance, forgiveness, a new beginning with familiar feelings. It was moving on and moving forward. It was being willing to understand, to take all the flaws, all the imperfections, all the mistakes. It was the dark and brooding Harry Wells coming home to the spirited and softhearted Cisco Ramon.

There had always been something about them. From the moment he'd first met Harry, despite how much he'd fought it, part of him had always known that this was exactly how it was supposed to be: the two of them, together. They may never be a perfect match. They might never make sense as a couple to the rest of the multiverse. But in that moment, and just about every moment before, they were perfect. For each other, to each other. And literally nothing else could matter more to either of them. Sappy, yes. But real.

Eventually, Cisco dragged Harry into the shower.

Even though their make-up session had been glorious and the sort of thing that would make a nun blush, Cisco could see that Harry was beat. Even though Cisco had tried to do most of the 'work,' Harry was a little wobbly on his feet, and didn't even fight Cisco when he used a loofa to wash him as they shared the shower. He helped Harry get into some sweatpants, got into his own, then fixed the covers and pillows on the bed before letting Harry lay down. The taller man pretty much collapsed onto his back, only wincing a little before letting out a deep sigh. "Maybe we shouldn't have been so vigorous." Cisco remarked, pulling the covers up over both of them. Harry practically glared at him.

"You take that back." He said firmly, "And come here." Cisco laughed lightly. Hell, everything about Cisco was light in that moment. His head, his heart, his body. All of him.

"Alright, my bad." Cisco conceded, scooting in close to Harry, laying his head on the taller man's shoulder as Harry's arms snaked around him, holding him warmly. "God... I missed this." He muttered, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slow, stretching his arm over Harry's ribs. "I missed you." He added then, not caring how mushy it sounded. Harry sighed gently, stroking Cisco's back with one hand in soothing motions.

"I missed you, too. More than you know." Harry clarified. Cisco found himself smiling as he let his whole body relax, just enjoying the feel of Harry's body and touch.

"So..." he started after a moment, "How is this going to work?" He asked, "Ya know, with Earth-2 and here..." Harry was quiet, thinking. Then he shrugged his opposite shoulder.

"I'll probably have to go back and forth for a bit, make sure that Jesse can control my S.T.A.R. Labs legally. Technically, she's already an inherited shareholder. But a multi-billion-dollar business is a tricky thing when it comes to legalities." He explained. Cisco closed his eyes, feeling the weight of sleep beginning to creep up on him.

"You'd do that... go back and forth, I mean? Wouldn't it be easier just to stay there till it's all settled?" And Cisco could have kicked himself for saying it. He'd just gotten Harry back. He really didn't want to be apart from him again for any period of time, honestly. Harry reached over to the lamp with one hand, yanking the cord to shut off the light.

"You're right, Ramon. It would be easier. But when have I ever done things the easy way?" He remarked. And Cisco chuckled. "Go to sleep. We have an angry Snow to look forward to in the morning." Harry reminded lightly.

"Oh god, I almost forgot about that." Cisco mumbled. And, as if she'd heard them talking from all the way across town, Cisco's cell phone went off in the hallway where his pants had been discarded, the ringtone he used for Caitlin echoing down the hall. And just like that, he and Harry laughed till the ringtone died away and they were both just too beat to do much more than sigh. Harry fell asleep first. Exhausted, and honestly, he probably should have gone back to S.T.A.R. Labs. Having sex so soon after nearly dying had probably not been the greatest idea. But Cisco knew Harry well enough to know that it would take an act of god to get him out of Cisco's bed now.

So he listened to Harry breathing. He counted the rise and fall of his chest in the relative dark. He memorized the feel of Harry's temperature all over again. He'd bring Harry back first thing in the morning. But for now, Harry was here, with him. And that was all Cisco wanted. Selfish? Maybe. But he'd earned it. They both had. And as sleep finally pulled Cisco deep down into the first pleasant dreams he'd had in months, he had a wonderful feeling that this time, it might just last...


	8. Home, Sweet Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is becoming something normal. Or at least normal for them. And with the 'big day' just around the corner, Cisco is reminded of just how lucky both he and Harry are...

Harry was beneath the control console in the breach room, laying on his back, a pair of needle-nose pliers in one hand, the other rifling around the insides of wires and gears. His legs were bent, knees up and boots flat on the floor. He could only really be seen from the waist down from where Cisco was sitting. He had to admit, he liked the view. But he looked down at the notepad in his hand with a slow sigh, "What about flowers?" He asked, stabbing the paper with his pen and making a swirly doodle.

"Plan on having a bouquet, princess?" Harry asked, his voice echoed slightly, far too much humor in his tone. Cisco glared at Harry's knees.

"I was thinking more like boutonnieres, you ass." Cisco reprimanded, a moment later there was the sound of a tool hitting the floor and sliding as Harry shoved the pliers out from beneath the console. Then he too scooted out, wiping his hands on his thighs before getting to his feet.

"You know, Ramon, I didn't think you'd want anything fancy." He replied, tugging his sleeves up a bit higher toward his elbows. "First suits and music, now flowers." Harry set his hands on his hips, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"What'd you think a wedding would be like?" Cisco smiled slyly, setting the notepad aside. Harry shrugged once.

"With you? T-shirts and a pizza buffet." It was Harry's turn to smirk. Cisco chuckled.

"Okay, so... maybe that's my idea of a perfect date. But we're getting married, dude. I kind of want to make the most of it. Considering I don't ever plan on doing it again." He set the pen aside, too. Then stood up from his stool, bending down to pick up the discarded pliers.

"I suppose I don't see the logic in it. It's just going to be our friends and Jesse. Who are we trying to impress?" Harry stepped toward him, coming up behind him and placing his hands on Cisco's shoulders as Cisco put the tool back in the jumbo rolling toolbox. Harry squeezed Cisco's shoulders firmly, rolling his muscles in his palms. Cisco sighed comfortably.

His mother, his brother wanted nothing to do with the wedding. They'd pretty much told Cisco he was making the worst mistake of his life, being gay. His arguments that he was actually bi didn't seem to make a difference. He'd tried not to let it hurt. He'd always known his family wasn't accepting of most of his life choices. But this was his happiness he was talking about. They should have at least tried. Harry had been a great comfort after that unfortunate conversation. He'd held Cisco as he yelled out his hurt, let Cisco cry. Never once demanded that Cisco should feel any different. Just another reason why he was dead sure he wanted to marry Harry. And Harry, of course, tried his best to make it seem like no big deal. That besides their mutual friends and Jesse, there would be literally no one else Harry wanted there. Their little self-made family was good enough for him. So, Cisco decided it would be good enough for him, too.

"You know Jesse is not going to let you get married in dark shirts, boots and black jeans." Cisco replied, closing his eyes as Harry continued massaging his shoulders. Jesse, who was just an absolutely positive influence on her father, had really stepped up to the plate lately. It had been four months of Harry going back and forth between Earths till he was satisfied that Jesse could handle the bulk of things alone. It was a hard transition for him. He was so used to being in control, of being the one protecting his daughter, of being the one taking on the load of all the stress life had to offer. Actually getting to breathe for a bit, coming to terms with the fact that the most important people in his life had forgiven him for his faults, and suddenly getting to choose a life beyond paying his dues, had been damn near therapeutic for Harry. Sure, he was still his grouchy, bad-tempered and typically sarcastic self. But there was a lightness to him now, a deeply embedded sense of contentment that followed him around. And Cisco was loving every minute of that side of Harry.

"Jesse doesn't get a say." Harry sighed, smoothing his hands down Cisco's arms. "She's not the one tying the knot." Cisco chuckled, and turned, slipping his hands onto Harry's hips. The guest list, if you could call it that, was not a long one. Barry, Iris, Joe, Wally, Jesse, Oliver, Felicity, Doctor Stein and Caitlin. Doctor Stein would be officiating, thanks to the fact he was a licensed JP. So they didn't need to find anyone for that. It really wasn't going to be anything huge. Legally, the whole thing was a headache. It wasn't exactly like the legal system knew about the multiverse. And with wanted signs on both their heads in one place or another, finding a way to make it stick had been insane.

It was Doctor Stein who came through in the end, having a friend who apparently owed him a favor. He showed up one day with a forged identity for Harry. A whole background, a whole life that was completely made up. Documents, certificates, an entire paper trail to a person who didn't even exist. And the best part was, Harry didn't have to change his name. Well, not really. According to this new persona, he was 'Richard H. Wells.' Since Wells was a somewhat common name, he could keep it. The H was for, of course, Harry. And the Richard was because Harry said his real middle name started with an R but refused to tell anyone what the whole name was. Not even Cisco. When Harry was told what his new fake identity would be, he simply shrugged and said, _'Close enough.'_

Besides legally being easier now (or illegally, depending on how you viewed it), it made finding a place to get married a whole lot easier, too, that was for sure. Though, they'd decided to do it right there in the speed lab. Caitlin and Jesse apparently took over decorating duty. Harry and Cisco weren't allowed anywhere near it. And then the reception would be in the Cortex. As far as fancy went, it was so not anywhere near that. But honestly, it was perfect in Cisco's mind. S.T.A.R. Labs was kind of their home away from home. And Harry and Cisco had started this insane romance right there in the Cortex. Which was one of their favorite secrets, by the way.

They'd also decided not to change their last names once the deed was done. Harry's explanation for this was, _'I wouldn't be able to call you Ramon anymore.'_ Cisco was more than happy to comply. It would be strange not to hear 'Ramon' from Harry at least ten times a day. And Cisco honestly couldn't picture Harry having the last name 'Ramon.'

"Okay how about we compromise. I'm going to wear a suit. Because, let's face it, I'm damn sexy when I clean up." Cisco grinned at Harry, who simply narrowed his eyes and tried not to smirk. "You can wear your jeans and boots, but I at least want you to have a button up shirt and a suit jacket. You do that, and I can live with no flowers."

"Deal." Harry said with no hesitation. Then he smiled softly, "Thank you." And he leaned down, drawing Cisco in for a kiss. If there was one thing these two were good at, it was compromising. And kissing. Yeah, that, too.

"You two have a room, ya know." They heard Jesse's voice from the doorway. "Several, in fact." Harry let out a light growl before pulling away from Cisco and pulling him in for a hug. He glared over Cisco's head at his daughter, who was standing with a bright smile on her face.

"Shouldn't you be playing Martha Stuart with Snow?" Harry grumbled, but couldn't help the small tug on his lips after. Harry would always have a soft spot for his daughter. Jesse, who never really let her father's gruffness perturb her, hopped down the steps into the lab.

"We're taking a break. I wanted to know if I could steal Cisco for a few minutes." She said, still smiling. She was, from her own admission, stupidly happy that they were finally getting hitched. Cisco couldn't agree more. He felt like it had been a very long time coming. Heaven forbid any metas try to rain on their parade tomorrow, because Cisco was going to rain down holy hell if they did. He peeled himself away from Harry, who almost reluctantly let him go. Harry would never admit it out loud to anyone but Cisco, but he really was a cuddly kind of guy.

"Yeah, I could use some coffee anyway." He winked at Harry, who just shook his head and went back to the toolbox, letting them disappear without so much as a word. Once Cisco and Jesse were in the kitchen, he sat himself down on the counter, legs swinging while he waited for the pot to brew. Jesse was rifling through the fridge, eventually pulling out an apple and plopping down on the floor with her back to the wall. One thing Cisco had learned about the lady-speedster was that she was pretty much comfortable everywhere. "So what's up?" He asked, trying not to kick the cabinets beneath him with his sneakers.

"I wanted to talk to you about Dad." She said, halfway through chewing her latest bite. "Last time he was back on Earth-2, he was packing up the last of his stuff, and he found Mom's wedding ring." She turned the apple over in her hand, staring at it like it was beyond fascinating. Sometimes, her expressions mirrored her father's so damn completely. "He gave it to me. I didn't know what to say, ya know?" She looked up at Cisco, lowering her apple to her lap. "It reminded me that I don't really remember her. Beyond pictures and what little Dad has told me, I don't know anything about her. It's always just been me and Dad. He was the one who taught me how to tie my shoes, who drove me to every science event I wanted, who offered to beat all the boys who broke my heart." She smiled warmly, letting her head settle back against the wall. "It never occurred to me till I was older that he might be lonely. That he missed her. I'd never seen him date or show interest in anyone. And I figured out it was because he couldn't move on from her. She'd been the love of his life."

Cisco was quiet, taking in her words, feeling a slight lump form in his stomach. He didn't know much about Jesse's mom, either. It had been a touchy subject, at best, for Harry. Cisco knew how the two had met, how long they'd been together, and how she died. That was it. All the details in between, Harry kept close and hidden. As for any other relationships, he knew Harry had quite a few back before he met his wife. The college years had been a whirlwind for the older man. After his wife died, he'd pretty much written off romance completely. He'd have the occasional one-night stand when he had a few too many to drink, but they were rare. Cisco was his first real relationship in years. And in a big way, that made Cisco feel special, especially when Harry decided to settle down with him. Cisco hated knowing Harry had to go through the pain of losing his wife. But he was also glad to know that now he could give Harry the love he deserved.

"Anyway," She smiled a little, looking down at the apple, "All I ever really wanted was for him to be happy. And he is, Cisco." She peered back over at him seriously. "He's so happy." Her voice cracked a little, a slight touch of dew dabbled in her eyes. "I love that you two are together, that you're getting married. I never thought he'd ever let himself find someone he could get that close to again, ya know? But I'm glad he did. And I'm glad it’s you. I really... I just wanted you to know that." She wiped at one eye, just before a tear escaped. Cisco slipped off the counter then, moving to settle next to her on the floor. He reached over and gripped her hand with a smile.

"That means a lot to me. It really does." Cisco's smile was emotional. He was really touched, "I hope you know there's no replacing going on here. Right? I mean, Harry's always going to be your Dad first. I'm good with being second fiddle in the Wells' band." He winked at her and she let out a half sigh, half laugh, squeezing his hand back.

"I know. Everything has changed, for all of us in a really good way. But as much as I complain about Dad being my shadow, I think I'm really gonna miss it." She leaned a little into Cisco. The two of them had always been comfortable around each other. He liked Jesse a whole lot. She was smart and easy going, able to hold her own and not afraid to wear her heart on her sleeve. Sometimes she was all Harry, too. Sarcastic and frustrating. And sometimes, she was just the exact opposite. "Change can be good, though. I don't think I'd be half as ready for it if it wasn't for everyone here, all we've been through."

"We're good for that. We're like a more dysfunctional Scooby Gang. But damn if we don't do it looking fine." Cisco quipped, and Jesse raised both brows with a short laugh.

"Speaking of which," She took a small bite of her apple, then munched thoughtfully for a few seconds, "Did you get Dad to agree to the suit?"

"Sort of." Cisco replied, getting up and moving to the fresh coffee, to pour himself some. "Said he could wear his jeans and boots, but I wanted a suit jacket and button up shirt."

"Aw, you babied him." Jesse said, giving him a knowing look.

"I did not baby him." Cisco scoffed, turning with mug in hand. "I compromised."

"Uh huh." Jesse hadn't lost the look, if anything it got brighter. She pushed up from the floor, apple still in hand. "See, that's how I know you love him." She came over and kissed Cisco on the cheek. "Know how I know he loves you?" Cisco narrowed his eyes questioningly, and Jesse just winked. "Cause he's gonna wear the full suit. Mark my words." And with that she gave him a little wave and wandered out of the room, munching on her apple. Cisco smiled in her wake, shaking his head lightly, before sighing and taking a long sip of his coffee.

Even though it seemed like it and felt like it, Cisco knew they didn't have it all figured out. He knew Harry was going to miss his daughter like hell, and that even a fake identity wouldn't change his face. He knew they'd always be in the thick of trouble one way or another, and Harry would never completely be rid of the guilt that was so much a part of him. He also knew that there would be times that Harry would be downright terrible to live with. But Cisco also knew he could love Harry through it all. He could carry the load when Harry couldn't. He could give him a place to fall, arms to sleep in, a home to come to. Harry was really giving up a lot. His earth, his closeness to his daughter, his business, a bulk of his freedom by moving here to be with Cisco. But he never complained. He never suggested other avenues. He'd made his decision and he was sticking to it. And no one was going to change his mind. Jesse had her way of knowing their love was real, and so did Cisco. He felt it, saw it, was reminded of it every single day. It may have been a bitch of a ride to get there, but he didn't doubt the reality of Harry's affections one bit.

When Cisco wandered back to the lab, a cup of coffee in each hand, he found Harry underneath the speed canon console again. "Son of a..." he heard Harry swear, then managed to step out of the way just as a screwdriver went flying out from underneath it. It clamored across the floor loudly. But for a change, Cisco didn't chide Harry for throwing things. He grinned instead, setting the mugs down on the table and crouching near Harry's knees so he could peer under.

"Harry." Cisco got his attention, Harry lowering his arm out of the way, his fingers covered in grease and dirt, a long strip of it across his jaw.

"Ramon." Harry responded, raising a brow at him from where he laid on his back. Cisco just kept smiling.

"That's a hell of a kid you've got." Cisco said warmly. And Harry's face changed from frustrated to calm in a heartbeat. He pushed himself out from under the console, sitting with his back to the leg of the table beside it, looking at Cisco.

"Yeah, she is." He smiled affectionately at his own words. Cisco reached forward and wiped at the grease smudge on Harry's chin with his thumb.

"Tomorrow's going to be an amazing day." Cisco beamed, and Harry's smile simply widened. He reached forward with his greasy hand and ran his fingers down Cisco's face without warning.

"Yes, it will." He said, then chuckled at Cisco's response.

"Dude... you did not just do that..." Cisco frowned, wiping at his own face.

"Do what? This?" Harry moved into him then, work-dirty hands going straight for Cisco's t-shirt and hiking it up a bit to prod at his warm skin. Cisco practically squeaked, trying to get away from the greasy fingers but ended up on his butt, and then on his back. A moment later, Harry had him pinned to the floor, and Cisco had completely forgotten that he'd been finger painted in mechanical grease. The way Harry was kissing him was... well, damn amazing. He would never get over how intoxicating it always felt to be physical with the other man. When they both finally came up for air, Cisco let out a deep breath.

"You, uh... you know there are people nearby, right?" Cisco asked, raising his brows at the look in Harry's eyes. But Harry just hovered his mouth over Cisco's and sighed.

"Buzzkill." He muttered, kissing Cisco one more time, much softer, much less searching, but still ridiculously great. Then he got up, helping Cisco to his feet as he did. He could admit it, Harry had made his head spin just a little. "Let's finish fixing this thing so I can take you home." Home. A word Harry was using more and more now. Cisco grinned.

"Deal. But coffee first." He reached for the mugs and handed Harry his. Harry took it, smelling the hot liquid with a following sigh before looking Cisco up and down. The look in Harry's eyes was one Cisco knew very well now. A look of possessiveness. Not the kind that said that Harry saw Cisco as an object. But that Cisco was Harry's, and Harry's alone. And Harry knew how damn lucky he was for it.

"You look good covered in dirt." He remarked before taking a sip and setting the cup down to walk across the room and pick up the discarded screwdriver. Cisco nodded agreeably.

"I look good no matter what." He whipped his hair flippantly, and grinned. Yeah.

Harry knew how lucky he was.

But Cisco knew he was lucky, too.

Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough...


	9. Full Circle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big day has come and gone. Cisco and Harry are alone where it all began. And, for a change, life is beyond perfect. Question is... how long can forever last?

The Cortex was empty and quiet except for the sultry sounds of Etta James singing _At Last_ piping through the speakers.

Cisco was lying flat on his back in the middle of the floor, staring up at the now dimly lit ceiling, smiling lazily, lost in a perpetual state of contentment. The days laughter and calm had turned into an amazing, unforgettable evening. And though now everyone was gone, and S.T.A.R. Labs was once again empty, the memories still wandered aimlessly and happily through Cisco's pleasantly tired head.

From beginning to end, the whole day had been perfect. He and Harry had spent hours in bed. Literally. Doing nothing once they'd woken up except cuddling and talking and being somewhat ridiculous. Then they'd gone to a movie, which might not seem like a big deal. But getting Harry to sit through any science fiction movie, let alone a showing of the original Planet of the Apes, was a herculean miracle. Add stale popcorn, a giant soda and way too many Skittles, and the result was a very happy Cisco. After that, they spent a good three hours with Jesse, Barry and Caitlin playing board games, sharing memories, and laughing in Joe's living room. It couldn't have been a more perfect, lazy day. Which was exactly what the doctor ordered. The only real hard part was splitting up long enough to get ready for the wedding itself.

'Ramon.' _Harry had chided warmly, stroking his hair with one hand, holding Cisco close with the other._ 'We have to get dressed. Unless you've changed your mind about jeans and t-shirts.' _He could hear the humor in Harry's tone, the soothing rasp that eased all tension out of his form. He hugged Harry a little tighter, his face practically buried into his soon-to-be husband's chest._

'Five more minutes.' _He mumbled, his breath billowing warm against the material of Harry's shirts._ 'I'm reveling.' _He added and heard Harry chuckle lightly. He loved that sound. He'd heard it more in the last several months than he'd heard since he'd met Harry. Jesse said it was because for the first time in years, Harry was at ease. Really, truly at peace. And to think that Cisco had done that to him at least in part was everything._

'You're stalling.' _Harry finally added, gently pulling Cisco back enough so he could see his face, smoothing his hair behind his ears after._ 'Why?'

'Not having second thoughts or nothing, so don't even think it.' _Cisco smirked, but then shrugged._ 'I guess... everything's just been so perfect today, ya know? I want it to last.' _Honestly, he'd still been waiting for a meta to drop in and ruin their happy high, or for a bomb to go off somewhere, or for an anvil to drop on his head. But nothing had happened. And it was leaving him feeling slightly edgy. Harry smiled lightly at him, then kissed his forehead._

'That's the plan. Making it last.' _He slid his strong, firm hands down Cisco's arms._ 'The whole 'I do' thing sort of implies that.' _Harry met his gaze easily, the expression he wore saying he knew Cisco all too well._ 'Metas, earthquakes, multiverse nonsense and whatever else comes. This,' _He squeezed Cisco's arms gently,_ 'Is sure as hell going to last.' _Cisco couldn't help it. The smile that spread on his face was wide and joyous._

'Saying your vows already?' _He quipped, taking a small step away from Harry, whose hands fell momentarily before he crossed them over his chest and narrowed his eyes on Cisco._

'That would be cheating.' _Harry commented._ 'Think of it more as... an affirmation.' _Harry stepped forward then, reaching over and turning Cisco completely around before nudging him toward the door._ 'Now get going, Ramon.'

'Pushy.' _Cisco mumbled, staggering forward slightly before righting his steps. He stole a glance at Harry, who was just standing there with his arms once again crossed and the smuggest expression on his face._ 'Love you.'

The rest of the day had gone off without so much as a hitch. 

They exchanged their vows, the rings, and said their I-Do's, then they had a really laid back and just all-around fun reception. And it was all just blissfully perfect. To the point where Cisco even had to steal away for a moment to cry a little. He was just so full of every good feeling and word that could be thought of, he nearly burst with it. 

Never in his life had he imagined he could feel so complete. All the disaster that they endured on a daily basis, all the mayhem that no doubt planned to wheedle its way into their future, and all the bullshit he'd been through in the past... and none of it could take away this day from him. He had his friends, he had his family, he had Harry. The devil himself could march right through the door and turn the floor into lava, and Cisco would still be on cloud nine.

Thankfully, it wasn't the devil who wandered in, flopping onto the floor beside Cisco, laying down and stretching out long legs before resting his hands flat on his stomach, long fingers clasping over a dark, navy blue suit jacket. It was Harry Wells.

"So." Cisco said, turning his head to look at him. He was wearing his glasses still, staring up at the vaulted ceiling and the plethora of blue and white streamers that were still hanging. "You wore the whole suit." Cisco commented with a bright smile. No jeans, no boots. An actual, honest to goodness, tailored suit with a vest and tie and shiny black loafers that all fit Harry so damn perfectly that it pretty much made Cisco's mind go completely blank when he'd first seen him in it. Jesse had totally called that one. Cisco owed that girl a steak dinner.

A smirk tugged at the corner of Harry's lips.

"Well, figured we're only getting married once." He turned his head to look at Cisco and they both chuckled a little when their eyes met.

"Naw, you just didn't want there to be only one fine-looking groom." Cisco gibed. Harry reached a hand over and gripped Cisco's hand before looking back at the ceiling.

"I'll admit, you are a fine-looking groom." Harry spoke warmly. Ramon had worn a dark maroon, fitted suit of his own, with a black tie. Cisco didn't even argue with Harry's comment. He just laid there, staring at Harry's profile, examining the fine lines by his eyes, the clear blue in his irises, the at ease air of his expression. He pulled Harry's hand up to his chest, then. Hugging it lightly over his heart.

"What now?" He asked, letting his voice find a place in the air around them. Harry shrugged idly before looking at him.

"What do you want to do?" He asked, calmly gazing at Cisco with what he could only describe as complete and utter affection. Damn.

Now...

Now they had forever. Or as long as forever would allow. They had endless days of driving each other nuts and endless nights of sleeping in each other's arms. They had bad guys to fight and good guys to help. They had each other. And all the memories that went with that. Including one that was bubbling to the foreground in Cisco's head as they laid there on the Cortex floor. The moment that started it all. Harry narrowed his gaze on Cisco.

"What does that look mean?" Harry questioned, his expression curious. Cisco pushed himself up, letting go of Harry's hand and getting to his feet, pointing down at Harry.

"Don't move." He ordered, and Harry raised both brows as Cisco disappeared into the med lab. When he came back, it was with the pillow from the gurney and a clear bottle with a white label. The medical lube. Harry was up on his elbows, barely catching the pillow as Cisco chucked it at him. And then, they both burst into laughter. The laughter died away when Cisco got onto his knees beside Harry, a hand moving to rest on the taller man's chest as Harry set the pillow aside, sitting up completely.

"I guess this means we've come full circle." Harry said, reaching a hand forward and pulling Cisco close. He happily complied, moving so that he was pretty much sitting in Harry's lap, straddling him. Harry's hands rested on Cisco's hips possessively. He met his husband's gaze and sighed lightly, bringing a hand up to smooth through Harry's perpetually messy hair before gently pulling his glasses off and setting them aside. 

In a way, it was true. From those first heated and hungry moments on this very floor to now, they'd almost literally made a circle in time. With meta attacks and emotional turmoil and falling together and coming apart. It all began here, and all came back here. To this very moment.

"I love you, Harry." Cisco said softly, his face sober, unable to help the slight accumulation of unshed tears in his eyes. Harry gave the softest smile Cisco had ever seen him make before pressing his head to his.

"I love you, too, Ramon." He breathed out, his voice as soft as his smile.

"I know." Cisco replied, letting his hands smooth around to the back of Harry's strong shoulders. He saw Harry raise a brow before pulling his head away, meeting his stare.

"How?" He asked then, eyes narrowed on Cisco's face, thumbs moving in slow circles above Cisco's belt. Cisco shrugged and tilted his head a little before smiling. Harry didn't show his affection like other people. He didn't say 'I love you' every day. He didn't constantly search for physical connections. He could be a grade-A dick to everyone, the people he cared about most included. So, when Harry asked 'how', Cisco knew he was genuinely curious. Because Cisco knew that Harry thought there should be every reason for Cisco to doubt it. 

Except he didn't. Not for a second. He knew because of every little thing that Harry did and said. And just then, Jesse's words come back to him, making him smile more.

"Because you wore the whole suit." He replied, completely serious. Harry just looked confused, and Cisco felt his whole heart implode for about the thousandth time that day. "I'm going to make love to my husband now." Cisco nearly whispered through that smile, hovering his mouth over Harry's. Harry's thumbs stopped their circling, and his hands slipped more around Cisco's frame.

"Because he wore the whole suit?" Harry attempted to affirm, drawing a chuckle from Cisco.

"Yes. Because he wore the whole suit."

"Sounds like he was a smart man." Harry gently tugged at Cisco's tucked in white button up shirt, then slid his fingers beneath to grip Cisco's warm ribcage. Cisco closed his eyes at the feel of Harry's hands, sighing warmly.

"Oh, very. Harrison Wells can never be said to be stupid." Cisco whispered, feeling safe, at ease, so comfortable in Harry's grasp. Which got tighter at the sound of Cisco's words.

"Say my name again." Harry suddenly said through nearly gritted teeth, his voice instantly demanding and gruff. When Cisco met his gaze, Harry's eyes were on fire, possessive again, and more than that -alive. Seriously alive. It might have seemed like a strange demand, wanting Cisco to say his full name over again. But the truth was, no one ever really called him Harrison Wells unless they thought he was the other Wells -Thawne. Cisco's breath came out quick, and he swallowed.

"Harrison Wells." He gave Harry what he wanted. It was hard to say no to him, especially when he was looking at Cisco like that. And it was Harry's turn for his breath to come out quick.

"Damn, I love you, Ramon." He whispered. And then he pressed his mouth to Cisco's.

Clothes were shed as fast as they could manage after that, rumpled up pieces of suits strewn about on the cool concrete floor. That familiar and exhilarating sensation of having sex in the Cortex, where anyone could walk in on them, had Cisco's head spinning in delightful circles. Everything about what they were doing was familiar. Except, Harry wasn't rushing this. And neither was Cisco. It seemed they both wanted this to last, for the minutes to crawl and the sensations to linger. After all, this was their first time doing the deed as a married couple. Which for some reason made it all feel brand new, despite how well acquainted they were with the act. 

It was easy to fall into the habits they'd become used to, though. Teasing each other to the point of relentless greed, searching flesh, kissing scars, playing with each other’s most sensitive areas till they were sweating with need. And it would have been easy for Cisco to let Harry take him, like he always did. But a moment came when Harry turned the tables. A moment that Cisco hadn't seen coming, at all.

One moment, Cisco was on bottom and the next he was straddling Harry's waist, locked in a breathtaking kiss as he instinctively ground their cocks together for friction. The kiss only broke when Harry situated the pillow under his own head, then he kissed Cisco again, fingers tangling into his dark hair for a moment before Harry tugged him far enough back to meet his eyes. "I want you." Harry gritted out, so much need in his tone that Cisco found himself letting out a sound.

"You've got me, Harry..." he nearly hissed out, feeling Harry shift his hips against him. Harry closed his eyes at the sensation but shook his head.

"No. I want you... _in me._ " Harry managed to get out in frustration, eyes opening, expression challenging, hard, urgent. And well, Cisco nearly froze in place. 

Not once had Harry ever asked that. And Cisco had always been okay with playing the bottom in their sexual interludes. Hell, it always felt goddamn good. So he'd had absolutely no reason to complain. Also, Harry was always the take charge guy. More often than not, it was Harry who initiated things. Of course, Harry always made sure that Cisco got what he needed. He didn't just use him up and call it a day. So, in Cisco's mind, it had always been fifty-fifty. But now... well, now Harry was giving Cisco a form of control he'd never given. And everything in Cisco was suddenly buzzing greedily because of it.

"You're serious..." Cisco whispered, unable to stop the sound of wonder in his throat. Harry's expression only became more challenging.

"You tell me, Ramon." He growled out, and then swallowed Cisco in a kiss that was just mind numbingly blissful.

Yeah, Harry was really, undoubtedly, legitimately, indubitably and every other possible adjective, serious.

Cisco let his mouth wander.

He tasted the salt in Harry's skin, breathed in the smell of his Old Spice aftershave, nipped at Harry's ribs lightly, made goosebumps crawl along Harry's flesh the lower and lower he got. When he got to Harry's hardness, he licked the tip of him smoothly, tasting the salty-sweet taste of pre-cum, watching as Harry relaxed completely against the pillow, eyes closing, lips parted just enough to let heated breaths escape. Harry's hands went behind his own head, clasping, as though he were keeping himself from touching Cisco. He was really letting Cisco take all the control, and he suddenly understood that look of possessiveness that Harry always seemed to have. 

Looking down at him now, Harry was just... incredible. The lines of his muscles, the way his groin twitched every time Cisco stroked his dick, the small beads of sweat on his sternum, the concentrated lines on his face as he reveled in every sensation. And all of him, all this view, all of what Harry was giving, belonged to Cisco. "Shit..." Cisco whispered, getting up on his knees, letting out a shaken breath as he took it all in. Then he shook his head, just as Harry opened his eyes.

Neither one of them said anything. They didn't have to.

Cisco reached for the lube, then. And the first thing he did with it was slick Harry up. He wasted no time teasing Harry's dick, stroking in fluid, firm motions that had the taller man closing his eyes again, relaxing completely against the cold floor as Ramon settled between his legs. Harry's feet were flat on the floor, knees bent, ready to give Cisco access to whatever he wanted, in any way he wanted. He could see Harry's breath speeding up, the rise and fall of his chest becoming labored as Cisco brought him near the edge. But he stopped stroking him just before Harry could tumble over, a sly smile spreading. Hearing Harry's frustrated sigh was awesome as hell.

"So that's what that's like." Cisco commented lightly, and Harry opened his eyes with a slight glare. It had always been like Harry to tease Cisco like that. Being the one to do it to him for a change was fantastic and funny.

"You better cut it out before I change my mind." Harry ordered. And Cisco chuckled.

"Oh, hell no, no way you're getting out of this now, Harry." Cisco said, just as he began to slide his lube slick fingers over Harry's hole. And Harry's reaction? His whole body froze. His eyes fluttered closed. He took in an enormous breath, and let it out slow, his dick twitching momentarily of its own volition. Cisco hadn't realized just how sensitive Harry was there. It was great to know. Like, _really_ great.

Cisco started slow. 

He took his time, patient to a fault, as he teased Harry open. To the point where he could fit two fingers in and scissor them without complication. Even just using his fingers, he knew Harry was tight and deliciously warm. The anticipation was killing him. He could feel the urgent need, so painfully wonderful, already building inside him. 

When he was happy that Harry was perfectly where he wanted him, he moved over Harry, crawling forward, holding Harry's gaze every inch of the way till he situated himself over Harry's hole, the tip of him pushing just enough to make them both gasp. Harry's hands gripped to Cisco's sides, fingers digging in. "Now, Ramon." Harry compelled him, shifting his hips in such a way that Cisco had no choice but to push in. 

And push he did.

Harry was so hot inside, so tight. It was breathtaking. Both of them nearly panted like they were running a marathon, till Cisco was in as far as he could possibly get, Harry's fingers digging almost painfully hard into his sides. And damn if that didn't make it feel even more intense, so fucking good. 

"H-Harry..." he hissed out, chest heaving. Even when Cisco was the one on top, Harry seemed to take charge. It was probably just encoded in his DNA, always needing to be in control. And the thought made Cisco love the man impossibly more. Especially when Harry reached up and grabbed Cisco's hair, tugging him down. Their mouths met, tongues colliding, moans coming from both of them as Cisco took the hint and started moving. In and out, slick and rushed movements gliding his dick out of Harry and back repeatedly. The sound of flesh hitting flesh soon became a chorus, along with their labored breathing and the moans they were both eliciting. Neither one of them, it seemed, had any plans on being quiet.

At one point, Harry arched, fingers digging into Cisco's ribs. And he knew Harry was going to come. He watched, keeping up the rhythm, as Harry came. His seed splotched out onto his stomach and down his hip, heavy pants escaping Harry's mouth. "Cisco..." he breathed almost dizzily. "Shit." 

Cisco would have replied, would have said something, but watching Harry come had brought him to his own brink. And he was suddenly moving faster, harder, until the painful pressure exploded, and he sheathed himself as deep inside Harry as he could manage, crying out lightly as his own orgasm wracked through him. It was tremendous. He felt like he came harder in that moment than he ever had in his life. And it left him feeling light-headed and trembling head to toe once it passed. It took him a full moment before he opened his eyes, looking down to find Harry watching him quietly.

Slowly, Harry smiled.

And it was warm. And it was loving. And it was all for Cisco. All of this. 

This day, the wedding, this moment, he realized, had all been Harry's gift to him. Cisco shook his head slightly with the realization of it. "You really do love me." He nearly blurted out, then felt heat rush to his cheeks in embarrassment. Strange, that should embarrass him of all things. But Harry's smile was tender as he reached up and curled some of Cisco's hair behind his ear.

"Because I wore the whole suit?" He joked, humor dancing in his now lazy gaze, their bodies easing more as the moments ticked by, sated and pleased. Cisco had to smile, gently pulling himself out of Harry -who let out a sigh at the loss of him. Then Cisco stood a little shakily, getting up to get some paper towels. 

He found some in the medlab, wetting them at the sink and taking them back. Harry was still laying on his back, his hands back behind his head again. He watched Cisco every moment as he cleaned them both up. Then, once Cisco was satisfied that neither one of them was a sticky mess, he lowered himself to Harry's side, scooting close into him, lining their bodies up in a warm line. Harry curled an arm around him, holding him as Cisco laid his head down on Harry's chest. Right in its usual place, over his husband's heart. _His husband._ Shit, he liked thinking that. Liked that a lot.

"For the record, Harry, I'd have known whether you wore the whole suit or not." Cisco mumbled, closing his eyes. He felt Harry's fingers begin to trail up and down his spine in slow, soothing motions.

"I'm glad." Harry commented, something small and tender about his voice that Cisco couldn't put his finger on. He let his eyes open, watching Harry's chest rise and fall for a moment before he lifted his head to look at him. Harry blinked, then sighed through his nostrils. "I wonder sometimes if I don't say it enough or show it enough." Cisco smiled at that.

"You do, though. In your own dysfunctional way." Cisco explained, watching Harry give him the 'don't be an idiot' look. "Every day, in little ways. Everyone else may not realize it or notice. But I do."

"That's because you're not everyone else." Harry admitted. "Not to me." Harry's eyes traced the lines of Cisco's jaw, his throat, looking down to where Cisco's hand was laid flat on Harry's ribs. Then he put his hand over Cisco's before looking at his chocolate eyes again. "Today was one of the best days of my life. Because..." he cleared his throat a little, "I was able to make you happy. And that's all I want. To be the one... who makes you happy."

Well, that did it. 

Cisco closed his eyes, feeling a lump catch in his throat. "Shit, Harry." He sighed out, shaking his head a little, a single tear pushing its way out before Cisco could have any say. Harry was good at that, flipping the switch on Cisco's emotions without trying. He was the only one who could. "Why do you have to be so imperfectly perfect?" He asked, feeling Harry's thumb smooth over the tear just before he opened his eyes again. And Harry just stared at him calmly.

"Because you allow me to be. And that's everything."

A moment later, Cisco was nestled back inside the warm safety of Harry's arms. Eventually, they'd have to get off the floor, get dressed, go home. Then they'd have a week off to do whatever the hell they wanted. Barry promised. Even if the holy hell of metas showed up, these two married dudes were officially off the grid for seven days. 

It wasn't exactly like they'd planned a honeymoon. They'd only decided that morning that they would go to Earth-2 so Cisco could experience the apparent heaven that was Atlantis. But honestly, Cisco would have been happy even if they didn't have the week off. Because this was it. This was his forever. 

Whether they were bickering over science, having mind-blowing sex, sleeping in their oversized bed, fighting metas, or laying on the Cortex floor, Cisco would be a happy man. All because of the hardheaded, frustrating, annoying, pain in the ass, perfectly imperfect scientist who loved him.

There was no universe, no time, no earth, nothing that could make forever more worth living for than that.


	10. What Rings A Bell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An accident in the lab steals Ramon's memory. Is this the end of Harry and Cisco?

Cisco Ramon didn't recognize anyone.

Not any of the four faces that kept floating in and out of his vision seemed familiar. 

He couldn't put a name to any of them. And that wasn't even the worst part. He couldn't remember himself. His own name was as much a mystery to him as everything and everyone else. It took hours for him to really come out of the fuzzy laden floating feeling he'd been swimming in. And despite feeling far more conscious, he was still at a complete loss.

There was a woman, whose smile was warm and comforting, who didn't seem to know what to do with her hands when she asked him questions like, "Do you know where you are?" and "Do you know what day it is?" Questions he had no answers to. He didn't know where he was. He didn't know what day it was. He didn't know who she was.

There was a man, probably around his own age, standing with his arms crossed over his chest, focused in on him like he had a bullseye on his face. He looked beyond concerned. As though he was having a hard time accepting that the guy sitting on that gurney didn't know him. And well, Ramon really didn't know him. He didn't know the cop standing next to him either. He knew he was a cop because he could see his badge.

And there was a tall man. Dressed in black, hands clenching futilely at his sides, his striking blue eyes hiding... everything. Thoughts, emotions. Whatever was going through his head was as confusing as the rest of this situation. And Ramon felt oddly uncomfortable under the tall man’s gaze. As though the man might just snap in a second and try to strangle him. Or maybe kiss him. Looking at him the way he was, there wasn't any way to tell.

"Look... why don't you," he said motioning idly to Caitlin, "Tell _me_ what happened?" He asked, pushing himself up to sit more. Caitlin's eyebrows went up and she looked over at the other men in the room before shrugging her shoulder gently.

"We... we all work together, as a team. Fighting metahumans?" She made it a question, wondering if he knew what those were. And he did. Surprisingly.

"So... what, we're some kind of Scooby Gang?" He asked, letting his eyes roam momentarily. Caitlin smirked lightly.

"Something like that. You were trying to rig a solar net to help catch one of them and, well... it sort of exploded while you were working on it. You hit your head pretty hard." She said, motioning to the bandage over his temple. "You gashed your temporal lobe and gave yourself a small skull fracture. And, well, amnesia, apparently." When she finished, he lifted his hand to his head and sighed.

"Yeah, I got that pa-" he stopped midway when his hand came down and he saw the ring on his finger. A wedding band. He spread his fingers, staring at the white gold band and furrowing his brows. Was he married? He suddenly felt tense, like a dear in headlights, dropping his hand and clearing his throat. "Okay..." he sighed out of his nostrils, trying to compose himself. Trying to make himself feel calmer than he was. But he wasn't sure it was working. "What's my name?" He asked, and Caitlin put a hand on his shoulder, drawing his attention.

"You're Cisco Ramon. I'm Caitlin Snow." She motioned across the room, "That's Barry Allen, Joe West," and then she pointed at the tall man in the dark clothes with the terrifying stare, "And that's Harrison Wells. Harry." All Cisco could do was glance from one to the next. None of those names rang any bells, not even his own.

"Is this..." he looked up at her, feeling his eyes stinging, "The amnesia, is it permanent?" He choked out, gripping the blankets that were pooled around his waist. Her expression looked even more concerned.

"Cisco, I don't think it's permanent. I really don't. Injuries like this can cause what's called Retrograde Amnesia. You've momentarily lost the ability to remember things from before you hit your head. It's easy to treat. We just... have to keep exposing you to things from your life. And over time your memory should completely return." She explained. He swallowed, nodding.

"How long will that take, do you think?" He asked, hating how sheepish his voice sounded.

"A few days? A few weeks? I really can't say, I'm sorry." She said, looking pained. He reached over and squeezed her hand, not sure why. He had every reason to be doubtful. He was sitting in some secret lab, apparently a guy who helped fight evil doers. The story was outlandish at best. But seeing how much she worried for him, how much they all seemed to, he couldn't really bring himself to argue the point. "For now, you need rest. I'm going to give you a sedative, help you sleep." She said, stepping aside and grabbing a needle off a tray. 

Everyone began to leave the room. Except for the tall guy, Harrison Wells. Ramon kept his eyes on him, watching him as he relaxed his hands and slipped them into his black jean pockets. It was then that Cisco caught a glimpse of the wedding band on Wells' finger. But he suddenly felt warm and fuzzy and sleepy and couldn't even mouth the words that suddenly jumped into his head, right before he drifted off to a completely empty sleep.

_'Are we a thing?'_

* * *

Bit by bit, day by day, he remembered things.

Like the fact that he was a meta called Vibe, and that Barry was the Flash, and that Caitlin was his best friend, and that Harry -yeah, Harry- was totally his husband. But the details were still terribly fuzzy. He knew the basics. He remembered how to completely take apart and put back together the speed canon and the treadmill. He knew how to reposition satellites and hack into any government database. He knew how to make killer enchiladas and kick ass cappuccino. He knew that S.T.A.R. Labs wasn't home even though he'd been spending every day and night there since he'd come-to. He knew that Caitlin hated Kettle Corn and Barry always lost at poker. 

And he knew that Harry was hurting.

He saw it, whenever they were in the same room together. In his own gruff and agitated way, he was trying very hard to make things easier for Cisco. He wasn't pushy, he wasn't trying to force memories on him. He was just there, a constant and strangely comforting presence. Ready to answer questions, to give Cisco anything he needed and wanted, all while secretly -or not so secretly- suffering from what appeared to be genuine heartache.

"You must really love me." Cisco said, legs still swinging from where he sat on the table on the far side of the room, watching Harry scribble equations on the plexiglass white board. He'd meant it as half a joke, but the look Harry gave him through the lenses of his glasses was very serious.

"Yes, Ramon." He said, turning his eyes away and sighing before setting the marker down and pulling his glasses off, momentarily pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut before turning to look at him. He narrowed his gaze on Ramon, who had stopped swinging his legs and had dropped his jaw just a little. "You seem surprised."

"Well, I... yeah, a little I guess." Cisco replied, feeling his face flush. He remembered arguing with Harry. A lot. Mostly witty banter back and forth. Sometimes Harry would throw things. Sometimes they both frustrated each other relentlessly. "Some of the things I remember... we don't seem like a typical couple." He said, offering his best attempt at a light smile. Harry crossed his arms over his chest, raising his chin a little.

"We're not. Never were. Never will be." Harry responded firmly. Huh. Man of few words.

"Okay, explain that." Cisco said, hopping off the table and wandering toward him. "I remember how we met. And like a million arguments. And I remember we work really well together, on just about any project put in front of us." He crossed his own arms, then, practically mimicking Harry. "So what made us... ya know, fall for each other?" He wasn't being facetious. He really truly wanted to know. He remembered laughing with Harry. Cuddling on a couch and watching tv. Waking up in the middle of the night pressed up against Harry's long, warm body. He remembered making Harry pancakes. And Harry spending nearly an hour massaging Cisco's body just because. Little things. There were probably a lot more little things. But he couldn't tie all these random memories together. He couldn't make sense of how they could agitate the crap out of each other one moment and then seem content together the next.

Harry frowned then, his sparkling blue eyes growing lightly darker as he took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "You..." he paused, swallowing, then letting his arms fall, as though something in him was quietly defeated. But he didn't lose the darkness in his eyes. "You make me better, Ramon. You see me, and you accept me. You let me be who I am. And you make me... happy." He absently began spinning the ring on his finger with his thumb without looking, keeping his eyes on Cisco's. "You've given more than I ever deserved. And I love you for it." He practically whispered the last part. His words were so concise and straight to the point. But Cisco found that familiar and heartwarming. As though this was just how Harry was, and Cisco knew it. Cisco let his own arms fall.

"I'm sorry, man." He said tentatively. Harry raised a brow.

"For what?"

"For all of this." Cisco replied, tapping his own forehead, "For scrambling my brains. For forgetting. I'm getting it back, a little more every day. But it must be killing you..." He took another step forward. "You've been really patient, and I'm starting to think that's hard for you." He smirked lightly. "But really, I'm sorry." Harry shook his head, his expression softening.

"This isn't your fault, Ramon." He lifted his hand as if to touch Cisco's hair, but then froze and took a slow step back. Cisco instinctively reached up and grabbed Harry's hand.

"You're not going to hurt me if you touch me, ya know." Cisco said, far more humor in his voice than there probably should have been. "I remember curling up with you. You playing with my hair. Little stuff... like that." Harry seemed unsure, but when Cisco released his hand, he moved back toward him and slipped his fingers into Cisco's strands, his fingertips brushing along Ramon's skin as he brushed his hair behind his ear. Cisco had to sigh softly. "I remember that, too."

"But not much else." Harry stated, trying to keep his voice level as he let his hand fall.

"So why don't you help me fix that?" Cisco asked then.

"How?" Harry responded, brows furrowed as he looked down at Cisco. One-word sentences must really be his thing.

"It's obvious we've done a lot more than just random touching." He explained, feeling a slow heat rise into his cheeks, his heart fluttering momentarily. "I may not remember... kissing you or..." he cleared his throat, "Or having sex with you." He raised his hand, wiggling his fingers to make the wedding band glisten in the lab lights. "But we obviously have. I mean, dude... we're married." He chuckled a little. "So, kiss me." He shrugged, taking a small step toward Harry. "Remember by doing, right? That's the theory."

Harry didn't move. Where before Ramon hadn't really been able to read his expressions, his looks, now he could. Harry's eyes played out every concern and emotion and worry.

"I don't want to hurt you." Harry said then, and Cisco felt himself go all tingly with shock.

"Why would you-" He stopped, a sudden realization hitting him. Harry was worried that if he kissed him, if he did more with Cisco, that Cisco might not remember it as a good thing. That Harry was worried it may seem like taking advantage. And the sheer fact that Harry was willing to forgo everything to protect Cisco suddenly made Ramon feel... _damn loving_. Enough so that he moved forward, gripped Harry's sweater in both hands and tugged him down. Harry's brows went up in surprise. But he didn't pull away, not even when Cisco pressed their mouths together.

And Harry's mouth was warm.

And Harry's breath was warm.

And Harry's body was warm.

The kiss was slow at first. Testing. Teasing. Then lips parted, and tongues tasted, and Harry's arms were holding him firmly, and Cisco's fingers were tangled in Harry's messy hair. And everything he couldn't remember didn't even matter because he knew, with every fiber of his being, that this was right. 

This was really, really right. 

Everything in Cisco was trembling, his heart was hammering. He felt like a school kid kissing a crush for the first time. But this was also so much more than that. Far more real, far more important. God, he would kill to remember all the times they'd kissed before. Was every time like this? As in perfect, as in delicious, as in head spinning and life giving and breath taking all at once?

When their lips parted, both of them needing to come up for air, Cisco's body was still firmly pressed up against Harry's long form and they were both swallowing, breathing heavily, foreheads pressed together, neither one of them willing to let go. "I can't believe I would forget something like that. Cause that was... that was..." he let out an exasperated laugh, "Well that was _fucking amazing._ " And Harry chuckled. A sound that sent shivers up and down Ramon's spine. And made something inside his head click.

He remembered Harry...

 _... holding up a poster._ "It's still crooked. Who taught you how to level things?" _Ramon said from where he was standing on the bed with his butt against the headboard, doing his best to 'guide' Harry's attempts at getting the 'May the Fourth be with you!' poster Cisco had picked up as straight as possible on the wall beside the closet._

"I still don't see why we have to hang this here." _Harry grumped, shifting the poster again._ "You could have put it in the lab with your other overly geeky displays." _Cisco shook his head._

"Nope, uh uh. This right here isn't just any poster. It's signed by Mark Hamill himself. I had to pay way too much on eBay for this thing. No way I'm letting it hang in a place where things blow up on a regular basis. More to the left and lower the right corner." _He ordered. Harry glanced at him, narrowing his eyes and shifting it some more._

"How much did you pay?" _He demanded, watching as Cisco grinned and raised both thumbs before bounding over and pressing the poster-tape in place. Harry began running his hands over the poster till it flattened in place._ "Ramon." _He said, as Cisco stepped back to admire the poster for the millionth time._

"What?" _He asked innocently, glancing at his suspicious looking husband._ "You don't wanna know. Trust me." _Harry practically rolled his eyes out of his head. But then stepped into Cisco's space and momentarily kissed his forehead._

"You're lucky I love you." _He whispered before moving past him._

"Damn right." _Cisco grinned. And he heard Harry chuckle. God, he loved that sound._

* * *

It had been two weeks and one day since Cisco cracked his head. And though there was still so much he was still fuzzy about, one thing he knew for sure was that he was not supposed to be sleeping in a cot at S.T.A.R. Labs. 

"Are you sure about this, Ramon?" Harry asked from where he was leaning against the doorframe to the bedroom, hands hidden in his pockets. He was wearing a black S.T.A.R. Labs t-shirt and had taken his boots off. He looked uncomfortable, but not for any reason Cisco could figure out. They'd kissed quite a few times in the last couple of days. Enough to make Cisco remember all sorts of kisses... and what they could lead to. "Maybe I should sleep on the couch..." Harry mumbled, turning lightly to glance over his shoulder as though the couch were calling him.

"Harry, dude... no." Cisco said, pulling the blanket back. He was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt of his own. "Last time I checked, we're married. Married people usually share beds. Unless they're like... from the fifties." He sat down on the mattress, peeling his socks off.

"Right." Harry mumbled some more. Cisco glanced over at him and couldn't help but feel a slight ache. Harry looked so lost. He'd looked that way a lot since Cisco got hurt. As though he was trapped in a maze and he knew there was no way out, but he was still wandering anyway. He watched Harry move to the closet and pull out some plaid blue and black pajama pants. He took his jeans off. Commando. Yum. Ramon remembered that. He was almost sad to see him pull the pajama pants on. But he knew that with everything he couldn't remember, Harry wouldn't want to have sex. 

Harry, in some ways, was treating Cisco like a fragile piece of glass. It was both endearing and frustrating as hell. But he smiled when Harry came over and settled into his side of the bed, sighing when his head hit the pillow. Ramon just stared at him for a long time before settling in beside him. He stayed slightly propped up, draping one leg over both of Harry's. Harry looked at him, quietly, endless blue eyes watching Cisco's chocolate ones.

Cisco reached up and traced Harry's jawline, sliding his fingers down to Harry's throat and stopping only when his fingers met the edge of Harry's t-shirt. "I love you, ya know." Harry blinked, his mouth opening as though he were going to say something, but stopped himself, clamping his lips shut. Cisco smirked knowingly. "I do remember what love is, Harry."

"But you don't remember everything about me. About us." Harry said softly, one hand curling around the thigh Cisco had draped just below Harry's groin. Cisco shrugged.

"I remember enough. Like I've never felt safer with anyone else. I've never been so pulled toward someone like I am to you." Cisco scooted closer, resting his head on Harry's shoulder, slipping his hand down Harry's torso to get his fingers beneath the shirt. He wanted to touch Harry's warm stomach. And he sighed when his hand met firm flesh. "I remember this. How you feel. How it feels to be held by you. I remember you sitting through shows you hate and how proud you sound when you introduce me to someone as your husband." Cisco closed his eyes. "It's coming back, Harry. I promise. Slowly, yeah... but... it's gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay."

Harry wrapped his other hand around Cisco, holding him firmly, breathing in so deep that Cisco's head rose and fell when he exhaled. "I love you, too, Ramon." Harry finally said. Then he reached over and shut off the light. Moments later, Cisco was drifting off to sleep. 

He might not remember everything, but he was sure that right there, sleeping in Harry's arms, was exactly where he was supposed to be.

* * *

Cisco nearly fell out of bed when Harry yelled nonsensically and sat up ridiculously fast. Cisco fumbled for the light, turning to look at Harry while blinking rapidly against the sudden light. 

"Harry?" He demanded, hands moving toward him. He rested one on the small of Harry's back, the other on Harry's thigh. The blankets had fallen toward their knees. Harry's face was hidden in his hands and he was breathing hard, trembling. "Jesus, man. Talk to me." Cisco got on his knees, pulling Harry's frame into him. And Harry let him, hands sliding over his face and dropping into his lap as he took in a shaken breath and let it out.

"I'm sorry." He finally muttered, "For waking you." Cisco sighed softly, rubbing small circles on Harry's back, resting his chin on the top of Harry's shoulder.

"Bad dream?" He asked softly, pressing his lips warmly to Harry's cheek after. Harry closed his eyes and relaxed completely into Cisco's hold.

"Yeah." he replied. Short and sweet, like usual.

"Tell me about it." Ramon urged gently, still stroking Harry's back. It occurred to Cisco that he was happy to be there, holding Harry after a nightmare. It felt right. It felt like this was a gift. Harry was quiet for a very long time. Then he cleared his throat and turned his head. Cisco lifted his head off Harry's shoulder and met his gaze.

"You forgot me. Again. Only...” He cleared his throat, searching Cisco’s eyes. “Everything changed. You… you hated me." He whispered. And there it was… _pain_. Real and awful and filling Harry's eyes despite the lack of expression on his face.

"God, Harry..." Cisco shook his head and felt his eyes burning. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He pressed their foreheads together, raising his hand to cup Harry's cheek. "That's not real. It never can be. Ever. Because no matter what happens, no matter who we are or where we go or what the multiverse throws at us, this?" he said, gripping Harry's shirt with his free hand for emphasis, "This is _always_ supposed to be. We're supposed to drive each other nuts, we're supposed to argue, we're supposed to risk our lives on a daily basis, and I'm supposed to love you. And you're supposed to love me. And that's that. _You hear me_?" He practically demanded. Harry squeezed his eyes shut, his nostrils flaring as he let out a heavy breath.

And then Harry's mouth was on his.

Harry's hands were pushing him into the mattress and pillows.

Harry's body was pinning him down in a way that was so wonderfully familiar.

Yeah. This was exactly how it was supposed to be. And somehow, that thought was wonderfully familiar, too.

It didn't take long before need overrode logic, and clothes were tossed to the wayside. Blankets crumpled to the floor, and Harry's naked body was delightfully molded to Cisco's naked body. Harry kissed him with a fervor, as though he'd once had a taste of heaven, only to have it torn away, only to have it suddenly thrown back at him... and now he wasn't going to waste a moment. 

"Harry... Harry..." Cisco whispered, eyes closed, head back as Harry's mouth made its way down his throat, kissing, tasting his skin. Cisco curled his fingers into Harry's hair. He could feel how hard and ready Harry already was. It matched his own readiness. He had to grind his hips up against Harry's form, moaning softly as Harry's mouth found one of Cisco's nipples. He teased with teeth and lips and tongue in a way that made Cisco's head swim. He was already beginning to feel that painful pleasure in his groin. He felt like he hadn't had any sort of release in thousands of years. He wasn't sure he could last with all this teasing. And Harry knew what he was doing. He released Cisco's nipple with one final soft lick, lips trailing down Cisco's torso, lower, lower... and Cisco gripped Harry's hair. "No, no... don't go down on me. I won't last." He breathed out, heat in his voice, making him sound deeper than he normally did. Harry lifted his head, a hand gliding down Cisco's dick, thumb rolling over the tip and spreading Cisco's pre-cum.

"I wouldn't complain." Harry said, offering Cisco a chance at a quick release, at the expense of his own. Cisco could tell right away, that's what he was doing. He was giving Cisco a way out if he wanted it. Cisco spread his legs, pressing his thighs to either side of Harry's form and reached for him, urging him to come back up. Harry crawled his way up, pressing their dicks together, hovering over Cisco's form and staring down at him with the most hungry stare Cisco had ever seen.

"I would. I want you in me, Harry. Right now, dammit." He growled out. And Harry chuckled. A rough and warm sound that made Cisco shiver visibly, head to toe. Harry lowered his mouth to his, and Cisco practically cried out at the chance to kiss him again. Harry ground their groins together firmly, finding a motion that made Cisco quiver and squirm and have to break the kiss. One hand flailed to the side, finding the drawer to the bedside table without looking, yanking it open and searching wildly with one hand for the lube he knew was there. 

Yeah, he remembered that. 

He found it and pushed himself up, catching Harry's mouth again. Harry shifted enough to take the bottle from Cisco and get up on his knees. He broke the kiss, Cisco up and leaning on his elbows, and watching Harry, legs still apart, feet flat on the mattress and knees bent. He watched Harry pop open the cap, gritting his teeth as he upended the lube on Cisco's dick, and then his own. He literally tossed the lube aside after that, not at all caring where it landed. And then he stared at Cisco, questioningly, making sure. Always so careful with him. Goddamn, Cisco loved that. "Now, Harrison Wells."

Harry's eyes lit on fire. 

Cisco knew it was all because he'd said Harry's full name, all hungry and demanding like that. He slid his hand down Cisco's dick, stroking, pumping for a moment before then using his slicked up fingers to work at widening Cisco's hole. Ramon flopped backward on the bed, hands in his own hair, panting, nearly whining at the feel of Harry's long fingers working in and out of him. 

"Oooh... Harry, hurry..." he practically whimpered. And Harry, oh-so-wonderful Harry, pulled his fingers out. Without so much as a word of warning, he positioned himself right over Cisco and slid in. The result was Cisco seeing stars and nearly yelling out Harry's name with raspy breath. Harry sheathed himself completely, gripping Cisco's thighs hard, breathing heavily.

"Fuck, Ramon..." he whispered harshly. Cisco opened his eyes, gripping the sheets for dear life with one hand and reaching for Harry with the other. Harry complied, moving back down his body and shifting himself, Cisco nearly growling at the feel of Harry moving inside of him. And then Harry was thrusting, hovering over him, picking up a rhythm instantly. All that painful pleasure that Ramon had been feeling built instantly. 

Every thrust, every sound of slippery flesh smacking, the sight of Harry's tense and strong muscles, the taste of Harry's hungry mouth swallowing Cisco's moans... it all brought Cisco to a release that had him reeling, head going back, hands gripping Harry's ribs so hard that he was digging his nails in, his thighs tightening against Harry's form. And Harry picked up speed, riding Cisco through it with a terrible need. By the time Cisco was halfway down, Harry was having his own orgasm. 

When all was said and done, he couldn't think straight. Couldn't open his eyes. Couldn't move. Every muscle was either twitching or trembling. He was limp against the mattress. Even when Harry slid out and moved away, Cisco didn't move. Even when Harry disappeared and came back with a damp towel and cleaned Cisco up, he didn't move. It wasn't till Harry laid down beside him, propped up on one elbow, his hot hand flattening over Cisco's stomach, that he finally opened his heavy-lidded eyes and smiled at Harry. Completely sated.

"See?" Cisco said, sighing and curling into Harry lazily, forcing Harry to lay down all the way after he managed to pull the comforter back onto the bed and over their forms.

"See what?" Harry asked, sighing as Cisco turned, letting Harry play big spoon, pulling Harry's arm tightly against his chest. He felt Harry's hot breath on his hair and closed his eyes, smiling contentedly.

"Remember by doing." Cisco mumbled.

"Remember what?" Harry asked in soft confusion. Cisco grinned, turning his head just enough to see Harry still slightly propped up and looking at him.

"Us. You. Everything." He replied. And the look on Harry's face was so worth it. The relief, the release of pain, the pure affection, all played out for Cisco to see.

"Welcome home, Cisco." Harry whispered, then kissed Cisco's lips soothingly.

A moment later, the light was out and they were curled up in the darkness, naked and warm and happy.

It was good to be home.


	11. Eureka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Cisco are in the middle of packing to move to a new apartment when Harry surprises Cisco in an unexpected way.

There were a lot of things that Cisco Ramon had gotten used to. 

Life fighting metas, and life with Harry, was far from being boring. But walking through the apartment door after making a burrito run on a Sunday afternoon, the last thing he ever thought he'd see was Harry... _petting a cat_.

"Uh... Harry?" Cisco spoke up, shaking the rain off his jacket and nudging the door closed with his elbow before moving into the kitchen, setting the bag down on the table along with his keys. Harry, who was standing at the kitchen counter, glanced at him wordlessly. "What's that?" Cisco asked, unable to hide the humor in his tone as he glanced from Harry's face to the several month old, scrawny, gray and white cat purring its heart out while eating shredded pieces of leftover cold chicken on a plate.

"What's what?" He asked, his voice calm, his eyes unreadable. Cisco raised a brow and chuckled, moving forward.

"Okay, let me rephrase... why is there a cat on the counter?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Harry shrugged, continuing the soft glide of his hand over the cat's back.

"It was hungry. Found it on the fire escape." Harry responded, easy as could be. As though there was nothing strange about this. But this was _Harry_ , who avoided dogs like the plague and had never so much as shown any indication in liking pet-type animals. At all. Cisco blinked, narrowing his gaze.

"Dude... it's a cat." He said flatly. Harry sighed in annoyance, glancing sideways at Cisco.

"Very good, Ramon. Your powers of observation never cease to astound." He responded gratingly, turning from the cat to grab a bowl out of one of the cabinets. He brought it to the sink and filled it with water. He then set it in front of the cat, who meowed adorably and started drinking like it hadn't had water in ages.

"Ha, you're funny." Cisco responded sarcastically, moving to scratch at the cat's ear. "So you found it outside and just decided... what? To have a playdate?" Harry moved past Cisco, pausing just long enough to kiss the top of his head briefly before going into the living room to continue packing up the boxes they'd been working on for the past week. 

Moving sucked. Like, seriously sucked. But it was a whole lot easier with someone to do it with. Their new apartment was closer to S.T.A.R. Labs, and bigger. A whole lot bigger, with more space for both of their things, now that Harry was starting to actually accumulate stuff.

"It's raining." Harry finally responded, crouching in front of Cisco's collection of DVD's, and pulling them off the shelf. He put them in the box beside him, bit by bit. Cisco bent over to look the cat in the face. It was cute, he had to admit. But... it was still a cat. Cisco was more of a dog person, honestly. And it was strange to think that Harry was a cat guy. It totally made sense, though. Cats were grumpy, self-sufficient loners. That was Harry to a T most of the time. Cisco watched the cat roll over, exposing her belly for more petting, which Cisco hesitated to do.

"Well, when it stops raining, I'm putting her back outside." Cisco said. It wasn't that he didn't want a pet. Maybe someday they'd get one. But they were right in the middle of moving, and a cat was... a cat. Harry paused what he was doing, glancing over at Cisco wordlessly. But he didn't say anything. He just sighed and went back to work. And Cisco made a face at the feline before petting her once more and turning to eat some burrito goodness.

* * *

It had rained all night.

At some point Cisco had fallen asleep, half on the couch, half on the floor. It was an awkward way to pass out, but they'd packed for literal hours. By the time they'd finished the last of the living room and the kitchen, Cisco was so tired that he just draped himself over the cushions and snored his heart out. It was the sound of purring that woke him up. There was a blanket draped over him. And his hair was in his face, blocking his view. 

"Ungh..." he groaned, pushing himself up and wiping at the wayward strands of hair in his face, only to see the cat mere inches away from his head. He was so startled, he fell off the couch in a heap. "Ouch..." he mumbled, lying flat on his back. The cat hopped off the couch and onto Cisco's stomach. "Oof!" He puffed, blinking and grabbing the cat. "Hey, cat, what gives?" He moped, glancing up at her. The silly feline just moved into him and began purring even louder. That was when Harry appeared, hovering over Cisco. He crouched down, moving the rest of Cisco's hair out of his face. 

"Good morning." Harry said easily, then simply picked up the cat and disappeared. Cisco blinked, confused, then he sat up, gripping the couch and getting to his feet, the blanket tangled around one leg. He kicked it off and went in search of Harry, finding him in the bedroom, packing.

"Did you sleep at all?" He asked. Cisco was so not a morning person, which was something Harry seemed to handle with a never-ending patience. Oddly enough.

"Wasn't tired." He replied, the cat flopping down on the bed and stretching out. Apparently, the feline had made herself right at home. Harry was emptying the bookshelf, the one that had all of Cisco's first edition comics and graphic novels.

"You've been packing all this time?" Cisco muttered, then rubbed his hands firmly over his face in an attempt to wake up more.

"No. Went to the store." He said, shifting the box and then closing it up. He dragged the packing tape over the top, watching Cisco with a sparkle of humor in his eyes. Cisco glanced at his watch. It was barely six-thirty.

"What the hell'd you go to the store for this early?" He asked, plopping his rear down on the bed. Harry shrugged, picking up the box and setting it next to two other already packed boxes.

"Cat needed things." He said, moving to sit beside Cisco, putting a hand on Cisco's lower back. Cisco leaned into him instinctively, but frowned.

"The cat needed-" he paused, then looked at Harry's profile, "Harry, we're not keeping the cat."

"Eureka." Harry said, looking at Cisco.

"What?" Yeah, Cisco was too tired to think straight and thus was instantly confused. The cat suddenly appeared, stepping onto Cisco's lap and pressing her head into his stomach. Cisco froze, looking down at her.

"That's its name. Eureka." Harry said, smirking lightly. That smirk that always made Cisco's heart skip a few hundred beats at a time. He glanced at Harry and felt himself go pleasantly warm. And couldn't help smiling lazily at him in return.

"Her." Cisco replied. It was Harry's turn to sound and look confused.

"What?" Harry asked, tilting his head a lot like a cat would. And Cisco chuckled.

"The cat is a girl, Harry. Not an it." He couldn't help the humor in his voice. Or just how endearing this whole situation actually was. Harry and a cat. Who woulda thunk it?

"Eureka." Harry said firmly. And Cisco just shook his head before leaning over and kissing Harry warmly. Harry went all still and soft, his lips happily moving with Ramon's. When Cisco pulled his mouth away, Harry sighed.

"Alright. We can keep the cat." Cisco said. "But I don't do litter boxes, dude. That's all on you." He nudged Harry, who practically grinned. "And she needs shots and, ya know... needs to get fixed, too. Cause one cat is more than enough, Harry." He commented, looking down at Eureka with a sigh.

"I'll take care of it." Harry said, his tone a promise in itself.

"Her, Harry. Not it." Cisco sighed, setting the cat down on the floor.

Yeah, there were a lot of things about life that Cisco had gotten used to. 

But in a way, he would never get used to the many things Harry could do to surprise him. He was in a unique position of seeing a side of the other man that most people never would. Like how patient Harry actually could be, how soft, how affectionate. How loving.

The guy was tough as nails, smart as hell, rough around every edge and hard on the world around him. But his heart was probably the most incredible thing about him. He was loyal to a fault, protective and caring, deeply kind and wonderful to those he loved and considered family, friends. He was a mentor, a hero and a fighter. He had so many layers that no one bothered to peel back. People saw the guy with the bad attitude, the know-it-all, the hard ass. And yeah, Harry was definitely all that. But the rest? Well, Cisco was glad to know he could see and experience the Harry no one else really knew. Because that was the guy Cisco loved. The guy he would probably say yes to having a million cats to if it meant seeing Harry so happy.

Cisco stifled a yawn before standing and stretching, looking around the nearly empty bedroom. By tomorrow, all their stuff would be in the new place. The movers would be by in a few hours. And then they'd have to unpack. Cisco was soooo not looking forward to that.

"I made coffee." Harry said before standing, too. "Go wake up." He urged, tugging lightly on Cisco's messy hair, smirking when Cisco swatted at him. Harry chuckled and grabbed another empty box, unfolding it. Cisco moved toward the hall, but paused, turning to look at Harry for a moment.

"Hey, Harry." Cisco practically hummed. Harry paused, his hands stilling on the box, looking at Cisco. "Love you." He didn't wait for Harry to respond, he didn't need to. He wandered into the hall, toward the bathroom. Cisco knew Harry loved him, too. He didn't need to hear it back. He saw it, heard it, felt it every day, in all of Harry's unusual ways. Which Cisco was thinking about happily as he brushed his teeth, washed his face, changed his clothes, and exited the bathroom to nearly faceplant right into Harry. "HolycrapHarry!" He blurted in one quick sentence, then pushed at Harry's shoulder. "Stop doing that." He growled out. But Harry quietly looked at him in perpetual amusement, just before taking Cisco's face in both hands and drowning him in a kiss.

Cisco loved kissing Harry. He never got tired of it. Of all the people he'd ever kissed, Harry was hands down the best. Eager and tender all at once, always using the right kind of passion and affection for the occasion. Like now. This was one of Harry's 'thank you' kisses. And, like with every kiss, Cisco melted eagerly right into him. When it ended, Cisco barely opened his eyes, feeling completely content and warm from head to toe.

"Love you, too, Ramon." Harry whispered, then winked before he stepped away, leaving Cisco standing in the bathroom doorway as though he hadn't just rocked Cisco's world with his mouth. Ramon just stood there, blinking, swaying lightly. That was when he realized Eureka was sitting in the hallway, looking up at him, her tail swishing lightly. And when he just kept staring at her, she meowed at him. Loudly.

Life was definitely not boring. Not with all the work they had to do. Not with Harry in his life.

And now a cat.

"Yeah," Cisco crouched down, scratching the cat on the top of the head, "I'll share him with you. But remember..." Cisco smiled, "I got dibs."

And Eureka simply closed her eyes and purred in agreement.


	12. Mint Medley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cisco is sick and ends up vibing in his sleep. But what he sees makes him question himself and Harry...

Cisco and colds were not a good mix. If anything could turn him into a big baby, colds were it.

As strange as it sounded, he'd much rather be puking his guts out. At least he'd be able to breathe. At the rate this most recent cold was going, he'd have to take stock in Kleenex and Dayquil. 

"We're oud of dee..." Cisco mumbled, his announcement of 'We're out of tea' slurred from being stuffed up, face planted flatly into one of the kitchen cabinets. He had a heavy sweater on, his hair tied back messily, a half-used roll of toilet paper stuffed in one pocket since he was out of actual tissues. Eureka was sitting on top of the refrigerator watching him through narrow slit eyes, tail swishing over the edge contentedly.

Their new apartment was completely unpacked. It was part of a warehouse converted into luxury apartments. Large bay windows, open concept floor plan, and more than enough space for everything Cisco had and what slight bit Harry had begun to accumulate.

"Get back in bed. Now." Harry ordered, coming up behind Cisco and pulling him back with one hand, closing the cabinet door with the other. Cisco groaned, turning around and face planting into Harry's chest instead.

"Bud I wand dee." Cisco managed. It was a really awesome thing that Harry could translate his stuffed-up ramblings, or else Cisco would have more issues than sinus problems. Harry wrapped both arms around him, resting his chin on Cisco's head.

"I'll go to the store, if you get back in bed." He sighed out, his voice half above a whisper. Harry hadn't even gone into the labs today. He should have been working on the miniature version of the particle accelerator they were retrofitting to help convert the energy produced when using the speed cannon. But instead, he'd put it off, again. First time was because of the move. This time because of Cisco.

"You know," Cisco lifted his head, forcing Harry to move back a bit and look down at him, "You don'd have do be here. You can go do work." He sniffled, watching Harry's eyes narrow and glisten with amusement.

"You sound like a muppet." Was his answer. "I'll get tea." He stepped back and took Cisco's hand, pulling him against his will (which wasn't all that hard at the moment) toward the bedroom, which was really just a section of the apartment cordoned off by one of those Japanese paper walls, keeping to the open concept. Harry didn't have to do much urging to get Cisco to crawl back into bed. He sank down into the mattress, letting out a moan as his achy body relaxed. Harry pulled the sheet and comforter up over Cisco's shivering form. "Go to sleep." Harry ordered, again. He was good at that. "I'll be back." He didn't wait for Cisco to reply, he just turned and disappeared. Cisco could hear him grab his keys and coat. Then a moment later heard the door open and close.

He smiled a little as he closed his eyes. 

Harry could get grumpy, or more grumpy than usual, when he didn't get to tinker or do science on a regular basis. So he was pleasantly surprised that his grouchy husband was willingly giving up his time to take care of a miserable Cisco. It made having this damn awful cold less terrible.

By the time he fell asleep, he was pretty sure he was running a fever again. He was freezing, but sweating lightly. And he'd practically splayed himself out over the entire bed because he was having a heck of a time getting comfortable. Eventually he was so deeply asleep that he dreamed about vibing into CCJitters. He felt like he was hovering, sort of like an out of body experience.

 _Jitters was packed, it was later afternoon and the office workers were getting their pick me ups to get through the rest of the day. Cisco let himself float around,_ 'This is so cooool...' _He whispered, but no one seemed to notice him. He probably could have shouted and no one would have heard._

_It took a minute or two before he saw a familiar figure. Harry, rifling through the shelf of gourmet tea boxes. He knew Cisco only bought the best teas, didn't just go to any store. Jitters kept a supply for sale of only the most delicious, and rather expensive teas. Normally, Harry gave him crap about it. Tea was tea was tea, according to Doctor Harrison Wells. So it made him secretly fuzzy with happiness to know that he was willing to get Cisco's favorite despite not agreeing with the hangup._

_He let himself hover over Harry, watching with amusement as Harry finally found the Mint Medley tea that Cisco liked best, sighing at the price, and turning toward the counter... only to bump right into a red-headed woman with a bagel on a plate, which promptly squished between the two of them as she let out a yelp, cream cheese smearing all over Harry's chest._

_Harry, as only Harry could, looked both instantly pissed off and controlled all at once. He let his hands fall to his sides, crystal blue eyes glaring over the woman's head as he held his temper in, still holding the box of tea. Then he was looking down at the white smeared on his black shirt._ "God, I am... I am just... sooo sorry!" _The redhead blurted out, setting the plate on the nearest table and scrambling to yank napkins out of a napkin holder. She then attempted to swipe at Harry's chest, which made him reach up and grab her hand, stilling her._

"It's fine." _He said gratingly._ "I'll take care of it." _He let her hand go, her eyes slightly wide, her face blushed and she swallowed._

"I'm not usually so clumsy, really. I..." _she paused, looking completely embarrassed,_ "Let me make it up to you?" _She motioned to the box of tea, Harry pausing as he dragged a napkin over his shirt, not really cleaning it, more like smearing it. He glanced at her._

"What?" _He asked, brows furrowing. And she smiled. Cisco had to admit, she was rather beautiful. And her smile only helped make her more so._

"The tea. I'd like to pay for your tea, to make up for the shirt." _She explained patiently, her voice sweet, green eyes glistening._

"Oh." _Harry responded, expression lightening slightly,_ "No." _He said, shaking his head and glancing down at his shirt in defeat. He'd have to deal with a now grayish-white spread stain. He looked back at her, her stature shorter than his,_ "It's fine. Really. But... thanks." _He muttered, looking down from her to the bagel which had fallen to the floor. He used the napkins to pick it up, tossing it onto the plate, gave the woman one last look and moved to stand in line to pay for the tea. The woman was still watching him at first, then she glanced at the ruined bagel and began rifling through her purse. She pulled out an old receipt and a pen and began writing something._

'Oh, don't you dare...' _Cisco said, his voice strangely echoing as he frowned at her. Then she put the pen back, threw out the bagel in a bin near the tea rack, and came up behind Harry, touching his back ever so gently._ 'Nu-uh, ginger devil woman! Don't you see the ring on his finger?!' _Cisco growled out, feeling... wait, what was he feeling? He frowned more, watching as Harry turned, looking down at her._

"Look, I... I don't usually do this." _She said, blushing even brighter than before,_ "But here." _She held the receipt out to him._

'Don't do it, Harry. Don't take it...' _Cisco blurted. But Harry obviously couldn't hear him. He took it, oblivious to what it might be. She tucked some of her brilliant red hair behind one ear._

"Call me, if you feel like letting me make all this up to you." _She motioned to his shirt quickly, then flashed a bright smile and hurried away. Harry stood there, looking clearly dumbfounded. He blinked, staring down at the name 'Camila Riley' and a phone number scrawled out on the back of the receipt. And then Cisco woke up._

Cisco startled awake, feeling really strange. 

His fever was gone, and he felt somewhat less like a brick had been stuffed into his sinuses, but that dream... it hadn't felt like a dream. It felt like he'd actually been there, floating around, watching some redhead flirt with his husband. He sat up, coughing lightly, looking around groggily. How long had he been out? 

"Harry?" He called out, pulling the covers back. It was awfully quiet. Maybe he hadn't been asleep that long. Maybe Harry was still at the store. When he found the apartment empty except for Eureka who had curled up in the bathroom sink of all places, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and curled up on the recliner. He texted Harry, _'Where are you?'_ A moment later, the phone dinged with Harry's answer.

_'Almost home.'_

Cisco set the phone down on one of the boxes that had all his DVD's inside and he frowned, staring at nothing in particular. He was trying to convince himself that it had all been a dream. That it was because he'd been running a fever. That he hadn't actually vibed Harry at Jitters. And he'd almost managed to persuade himself, until Harry came back, a Jitters bag in his hand, and a splotch of dried up and wiped cream cheese on his chest. All Cisco could do was stare, mouth slightly open, brows raised in clear surprise and disbelief. 

"No way." He whispered. And suddenly all sorts of awful thoughts rampaged through Cisco's head. Thoughts that, unfortunately, Ramon had from time to time. Like Harry couldn't possibly be happy with him. That someday Harry might realize he'd made a terrible mistake by marrying him. That Harry would leave him when he figured out that Cisco was just not worth the trouble. He swallowed, stifling those thoughts down harshly, choosing instead to dwell on the fact that what he'd dreamed -no, what he'd vibed had actually happened.

Harry peeled his jacket off, hanging it on the rack by the door and tossing his keys on the island counter in the kitchen. He set the paper bag on the counter, pulling out the mint medley tea box. And Cisco practically bounced out of the chair, crossing the apartment and grabbing the box right out of Harry's hand. 

"Not possible." He blurted, sounding much more like himself and less like he was stuffed with cotton balls. Harry just stood there, hand dropping, brows raised.

"Ramon...?" He said, using Cisco's name as half a question. Cisco froze for a moment, then looked at Harry's chest, setting the box down on the counter.

"Bagel. Cream cheese. Redhead." Cisco intoned. And Harry simply went still.

"How did you-" he didn't finish the question, a realization coming over his features. "You vibed." He said, as though that explained everything.

"Not on purpose!" Cisco blurted, feeling suddenly defensive and not knowing why. "I was asleep and I thought I was dreaming and you were at Jitters at then that woman... that woman-" he rambled so fast that Harry reached out and put his hands on both of Cisco's shoulders to still him. Cisco clamped his mouth shut.

"Ramon, relax." Harry said, so damn calm. _Ugh_. Cisco stepped away from him.

"Dude, I've never vibed like that before. It felt like I was out of my body, and I was floating around, and I could see and hear everything!" he motioned to his head with his hands open, pacing, "But no one could see or hear me. And I saw," he turned, pointing accusingly at Harry, "That cream cheese loving ginger gave you her number! I saw you take it!" Harry just stood there, letting Cisco rant and rave and accuse. He didn't even seem perturbed. If anything, Harry looked quietly amused. "Say something!" Cisco blurted, crossing his arms over his chest. And Harry shook his head softly, grabbing the tea box off the counter and rounding the island to the electric kettle beside the sink.

"We'll call Snow later and tell her about the vibe. It was probably because of your fever. Something we'll have to look into." He said nonchalantly, pulling a mug out of the cabinet before flipping the switch on the half full kettle. Then he began to peel the wrapping off the tea box.

"That... that's it?" Cisco breathed out, angry and feeling slightly hurt as he walked over to Harry, watching his hands open the tea box, fingers pulling out a sweet, minty smelling tea bag and setting it into the mug. Cisco reached forward and grabbed Harry by the arm, forcing him to turn slightly. Harry looked down at him, and the bastard looked smug. Even more amused than before. Harry didn't say anything at first, just leaned forward and pressed his lips to Cisco's, warm and soothing and for a moment erasing all logic from Cisco's head.

"I threw it out, Ramon. The number." He said when he pulled back a moment later. "I didn't know you were the jealous type." He remarked, smiling lightly. And Cisco suddenly felt all sorts of stupid.

"I'm not..." He furrowed his brows, then looked at the tea box, "Am I?" He muttered, watching as Harry poured the now hot water into the mug.

"Apparently." Harry replied, setting the kettle back down. "And it's adorable." He added. Then he put some sugar into the mug, stirred it, and held it out to Cisco. "But you don't need to be jealous." He stepped beyond Cisco, out of the kitchen, peeling his shirt off as he went. Cisco just stared down at the hot liquid in his mug, hands wrapped around it, soaking in the warmth. He stood like that, staring down, feeling idiotic and childish. 

Of course Harry would throw out the number. Harry would never do anything to hurt him. Hell, he'd given up his entire life on his Earth with his daughter for Cisco. He put aside Science, which meant a hell of a lot to him, just to take care of Cisco's sickly ass. He'd even bought the expensive gourmet tea Cisco loved, even if he didn't agree with it. Harry would never cheat on him. And Cisco felt deflated for even thinking it was possible. Harry came up behind Cisco a few moments later, hands massaging his shoulders gently, and Cisco then sighed, leaning back into Harry's chest. 

"I'm sorry." He said, sniffling. Stupid cold. Stupid fever. Stupid vibe. "I don't know why I got so flustered." Harry chuckled then, and Cisco turned in his arms, setting the mug on the counter to look at him. Harry's arms slid around him, holding him against his frame comfortably.

"You're sick. You get a free pass." Harry's gravelly voice smoothed over him. "But if it makes you feel better, Ramon, I don't have any reason to keep some random woman's number. I have no reason to flirt with anyone else. I'm happy right where I am." One of Harry's hands came up, two fingers catching wayward strands of Cisco's hair and moving them away from his face. "With you."

Cisco felt fuzzy again, just like that. Harry was good that way, making him feel better without really trying. He felt himself smiling, then faceplanted into Harry's chest again. He was wearing a clean shirt now. And he smelled like Old Spice. Yay, he could smell again! Take that, cold. 

"What about the vibe? Not sure what good it does to pop out of my head when I'm sick." He mumbled into Harry's shirt. The taller man breathed in deeply and let it out slow.

"Come on, let's go watch some crappy sci fi. We'll figure out the vibe thing later." Harry said, stepping back and moving away toward the television.

"Really?" Cisco said a little too excitedly, grabbing his mug and trailing after Harry, who gave him one silent nod and turned the flat screen that hung on the wall. "Oooh, we so have to watch The Fifth Element. That's on my list of movies you haven't seen yet."

A few moments later, the movie was playing and Cisco was curled up against Harry on the couch. But he wasn't watching the movie, not yet. He was studying Harry's profile, the fine lines on his face, the dark swirls of blue in his eyes, the soft set of his lips as he sat there with an arm around Cisco and an arm draped over the back of the couch, relaxed and at ease. 

Harry was right. Cisco had nothing to worry about. 

He rested his head on Harry's shoulder after taking a long sip of tea. He knew Harry was going to hate this movie. But he also knew he would sit through the whole thing. Harry would complain a little, maybe roll his eyes from time to time, even make annoyed sounds. But that was half the fun for Cisco. And proof, too, of how much Harry loved him. Because as much as he might hate these movies, he'd suffer through them because Cisco liked them. Because he was the one guy who would obviously sacrifice anything for Cisco. That was really all the proof that Cisco needed to know what they had was real and not about to be threatened by some stranger. And right then, that thought made Cisco feel better than anything else ever could.

"I should get sick more often." Cisco said, smiling, curling his free hand around Harry's thigh comfortably. Harry just tightened his arm around him.

"Shut up, Ramon. I'm watching your terrible movie." Harry retorted. And Cisco laughed.

Yeah. He was definitely feeling better.


	13. Battles Won

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old adversary of Thawne's captures both Harry and Cisco. But this may be an encounter Harry won't survive...

Harry's head was hanging, chin to chest. But he was breathing. He was moving slightly.

That was good, great, wonderful and damn near miraculous after the amount of electricity that had been coursing through the man's body. Cisco hadn't fared much better, to be honest. He hadn't gotten nearly as much of a shock. But he was feeling the strange tingling sensation in his limbs, the heaviness in his joints, the heat beneath his skin that was way too far from pleasant. 

"Harry, man... wake up..." He pleaded for about the hundredth time since he'd come-to. Cisco didn't know where they were, just that they were in trouble. Real, serious trouble.

Fighting metas never came without risks. It was part of the unwritten job description. But going up against a mad scientist, who had about as many gadgets and brains to spare as their little rag tag team did was a whole other ball game. 

Doctor Mark Townes had been disgraced in the scientific community years before the accelerator explosion for doing unsanctioned research on humans. After he spent several years in prison, there wasn't a single company or lab that would work with him. All thanks to the other Wells -Thawne, who had single-handedly destroyed the man's career. Guess the evil speedster had some morals after all. And of course, Townes spent that last years since the explosion trying to find a way to get back at Wells. Only that Wells, Thawne, was gone. Dead. No more. Try telling that to a guy with illusions of grandeur and a pension for electrocuting people first and asking questions later.

He'd ambushed both Cisco and Harry in the S.T.A.R. Labs parking lot, long after quitting time. They'd finally managed to get a working computer model for the ring that shrunk Reverse Flash's suit. It had only taken them forever. But they'd worked till nearly one in the morning when they figured out what the roadblock was that kept them from getting very far. They were both tired, looking forward to going home and collapsing in bed. But they barely got within five feet of Cisco's car when something round and metal rolled in front of Harry. The resulting burst of electricity hit him head on, and Cisco got the aftershock. Both of them were down for the count before either one of them knew what had happened.

It didn't take long after waking up for Cisco to put two and two together. He knew all about Townes. The guy had sent more than a few death threats to the other Wells over the years. And he even tried to oust him on live television, which had backfired miserably considering that Townes was even more disgraced than Thawne had turned out to be. So when Cisco came-to and saw a wall littered with newspaper clippings, internet stories and tons of pictures of Townes’ rise and fall and of Thawne's rise and fall as Wells, Cisco pretty much guessed what had happened. The fact that they'd been taken out with some sort of electrical grenade also fit the puzzle. Townes loved manipulating electricity for all sorts of things.

What sucked the most about all this was Harry didn't deserve what was happening now. He wasn't Thawne. He didn't even know about Townes. But he was going to end up paying for Thawne's evil deeds. Again. God, Cisco hated that asshole more all the time, even though he was dead. 

"Harry, dammit, this is not the time for sleeping!" He harshly whispered, far more worried than he sounded. They were both tied up, to chairs. Their legs were tied with industrial zip ties. And their hands and arms were pulled behind them tightly, zip tied to the back of the metal chairs. Not only that, Cisco's wrists had something cold on them. Hard. They felt like handcuffs, but whatever they were, they weren't letting him vibe. Which was a huge problem.

They didn't have much of a chance of anyone rescuing them anytime soon, either. 

It was the middle of the night. And the attack had happened so fast, he couldn't push the panic button on his phone. When it was clear that Harry wasn't going to wake up just yet, Cisco distracted himself by taking in his surroundings. It looked like a warehouse. Smelled like one, too. Old and musty and moldy and stale. Why did the bad guys always have to hole up in places like this? Seriously, why couldn't just one have like... a luxury condo or somethin? 

There was the wall with the depressing collage of clippings, but it was built out of pallets and wooden crates. There was Harry in a chair about ten feet away. There was himself in a chair. There were five tables with all sorts of tech and science instruments, tools and computers. There was a cot nearby, made neatly, military style. Other than that, it was just dust, broken windows, and the distant sound of a train outside.

It was daybreak out, with the strange gray light of a muggy, raining morning filtering through the whitewashed and broken windows overhead. It was cool, but not enough to be chilly. Maybe Barry would be heading to the lab by now. Maybe he'd realize something was amiss because Cisco's car was still in the lot. Maybe he'd check the security feed. A whole lot of maybes that Cisco couldn't count on. 

It was strange that Townes hadn't just outright killed Harry, which Cisco was really happy about but also worried about. It meant that Townes had something else in mind. Something probably very unpleasant. And when that idea popped into Cisco's head, he began straining against the zip ties. They dug into the skin of his wrists painfully, but he kept at it. If he could loosen them, maybe just a little, maybe he could get a hand free. Ugh, more maybes.

"I wouldn't bother with that." A very distinctly male voice said from behind Cisco, and he froze, hands in fists, wrists feeling raw. "They're industrial strength. The sort they use for wrapping cable on telephone poles. It'd take a very strong, sharp blade to get those off. And you'll find," the voice came closer, the sound of easy footfalls closing in on him, "Your powers are useless. Those cuffs are sending constant minuscule electric pulses into your hands. You may not feel it, but it's helping make your abilities inert."

Doctor Mark Townes wasn't a tall man. Average, by most standards. He wasn't exactly fit, either, with a little bit of a ponch. He was balding in the back, his graying hair barely hanging in there for the long haul. And he looked haggard, dark shadows on his cheeks, and the whites of his eyes were tinged yellow. Was he sick? He also looked like he could pass for a homeless guy. His blue jeans were more like faded gray. He was wearing a ratty brown sweatshirt with a tear in the side. And one of his boots was being held together with duct tape.

"Not what you expected, eh, Mister Ramon?" He smiled, but it was tight and forced as he passed Cisco, stopping at one of the tables with his back to him and Harry. "This is what disgrace and a criminal record does to a man." He kept talking, and Cisco strained some more. If he could, he'd will these damn zip ties off. Townes’ shoulders seemed to shrug in unison, then he turned around with what looked like a cattle prod in one hand. Shit. "I'm sorry you have to be here for this. It wasn't exactly part of the plan. But I couldn't wait any longer." He said, motioning to one yellowed eye. "Liver's failing me now. And I can't go out unless," he motioned to Harry, "He goes first."

"No, man... you don't understand. That's not... _he's_ not..." Cisco stammered, watching Townes move toward a metal bucket near the collage wall. How did he explain that Harry wasn't the Wells that Townes thought he was? "Wait, what are you doing?" He stilled in his chair, watching as Townes picked the bucket up and poured water over Harry's head.

Harry woke with a start and a gasp, then a wince and deep ragged breath, blinking against the water now dripping down his face. 

It took a moment for his eyes to focus. It was a bit marvelous, how fast Harry's mind worked. One moment he was confused as hell, then his intelligent mind sparked and put everything together in a matter of seconds. And anger, real and passionate flooded his features when he saw Cisco tied up. "Ramon." He grated out, his voice raspy from the electric shock they'd both received hours earlier. But that was all that he got out before Townes suddenly stuck the end of the cattle prod into Harry's shoulder and pushed the button. Harry grit his teeth, eyes squeezing shut, head going back, the veins in his neck bulging as a strangled sound escaped his throat. The cattle prod must have been juiced up, because that obviously wasn't some small shock Harry was feeling.

"STOP!" Cisco yelled, "STOP IT!" Panic set in, adrenaline flooding his veins, wrists turning bloody as he tried harder to get out of the zip ties. Townes did stop, though, raising a brow at Cisco. Harry breathed out relief, chest heaving. "God, just... stop, please! You don't know what you're doing!" Cisco urged, his voice thick with emotion. "He's not the Harrison Wells you knew!" He demanded. Townes lowered the cattle prod, sighing. Harry blinked, his jaw clenching.

"You're going to tell me he's changed, that he's a good man now?" Townes paced toward Cisco.

"Ramon, shut up. Right now." Harry growled out, straining against his own bonds.

"No one changes that much, Mister Ramon. I know you admire the man, that he's your mentor. But you can't deny the terrible things he's done. He's killed people, changed them into metahumans, changed you into one!" Townes rambled, motioning toward Cisco, then turning to point at Harry. "They called me a monster because of you. But not even my work could compare to the damage you've done." And he took two quick steps forward and jabbed the prod into Harry's stomach, sending another rush of electricity through him. 

It was so painful to watch, Harry writhing in pain, but refusing to cry out. He wasn't about to show any weakness to this man. And Cisco knew it. Townes pulled the prod away, watching Harry breathe heavily, Harry growling out a slow sound as he tried to compose himself.

"Let... let Cisco go." Harry breathed then, looking up at Townes, meeting his gaze with steel in his eyes. "Your problem isn't with him, it's with me. Let him go." Harry ordered. There was no weakness in his voice, no pain. Just anger, just a callous and cool rage. Townes stared at Harry, standing still, something strange passing over his features. "You've got me. Do what you want with me. Cisco doesn't need to be here."

"Why?" Townes asked then, flatly, turning to look at Cisco for a moment. "You can't tell me he means anything to you. He's just another chess piece, a pawn to you. Like everyone you've ever been close to or worked with." He looked back at Harry. "Just like I was. So what does it matter to you whether or not I let him go?" Harry breathed heavily, nostrils flaring, his eyes landing on Cisco for a moment.

"Because this is between us." Harry let his eyes fall back on Townes. Harry had no idea who this man was, but he was smart enough to know this was all about Thawne. And he could play the part. Harry had done it before. "We're the monsters here. The world won't suffer our loss. But Cisco has a chance to do better in our wake. Don't let him perish for our mistakes." 

Townes grew quiet. Turning again, he looked at Cisco, studying him. Cisco felt his heart hammering in his chest, tears stinging in his eyes. He knew exactly what Harry was trying to do. He was trying to save him. But Ramon knew that if Townes let him go, he'd probably never see Harry alive again. And that was just not an option.

"I'll let him go." Townes said, giving his attention back to Harry, "After we're finished here." And again with the cattle prod, right in Harry's chest...

* * *

Harry wasn't moving anymore, awake but completely out of energy. His breathing was so labored that Cisco could hardly see the rise and fall of his chest.

Townes was laying on his cot, exhausted after only twenty minutes of electrocuting Harry over and over again. His liver disease must have been pretty far along, because he puked his guts out in the bucket before passing out. The cattle prod was discarded on one of the tables. And for the first time in what felt like far too long, it was quiet. There were tears, both wet and dry on Cisco's face. His wrists were agonizingly raw. He just couldn't struggle anymore. He was going to have awful scars once they got out of this. And they had to. Both him and Harry. They just had to survive this.

"Harry... please look at me..." he nearly whispered, staring at Harry's hanging head. Slowly he looked up, his blue eyes watery. His skin was graying around the edges. His hair was still damp from the water. His forehead was beaded in sweat. "Don't leave me, man..." Cisco choked out. Harry swallowed, blinking slowly at him.

"It's okay, Ramon." He said, his raspy voice even more grated than usual. "You'll be okay."

"No, don't do that. Don't you dare do that!" His voice shook as a few more tears fell. "Okay, don't... just... we're both going to be okay. _Both of us_. We're going to get out of here, and you're going to heal up, and we're both going to be okay!" He choked out. And he wanted to believe it. God, he did. But the more the minutes ticked by, the more he knew the words were just words. And this was turning into a very unwinnable situation. Harry smiled at him. It was tired and sad, but affectionate. And it made a sob escape Cisco's throat.

"Allen will figure it out. He'll find you." Harry continued. Cisco began shaking his head, squeezing his eyes shut. "Ramon, I'm not sure... how much more my heart can take." And Cisco stilled. He knew Harry wasn't speaking metaphorically. The human body could only handle so much. Eventually, the heart would fail from an overload of electric current. Or damage would be done to the heart that there was just no fixing. Both were realities Cisco was simply not willing to face.

"I can't lose you, Harry. Please." He felt himself sobbing, his head lowering. The raw pain in his wrists was nothing compared to this. But Harry was calm. So terribly calm. He let out a slow breath, catching Cisco's attention once more.

"I love you, Cisco. Remember that." Harry said firmly, but Cisco caught the crack in his voice.

"Well, that's certainly unexpected." Townes said, both Cisco and Harry turning to see him standing now, hands in his pockets, watching them. Harry glared daggers. Cisco's only thought was he had to buy time.

"Please, stop this. You _have_ to stop this. I'm trying to tell you, he's not the Harrison Wells you knew. That was someone else. And I don't mean figuratively. There are multiple universes, multiple earths. The Wells you knew is dead. This Wells," he nodded his head in Harry's direction, "Is from what we call Earth-2." Townes’ eyebrows raised slowly. "He had nothing to do with what happened to you, I swear!" Cisco urged, desperate for Townes to understand. The man looked from Cisco to Harry, taking slow steps toward him, studying Harry, brows furrowing. "Please... please believe me..." Cisco added, wincing slightly at the pain in his wrists as he pulled on the zip ties again.

"I have to admit, you are... different." Townes said, pulling his hands out of his pockets and glancing at Cisco over his shoulder, "But what you're saying sounds like science fiction at best. I'm sorry, Mister Ramon. But," he shook his head, and moved toward the table, "This doesn't change anything."

"No, nonono..." Cisco muttered, tugging harder.

"Cisco, stop." Harry told him. "Just stop. Listen to me." Cisco grit his teeth, tugging, but met Harry's gaze with his own. "I wouldn't change a thing. Not a minute. My time with you has been the best of my life." He smiled lightly, sighing a little. "Don't ever doubt that." Cisco felt himself going still, numb, aching deep in his chest with all the things he should be saying but couldn't get out. And then Townes turned, a strange looking paddle in his hand, a machine on the table on and humming.

"NO!" Cisco yelled, just before Townes was about to slap the paddle onto Harry's neck.

But the paddle never touched him. 

Townes was sent flying, slamming into a concrete wall, sparks of yellow electricity turned into Barry in full Flash gear. He skidded to a halt, and Harry heaved a breath as though he'd been holding it in. "You guys okay?!" Barry blurted, moving for Cisco first, vibrating his hand to break the zip ties and the cuffs.

"Not even a little." Cisco grimaced and pulled his wrists in front of him. They were bleeding, bruised and raw. He stood, though, ignoring the ache in his joints and pain in his wrists, moving toward Harry just after Barry. Barry released him, but Harry stood very slowly, wavering. Barry grabbed onto Harry's arm to steady him.

"Nice timing, Allen." Harry said, looking exhausted and weak. Harry wasn't looking at Barry, though. He was looking at Cisco. He took an unsteady step forward, hands reaching forward and taking Cisco's forearms gently. He winced slightly when he saw how hurt his wrists were. But Cisco didn't care about his wrists in that moment. He just stepped into Harry, _his_ Harry, and hugged him as tight as he could. Harry hugged him back, resting his cheek against Cisco's head.

"We need to get you two looked at." Barry urged gently, watching the two of them. Cisco didn't want to, but he pulled back, Harry wavering almost instantly.

"That's probably a good idea." Cisco said, then motioned to Harry. "Take him first."

"Ramon, your wrists..." Harry started, but Cisco stepped back more.

"Nope, uh uh. You're the one who was made into a human live wire. Barry, take him." Ramon ordered. Barry glanced from one man to the other.

"What about him?" He asked, pointing a red gloved hand at the unconscious Townes.

"I'll tie him up. Just go." Cisco said, and before Harry could protest any further, Barry sped him out of sight.

It was quiet again, and Cisco found himself staring at the chair Harry had been tied up in. And slowly, that pain in his chest bubbled up and spilled out. Cisco let out a sob, covering his face in his shaking hands. He'd watched Townes electrocute Harry over and over, nearly taking the man he loves away from him. For what? For a dead man's transgressions? He let his hands fall, forcing himself to take some deep breaths and began rifling around the tables for something to tie Townes up with. He settled on some strong electrical cords and moved over to the still but breathing form of their assaulter.

Townes didn't look like much. Hell, he wasn't anything but a dying man with a grudge and an ax to grind. But he'd nearly torn it all down. He'd nearly taken all of Cisco's happiness and burned it to ashes. And Cisco wanted to hate him, wanted to hold a grudge of his own. But... staring at him now, he couldn't. Because all he saw was a waste. A waste of so much potential and life. And a waste of Cisco's time. 

He tied him up, and Barry came back to take him to S.T.A.R. Labs. Whatever became of Townes after that, Cisco just... didn't want to know...

* * *

Harry's heart was weakened. 

In the grand scheme of things, it could have been so much worse. Thankfully, with the tech they had at hand and Caitlin's know how, Harry was going to make a full recovery. But it would take some time. Same for Cisco's wrists. He touched the white bandages on them softly, staring at Harry's naked torso. 

There were burn marks and bruising from the cattle prod in several places. There was also a strange sort of burn on Harry's stomach and left ribs from the initial electrical grenade that Townes had used to catch them in the first place, it looked a lot like red veiny branches. Harry was sore, and stiff, and moving so much slower than Cisco would have liked. But Harry didn't let it stop him.

Caitlin had insisted that Harry recover quietly, at home, for at least a week. And for a change, Harry hadn't even argued. Cisco watched as he attempted to put a clean t-shirt on, limbs moving stiffly, soft pain on his features. He'd just showered and was getting ready for bed. They both needed sleep, both needed time. Cisco came up behind him, slipping his hands gently onto Harry's hips. 

"Let me help." Cisco offered softly. Harry paused, then nodded, moving away from Cisco to sit on the bed. Harry handed the shirt to him. And Cisco slipped it over his head, then helped him get his arms in the sleeves before sitting beside him. After a breath of a moment, Harry's hand moved to rest warmly on Cisco's leg.

"I'm sorry, Ramon." He whispered. And the sound in his voice was... painful. But not physically. Cisco looked at his profile. Harry was staring at the ground, his eyes wet, a single tear streaming down his cheek. It stung something deep inside of Cisco.

"Harry," he whispered back, "This wasn't your fault. It was Thawne's." He attempted to explain. But Harry closed his eyes, shaking his head softly.

"It always comes back to that. To him. A man with my face did awful things, so why shouldn't I take the blame?" He sighed out. Cisco felt his own tears threaten. Harry's eyes opened softly. "Look at what happened to you, Ramon..." Harry's fingers moved to Cisco's bandaged wrists very gently before he met Cisco's stare. "How is this not my fault?"

"Because you're not him, you're not Thawne. You're not even close. I wouldn't be with you if you were." Cisco didn't stop his own tears from falling, and he turned slightly, lifting his hands to hold Harry's face, thumbs stroking Harry's skin. "God, Harry... you gotta know, no matter what Thawne may have done using your face, you don't deserve any of the blame." Harry gave a shaken sigh, curling his arms around Cisco, hugging him. And Cisco moved in easily, burying his face into Harry's neck and shoulder. "I love you. I love you so much." Ramon choked out, and Harry's arms got even tighter around him.

The past had a way of coming back to haunt them on more than one occasion. And it was never easy. It could take its toll. But this time... this time had been bad. This time had cracked something in Harry. He was so strong all the time. He took things in stride and made sure he was always there for Cisco, always keeping things from falling apart. He was a rock, even when he didn't have to be. He took the brunt of the fallout and tried to protect everyone else. But for the first time, Cisco was seeing that it was taking a toll on Harry. That the guilt, the blame for what Thawne had done here, and what Harry himself had done on Earth-2, was steadily eating away at him.

He held onto Harry for a long time, just letting him breathe, silent tears escaping Harry's hard fought control. Eventually, though, Harry pulled away, sighing, and wincing as his injuries protested. 

"Come on, lay down. We need to sleep." Cisco whispered. A moment later, they were both under the covers, face to face. Harry had a hand on Cisco's cheek, stroking gently.

"I love you, Cisco." He whispered, so much emotion in his voice despite the soft tone. His eyelids were heavy, his crystal blue eyes watching Cisco every second. "Thank you..." Cisco slid his hand around Harry's waist, resting it against his lower back.

"For what?" Ramon asked quietly.

"For loving me, too." He responded. And Cisco could only sigh. Gently, he pressed his lips to Harry's. The kiss they shared was tender, so very real and longing. They were too tired to be passionate, but there was enough emotion in that subtle exchange that they didn't need to be. A few minutes later, Harry was fast asleep, his hand having slid to Cisco's upper arm and resting heavily. Ramon watched him quietly, long after Harry's breaths became deep and easy. He scooted gently closer, so as not to wake him, and he rested his forehead against Harry's.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." He whispered before closing his eyes.

And he meant it. Their life would never be easy or without dangerous moments. It would never be simple or without complications. But Harry was why it was all worth it. Harry made Cisco feel more wanted, safe, loved and cared for than anyone ever had in his entire life. And he got to do the same for him. They might never be everyone else's idea of a typical couple. But Cisco didn't care. Because they worked. And they were perfect for each other. And he knew, now more than ever, that there was nothing they couldn't make it through. As long as they were together...


	14. What's Forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new meta has Harry seeing ghosts, which brings forth something Harry never revealed to Cisco.

"That's not... Ramon, don't..." Aaaaand more sparks. 

Harry stepped back with something between a sigh and a growl and turned, dragging everything off the end of the nearest table with his hand, items clanging loudly, before resting both of his hands on his hips, glaring at the floor like he could turn it to ash with his stare alone. Cisco stood right where he was, hands up as he waited for the sparks to stop spitting out of the sonic regulator they were attempting to build.

"That totally wasn't my fault." He said after the last spark flew, letting his hands fall. "Maybe we should go back to the drawing board." Harry looked at him, his signature glare narrowed on Cisco's features. "Or not..." He mumbled, stepping out from around the table to see the newest mess Harry made. This wasn't the first time they'd disagreed on a project, or Harry's impatience caused a mess or two. 

It most definitely wouldn't be the last.

"I told you not to connect the polarized end to the meter." Harry let out raspily, crouching down to start picking up the objects his tantrum had tossed to the floor. Cisco sighed, bending over to help.

"Right. Yep. You did. And I said we should be using a magnetic conductor, not a transverse wave-" Cisco stopped mid-sentence when Harry suddenly stood up, stepping back like he was desperately trying to put space between himself and something else. Harry only stopped when his back hit the plexiboard, breathing heavily, eyes a bit wide. "Harry?" Cisco asked softly, standing slowly, forgetting all about the stuff on the floor. Harry glanced at him, swallowing.

"You... you didn't see that..." he stated more than asked, and Cisco raised both brows, looking around the otherwise empty lab.

"See what?" He asked, timidly taking a few steps toward Harry, brows furrowing. "Damn, are you okay?" He asked, realizing that Harry looked not only confused but... worried? Scared?

"You're telling me you didn't see that..." he began moving his hands, trying to make a shape in the air, " _Thing_." He stated harshly, as though that explained everything. "It was like a..." And he blinked, jaw suddenly clenching, hands falling to his sides. "I have to go." And he began moving away from Cisco and toward the hall.

"What, no... wait!" Cisco blurted, heading after him and grabbing Harry by the arm, stopping him firmly. "What the hell, Harry?!" He demanded. Harry had taken his glasses off and was doing everything he could not to look at him. Cisco moved in front of him, reaching up and literally grabbing Harry's chin, forcing him to look at him. "What is going on?" He enunciated every word. He had never seen Harry act like this before. It was unsettling in a way Cisco didn't understand.

"Nothing." Harry said quietly, reaching up and pulling Cisco's hand away. "I'm just..." he paused, "Tired." And he let Cisco go.

"Tired, my pretty ass. You bolted, man. Don't tell me it's nothing." He raised his voice, not really able to help it. Harry clenched his jaw again. Cisco could see thoughts passing through his eyes, dark, disconcerting. "Tell me." Cisco crossed his arms, refusing to relent. " _Right now_." Harry let out a slow breath, averting his eyes momentarily, then reached a hand up and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I don't know, Ramon. I don't know what happened." He finally said, letting his hand fall and pushing past Cisco without any further hesitation. Only Harry didn't get far. He got maybe three or four steps, then backpedaled. Cisco nearly face planted into Harry's back because he'd gone after him again. A rush of cold fled through Harry, straight into Cisco. Frigid, chilling straight to the bone. Both he and Harry let out gasps. But it passed as soon as it happened, leaving them both breathing shakily. "Please..." Harry whispered, not moving, Cisco's hands balled in the back of Harry's sweater. "Tell me you saw it this time." Cisco's mouth was dry. Everything in him felt strangely violated and chilled. 

"Nope. Your beanstalk self was in the way. But..." he swallowed, slowly peering around Harry's side. "I sure as hell felt it."

* * *

"So... you guys saw a ghost?" Barry asked, half amused.

"Don't be stupid, Allen. Ghosts don't exist." Harry snapped, arms crossed over his chest. Barry's brows raised.

"Right, but… listen to what you just said. A dark, see-through, faceless figure that went right through you and turned the air cold." Barry continued. Caitlin was standing there quietly and shrugged.

"It does sound ghost-like. How do we know it's not possible? I mean, with everything we've seen..." she let that hang there, hands clasped before her.

"Look, whatever it is, it's not a ghost." Cisco demanded defensively, moving to stand beside his husband, a hand settling on Harry's lower back warmly.

"Okay, so... the not-ghost... didn't hurt you guys. Did it say anything? Did it... do anything else?" Barry asked, honestly trying to understand, but still terribly amused by the idea.

"No. It was just there. And then it wasn't." Harry sighed out, moving slightly into Cisco naturally. Barry and Caitlin exchanged glances, then she moved toward Harry and Cisco.

"Maybe I should run some tests." She said kindly.

"You think we're making it up? That we're having some sort of shared delusion?" Cisco became even more defensive. Harry uncrossed his arms, snaking one around Cisco's form.

"Ramon." He said, one word. Just his name, and Cisco was sighing, tension he hadn't realized was there easing up.

"Not at all. But there has to be an explanation for what you experienced. And maybe it's a physiological one." She offered logically.

"Right. Sorry." Cisco mumbled. Barry's phone dinged. He pulled it out of his pocket.

"I have to head back to CCPD. But let me know what you guys figure out, okay?" He said, smiling, patting Harry on the shoulder before speeding off.

"Give me a few minutes to set some things up." Caitlin smiled and went to the med lab, leaving Cisco and Harry standing in the Cortex.

"This is crazy. Which is saying something considering crazy is usually normal for us." Cisco said, and Harry smiled lightly. But there was something about his eyes that was unnerving him. Harry was keeping his real thoughts hidden. And Cisco turned to fully face him. "What's going on in that genius brain of yours?" He asked, stepping into him and gripping Harry's hips. He didn't really move, just looking down at Cisco with a terribly calm expression. "Seriously, Harry... talk to me." Harry sighed then, his hands finally coming up and mirroring Cisco's.

"When I saw it the first time... that thing..." he shook his head a little, "I thought I was hallucinating."

"Why would you be hallucinating?" Cisco asked with a slight smile. Harry searched his eyes.

"Early onset dementia runs in my family." Harry said so plainly that it didn't even sound bad. But that _was_. That was... startling. Harry had never once mentioned that before. All the time they'd been together, everything they'd talked about and confided in one another, and not once had Harry ever brought it up.

"Jesus, Harry..." Cisco breathed out, brows furrowing. "How come you never..." Harry pulled him in to hug him, and Cisco simply let him. Harry's warm body surrounded him, the smell of clean skin and Old Spice filled Cisco's senses. 

"I was tested for it on my Earth and the results were inconclusive. I chose not to worry about it. And I suppose... I simply forgot to mention it." Cisco sighed into Harry's chest, holding on to him. He was quiet for a short while, then cracked a slow smile. 

"You can test for crazy on your Earth?" He quipped. And Harry chuckled lightly. It was always good to hear Harry laugh.

"Yes. In most cases." He responded. "I'm sorry." Short and sweet, like usual. But it was enough. Cisco lifted his head to catch Harry's gaze.

"I forgive you. And if it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure you're not going nutty." Cisco grinned, and Harry watched him with amusement.

"Oh?" Harry tilted his head lightly. And Cisco nodded.

"I felt that thing, too. So unless we're both going crazy at the same time, I think you're safe." He explained. And Harry seemed to accept it. 

Moments later, Caitlin was running them through a battery of tests. As Cisco sat there, letting Caitlin do her thing, he couldn't help but let his mind wander. In the grand scheme of things, this wasn't a huge omission on Harry's part. But what if there were other things Harry hadn't told him? How many secrets did Earth-2's Harrison Wells still have? Should Cisco even say anything, risk an argument, risk hurting Harry by making it seem like he didn't trust him? Or should he just let it go? 

He found himself watching Harry quietly. He was laying down on one of the gurney's, little pads on his temples reading his brainwaves. His eyes were closed, his hands clasped over his stomach. He looked... calm. Cisco wished he could feel that at ease and calm in situations like this. But his brain just didn't work that way. He was stuck between wanting to know if there was more Harry hadn't shared with him, or if he should play it safe and leave well enough alone.

Why couldn't anything just be simple?

* * *

Three days later and Specter was down for the count. 

Turned out the 'ghost' they'd experienced was a meta that was stealing any tech of value to sell to the highest bidder, and having a jolly time scaring the crap out of people while he was at it. They managed to catch Specter by using the very same sonic regulator they'd been working on the first time they'd seen him. No casualties, no injuries. And life quickly went back to normal. Or mostly.

Cisco was trying not to dwell on the fact that Harry might not have told him all that was important to know. But he had this unfortunate habit of dwelling. Endlessly. On the ‘what-ifs’ and ‘maybes’ and ‘whys.’ He was currently staring out one of the large bay windows in their bedroom area, watching the rain pour down through the tinted windows. He only had a bathrobe on, his hair damp from the long shower he'd taken. His arms were crossed, his mind wandering. He only snapped out of it when he felt a warm presence at his back. Harry's hands gripped Cisco's shoulders, massaging through the soft material. 

"You're quiet." Harry whispered near Cisco's ear. He closed his eyes, sighing at the strong feel of Harry's hands working at his tired muscles.

"Yeah. Sorry. Just... thinking." Cisco replied softly. Harry's hands slid down his arms, finding their way to Cisco's hips and turning him around. Cisco set his rear against the window, resting his hands on Harry's bare ribs. He was only wearing sweatpants.

"Talk to me." Harry urged gently, studying Cisco's face, a hand slipping into the damp strands of Cisco's hair. Cisco stared at him, studied his bare torso, and every line on Harry's face for the millionth time, memorized the dark specks in Harry's crystal blue eyes. God, he loved those eyes.

"I don't know how to say it without sounding paranoid." Cisco admitted. Harry's hand lowered back to Cisco's waist, his expression easy. Then he nodded.

"You're worried I'm keeping things from you." Harry simply stated and Cisco opened his mouth slightly.

"How did you..." Then he shook his head, "Am I that obvious?" And he planted his forehead into Harry's bare chest.

"No. I just know you." Harry curled his arms around Cisco, stepping closer. "I didn't mean to keep that from you, Ramon. I promise you, there's nothing else. I would never intentionally hide anything from you." Cisco made a mewling sound into Harry's chest, simply holding on to him, and then sighing.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled. Then he lifted his head, seeing Harry's soft smile. "Forgive my crazy?" He asked, offering a smile of his own.

"Always." Harry whispered, lowering his mouth to Cisco's. "As long as you forgive mine." Cisco felt fuzzy, warm, longing.

"Duh." He replied, and then closed the last inch of distance. 

Kissing Harry was always an experience. Sometimes fueled by passion, sometimes by need, sometimes by affection. Always laced with love. Like a drug. Their lips moved in unison, their tongues tasting and dancing like so many hundreds of times before. And Cisco knew Harry well enough to know where this particular kiss was heading. Especially when Harry untied Cisco's bathrobe and began to slide it off. 

"Woah, _waitwaitwait_..." Cisco breathed out, pulling his mouth away from Harry's. "Shouldn't we... close the curtains?" He mumbled, swallowing, his lips feeling tingly and goosebumps spreading on his exposed skin. There was only a mostly quiet, dark and rainy street below. And it was dimly lit inside. So if they put on a show, it wouldn't be a very easily visible one. But still... Harry's response was to smile, a possessive and heated smile Cisco knew by heart. And then Harry's hands pulled the bathrobe the rest of the way down, exposing Cisco's backside to the world. "Oooh, okay... right..." his breaths came quicker, his heart hammering in his chest. And Harry was just kissing him again, pressing him against the cold window, which sent shivers running up and down Cisco's spine.

Cisco had never really been into exhibitionism. In fact, if someone else he'd been with had wanted to do this in front of a large window, he'd have backed out. But that was the past, and this was Harry. And he had to admit, it was exciting. The idea that someone might see them? It made him feel beyond heated. And Harry wasted no time making him feel wanted, either. That was one thing he could always say about his husband. Harry always, without fail, made him feel wanted.

Harry began stroking Cisco's dick, slow glides of a strong palm causing perfect friction that made Cisco moan into his mouth and grip onto Harry's sweatpants, tugging at them, pulling them down, gliding one hand around Harry's warm rear and the other gripping Harry's dick, loving that he was already hard and willing. Harry broke the kiss with a light growl, pressing himself further into Cisco's hand as he stepped out of the sweatpants one leg at a time. Then he trailed his lips across Cisco's jaw, whispering in his ear… 

"Tell me what you want." He ordered, nibbling lightly on Cisco's earlobe for a moment before tasting the skin on Cisco's neck. And Cisco, well... he was feeling weak in the knees, flustered and greedy all at the same time. He held onto Harry, his breathing labored.

"You, now. Right now.” He ordered back. Harry was fueled by it, bringing his mouth back to Cisco's, drowning him, the kiss wiping Cisco's mind completely clean. Then suddenly, Harry's mouth was gone, and Cisco was being spun around almost roughly and pressed against the window. Harry ground his dick against Cisco's ass, one hand curling fingers into his hair, the other dipping around to pump Cisco's dick for anyone outside to see. Thank god for a nighttime rainstorm, or they would have had a hell of an audience. The whole thing made Cisco's head spin. He flattened his forehead against the cool glass, breathing steam onto the pane, small moans escaping his throat as he instinctively pushed back against Harry. 

Never in a million years had he thought he'd be doing something like this. It was crazy, right? But dammit if he didn't want this. It would be a lie to say he wasn't thoroughly enjoying it. Of all the people Cisco'd been with, Harry was the only one who had ever made Cisco feel mad with need and overwhelmed with heat like this. "Harry, god, _please_ , Harry..." he whined out, Harry's hand sliding from his hair down Cisco's back. Harry stepped away, cool air meeting Cisco's ass in his wake. But not for long. 

Harry's now free hand slid between Cisco's cheeks, lower to his perineum. And he teased relentlessly. The need for release began to build just as relentlessly. Harry was far too good with his hands. Hands that suddenly disappeared, leaving Cisco panting and staring out wide eyed into the rainy street below.

Harry had grabbed the lube. 

Cisco felt its slickness on his tail bone, and Harry's fingers sliding through it sensuously till he met Cisco's hole, teasing as he leaned forward and left warm kisses on Cisco's back. "You're so perfect. So sexy..." Harry's rough, heated voice meeting Cisco's ears. It made his dick twitch. Made him close his eyes and push back on Harry's hand. Harry took it as permission to slip a finger into Cisco's hole, straight to the knuckle. Cisco let out a long, shaking sigh. It felt so good. And Harry wasted no more time, scissoring him open with two fingers. A moment later, it was Harry's dick inside him. So big, so hard and tight. Cisco was back to whimpering and pushed back against Harry even more. He flattened his palms on the window, the pane fogged up in places, sweat beading along his spine. And Harry gripped Cisco's hips instantly and began to move.

The rhythm wasn't slow at all. It was even slightly rough, the sound of flesh meeting flesh filling Cisco's ears. And the pounding felt amazing. It had Cisco crying out in succession, a pressure building relentlessly until his orgasm crashed through him with each of Harry's thrusts. His whole body shook with it, his legs barely holding him at that point. And Harry came very quickly after, riding through his own orgasm with a growl and a tight grip on Cisco's hips as he sheathed himself to the hilt. 

Cisco's whole body was trembling as they both came down from the high. Harry's hands softened around him, and he slowly, gently pulled out. But he didn't move away. He held Cisco against him as he straightened. Cisco never once opened his eyes. He just relaxed right into Harry, his breathing slowly coming under control. He didn't care anymore that he was standing completely nude in front of the window. He didn't care that he'd made a mess on the windowsill. All he cared about was this, the aftermath, the wonderful ache and the sated heaviness. 

"That was..." he finally managed to whisper, " _Incredible_." He could almost feel Harry smiling.

"You're incredible." Harry replied warmly, kissing Cisco's temple.

Eventually they cleaned up, dressed, and found their way to the couch. Harry was stretched out, his head on Cisco's lap. Eyes closed, breathing easily as Cisco ran his fingers through Harry's messy hair and flipped channels on the tv. When he found Jurassic Park playing on a movie channel, he set the remote aside and rested his hand on Harry's bare chest. He glanced down, smoothing a thumb over one of the scars Harry now had from the cattle prod that Townes had tortured him with. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?" He found himself asking, knowing it sounded corny, but really not caring. Harry cracked a light smile, then lazily opened his eyes.

"I love you, too." He responded, no humor, no guile. Just honesty. They held each other's gaze for a quiet moment, then Harry closed his eyes again. "I think I lied a little, by accident." Cisco raised a brow.

"What do you mean?" He asked, still moving his fingers through Harry's hair. Harry let a slow sigh out of his nose, but was still holding that light smile.

"I might have forgotten to tell you... one small thing." Harry replied, Cisco's hand freezing in his hair. When he didn't continue, Cisco tugged his messy strands. Harry opened his eyes, smirking. "No one compares to you." And Cisco smirked, too, chuckling.

"Alright, so you've met your corny quota for the day." He said, continuing his stroking of Harry's hair. Harry just closed his eyes with a content sigh, satisfied with himself. 

As much as they could argue or get on each other's nerves, it was all worth it for moments like this. Life just didn't get much better. And even if some forgotten piece of their pasts decided to rear its ugly head, Cisco would be fine with it. As long as they tackled it together, head on, like they did with everything else.


	15. Family Matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cisco's relationship with his brother and mother has been strained since marrying Harry, a fact that might change if he's willing to forgive and accept Harry's help...

Dante was staring at what Cisco affectionately called ‘The Wall of Memories.’ 

Neither he nor Harry were the greatest at interior decorating, but Cisco was pretty proud of this particular portion of their apartment. It was a literal collage of framed pictures of all the most important people to them, their memories, their lives played out in images forever. He'd worked hard on it. And Harry had been so impressed that it was the first thing he'd shown Jesse when she'd come to visit. Dante, however, was staring at it all with a sort of sour expression as he waited for Cisco to find his wallet.

"So... where is he?" Dante finally asked, tapping on a picture of Harry hugging Jesse from behind, both of them smiling happily. Cisco paused rifling through the couch cushions and glanced up.

"Harry? He's at work." He responded, feeling a little strange that Dante had even bothered to bring Harry up. 

It was a sort of unspoken rule between them. Neither of them talked about the fact that Cisco is married to a man, and the world kept spinning. It was pretty much the only way Cisco could even remotely have a relationship with his brother. It was a much harder ordeal with his mother. She was so disappointed, she barely spoke to Cisco anymore. He'd never really pictured his family members as homophobic. But, then again, Cisco had always been the black sheep, the disappointing child. Why shouldn't they reject him for one more thing?

Dante turned away from the pictures, probably aware by now that there was only one of Dante and their mother. The rest were all of Harry, Jesse, Barry, Iris, Caitlin, Joe, Wally and Cisco. The family Cisco had made for himself. 

"Okay, stop... this is ridiculous." Dante stated, motioning at Cisco, who was shoving a cushion back in place. Cisco stood up slowly, furrowing his brows.

"Um, no wallet equals no money equals no delicious steak in my belly for lunch." Cisco responded, stepping around the couch. He never let anyone pay for him if he could help it. Dante let out a sigh and rolled his eyes, shaking his.

"Not the wallet, idiot. This..." he motioned behind him to the wall of pictures. "We never talk about this." Cisco paused, glancing at the wall, then shrugged, slipping his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, there's a pretty good reason for that, don't you think?" Cisco couldn't help the spite in his tone, moving toward the kitchen area to check the counters, feeling the edges of an argument coming on and really not wanting to barrel into one. He and Dante had a barely functioning relationship. He didn't want to lose it. But if he pushed him far enough...

"Cisco, you're married." Dante said plainly. Cisco glanced at him, smirking lightly.

"Thanks for the newsflash." He chuckled, looking down at the ring on his finger like it hadn't been there for nearly a year now. He shook his head, moving aside some files and diagrams that were littered all over the island counter. Still no wallet. Dante moved up to the counter, staring Cisco down firmly.

"Look, I know Momma and I reacted badly. It was all kind of... confusing and sudden." Dante began, and Cisco let out an exasperated sound.

"Sudden? Dude, Harry and I were together for over a year before we got hitched. How is that sudden?" He crossed his arms over his chest. "And what's confusing? You knew I dated guys as well as girls."

"I thought it was a phase!" Dante exclaimed. "I didn't think you'd actually settle down with a guy." His face flushed lightly. And Cisco couldn't stop himself from glaring.

"Wow. We're really gonna do this?" He let his arms fall, "Okay. _Fine._ Yes, I married a man, Dante. I'm happy with a man. _That_ man." He pointed to the pictures on the wall. "Every damn day of my life, I'm happy and a big reason for that is Harry. I don't need or want your approval. I don't care if Momma accepts me or not. I knew right from the start it would be way too much to ask for you both to be happy for me. But I'm over it, Dante. I am _so_ over it." 

Cisco breezed past him and the kitchen area, moving toward the cordoned off bedroom. He started rifling through the laundry basket. He needed to keep his mind on the task at hand, to think of anything but the bubbling anger and hurt he'd tried so hard to forget. Because, yeah... it hurt, like hell. He would love to share his life with Dante and their mother, to talk openly about his happiness, to introduce his husband to them. But sometimes, life just didn't work out that way. He felt Dante's hand on his shoulder all of a sudden, and Cisco stiffened, straightening up slowly and turning to look at his brother. 

"Cisco, man..." Dante sighed, "I'm trying to understand, to explain..." he shook his head, letting his hand fall. "Apologize, even. And I'm doing a terrible job at it." Cisco's jaw nearly dropped. All he could do was blink and swallow. "I didn't realize, until I saw those pictures, just how wrong I actually was." Dante looked at Cisco's left hand and the wedding band there. "I've never been the world's best brother. But," he cleared his throat, "I think in some ways we're getting along pretty well. So, I want to try to make it better. I want to be a part of your life, Cisco. Your whole life." Cisco smiled slowly, then nudged Dante in the shoulder with one hand. 

"That was sappy, dude." He grinned, and Dante rolled his eyes. "But..." Cisco shrugged, his smile softening, "If you're serious about it, then yeah. I'd like that. A lot, actually." Cisco wasn't one to hold grudges. And he had to admit, the idea of Dante being a bigger part of his life made him happy. It was a big step, for both of them really. And one Cisco hadn’t thought they'd ever tackle. But Dante had surprised him in the best way possible. And Cisco was not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"So. You like older dudes, eh?" Dante cracked a lop-sided grin. Cisco sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Oh my god, Dante." He muttered, Dante chuckling as Cisco turned toward the bedside table... where his wallet had been sitting the whole time. "Come on, it's time for steak." And a moment later, they were out the door.

* * *

"You can't just... _not_ tell me when you've been tortured!" Jesse exclaimed, standing toe to toe with her father as she read him the riot act. Harry looked far more amused then chastised.

"Didn't want you to worry. Everything turned out fine." He replied, tapping her nose with the end of his multi-tool before going back to tinkering on the density scanner he'd been adjusting.

"Fine? No, not from what Cisco said." She continued, waving a hand in Ramon's direction. He raised both brows, holding his hands up in surrender.

"Nope, leave me out of it, girly." He said but couldn't hide all the humor in his tone. Harry gave him a narrow stare.

"Ramon has a big mouth." He said, setting his tool down.

"Dad, come on..." Jesse sighed, gripping Harry's forearm. "You could have died." She said softly. "I don't know what I would've done if..." her voice trailed off, and she shook her head. Harry sighed softly, then pulled her in for a hug. "I know we're living on different Earths, but you can't keep this stuff from me, okay? You just can't." Harry rested his chin on top of her head.

"You do realize it's my job to worry about you, not the other way around, right?" He responded gently. It always amazed Cisco, how different Harry was with Jesse compared to everyone else. Seeing him in 'father mode' was a secret delight of Cisco's. It showed a softer side to the cantankerous scientist that the world rarely got to see. Jesse lifted her head to look at him.

"We worry about each other. That's what family does. So no more hiding this stuff. Promise me." Her tone left little room for argument. Harry smiled a little, then nodded, placing a kiss on Jesse's forehead.

"Promise." One word. Harry's specialty. But it was all that was needed.

"You guys are adorable." Cisco said, grinning from the spinning chair he was lazily swaying back and forth in. Harry and Jesse shot him the same exact look at the same exact time. And Cisco chuckled. "Okay, that's just awesome." He stood up, still grinning like an idiot. He'd been on cloud nine all week. And quietly nervous about what was coming.

 _Harry was staring at him, both brows raised._ "Really?" _He asked, crossing his arms over his chest._ "What brought that about?" _He added, questioning Dante's sudden turn around. Cisco flipped the pancake, perfectly round -thank you very much, and shrugged._

"I think he just figured out that I'm actually happy." _He explained, leaning his hip against the stove, waving the spatula in a circle,_ "And that a big part of that is this." _He used the spatula for emphasis between the two of them._ "So I said we should all get together for dinner on Friday night." _Harry's expression looked classically blank. But his eyes were running marathons with thought. Cisco just watched him, waiting, knowing how Harry's brain worked._

"Okay." _Harry responded, not moving otherwise. Cisco raised both brows._

"Really? Just like that?" _He asked, setting the spatula down. At the start, when Cisco's family had been very vocally against them, Harry had taken it in stride. He'd been a rock for Cisco, understanding and showing anger only at Cisco being hurt. Harry didn't seem to care what people thought about him. Or most people, Cisco and Jesse excluded of course. So his reaction back then hadn't been all that surprising. Now, though... was he really just that willing to live and let live?_

"Do you want me to be upset? To say no?" _Harry asked, raising a brow._ "If me meeting with your brother is what you want, then I'm all for it." _He stated easily, letting his hands fall._ "Don't expect him to like me, though." _He added, and Cisco smirked. He knew damn well Harry was an acquired taste. He didn't go out of his way to make people dislike him, it simply just happened. Mostly because people couldn't see past Harry's gruff exterior._

"Oh, believe me. I'm figuring in bruised egos and misunderstandings." _He chuckled, turning to flip the pancake again. Harry's willingness to make Cisco happy always left him feeling content. And that contentedness would carry him through the rest of the week._

"You sure you can't stay for dinner tonight?" Cisco asked Jesse as he strode up to the two Wells'. Jesse stepped back from her father. "Ya know, for moral support." Cisco added, motioning his head toward Harry, who rolled his eyes and went back to work without a word. Jesse grinned.

"I wish I could. But I'm in the middle of overseeing a project. It was hell just getting away for the day." She reached out and squeezed Cisco's hand. "Besides, Dad said earlier he'd be on his best behavior. Isn't that right, Dad?" She asked, looking at Harry who just shrugged one shoulder without looking at them. Jesse shook her head and turned her attention fully on Cisco. "It's gonna be great, Cisco. Really." She hugged him then, and Cisco let out a deep breath.

"I really hope so." He muttered softly, feeling the sharp edges of nervousness creep up around the corners.

* * *

Dinner had gone amazingly well. Or at least amazing by abnormal standards. 

Harry didn't yell or throw things. Dante didn't make stupid jokes. And the two seemed to be getting along for entirely Cisco's sake, which made him feel all kinds of awesome. Add to that some damn good stuffed ravioli and cheesecake settling in his belly, and it made for one ridiculously happy Cisco Ramon. They went back to the apartment after to hang out for a bit. Cisco made coffee and left the two in the living room as he ducked into the bathroom to breathe for a minute. He couldn't believe how happy his reflection looked in the mirror. He was grinning ear to ear. 

“This is really happening.” He said to himself, running both hands through his hair. His brother was actually getting along with his husband. Were pigs flying? He chuckled at himself, washing his face and hands, and making his way out. But he stopped just on the other side of the bedroom wall, listening when he heard Dante speak. 

“So why Cisco?” There was a pause. A long one. Cisco could almost imagine the look on Harry's face, a complete blank with thunderous life in his eyes.

“Your brother is an incredible man.” Harry said, almost gently, like the words meant as much to Harry as they did to Cisco. “He didn't deserve what your family put him through.” Harry added, a little more sternly. And all Ramon could do was cringe. Those were fighting words in Dante's world. But then there was just a sigh. A shuffling of feet. And then...

“I know. I wish I could explain it, give a good reason for it. But there isn't one. I was being a selfish, ignorant prick. Plain and simple.” Dante's voice was at ease, if a little pained. And Cisco's jaw dropped. Holy shit, pigs _were_ flying.

“I'm glad you're trying to fix things. It means a lot to him. Even if he doesn't really express it.” Harry offered, almost being kind to Dante.

“ _You_ mean a lot to him. I can see it. He really loves you.” Dante replied, sounding completely okay with the stated fact.

“And I really love him.” Harry admitted easily.

“Good. Cause... he's still my baby brother. And I will hunt you down if you hurt him.” Dante said, slight humor in his voice. Cisco took that as his cue and slipped back into view. He sidled right up to Harry, seeing the narrow gaze he was giving Dante. He grinned, sliding a hand around Harry's back to rest on his opposite hip. Harry just eased into him, draping his long arm over Cisco's shoulders.

“So, coffee?” Cisco offered, still grinning like a complete idiot.

* * *

After Dante left, Cisco was feeling giddy and hyper, which was something he put to good use by practically attacking Harry. Amazing sex ensued, followed by passing out tangled in bedsheets. The next week went by with Cisco pretty much on cloud nine. Nothing could burst his big round happy bubble. Nope. Or so he thought.

“It's on the counter, Harry.” He said, pulling his other shoe on and tying it. They were getting ready to go to the lab. It was near seven in the morning. And Harry was in grump mode because he hadn't had his morning dose of coffee yet.

“No, Ramon.” He growled out. “It's not.” Harry nearly slapped down a book onto the haphazard pile of papers, setting his hands on his hips with a deep sigh. At least he wasn't tossing things. Cisco smirked, standing up and tugging his shirt down into place before wandering over to the brooding Wells. He pushed some of the papers aside and found exactly what he was looking for. He handed the CCJitters Frequent Coffee card to Harry, who clenched his jaw and took it. “Not a word.” He said, pointing at Cisco. He chuckled.

“Come on, grump. Let's go get some java.” He stepped past Harry and grabbed his jacket off the peg by the door, along with his keys off the little magnetic strip, then opened the door. “We'll do some shopping on the way ho-” He stopped halfway through his sentence, staring out into the hallway, feeling every inch of him go completely numb with surprise. He felt Harry's warm presence behind him, and almost instantly backed into him for comfort, a completely instinctual result to the sight of who was standing in the hallway... _his mother_.

“Hello, Francisco.” She said gently, her face holding its usual unimpressed expression as she glanced from Cisco to Harry, blinked and looked back at her son. Cisco swallowed, forcing himself to stand up tall but didn't move away from Harry, who thankfully rested a warm hand on Cisco's side.

“Momma...” he said, his voice coming out cracked and he cleared his throat. “What are you doing here?” He asked, brows furrowing. She was dressed for work. She worked the desk as a receptionist at the Hilton Hotel in the center of the city. She was wearing a maroon woman's business suit with a white button up shirt and a gold tinted name tag.

“Are you going to invite me in?” She asked, her voice holding a tinge of scolding.

“We were heading to-” Cisco began, but Harry gripped his side a little more firmly, pushing Cisco slightly away and opening the door wider.

“Mrs. Ramon.” Harry said firmly, motioning for her to come in. Cisco's brows raised, and he was sure his mouth was set in a permanent 'o' shape out of surprise. His mother's expression turned from stern to uncertain, and curious, as she stepped past both men, unhooking her purse from her shoulder as she stepped completely in. Cisco glared at Harry, mouthing, _'What are you doing?'_ to which Harry just shrugged and closed the door.

Cisco's mother wandered into the open concept apartment, taking everything in, soaking it all up in that quick way of hers. Her eyes only lingered on the pictures on the wall. And then she turned to look at them both. Harry's hands were now in his pockets, and he was standing there calm as could be, completely at ease in his own skin and in this awkward situation that had Cisco's head reeling.

“Dante and I have been talking.” She said, setting her purse down on the chaotic mess of the island counter. “And he has brought several things to my attention.” She let her hands rest open and easy at her sides as she stared Cisco down. He felt like he was suddenly a kid again, being told he wasn't as good as Dante, or he wouldn't amount to much.

“L-like what?” He nearly stammered. He was practically hugging his jacket to himself, the keys in his hand held so tight he was practically digging them into his palm. Harry moved very slowly, coming up beside and slightly behind him, letting Cisco lean into him for comfort. God, he needed that right now. His mother watched, catching Harry's quiet stare. The two of them seemed to be having a strange battle of wills before she finally looked back at Cisco.

“The fact that I...” she sighed then, all strictness leaving her face, “I have been a horrible mother, Francisco.” Her voice cracked, her face crumpled, and her eyes went instantly wet. And what did Cisco do? He _froze_. Turned into a statue. A pigeon could have pooped on him and he'd have let it. 

Suddenly, his head was empty except for her words, bouncing around like a ping pong ball without a destination. His mouth went dry. And he felt... pain. Anger. Sadness. She moved toward them both, and Cisco felt Harry go rigid. He knew why. Harry wanted to protect him. But he also knew that no one could protect him from this. And then, as if her sudden admission wasn't shocking enough, she moved forward even more and grabbed them both by the arms. He could feel her fingers shaking as a tear escaped her eye. And Harry went as still and frozen as Cisco.

“Did I wake up in the Twilight Zone?” He muttered toward Harry, who nudged him.

“Ramon.” His voice warned. And Cisco's mother shook her head, a sad smile playing on her lips.

“Oh, Francisco. I _know_... I know I do not deserve it. I know I cannot make up for the hurt I caused you. But I am so hoping that you'll forgive me. That you and your... husband... will let me try?” She asked, squeezing both of their arms at the same time and giving them equally yearning glances.

“I don't... I'm not sure what to say…” Cisco finally breathed out, the tension in his body rippling down into nothing. He swallowed, staring at his mother and feeling completely out of sorts. “I just... I need a minute.” And he peeled himself away, moving toward the Japanese paper wall and disappearing behind it, tossing his stuff on the bed and dragging his hands down his face. It was quiet in the apartment suddenly. 

Too quiet.

“Dante has told me many things about you.” His mother finally spoke up, to Harry, her voice shaken. “I... I need you to know, this wasn't about the fact that you're a man.” She continued. He heard Harry move, stepping away from her. Cisco knew that distance was a good way for Harry to keep from getting upset. “I didn't understand, and I didn't try to.” She continued, urging, “I didn't stop to care what Francisco would want. Only what _I_ thought he should.” Cisco moved to peek around the wall. He saw Harry standing with his back to her, hands on his hips. His eyes were closed, jaw clenched in frustration. He was doing everything he could to keep himself from snapping at her. And dammit if that didn't make Cisco love him more instantly. Finally, Harry turned, letting his hands drop. 

“You hurt him.” He told her firmly as he turned back around. “You took his happiness and tried to make it feel like something wrong and unforgivable.” Harry's voice was calm, but Cisco knew he was seething anger inside. He should go out there, stop this. But he couldn't get himself to move away from that wall, watching their interaction like a deer in headlights. “Cisco, your son, is quite possibly the greatest man I've ever known. He did not deserve that pain. Especially not from you. You're his _mother_.” The last sentence was said a lot harsher than anything else. But then Harry sighed, shaking his head. And then Cisco's mother was moving, tears painting her cheeks.

“I know.” She said gently, offering a warm and sad smile. “What I did is unforgivable. But I promise you, I will not stop trying to make it right.” She was staring up at Harry with such a hopeful look that it made Cisco's heart hurt. And then her expression turned thoughtful, and she nodded firmly. “You really love him, don't you.” She stated. And Harry's face sobered. He nodded, once. Wordlessly.

“I love him, too, Momma. For the record.” Cisco said as he finally stepped completely out, moving toward them both with purpose. “Truth is, I want you in my life. I always did. And if you're serious about this, about... accepting us,” he motioned to Harry, “Then a lot of things have to change.” He'd never spoken to her so firmly in his life. But hearing Harry's words, seeing how his mother had reacted, had lit a new fire in his head. He put his hands on his mother's shoulders, “I love you, Momma. But I love Harry, too. If anyone forces me to choose, it's gonna be him.” He looked over at Harry, whose face had gone blank, but he could see the affection in his eyes. Cisco's mother moved into him and hugged her son so tight, Cisco thought he'd suffocate. Then she pulled back, smiling, wiping at her cheeks.

“I will never ask you to choose, my boy.” She said, moving a hand to Cisco's face and caressing his cheek gently. “I love you so.” Cisco smiled slowly, then nodded.

“So... not the Twilight Zone?” He asked, grinning afterword. And she rolled her eyes at him, but chuckled. And Harry watched contentedly. This may not have been how Cisco had seen the day starting. But it was definitely a good surprise.

* * *

That night, Cisco was laying on the bed, staring up at the vaulted ceiling in the lamp light. Harry was sitting up beside him, his back to the headboard, fingers moving randomly on his tablet screen. 

“This is a good thing.” Cisco said, unfolding his hands off his stomach and glancing at Harry who never took his eyes off the screen. “Right?”

“Mm.” Harry responded, adjusting his glasses with one hand before swiping at the screen again. Cisco rolled his eyes and sighed, pushing himself up and turning into Harry, grabbing the tablet away from him. “Ramon...” Harry said, glaring, reaching for the tablet, but Cisco kept it out of his reach, tossing it to the end of the bed and then straddling Harry, sitting down on his blanket covered legs.

“You're not listening to me.” Cisco pouted, crossing his arms. Harry raised a single brow, then took his glasses off, setting them on the nightstand.

“Yes, I am.” He stated, then settled his hands on Cisco's thighs. “And yes, Ramon. Your brother, and now your mother trying to make amends is a very good thing.” Cisco felt himself sigh, looking down at Harry's torso.

“Then why do I feel so weird about it?” He asked, and Harry reached up with one hand, gently pulling Cisco's arms apart. He let his hands fall to Harry's sides, pulling his eyes back to Harry's face. “Shouldn't I be more enthusiastic?” Harry tilted his head slightly, watching him.

“Not at all.” Harry responded softly. “You're so used to being hurt, to being trampled on, that you're waiting for the other shoe to drop. I don't think you really trust this sudden turn around.” Cisco furrowed his brows in thought.

“Yeah.” He agreed, glad that Harry could put into words what he couldn't.

“Cisco.” Harry said his first name, completely catching his attention because he didn't do that very often. “People can change. Especially when it comes to you.”

“What does that mean?” Cisco asked quietly, and Harry smiled a little.

“You make me better every day.” He responded affectionately. And Cisco sighed, shaking his head before leaning into Harry and pressing their foreheads together.

“You really think they're going to change?” He asked, sliding his hands up to Harry's warm chest. Harry shrugged, one of his hands moving to Cisco's side.

“I don't know. But I think it's worth the risk.” He brought his free hand up to Cisco's hair, brushing the strands back. “And no matter how it turns out, I'll be right here.” Cisco pulled his head back a little, staring at the swirling blue flecks in Harry's eyes.

“Thank you, Harry. For... for being so good about this. I don't think I could get through it without you.” Cisco said with a sigh. Harry smiled, bright and warm, making Cisco feel all sorts of fuzzy.

“That's what a husband is for.” he whispered, and then he brushed his lips over Cisco's, so sweet and chaste. “Get in bed.” He ordered then. “Time for sleep.” Cisco complied, but not before kissing Harry once more for good measure. A minute later, the light was off and Cisco was playing little spoon, hugging Harry's arm tightly against him. He could feel Harry's warm breath against his hair and the back of his neck. “Love you.” Harry whispered lazily in the dark. And Cisco just sighed, feeling more of the unease leave his body.

“Love you, too.” He whispered back.

He didn't know how this would turn out. He had a feeling Dante would stick to the new promises, but his mother's acceptance was uncharted territory that Cisco didn't know how to navigate. It was hard to put trust and belief in someone who had let him down and hurt him repeatedly. It made him infinitely glad he had Harry. Because though he and Harry had their fair share of disagreements, disappointments and fights, the love was real. It was concrete. They fought for each other endlessly, unwilling to give up on one another. And that meant literally everything to Cisco. 

He meant what he’d said before. If anyone wanted him to choose between Harry and someone or something else, Cisco would always, every damn time, choose Harry. Because Harry chose him, too. He'd proven how much he wanted this life with Cisco. He'd sacrificed for this life. Choosing Harry back was the least Cisco could do. Loving him back was the _only_ thing he could do. The only thing he ever wanted to do. Even if he was living in the Twilight Zone now, that was the one truth that would never change…


	16. A Perfect Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry's birthday is coming up, and Cisco wants to get him the perfect gift. But what do you get a man who never asks for anything?

"He does this every time." Cisco pouted, tapping a pen against one knee, legs swinging as he sat on the edge of the gurney, watching Caitlin as she reviewed meta DNA samples. "I mean, it's not like I'm asking him for the ultimate answer to life, the universe and everything."

"Oh!" She looked over at Cisco with a grin, "I know that one! It's..." she squinted slightly, "Forty?"

"God, _no_. You heathen. It's 42. Damn." He hopped off the gurney. "At least I know what to get you for _your_ birthday." Caitlin chuckled.

"I have the book, Cisco. I just haven't actually read it." She said, smiling as she looked back at her computer screen. "As for Harry, you know he isn't going to give you any ideas." She stepped away from her console, grabbing another set of slides to run through her scanner. "Just... get him something simple. Something sciency. He'll be happy no matter what."

"I don't want to just get him whatever." Cisco frowned. "I want to get him something really special. Something memorable." He tapped the pen against his hand. "Question is, what do you get a man who has everything he needs and never tells you what he wants?"

"A lightsaber." Barry said, stepping into the medlab with bags of food from Big Belly Burger.

"Yeah, no. He hates those movies." Cisco shook his head, tossing the pen onto the gurney and taking his bag of food out of Barry's arms.

"That's just crazy. Why would anyone hate Star Wars?" Barry demanded seriously, handing Caitlin her bag.

"Who hates Star Wars?" Wally chimed in, moving into the room with their drinks. He set the carrying tray down on a metal stand.

"Harry." Caitlin said before popping a fry into her mouth.

"Oh, well, that makes sense." Wally responded with a chuckle.

"Seriously, none of you are any help." Cisco sighed, plopping back down on the gurney and unwrapping his burger.

"Help with what?" This time it was Harry's voice in the air, and literally everyone in the room seemed to freeze in place as Harry quietly moved toward the only bag left, snagging a cup of soda on the way.

"Um, deciding what to do for movie night." Cisco got out, clearing his throat.

"Yeah, we were thinking Star Wars." Barry said, not bothering to hide his mischievous smile.

"Count me out." Harry said instantly, glancing suspiciously around for a moment before shaking his head and leaving the room to go back to work. Everyone looked at each other and smiled or chuckled.

"Okay," Cisco stared at his burger for a moment, "That's it. I have to do some serious brainstorming." And he took a big bite.

* * *

Harry treated his birthday like just another day. 

He never mentioned it. He never asked for anything. And if someone asked him what he wanted, his answer was always a flat and simple, 'Nothing.' This, of course, was the exact opposite of Cisco. Ramon loved birthdays. Loved throwing surprise parties and had recently learned the art of finding the best gifts. He adored seeing the people he loved and cared about smile. But Harry had made it pretty darn clear from the get-go that he hated surprise parties, and he would be perfectly happy never getting any gifts at all. So Cisco downplayed things. He didn't throw Harry any parties. But that didn't mean he wouldn't try his hardest to find the perfect gift.

Unfortunately, this year was turning out to be a bit tougher in that department. Harry had everything he needed. And if he didn't, he just went and got it for himself. He was really self-sufficient. And he didn't have a lot of personal items. What little he'd accumulated while he'd been on this Earth could barely fit a room, whereas Cisco had so much stuff that he'd been able to furnish their whole apartment with his things alone. An apartment which, at the moment, was offering him no answers. 

He was wandering around, area to area, just thinking. The sound of rain outside helped fill the silence but didn't offer him any insight. He'd spent nearly an hour, just going through all their stuff, trying to come up with ideas. But he was beginning to think he should just admit defeat. He sat down on the bed, flopping backward, legs hanging off as he stared up at the ceiling. 

The ceiling was high, vaulted, with wooden beams that crisscrossed in a checkerboard pattern. When the warehouse was refurbished for apartments, they left a lot of the original woodwork, just restoring it in place. It added a nice touch to the place. Made it feel more open and homier. It was part of the reason Cisco had instantly loved it here.

 _He was practically yanking Harry's arm to death._ "Please, Harry? It's perfect here!" _Cisco exclaimed as they'd walked around the empty space. The realtor was out in the hallway, talking on her cell phone for the millionth time. Harry watched Cisco with amusement but shook his head a little._

"It's more than we agreed our price range would be." _He replied. And he was right. It was about two hundred more a month than what they'd figured they'd spend. But it wasn't like they couldn't afford it. Not to mention it was closer to the labs, and it was so big and open with huge windows and lots of room and oh-the-possibilities!_

"Aw, come on, Harry!" _Cisco spun, gripping Harry's shirt with a grin. Harry just looked down at him with quiet warmth, settling his hands on Cisco's ribs comfortably._ "Imagine what we could do in a place like this!" _Harry slowly smiled, a mischievous look that Cisco knew well, and it made heat rise to his cheeks._ "Okay, I didn't mean..." _He stopped, chuckling,_ "Right, that, too." _He grinned and Harry shook his head with a light smile._

"Alright. If it's what you want." _Harry relented. Though, honestly, he hadn't really fought it much. Cisco found himself just staring up at him before leaning his frame into Harry's strong torso._

"You always do that." _Cisco said softly, letting himself drown in his gaze for a moment._

"Do what?" _Harry asked, tightening his arms around Cisco's form, letting out a slow breath._

"Give me what I want." _Cisco replied, not missing a beat. Harry shrugged, like it was no big deal and not really a secret._

"That's what I'm supposed to do." _He said, his eyes scanning over Cisco's face._ "If it makes you happy, then I'm happy." _Cisco shook his head with a soft sigh, pulling away to glance around at their surroundings one more time._

"But what about you? Don't you ever want anything?" _Cisco quietly demanded. But Harry didn't get a chance to answer as the realtor came in, grinning with brightly painted red lips._

"So? What do you gentlemen think? Pretty amazing, right?" _She asked, clasping her hands together like a cheerleader. Cisco wasn't looking at her though, he was still staring at Harry._

"Yeah, pretty damn amazing." _He stated, watching Harry raise a single brow. A few minutes later, they were filling out the rental application._

Eureka's sudden presence on the bed and her tiny meow broke Cisco out of his memory. 

He lazily ran a hand over her back as she padded past him, going to settle on one of the pillows. Harry never did answer that question. And when Cisco asked Jesse what she thought, she just smiled and said, _'Dad already has what he wants.'_ Completely no help. Though it warmed him to think that maybe she was referring to Cisco. He let out a slow sigh, sitting up with a grunt and glancing out the rain-beaded glass of the windows. 

Getting someone a gift shouldn't be this damn difficult, right? Then again, Harry wasn't just anyone. He was the most complicated, frustrating, wonderful and challenging person Cisco knew. Why shouldn't getting him the perfect present be challenging, too? Cisco stood up and went to the window, staring out, crossing his arms over his chest. A memory of a certain heated experience at that very window slipped into his head and he blushed despite the fact that no one was there. 

"Goood memory." He muttered, clearing his throat and watching as a woman in a business suit was running to her car in heels to escape the rain. Cisco had never really understood that. It was just water, the stuff dried. Besides, he liked the rain. Loved thunderstorms even more. As a kid, thunderstorms used to scare the crap out of him. They always made him feel like the sky was out to get him. And honestly, as an adult he hadn't been that fond of them, either. Until Harry showed him a different side to them.

 _'It's comforting.'_ Harry had said during a particularly violent storm where Harry looked completely at ease. _'It settles my own storms.'_ After that, Cisco had made it a point to experience thunderstorms differently. And now, he loved them. He loved the heaviness in the air and the steady chorus of rumbles. He loved the flashing in the sky and the pattering of rain on windows and roofs. He loved them even more when he could share them with Harry. Cisco reached out with one hand and began to trace the line of a raindrop. And as he chased it down toward the sill, an idea began to form in his head. 

"Oh, _yeeeessss._ " He whispered. 

It sure had taken its sweet time to come to him, but Cisco finally had an idea of what to get Harry. A really, fantastic, memorable idea. With one last grin out the window, he turned on his heel and rushed out the door.

* * *

Harry sighed as he finally laid down in bed, wearing only sweatpants, flattening himself onto his stomach and practically burying his face into his pillow. He didn't even bother getting under the covers, the strong expanse of his back slowly relaxing in complete view for Cisco to quietly admire. 

It had been a long day. A long week. Hell, a long month. And though Harry kept on trucking like he had all the energy in the world, sometimes it was easy to see that he pushed himself a little too hard. Cisco wandered his eyes over the few scars that Harry had below his shoulder blades, the ragged line across his spine he'd gotten from Zoom, the round pink circle just above the line of his sweatpants. It always amazed Cisco how Harry took pain and injuries in stride. Didn't he know it was okay to hurt? To show pain? He was only human. No one expected him to be invincible.

Without a word, Cisco crawled onto the bed and over to Harry, sitting down on his thighs. Harry lifted his head questioningly, but then sighed and flopped his head back down, facing the side as he closed his eyes and Cisco began massaging Harry's tense muscles. 

"Jesse get home okay?" Cisco asked quietly. Jesse had come to visit for a little while, to wish her Dad a happy birthday and catch up. Harry had been extremely happy to see her. She'd given him a handwritten letter as a gift. And Harry had accepted it like he was accepting something precious and invaluable. It really was the little things, it seemed. Which gave Cisco hope that he would really like his gift from Ramon.

"Mm hm." Was Harry's eventual answer. Cisco smiled lightly, rolling his thumbs in steady strokes down the sides of his spine. He loved how pliable Harry was at the moment, how relaxed. It wasn't often he could pamper him. It made Cisco feel good to know he could make Harry feel good, too. He kept at it for about fifteen minutes, until he realized that Harry was almost asleep.

"No, no." Cisco said softly, slipping his feet to the floor and moving to place a kiss on Harry's temple. "Don't sleep yet, I have to give you your gift." Harry opened his eyes lazily, lifting his head and furrowing his brows a moment.

"That wasn't it?" He asked, though his tone was halfway amused. Cisco smirked.

"Pft, no. But you're welcome." He replied, moving around to his side of the bed and opening the drawer to the bedside table, pulling out a strange looking remote. "Get on your back." Cisco ordered, and Harry frowned, but sighed and complied, folding his hands over his stomach and watching Cisco, who got onto the bed and laid down beside him, holding out the remote toward him. "Take it and press the green button." Harry raised a brow, and gently took the remote. He examined it for a moment, then simply pressed the button.

Above them, in the vaulted ceiling, what looked like storm clouds formed. Harry's face went soft in confusion, but slowly sobered when the sight of rain falling from the clouds along with the sound of rainfall caught his attention. Then a flash of lightning in the clouds was followed by a steady roll of thunder that dissipated. Harry was literally witnessing and hearing a very real looking storm above their bed. 

"Cisco..." he finally whispered, without taking his eyes off the show above. "How?" Cisco was smiling before he realized it was happening.

"I rigged a holographic crystal with film from a storm and converted it to run in realistic parameters with a laser focus. I synced it to sound, put some speakers in, and wallah!" He said, motioning up. "In home, touch of a button, thunderstorm." He turned a little to point at the remote in Harry's hand, "You can change it, too, to make it speed up, or make the rain heavier. Volume's here and lightn-" but he was suddenly silenced by the feel of Harry's mouth on his. 

He kissed Cisco so tenderly, so longingly that Cisco completely forgot what he was trying to explain. Harry turned over, more into him, pressing their bodies together as the sound of steady rainfall gently filled the air. He had one hand in Cisco's hair, the other holding Cisco's side, one leg between Cisco's legs, their bodies lined up. Lips and tongues and heated breath worked in unison, until finally they had to pull away. Harry was breathing heavily, their mouths barely an inch apart, Cisco's hands gripped his flesh tightly. 

"What-" he started, clearing his throat a little and letting out a heated breath, "What was that for?" He asked warmly, a rumble of thunder mingling with the sound of rain.

"Thank you." Harry simply whispered. "Thank you, Cisco." And he breathed out once before kissing Cisco again. They made love underneath that holographic rainstorm, moans and cries mingling with the steady sounds of raindrops and rolling thunder, creating a storm all their own in that bed till they were both beyond spent and sated. When they were finally settled in the relative dark, the only real light coming from the still steady storm above, Cisco closed his eyes, curling his naked body against Harry's own naked form. He rested his head on Harry's shoulder, draping an arm around his torso and one leg over his thighs.

"Happy birthday, Harry." He mumbled, feeling tired as Harry pulled a blanket up over both of them. Then one of his hands curled around Cisco's thigh, his other hand slipping idly into Cisco's messy hair.

"Yes, it is." Harry whispered, still watching the show above.

"See? Birthdays are a good thing. So are surprises. And gifts. Gifts are awesome." Cisco mumbled, and Harry chuckled softly, making Cisco smile. Neither one of them said anything more. And they both eventually fell asleep, lulled by the aftermath of their love making and the sounds of the perfect thunderstorm...


	17. Harry's Lament

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A meta comes to Cisco asking for help, but a cruel twist of fate leaves Harry reeling with guilt.

Harry had been gone for nearly three weeks, back on his Earth to visit with Jesse and help her out for a bit. It left Cisco with far too much alone time, as far as he was concerned. So he'd been spending as much time as humanly possible at S.T.A.R. Labs until Caitlin practically kicked him out and threatened to steal his collection of Walking Dead figurines if he didn't go do something that wasn't work. He relented but whined the whole way out the door. Cisco sat in his car for nearly fifteen minutes, just trying to think of something to do. There were no good movies showing. And besides Eureka, the apartment was far too quiet for his liking.

So he drove to CCJitters, ordered a double espresso, and sat down with his laptop in the corner, working on diagrams for a new polarized plating he wanted to try on the dampeners for the breach room. He could still work, ha! He just hoped Caitlin wouldn't find out. He was there for nearly an hour, milking his coffee and using the murmur of the coffee shop as white noise to help him concentrate, when he finally looked across the way to see deep brown eyes staring at him. He'd felt someone watching him, a sort of itch on his neck, a trail against his spine. But he'd ignored it. Figuring it was just the caffeine talking. But nope... there really was someone watching him.

And she was gorgeous. He could admit it. 

She had golden brown hair that fell around her shoulders in waves, a delicate face with rosy cheeks and perfectly painted pale pink lips. And those eyes, drowning deep and dark. She was super model fit, with long legs in scandalously short shorts and a tight fitting t-shirt with the Pi symbol on it. He blinked, looking from either side of himself to make sure she was in fact staring at him. Because... well, women that beautiful didn't stare at guys like Cisco Ramon. Right? But nope. He was the only one anywhere near that corner. And he looked back at her with a raised brow. She smiled softly, blushing a little, tucking some hair behind one ear before looking back down at the book she was reading. A book she apparently hadn't gotten very far into. Cisco cleared his throat a little and looked down at his laptop again with a shake of his head.

But it was too late. She'd peaked his interest. Mostly because of the shirt. Maybe she was wearing it as some sort of fashion statement. She probably didn't even know what Pi meant. And though Cisco was a sucker for a pretty face, brains were a far more important feature. He glanced back over at her and she was staring at him, again. There was just something about her attention that made Cisco pause. And then freeze in place when she slid out of her chair, abandoning her drink and literally sauntering over to him, hips swaying like she knew damn well what her body could do under the right circumstances. But whatever effect she was hoping to elicit from him didn't happen. He was just confused. Because something about her seemed off. His instincts were screaming it, loud as an alarm in his brain, pounding in his ears. He didn't take his eyes off her as she came over, and she sat across from him without bothering to ask if he wanted her to. He raised a brow, reaching forward and slowly closing the lid to his laptop.

"Um..." he said, narrowing his eyes on her as she folded her hands on the table, "Hi?" It was more of a question than an invitation. She smiled. Brightly. White teeth, perfect smile, the slightest curl of lips. But it wavered when he didn't react to it.

"Hi." She replied, voice smooth as honey. "Now that you've finally noticed me, I should really introduce myself." She tilted her head ever so slightly, her deep brown hues seemingly getting darker. "I'm Zarah Ragid." She said, and then motioned toward him with one long, manicured finger. "And you are Cisco Ramon." Cisco's brows shot up at that, and his mouth opened slightly to respond, but she kept going, "And you're going to help me. Or I'm going to tell everyone in ear shot that you're a meta. Just like me..."

* * *

"Look, lady, I don't know what you think you know, but this?" he motioned between her and himself as he speed-walked to his car, laptop in its bag, "My help?" He stopped next to his passenger door, unlocking it and practically shoving the bag in, "Not happening." 

He slammed the door shut and went to move around toward the driver's side. But she put her hand out on the top of the car, gripping the roof and blocking his way. He heard an audible creak and crunch before she slipped her hand back and let it fall to her side with a smile. He glanced at the metal of the car roof and raised his brows slowly. The metal had rotted away, a perfect handprint of decay.

"Yes, it is." She said sweetly, crossing her arms over her ample breasts with that ever present spread of lips. She was such a showoff, all about trying to get attention in all the wrong ways.

"What makes you think I could help you? Or that I would even want to? And what would you need help with?" He demanded, one question after another shooting out of his mouth. But he found himself backing up into the door of his car when she moved into him, getting so close that there was barely enough room to breathe.

"Because, you're a scientist. And you work and live with the man who did this to us. You want to help me," she said, looking him up and down before finally settling her eyes on his face, "Because I don't think you want the world knowing what you can do with your hands and those goggles of yours. As for what I need help with?" She smiled even brighter, and finally Cisco put two and two together of why she gave him the heebiejeebies. She wasn't breathing. As in no air coming out of her lungs. As in no breath in his face despite the fact she was talking a mere few inches away. "You're going to fix me." She stepped back and he just stared at her.

"You're," he swallowed, watching her intently, "Not breathing." he finished. And she nodded.

"Very good. No, I'm not. I also have no heartbeat." she tapped her chest, "Nothing ticking away in there. And yet I'm still walking around like everything's okay. Except for, well..." she pointed at the rotted handprint on the car, "For that. I didn't used to be able to control it. I touched anything... things, people... and they'd rot. Instantly. It took months before I figured out how to master it." That sounded just horrifying to Cisco. She'd killed people, but against her will? _Shit_. Still, he didn't like being cornered like this. Or threatened. Or the fact that she'd been spying on him for some time. How else would she know what he could do or that he and Harry lived together?

"If you can control it, what do you need me for? It's obvious you're pretty rocking the zombie queen thing." He grated out, pushing away from the car and shoveling his keys out of his pocket, slipping away from her toward the driver's side door. She followed him but didn't try to stop him.

"I need you to fix me, because I can't..." her voice came at far rougher than she'd probably meant, but it made Cisco pause with his hand on the door, "I can't feel anything." She finally said, sorrow lacing her voice. He looked back over to her. "Not a touch. Not the wind. Not clothes. Water. Nothing. Heat and cold, it's all gone." She explained painfully. "You can't imagine what that's like, how hard it is just to function. And I don't sleep. I'm never tired. Never hungry. It's like... it’s like I'm not even real anymore." Cisco slowly opened the door, but looked at her, brows softly furrowed. 

"Do you always ask for help by threatening people first?" He asked quietly, and she blinked, taken off guard for a moment. "Get in." He stated, then slipped into the driver's seat. She looked confused, glancing from him to the other side of the car. "I don't have all day. Get in. I'm going to take you to someone who can run some tests." For a moment, Zarah's eyes didn't look so dark. For a moment, they almost looked human. She nodded, then hurried to the driver's side, slipping in and settling his laptop bag on her lap. He started up the car, feeling strange having her in a confined space with him. "Don't make me regret this." He muttered to her, then pulled out of the parking lot, heading for S.T.A.R. Labs.

Caitlin was going to love this.

* * *

For five long hours, Caitlin ran every single test she could think of. And the results were few. Zarah’s heart was still beating, but barely once every ten minutes. She wasn't breathing, at all. And all her pain receptors were dead. Her blood was thick as sludge. And the only reason she was functioning, they figured out, was because whenever she made things rot, she inadvertently took any energy from the object or person, restoring her own. She was a walking, talking, energy sucking vampire. And there was no way to fix her. There was no way to fix any of the metas. The change was on such a molecular level that there was no reversing it. Try telling Zarah that, though.

"I don't believe you." She growled out, standing up off the gurney and yanking the sensors off her head. Caitlin stepped back and Cisco instinctively put himself in front of her. Barry moved further into the room. "You need to fix me. _You have to_!" she yelled, the skin on her face growing strangely tight for a moment. Almost skeletal. But she looked around, paused and it simply went back to normal. "I can't live like this." She explained much more easily.

"Snow?" Harry's voice was suddenly heard behind Zarah as he entered the medlab. He must have just gotten back from Earth-2. He was wearing his usual black garb, his glasses on, a curious expression on his face. Zarah turned around and a sound came out of her mouth that was anything but human when she saw him.

"You!" She practically roared. " _You_ did this to me!" And she lunged at him, hands outstretched to grab him.

"No!" Cisco yelled, moving forward. Thankfully, Barry sped Harry to the side, knocking Zarah sideways in the process. "Barry, get her in the pipeline!" And Barry wasted no time, leaving Harry flattened against a wall. He grabbed Zarah and was gone in the blink of an eye. Harry just stood there, letting out a deep breath. He took off his glasses, glancing from Cisco to Caitlin.

"Someone want to tell me what's going on?" He asked flatly, pushing away from the wall. Cisco let out a sigh of relief, shaking his head before crossing the room and practically shoving Harry in the shoulder.

"Don't scare me like that." He stated. Harry blinked. And Cisco just hugged him.

"I think it might go without saying, but... I'm more than a little confused right now." Harry replied, hugging him back. Caitlin came toward them.

"I'll explain everything." Caitlin said gently. Cisco pulled away shaking his head.

"We will." He offered. And Harry narrowed his gaze on them.

"Get to it." He ordered in typical Harry fashion.

This was the stuff Cisco hated the most. 

When the metas with a vendetta against the other Wells, Thawne, came crawling out of the woodworks and blamed Harry for what happened to them. Sure, Harry was responsible for the accelerator explosion on his own Earth, something he'd taken full responsibility for and worked damn hard to fix. But he wasn't responsible for what Thawne had done. Still, he was paying for it, all the time. And even though he didn't say so, it took its toll sometimes. It ate at Harry. It filled him with a guilt he didn't deserve. And Cisco was about to add to that. Again.

 _Shit_.

* * *

Cisco went with Harry when he went down to talk to Zarah. She was sitting on the floor in one of the retrofitted cells in the pipeline, her ability to rot her way out useless in there. She met Harry's gaze with something like cold, cool rage. 

"You sure about this?" Cisco asked softly. Harry just nodded, and Cisco sighed as he turned on the speakers.

"We can't help you." Harry said flatly. _'Way to ease into it, Harry.'_ Cisco thought, but remained quiet, standing somewhat off to the side. "What was done to you can't be reversed. For any of the metas." Harry slipped his hands into the pockets of his dark jeans, the jacket he was wearing fanning out a little. "The very core of your DNA has been changed. Other than killing you, there's no fixing it. And we're not about to kill you."

"Why not?" She asked, her voice rough. She pushed herself to her feet, slapping a hand onto the glass between her and Harry. Cisco jumped a little, but Harry didn't even flinch. "I was going to kill you. When I saw you... I was so..." she shook her head, closing her eyes a moment. " _Angry_. I'm still angry." She let her hand slide off the glass, letting her eyes slowly open. "What you did to me and so many others..." she shook her head, "And here you are still standing, still living the good life, eh?" She smiled, but it wasn't pleasant. "Why don't you get to suffer like the rest of us? Who gave you the right to play God?" Harry was so very still. But then he reached up and pulled his glasses off, folding them, slipping them into his jacket pocket.

"No one gave me the right. I claimed it, simply because I had the means." He sighed lightly, his tone sounding slightly defeated in a way Cisco had only ever heard a few times. What Zahra and the other metas who had it out for Wells didn't know was that Harry was suffering, in his own way. Silently and without any mercy. "There aren't enough apologies in the world to make up for what... _I've_ done." Cisco cringed softly, a hand instinctively reaching out to touch Harry's lower back. He was doing it again, taking all the blame. It wasn't his to take. "That being said, we can't fix what happened to you. I can't. But that doesn't mean you can't do something good with it." Zarah's brows raised slowly, then she laughed. And it wasn't happy.

"What? Become a super hero? Like the Flash? Come on, Doctor Wells. _Look at me_!" She threw her hands up. "I rot things." She sighed out. "Does that strike you as superhero material?" Harry didn't respond, not at first. He just stared at her. And Cisco knew the look that passed over his features. It was hate. But not for her. For himself. For Thawne. "I was engaged." She suddenly said, softly, starting to pace lightly in her cell. "Creg was..." she breathed in, letting it out slow, opening her hands and staring at them, "He was everything to me. He was studying to be a doctor, and I was working my way through vet school by cleaning at my Uncle's crematorium. That's where I was when this happened." She let her hands fall to her sides, catching Cisco's gaze for a moment, then turning her attention completely back to Harry. 

"Creg was the first to find me. He tried to help me. He was the first person I... I _killed_. Because of this. Because of _you_." The last word was said with such seething hatred that it made Harry's lips tighten. "If fate was kind, you'd be the last person I killed." They watched as she raised her hand, fingers splayed out. "But there you are, out there safe and sound. And here I am." She smiled, and it was both sad and defiant. "I won't live like this anymore." She stepped closer to the glass. "I hope you have nightmares about me, Doctor Wells. I hope I haunt you, every day of your life. After all, it's the worst I can do to you now."

Everything happened so fast after that. Her fingers started to turn a grayish color, and she touched her face. In an instant, she began rotting, right before them. Harry yelled for Cisco to open the cell, but by the time the doors separated, she was nothing more than ash and pieces of rotten bone. The smell was awful. But watching her die like that was even worse. They were both quiet for a long moment, just staring down at the remnants of her body. 

"Harry..." Cisco said softly, catching the expression on his husband’s face. It was hard. It was hurting. Cisco touched his shoulder gently. Harry glanced at him and shook his head.

"Don't." He ordered harshly, then slipped away from Cisco, leaving him standing there alone in the far too quiet area of the pipeline. He just watched Harry leave, knowing that right now, there was nothing he could say or do to help him. Guilt and regret were such a part of Harry's psyche that it would almost seem strange to have him without it. Cisco looked down at the still decaying pile and felt his eyes stinging as he stepped back away from her, moving over to the console.

"Barry, Caitlin, you guys better get down to the pipeline." He spoke into the mic, doing his best to keep his voice from cracking. He wiped at his eyes angrily, creasing away the unshed tears. And then he looked toward the empty hall one more time. "I'm so sorry, Harry." He whispered, knowing he'd hear nothing in return.

* * *

It was after one in the morning by the time Harry walked through the door.

Cisco was sitting on the floor with his back to the wall beside the doorframe, legs crossed at the ankles. The apartment had been quiet, and there was only one light on in the kitchen area. Harry didn't even notice Cisco at first, till he turned to hang up his keys. He paused, arm halfway out, then simply hung them up and slipped off his jacket, hanging that up, too. 

"You didn't have to wait up." He said softly, his voice rough around the edges like he was exhausted. He nudged the door closed. Cisco stared up at him quietly for a moment, studying the lines at the corners of Harry's eyes. Harry was clenching his jaw randomly, then he let out a deep sigh, extending his hand to Cisco to help him off the floor. Once Cisco was on his feet, he didn't let go of Harry's hand. He reached forward with his other and cupped Harry's cheek for a moment, stroking his thumb over his skin.

"I was worried." Cisco said, letting his hand fall to Harry's chest. Harry just shook his head once, then stepped out of Cisco's reach, grabbing the edges of his shirt as headed toward the bedroom. Cisco followed quietly.

"You don't need to worry about me." He said over his shoulder before peeling his long sleeved shirt off and tossing it into the basket. He pulled open a dresser drawer, snagging a t-shirt off the top and slipping it on. "I'm fine." He finally added when he saw Cisco still watching him.

"Well, that's crap." Cisco replied plainly, crossing his arms over his chest. "You left without a word. Didn't answer my texts. And you didn't come home till..." he glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand, "One thirteen." He sighed, then motioned to Harry. "Fine isn't what that equals."

"I needed time to think. Alone." He replied easily, sitting down on the bed and pulling his boots off one at a time. Cisco moved to stand in front of him. Harry glanced up with almost a glare. "Ramon, I'm fine. Really." Cisco shook his head, and went down to his knees, using his hands to nudge Harry's legs apart so he could kneel between them. Harry seemed as though he was going to argue it, but then just relented. And Cisco slipped his hands onto Harry's sides.

"You forget, I know you, Harry. I know how that head of yours works. And I know you're blaming yourself for what happened today. Hell, you blame yourself for what happened years ago." Cisco explained. Harry's face was a quiet blank, the wheels turning effortlessly in his eyes.

"Why shouldn't I?" He asked then, and Cisco raised both brows.

"Because, man... that was Thawne. Not you. We've talked about this." Cisco replied, exasperated. Harry sighed out of his nostrils, his hands slowly moving to rest on Cisco's arms.

"You always see the best in me. But what Thawne did here, and what I did on my own Earth... that's the worst of me. And it's not going anywhere, Ramon. It doesn't matter what I've done to repair things, on either Earth. It doesn't matter that I'm not Thawne. It will always come down to me. And what happened today... Zarah’s death? That’s on me, too." Before Cisco could respond to that, Harry pulled Cisco's hands from his hips, gently but firmly moving him aside so Harry could stand. "Every time I think maybe..." he stepped away from Cisco, over to the window, staring out, "Maybe I've found some semblance of redemption, whether here with you or on my own Earth, the truth always crawls back out of the shadows to remind me. I'm never going to be free of this." For a moment, Cisco couldn't even move. He couldn't speak. Harry's pain was so palpable that Cisco could feel it in the air. He finally forced himself up, getting to his feet and coming up behind Harry, hugging his tall frame from behind, flattening his forehead into Harry's spine.

"You're wrong, Harry. You've been redeemed like a thousand times over at this point." Cisco sighed into him, closing his eyes and refusing to let go, hands clasped on Harry's stomach.

"How so?" Harry asked after a long moment of warm quiet.

"Man, everything you do is to make up for what Thawne did. Everything you did on your own Earth after Zoom was to clean up the mess you made. You think you're some sort of terrible person, but you're not. A bad guy wouldn't suffer like you do. And I sure as hell wouldn't have married you if you were evil incarnate." He let a soft touch of humor settle into his words, but lifted his head and moved to turn Harry, who complied very willingly. Once they were facing each other, Cisco saw a single tear rolling down Harry's cheek and he sighed, reaching up and brushing it gently away. "You're good, Harry." He whispered, stepping right up into him, holding Harry's face in his hands. "You are so good." His voice cracked lightly, and Harry closed his eyes, letting out a breath as a few more tears escaped.

Then Harry was burying his face into Cisco's neck and hair, his arms wrapped so tight around Cisco that he had to get up on his toes so he could compensate. And Harry cried. Really cried, for the first time in a long time. And Cisco let him. He held him through it. He cried quietly along with him. Then, when Harry's sobs subsided, Cisco cleaned his face, he whispered how much he loved him, he kissed his lips fleetingly, he held him some more.

There was no one else Harry would ever break down like this with. In a way, it made Cisco feel special. But it also made him grateful, because he could help Harry through it. He could ease the ache. He could be the rock for a change. Harry was always there for him, easily taking on the brunt of whatever came at them. Being able to do the same for him was rare, and Cisco wasn't about to do it wrong.

Soon, they were both sitting side by side on the floor, legs outstretched, backs to the wall. Cisco had Harry's hand tangled in his own, resting in his lap. Harry's head was back against the wall, Cisco's head was on Harry's shoulder. And they were watching the holographic thunderstorm on the ceiling. 

"I don't deserve you. I hope you know that." Harry eventually said, and Cisco lifted his head, looking at Harry's profile. "That being said," he continued, turning his face to look at him, "I'm glad I have you." Cisco smiled at that, he couldn't help it.

"Don't worry, Harry. I'm not going anywhere. Ever. You're stuck with me." He said warmly. "We'll get through it all. Together." Harry let his eyes linger on Cisco's face, then leaned in and kissed him warmly, ever so softly.

"Good. Because... I can't do it on my own. Not anymore." Harry admitted. And Cisco knew instantly that it couldn't have been easy for him to say. Harry didn't like appearing weak. And even though he was having a well-deserved breakdown moment, saying those words out loud must have been awful. "I know I don't say it often, Ramon. But I love you." Cisco grinned at that, resting his head back on Harry's shoulder.

"You don't have to say it often. You show me, all the time. And that's everything." He closed his eyes, sighing lightly, a soft rumble of thunder filling the air around them. Then he felt Harry's head resting gently against his. Neither one of them said anything more for a long time. And when they finally went to sleep, Harry had nightmares. Just like Zarah had wanted. And Cisco held him through that, too. 

There were no words that would ever truly erase Harry's guilt or regret. There was no magic wand to flick away Harry's ghosts. Even time was a debatable cure. But fate wasn't entirely unkind. Cisco wouldn't let Harry battle it all alone, because he already knew damn well that Harry would be there for him. And as Harry finally fell back to sleep, Cisco held him close and whispered, "I've got you."

And for a little while, the ghosts stayed away and let Harry be.


	18. Okay, Right, Yes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry should really learn to take Cisco at his word, even when Ramon is drunk.

"What's that smell?" Cisco slurred, only half aware that he was even standing at this point. Trying to find the right mix of alcohol to get Barry even buzzed had turned into a badly played game of charades, Caitlin passing out on Joe's couch, and Barry mildly amused that their bi-weekly hangout night had ended with Cisco drunk off his ass.

"Fresh air, you martian." Harry chided, but Cisco caught the slight smirk on his face, nearly tumbling off the curb as he stepped out into the street, Harry's strong hands grabbing him before he had a chance to fall face first. "Slow down." He ordered, a little more grumpily.

"You're really pretty, I ever tell you that?" Cisco hummed, grinning, hands gripping sloppily at Harry's ribs. Harry just sighed. "You've got... really nice lips..." Cisco mused, then swayed. "You sure that's fresh air?" He asked again, turning in Harry's grasp as the taller man guided him toward the car. "You know, you missed out... on... like a lot..." He stumbled through his words, not even remotely aware of how lazy his pronunciation sounded. Harry never came to the bi-weekly hangouts. Mostly because his idea of having fun didn't entail scientific experiments with alcohol and speedsters. Or games. Or most anything terribly interactive. And even though Harry got along well with everyone on the team these days, he was still not the overtly social type. Barry'd had to call him to pick up Cisco.

"I'm sure." He demurred, opening the passenger door and motioning for Cisco to get in. Which he started to, but then he stopped, turned and poked Harry in the chest.

"I'm not sure you understand. If you came to these things, you'd have fun, Harry. I know it." He dragged a few of his words out a little longer than necessary. But his tongue wasn't cooperating quite right. He let out a little giggle. "I think I'm drunk."

"You are drunk." Harry agreed, smirking, unable to help himself. He was finding this far more amusing than he should. Cisco furrowed his brows.

"Stop enjoying this. You'll be cleanin up my puke in the mornin." He mumbled. Harry shook his head, leaned forward and kissed Cisco's delightfully tingly lips for a moment. Something Cisco was more than happy to comply with, but then Harry placed a hand on top of Cisco's head and pretty much pushed him into the car.

"Hey! I wasn't done!" Cisco pouted, but swung his feet in, Harry closing the door. It took him a moment to even find the seat belt. It was Harry who eventually buckled him in before starting the car and pulling out into the darkened street.

"I bet with your help we could totally get Barry drunk. At least once. For like... longer than a minute." Cisco said, reaching forward and pressing the buttons on the radio without really having an objective. Harry clenched his jaw at the constantly changing stations, then swatted Cisco's hand away and shut the radio off. Cisco crossed his arms, pouting lightly. "Always so grumpy." He mumbled. Cisco didn't drink a lot. None of them did, really. This was only the third time they'd tried to get past Barry's metabolism. Which was something that Harry no doubt was happy about.

"I'm not going to participate in your mindless experiment." Harry said with quiet humor, glancing sideways at Cisco when they got to a red light. Cisco met his gaze and for a peacefully mind numbing moment, everything was quiet in the car. It was just Harry staring at him, dark shadows playing in the streetlights danced across his features, his swirling blue eyes somehow deepened in the night. And Cisco found himself sighing.

"When we get back, we are totally having sex." Cisco said then. Or more like blurted out. And Harry chuckled, pulling the car forward when the light changed green.

"Sure, Casanova." He replied incredulously. Cisco grinned. Because a drunk Cisco might be a little lazy, a little hard to have a real conversation with. But a drunk Cisco could also be really, _really_ frisky.

"You wait. You'll see." He mumbled, scooting down low in the passenger seat and watching the night world go by with a smile.

* * *

"My shoe is stuck." Cisco whined, sitting on the edge of the bed. He'd managed to get one off, but the other just didn't seem to want to let his foot go. He heard Harry sigh before he wandered over to him, crouching in front of him.

"You didn't untie it." Harry said softly, long fingers pulling the laces apart and then peeling the shoe off. Harry stood up, and Cisco attempted to look up at him, but ended up falling back flat on the bed.

"You're too tall sometimes." Cisco said, looking up at the ceiling. "Oh, wait... I need to pee..." He pushed himself up onto his elbows, then wagged a hand at Harry who practically rolled his eyes right out the door before grabbing Cisco's hand and pulling him to a standing position. Cisco grinned. "You love me, you know it." He said, slapping Harry's ass as he wandered past him toward the bathroom. He could practically hear Harry stiffen and chuckled as he closed the door. After he relieved himself, which felt like it took forever, he remembered to wash his hands. Which was a hell of an accomplishment. But then he saw his reflection and cringed. 

"Ew." He said to himself. His hair was a mess and he looked very flushed. "Need a shower. Yeah." He chuckled then. "I'm talking to myself." Which wasn't nearly as funny as it seemed. He managed to strip himself and get in the shower, mumbling and singing a little as he got himself clean and his hair washed. He barely dried himself after, not even bothering to wrap himself in a towel as he came out of the bathroom to find Harry sitting against the headboard in sweatpants and a t-shirt, fiddling with something on his tablet. Harry glanced at him once, then blinked and stared at him.

"Ramon." Harry said, just his name. But he managed to make it sound like a scolding and a question all at once. Cisco responded by practically hopping onto the bed happily naked, landing on his knees, Harry's body shifting as the mattress did. Cisco reached for the tablet, but Harry quickly held it out of the way, Cisco's body half draping over Harry's. "You're still drunk. You should sleep." Harry said, but set the tablet on the side table as Cisco shifted and then flopped onto his back in complete view for Harry.

"Nope. Don't wanna." Cisco replied, staring at Harry with a lazy smile as he reached over and began to caress Harry's dick through his pants. Harry took in an involuntary breath, but swallowed and gripped Cisco's hand firmly.

"Wouldn't you rather be sober?" He asked, reaching over with his free hand and moving wet strands of Cisco's hair out of his face. But Cisco could see the heat there in Harry's eyes, the hunger. It didn't take much. Cisco knew just how attracted to him that Harry was. And he was practically waving himself in front of him, begging for it.

"Nope. Not this time." Cisco replied, pulling his hand away from Harry and rolling over, scooting himself down, and gripping the edge of Harry's sweatpants. He pulled at it before Harry could protest much further, exposing Harry's steadily growing dick. "Nope, nope." Cisco mumbled, breathing hot breath on the head of Harry's cock before licking at it, then sliding his wet mouth over it, taking as much of it in as he could. Harry responded by hissing lightly, one hand curling into the blankets.

"Damn..." Harry whispered, eyes closing. Yeah, there was no way Harry was going to protest now. Cisco might be drunk, but he knew damn well what to do. And with this much alcohol in his system, he was willing to do most anything with Harry. He worked Harry's dick and balls expertly, moaning softly as he sheathed Harry's dick as deep as he could into his mouth. The salty taste of pre-cum met his taste buds and he slid Harry out with a slick pop, glancing up at Harry's t-shirt clad chest as he breathed heavily.

"You. Clothes. Off." Cisco ordered, getting up on his knees. For a moment, Harry stared him down, his bluer than blue eyes intent, a cold fire burning that Cisco loved. Then Harry slid off the bed, peeling off his shirt and letting his sweatpants fall the rest of the way off, stepping out of them. Cisco sighed at the sight of him. The lean, well-formed muscles, the trail of dark hair from his belly button to his now fully erect dick, the white scars that randomly dotted his flesh. "God, you're scrumptious." Cisco mumbled, and Harry cracked a smile.

"Stop talking, Ramon." He ordered, kneeling onto the mattress before him. And Cisco nodded quickly.

"Okay, right, _yes_." He rambled, Harry shaking his head before kissing him. 

Cisco loved how he tasted, the supple feel of his lips massaging his own, how warm and wet and teasing Harry's tongue was with his. He gripped Harry hard by the shoulders, pushing him down firmly into the mattress, breaking the kiss just long enough to straddle Harry and position himself over him. Then Cisco was kissing him again, small drops of water from his hair dotting the pillowcase as he kissed Harry with a fervor. Harry's hands were all over him, kneading flesh, gripping Cisco's ass, fingers digging in. Cisco moaned, grinding their dicks together, needing friction and fast.

He found a rhythm, dragging their groins together with a steady momentum that had his breath catching. He pulled their mouths apart, trailing his lips down Harry's stubble laden jaw, suckling at Harry's throat. Harry turned his head, letting Cisco taste and tease, making a slow way down Harry's torso, drawing a nipple into his mouth. Harry's hand curled into his hair, fingers slipping into the wet strands. His other hand reached across the bed, dragging the drawer of the nightstand open and rifling around for the lube. But Cisco went down on Harry again so fast and eager that Harry nearly dropped the bottle, growling out, his head going back, his other hand fighting not to grip Cisco's hair harder as Ramon sucked and pumped at Harry's dick.

"Shit..." he heard Harry mutter, letting his dick go with a deep, heated breath before he brought Harry too far over the edge. He reached up and grabbed the lube from Harry, spreading Harry's legs apart with his other hand. And Harry looked slightly surprised. Cisco wasn't usually this take charge. In fact, most of the time he was happy to bottom. He'd only ever topped with Harry twice the entire time they'd been together. And both times were because Harry had asked him to. But this time... Harry wasn't asking. And neither was Cisco. And when Ramon met Harry's gaze, he could see that he was pleasantly surprised and even more hungry than before.

It made an involuntary sound escape Cisco's throat, and he upended the lube onto his fingers, wasting no time to slick himself up with it. Cisco panted as he pumped his own dick a few times, Harry watching him every moment. Then Cisco slid his fingers over Harry's hole. The taller man instantly relaxed back into the bed, his legs spreading wider, cock twitching, breath catching. He raised his hands, letting out a deep sigh as he clasped them behind his head, watching Cisco with gritted teeth as Ramon worked his hole open greedily. He wasn't being as gentle as he should have been, but Harry wasn't complaining. If anything, Harry seemed really into it. Because one moment, Cisco had two fingers inside him, and the next Harry was reaching up and yanking Cisco down. 

"Now, Ramon." He growled out, then swallowed Cisco in a mind shattering, earth quaking kiss.

Cisco didn't need to be told twice. He positioned himself, pushing in with one quick, hard thrust that had them both gasping and crying out. Harry's fingers dug harshly into Cisco's ribs, nails almost painful in his skin. And for a long moment, all either one of them could do was breathe. Harry's breaths were hot against Cisco's parted lips, and then Harry moved his hips, a subtle invitation for Cisco to get started.

The rhythm Ramon found was frustrating and quick, greedy and perfect. 

They weren't normally this rough. Hell, Cisco couldn't remember a time when Harry had ever been this rough with him. But Harry was taking it like a fricken champ, and Cisco was loving the expression on his husband's face. A mix of pleasure and pain that signaled Harry's release, an orgasm that came harsh and pulsing, Harry's legs practically wrapping around Cisco as he came. But Cisco didn't stop moving, didn't dare. He was so close to the edge, so ready, _fuck_ he wanted to come, too. And then he did, crying out Harry's name harshly, sheathing himself hard and deep inside of him, arms shaking, groin twitching, till he spent himself completely inside Harry and collapsed on top of him, not even caring that he squashed Harry's cum in between them.

They were both breathing heavily, almost ragged. And neither one of them was moving. Harry was completely relaxed against the mattress, all limbs splayed out, body beaded in sweat, groin still twitching slightly from time to time. 

"Dude..." Cisco mumbled into Harry's shoulder. "Holy shit." He breathed out, slowly lifting his head. Harry didn't open his eyes, but he sighed and nodded in agreement.

"I think..." Harry whispered, "You need to get drunk more often." And when Harry opened his eyes and looked at Cisco, they both ended up laughing.

* * *

"Ungh... why?" Cisco's voice echoed in the toilet bowl as a wave of nausea passed through him. Everything ached. His head felt like an anvil had been dropped on it. And the toilet bowl smelled way too stale for comfort. Harry was sitting on the edge of the tub, making small circles on Cisco's back with one hand, the other holding Cisco's hair back and out of the way. Eureka was meowing on the other side of the door, which was closed to keep the morning light out. "Aaah..." he moaned, "Such a bad idea...." He spit into the toilet, keeping his eyes closed. He could practically feel the humor flowing off Harry in waves. "You really need to stop enjoying this so much." Cisco said, lifting his head slightly to turn and look at Harry who was, just as he thought, smiling.

"Never." Harry said, letting go of Cisco's hair to reach up and grab a towel off the rack. He handed it to him, flushing the toilet after Cisco sat back and pressed himself against the wall. "If you ask me," He said, leaning his forearms on his knees and watching as Cisco wiped his mouth, "It's totally worth it." Harry was looking at him with a sort of sweet fondness. And Ramon found his eyes drawn to the rather bright hickey he'd left on Harry's throat. He found himself smiling, too.

"Yeah. Totally worth it." He agreed, though grimaced a little when Harry stood up.

"How ‘bout I make breakfast?" Harry offered, reaching for the door as he stepped over Cisco's legs. "Greasy bacon, slimy eggs." He quipped, but Cisco gripped his stomach.

"Oh, that's just... seriously, that's cruel." He grimaced, pressing the towel to his face and hiding his eyes. Harry opened the door with a chuckle.

"Come on, sunshine. I'll make you tea instead." Harry countered, holding a hand out for Cisco to take, which he did happily, leaning into Harry every step of the way to the kitchen. He didn't leave Harry's side, turning into a human piece of Velcro as Harry boiled the water and set the tea bag to stew.

"I love you, ya know." Cisco sighed once the nice hot mint tea was in hand. Harry reached up, smoothing Cisco's hair out of his face.

"I love you, too." Harry said easily. Cisco smiled weakly.

"Even when I'm drunk?" Cisco asked, and Harry smirked before nodding. "Even when I'm hungover?" Harry nodded again. "Good." Cisco sighed contentedly before breathing in deeply the scent of his mint medley. Harry just beamed at him and pressed his lips to Ramon's forehead warmly. 

Even though he'd been drunk off his ass, Cisco remembered most of what happened last night. And it had been good. Really, really good. Definitely more fevered and rougher than Cisco was used to, but yeah. Good. Great, even. It had mostly cured the drunken haze he'd been in, which was probably why he could still remember it all.

Now if only amazing sex could cure hangovers, too...


	19. One Hundred Yesterdays (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While attempting to stop a meta whose powers rival Zoom's in difficulty and strength, a terrible turn of events lands Harry in a desolate, barren world with his new foe, dangerous creatures, and little to no resources. He has no way to get home, and is steadily losing hope that the team will ever come for him. But sometimes hope reveals itself in the unimaginable...

_Harry smelled wet earth._

_That was the first thing that came to him long before he was able to open his eyes. The ground beneath him was cold and damp, like right after an Autumn rainfall. The dewy, decaying scent of fallen leaves and wet trees embedded itself into his senses. When he was finally able to force his eyelids open, all he saw was gray sky and barren tree limbs, void of leaves and anything resembling green. The air was as chill as the ground beneath him, seeping into every pore and sore muscle against his will._

_He needed to get up. Needed to move, assess the damage. But that was turning out to be far harder than it should have. Every limb felt like they were made of pure lead. There was a distinct, strange, warm pain in his lower back. There was a pulling in his chest, like his muscles were attached to string and someone was randomly tugging at it. He didn't seem to have the coordination he should, as though whatever signals his brain was sending to his body just wasn't getting there._

_It felt like he laid there for hours, struggling in frustration just to get one hand to go up. But then everything came together quickly after that._

_Eventually he was able to sit up, get a really good look around. And there wasn't anything he recognized. Just arid trees, a damp, debris covered forest floor, and a dimly lit world he didn't recognize. No signs of people, buildings or civilization. Great._

"One thing at a time, Harrison." _He whispered and was distinctly aware of how his throat ached by saying just those few words. He ran his hands over his body, bit by bit. He couldn't find any damage, any reason for the strange sensations in his form. It wasn't till he reached behind him that he felt a slick, warm wetness. Pulling his hand back in view revealed blood covered fingers. It wasn't exactly like he could really look to see, but further probing with fingertips revealed a cut, about half a foot long and far too deep for comfort. There was a lot of blood. But it seemed it had stopped sometime while he'd been unconscious, which was confusing. Wounds like that didn't stop bleeding of their own accord._

_After he was pretty sure that was the only damage to be had, he spent the next ten minutes getting to his feet. It was the most grueling, frustrating, pain in the ass thing he'd done in ages. He was practically hugging a rotting tree by the time he was standing. Though his arms were cooperating much better, his legs still seemed to need time to get with the program. So he stood there, holding on to the peeling, rotting bark of the tree and waited, looking around, trying to put the pieces together of what had happened._

_They'd been in the breach room when Zero Point had attacked again. A meta with the unique ability to manipulate gravity, which was deadly when he did it inside the human body. He'd been the most dangerous meta they'd gone up against in awhile. To say he was hard to beat was an understatement. He'd nearly killed Allen. Thank goodness for his regenerative capabilities. It had eventually been Cisco's idea to change the rules a bit._ 'Send him some place where he can't hurt anyone but himself.' _The idea was simple, really. When Zero attacked again, lure him to the breach room. Cisco would send him through to an uninhabited Earth they'd found among the many in the multiverse. Trap him there for good. All great in theory. But nothing could be simple, could it._

_Everything had gone smoothly at first. But when Cisco opened the breach and Barry rammed Zero into it, Zero manipulated gravity waves to yank Harry in with him. And looking around, Harry was pretty sure they were both now stranded on this barren Earth. The multimillion dollar question was... where was Zero?_

_By the time an hour had passed, Harry made his slow way through the woods. Stiff legs were finally cooperating. He'd managed to find his pulse rifle not far from where he'd woken up. It wasn't damaged, which was pretty much the only bit of good luck he was having. It seemed the farther he went, the more barren things got. And to make things worse, the sun was setting. He needed to find a place to hold up. But everything was the same no matter where he looked, which was honestly fucking disorienting. Eventually he settled for climbing up into a particularly large, sturdy tree. It didn't have leaves to hide him, but at least he wouldn't be on the ground and he would hear anyone coming through._

_Night fell and the temperature dropped considerably, which wouldn't have been all that bad, but his clothes had never dried from being on the damp ground. And his back, though still strangely not bleeding, was hurting like he'd been ground in a blender. He could also feel the edges of a fever coming on, which meant infection. As he settled on a particularly wide branch, legs hanging to either side and back to the trunk, he couldn't help but wonder what was taking the others so goddamn long to come get him. They should have been here by now. He should have been home, with a hot cup of coffee and Cisco acting way too concerned about his back. But instead he was stuck in apocalypse world, no doubt with Zero somewhere out there, probably pissed and looking for r-_

_His thought was cut off by a sudden, shrill and terrible sound that was so very distinctly inhuman. It had Harry freezing in place, hands gripping the pulse rifle so tight that his knuckles blanched. Even in the steadily growing dark, he could still make out shapes. And what he saw was something about the size of a horse, a thick, muscular shadow padding easily through the forest debris. Only it was not a horse. Not even close. It looked like some sort of leopard, but with leathery skin that shined oddly in what little light the world had to offer. And the teeth. Fuck. The mouth on that thing would give him nightmares, he was sure of it. It made slow circles around the tree he was in, claws digging into the ground at some spots. It wasn't till it lifted its head that Harry realized... the thing had no eyes. And yet it was making its way around so damn easily, random high pitched tones escaping its vibrating throat. Echo location, maybe?_

_It seemed to know he was up there, that much he was sure of. And just to prove him right, it began climbing the tree. Way too large cat like claws dug into the bark, the sound of wood grinding heard as it got closer and closer. Everything in Harry tensed, adrenaline began to surge through his body. He wasn't about to be this thing's dinner, not if he could help it. He aimed his pulse rifle at it, but he knew he had to wait for a clear shot. If he missed, he was as good as dead. The seconds seemed to go far too slow, till finally the creature, so impossibly large and terrifying, was a mere five feet away from Harry. It balanced precariously on two different branches, growling low, rows of teeth bared._ "Sorry, pussycat." _Harry whispered, and fired._

_The creature fell from the tree in a snarling, swirling mess of limbs and claws. It hit the ground with a thud, and Harry kept firing, aiming expertly. Once, twice, three times. Till it stopped moving and the smell of burning flesh filled the air. "Shit..." he muttered, still wide eyed and wary. This Earth might not have people in it, but it sure as hell wasn't uninhabited. As the quiet began to settle in around him, sounds filling up the night from various animals in all directions, Harry tugged his jacket closer around him. There was no way he was going to sleep now. He held his pulse rifle ever ready for a showdown, and despite the ache in every inch of his body and the steadily growing fever, he refused to close his eyes. Refused to be anything's prey._

_If fate was kind, Zero Point would be faring far less well. And the team would find Harry before morning. Or so was the hope he repeated in his head, repeatedly, like a mantra or a prayer. One that, he would realize in time, would go completely unheard..._

* * *

Three months.

Harry had been gone for three months since Zero Point had dragged him through the breach with him. Cisco had nightmares about that day all the time. Especially that moment, just before Harry disappeared. The look on his face, the startled expression, Harry's glasses flying to the ground, his back catching on a twisted and broken railing far too hard before _poof_. He was gone. And Cisco couldn't do anything about it. Zero Point had slammed one last gravity wave out, throwing Barry, Caitlin, Joe and himself like rag dolls. The result was broken bones in all of them, and Cisco's goggles shattering into far too many pieces.

He'd been working non-stop since then to fix them. He cannibalized pieces from Reverb's goggles, he refitted the power source, he adjusted everything to the exact data collected from when he'd opened the breach to Earth-714. But they weren't working. He could still vibe but opening the breaches to someplace that far without the help of his goggles was impossible. He just couldn't see the way. And so he spent every damn day, every waking moment, trying to fix them.

His most recent battle with the goggles had him going without sleep for nearly two days now. He was exhausting himself more and more as time went on, to the point where Caitlin was getting angry at him. But he almost didn't care. He had to fix his goggles, he had to open the breach, he had to get his husband home. Safe. Alive. It should have been an easy fix. He knew every damn part, every inch and every piece of his goggles. So why couldn't he find the problem? Why couldn't he fix them?! Harry would have been able to do it in a matter of minutes. 

It figured, the one guy who could solve the problem was the guy who needed saving.

"Cisco." Jesse's soft tone met his ears and he lifted his head slowly. He was sitting on the steps in the breach room for about the millionth time since all this started. He came back here when he hit a roadblock and needed to clear his head. Only problem was, every time he was in this room, he was reminded of what he'd lost... how he’d failed. He let out a steady breath and looked at Harry's daughter as she sat down beside him. She looked as tired as he did. She was running herself ragged going between Earths. Between keeping the business running and being Jesse Quick on Earth-2, and constantly coming back to this Earth for updates and to help out, she was just as tired as Cisco. But she leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder as she let out a slow, deep sigh.

They sat like that for a long time in the relative dark. It was quiet, the only real sounds coming from the ventilation system. They'd sat like this before, several times now. Neither one of them said what they were thinking, simply because it was too painful. Her father, his husband, might be dead by now. But it was a reality neither one of them was willing to face. 

"I miss him." Jesse whispered suddenly, so softly that at first Cisco thought he'd imagined it. But she lifted her head, one hand wiping at a wayward tear. "I used to think that he was too hands on sometimes, ya know? Too over-protective. But..." she cleared her throat a little, looking down at the floor, "I miss him hovering over my shoulder, or interrogating me about a date." Her smile was sad and small. Slowly, she met Cisco's gaze.

"When I was sixteen, I went to the prom with this guy, Dugger. And I was so excited. I didn't even tell my dad that I had a date, because I knew he'd just scare the crap out of him." She stretched her legs down the steps, glancing to her booted feet. "I told him I was just gonna go with a bunch of girls. And he believed me. I hated lying to him." She folded her hands in her lap then, her eyes swimming with the memory she was retelling. "Then halfway through the night, Dugger showed me a room key to some motel down the road from the school. At first, I just laughed at him. I thought it was a joke. But he told me if I wanted to continue being his girlfriend, then we needed to take things to the next level. I wasn't ready for that. So I told him no. And you know what he did?" She glanced at Cisco, who shook his head quietly, his dark eyes watching her softly. She let out a small sigh. "He told me I would probably have been a bad lay anyway, and he took my best friend to the motel instead. I was so angry at them, and so hurt." She turned to look at Cisco, then, shifting her body to face him fully. 

"Even though I lied to him, Dad was the first person I could think of to call. He came and got me, didn't ask questions, didn't throw a fit. He just... held me and let me cry and rant and rave. And when I finally got it all out, he just hugged me and told me he was proud of me. And that if I let him, he'd make sure Dugger never got to have sex with anyone ever again." She smiled at that, and so did Cisco. He had to, he couldn't help it. It was so like Harry. But slowly, Jesse's face sobered and then her eyes grew wet with tears that wanted nothing more than to tumble freely. "What if we can't fix the goggles?" She asked quietly, "Or what if we do, but when we get there, he's already..." her voice trailed off, and Cisco found himself shaking his head instantly.

He'd had that thought a million times over. What if Harry was already dead? But no. No, he couldn't believe that. Harry never would have stopped looking for him. He’d never stopped trying to get Jesse back from Zoom. The least they could do was hope that Harry was still alive, pissing someone or something off. It was also more than that for Cisco, though. Something in his very core told him that Harry wasn't dead. Something so deep and real that he just couldn't deny it. 

"Jesse," Cisco lifted his hands and wiped the now falling tears from her face, "He's alive. I know it. I can't explain how or why, but I do. We can't give up." She closed her eyes and moved into him, a sob escaping her throat as she hugged him tightly. He folded his arms around her, trying to offer what little comfort he could. He felt tears stinging his own eyes. His chest got tight with the now familiar ache of grief that wanted so badly to be recognized, but Cisco refused to let it take hold. He let his eyes wander to where the breach had been those months ago, and he took in a deep breath, letting it out bit by bit. 

"We're coming, Harry." He whispered, a prayer in itself to whatever gods might be listening. No one answered. No one ever did. But that was the thing about hope... it was always silent, until it wasn't…

* * *

 _'In reality, hope is the worst of evils, because it prolongs the torments of man.'_ -Friedrich Nietsche

* * *

_There was no real winter here._

_It rained every day. Every god forsaken damn day. And every night got colder than a jilted woman. Harry eventually settled into a routine that was more about making it from one day to the next than living. This place had a hell of a learning curve. He was living a crash course in survival, and the more time went by he was honestly surprised he'd made it this long. Even more surprised that Zero Point had._

_Apparently, something about this Earth completely subdued the meta's abilities, which made him just as human as Harry. And that gave Harry all the advantages. Which was why the two times they'd gone toe to toe, it was Harrison Wells who'd come out the victor. The only reason Zero was even still alive was because they'd gotten attacked by a Twilight Saber. The same kind of creature Harry had seen his first night on this Earth. Yeah, he was naming things now. Cisco would have been so proud._

_It turned out that the Sabers had tasty meat on their bones. Along with just about every other creature he'd managed to hunt so far. And there were many. It was almost like a prehistoric world, minus dinosaurs. Though the animals he did come across were distinctly alien, two thirds of which were predatory and very dangerous. It made him wonder sometimes what happened to the evolutionary chain on this world that absolutely no primates, humans or the like evolved, and all these odd creatures existed._

_Thinking about seemingly useless things like that was one of the few things that kept him sane anymore._

_He talked to himself. A lot. He wasn't entirely sure if that was healthy or not, but it got him through the tedium sometimes. Thanks to the miniature clean energy renewing power source in the pulse rifle, he was never without a weapon. But he'd learned early on that many of the predators on this Earth were attracted to sound. In fact, all the predatory species here had no eyes. It was a strange dichotomy from the herbivores and smaller omnivores, who all had regular features. It didn't make the predators any less deadly, however. Most got around with some form of sonar, others by sense of smell or both. There wasn't a night he didn't come across one or more. And not a night he didn't fight for his life. Because that was just how it was. The predators always came out at night. So he'd learned to sleep what little he could allow himself during the day._

_There were other odd things about this Earth._

_The water itself was intriguing. For all intents and purposes, it looked like, tasted like and worked like typical water. But that first week, when he'd accidentally plunged himself into a river while on the run from something that reminded him of a bear with lizard scales, he'd figured out something remarkable about it. The water, whether rain or river or puddle, had healing properties. Every injury he'd gotten since he'd landed here, and there had been far too many for his liking, healed within hours of being exposed to water. Sure, he had some gnarly scars now. Fighting the things he had to fight always left him with some sort of wound. But the water kept him alive. And drinking it made him feel stronger. Though part of that he was sure was the fact that he was always on the move._

_The muscles in his body had more definition now. Running was much easier than it ever had been before, thanks to the amount of it he did daily. If he wasn't living in a literal Hell, he might have been appreciative of those facts. But as the days stretched on, and the nights grew longer, he was beginning to feel a little bit like he was losing his mind._

_It started first with hearing voices._

_There was a bird here that could mimic literally everything, down to the exact tone of voice and word usage. He would have been impressed if the first time he'd seen one, it hadn't been swearing,_ ‘Son of a bitch!’ _at him in his own voice over and over again. So when he first heard someone say,_ 'Harrison' _over and over again in hushed whispers bouncing back and forth from every direction, he thought it was a flock of them trying to mess with him. Till he realized it was a woman's voice he was hearing. And he knew damn well there were no women on this Earth._

_There was a glorious moment of thinking that maybe it was Snow. And hope flared wild and raging until he got his wits about him and remembered that she never called him Harrison. He was Harry to everyone he knew, except for Jesse. Hope was then replaced by anger and nonsensical yelling till the whispering stopped and he was left heaving heavy breaths in the chilly morning air._

_A few days after that was the first time he’d seen her._

_Tess._

_That was when he really knew he was hallucinating. Because Tess was long dead... and yet he would see her slipping through the trees, stepping over a log, dipping her feet into a river. She'd whisper his name, and every time he'd squeeze his eyes shut and pray for her to go away. She was always gone when he opened his eyes. It was a terrible reality, knowing he was losing it. That this place was making him go insane, slowly chipping away at his humanity, his spirit, and now his mind. What more could be taken from him? Well, his memories. He still had those. And he wasn't about to give them up for anything._

_He'd spend his nights sitting in the quiet, just thinking about Jesse and her first steps, or the first time Cisco told him he loved him, or the impromptu food fight he'd had with Caitlin, or the heart to heart talk he'd had with Barry about apologizing to Iris after a fight. His family, his friends, his life. He couldn't lose those memories. So he called on them relentlessly. Problem was, as time went on, he felt himself forgetting. Faces, voices, moments, feelings. It was all fading away, becoming ghosts of ghosts. And now he got to be tortured by Tess. A hallucination of a ghost. Wonderful._

'You don't really think that, do you?' _He heard her voice, a strange echoing thing without real substance from right behind him. He froze halfway through skinning a deer like creature with tusks and a tail like a lion. He'd managed to catch it and was trying to carve the meat from it with a bone knife he'd made weeks earlier. He had to get what he could from it before nightfall, because then he'd have no choice but to abandon it to the scavengers._

_Slowly, he turned, ears burning with the fear of what he might see... or not see._

_There she was. Smiling at him. Perfect and healthy and looking oh-so-very-real. She tilted her head a little at him, her long white summer dress and flowing blond hair not even budging in the chill breeze that made him hunch his shoulders momentarily._

"You're not real." _He stated, his voice grating and raspy. She just shook her head at him, taking a step toward his little makeshift firepit. She looked like she had so many years ago. Vibrant and happy and so full of a glowing joy that he never could figure out._

'That's not true.' _She said easily, sitting down on an overturned log he'd dragged into the little clearing. She stretched out her legs and crossed them at the ankles, bare feet without a single speck of dirt on them._ 'Real is a pretty relative term for someone who has seen the things you've seen.' _She smiled so bright and warm it made something deep inside of him ache. He tore his eyes away from her, staring down at the carcass before him. He rolled his shoulders, swallowing, then simply went back to work. He needed to ignore this. Needed to just keep working._

_After about ten minutes, when he'd gotten it totally skinned, he looked back over his shoulder and frowned. She was still sitting there, in the same exact position, watching him. He stood up, wiping his hands on his pants. He'd given up on being clean a long time ago. Not that he didn't bathe. But being dirty was pretty much part of the deal when it came to surviving in this hell hole. He didn't say anything to her, not at first. He just stared at her, jaw clenching, eyes narrowing. Then he looked around, reaching down and picking up the first rock he could find. Wordlessly, he threw it at her. Not some careless toss, not some haphazard throw. He lobbed it with all his strength. And it went right through her chest, bouncing off a tree behind her and tumbling out of view. He slowly smirked, oddly satisfied with the result._

"Not real." _He said harshly, a tinge of anger in his tone. Why, oh why, did he have to be hallucinating? But Tess just chuckled at him, shaking her head, then motioned to him with one hand._

'I may not have an understandable form, Harrison. But I assure you, I'm very real.' _Harry nearly bared his teeth at that, taking three long strides toward her._

"You're a hallucination. You're nothing more than a figment of my over-exhausted mind!" _He nearly yelled, resisting the urge to kick at her to get his point across. Instead, he balled his hands into fists and hovered over her._ "I don't want you here." _He growled, meeting her gaze and feeling... feeling empty._

_Suddenly, all the rage melted and he was just numb. It happened so quickly that he nearly staggered backward because of it. Hands went out grasping at air as he nearly stepped into the firepit. Once he caught his footing, he turned to look at her, only to see that she was now directly in front of him. His heart nearly leaped out of his chest._

'Perhaps I should be more clear.' _She said, lifting a very real looking hand and touching his cheek with it. But he couldn't feel her fingers._ 'I'm not Tess. I simply look like her. I took the form I thought would comfort you most.' _He blinked at that, mouth opening slightly, confusion filling him up and spilling out, but he couldn't voice any opposition._ 'I'm the embodiment of the one thing you've been holding onto since you got here, Harrison.' _She said, dropping her hand and smiling at him with such impossible warmth._ 'Hope.'

"Hope." _He repeated, but demurely. He took a slow step backward._ "Hope has a form." _He added incredulously. But it didn't seem to deter her... it... whatever. She just folded her hands together and watched him._

'Yes. For the purposes of your survival,' _She glanced around a moment,_ 'I do. Normally, I don't like to manifest.' _She looked back at him._ 'But I can feel your will fading. Your spirit growing dark. I've been watching you from that very first moment you lay bleeding on my ground. I've watched you fight to survive, taking no more than you need, killing only to live, following the laws of nature without realizing it. And I've watched you hold on with iron fists to the people you love most. I've seen the memories you've replayed in your mind, over and over again like movies on repeat.' _Harry felt his mouth go dry, felt everything in him screaming that this was insane, that this wasn't real, that he'd finally snapped. But there was something about all this that seemed strangely familiar, strangely... real._

"What are you?" _He found himself whispering. And she smiled, so bright and clear, like so many of the sunrises he'd seen in this place._

'For now, we'll stick with Hope.' _She said, moving toward him._ 'And I'm going to help you survive just a little while longer. You see, Harrison... you've given me a great gift. An insight into a species I have never come across. And this alone is worth more than you can ever imagine. That being said, I want you to live. And though it will be a great loss to me, I want you to go home. To be with your husband, your daughter, your family. Because though you bring a unique perspective to my solitary existence, you don't belong here, Harrison.' _Slowly, she raised a finger toward his head. And something in him seemed to understand that she wasn't going to hurt him. His suspicious nature wanted him to step back, to put distance between them. Instead, he stood there like a statue. Instinct was nowhere to be found._ 'You have to hold on for a little while longer. They're coming for you, Harrison. So... have Hope.' _She touched his forehead._

_And before he could reply, or even think of replying, the lights went out._


	20. One Hundred Yesterdays (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cisco has refused to stop believing that Harry is still alive, even after months of Wells being stranded on a barren and uninhabited Earth with a dangerous meta and god knows what else. He hasn't lost faith that they would find some way to get Harry back. Then a confusing encounter with a strange entity may offer a literal piece to the puzzle that Cisco's been missing from the start. And 'hope' might be far more tangible than anyone thought...

He could still smell Harry's cologne.

When Cisco had opened the cabinet in the bathroom, the smell of it had wafted out, filled his nose, his lungs. The airy scent of Old Spice was both comforting and heart wrenching, and Cisco had stood in front of that open cabinet for nearly ten minutes, unable to close it and not daring to reach in. Now that he was at S.T.A.R. Labs, he swore he could still smell it. Like it had burrowed into his senses, and every time he took a breath it was there to remind him of things both wonderful and painful. Things like how the cologne took on a very signature smell when settled into Harry's skin. Things like how Cisco loved to bury his face into Harry's chest just to take a deep breath of it. And then Harry would wrap his long arms around him, warm and safe and strong...

"Shit..." he whispered, the threat of tears in his eyes making his jaw clench. He pushed up from the chair he'd been sitting on for nearly three hours now. The table before him was a literal puzzle of all the pieces of his goggles and Reverb's. He'd decided to completely take them apart, start from scratch, figure out exactly what was missing and why he couldn't make them work. He'd labeled everything, made an inventory of parts. And now he just needed to test individual pieces, to figure out if it anything wasn't working as it should before putting it back in the whole. But first... more coffee.

Not that he really needed more. He was practically living off the stuff. Hot and black and pumped full of caffeine. It was even substituting meals now, mostly because he either forgot to eat or just didn't have the energy to do much more than munch on random junk food. Much to Caitlin's chagrin, that is. _'You need to take care of yourself, Cisco. You won't do anyone any good if you've passed out from hunger.'_ He knew she was right. She always was. But wasting time on eating was wasting time he could use to fix the goggles and get Harry home.

The sad part was, the people around him were beginning to lose faith. He'd heard Barry and Caitlin talking about the odds, that Harry was probably dead by now. Yeah, Cisco knew they had every reason to believe that. But he couldn't. His heart wouldn't survive it. And neither would Jesse's. That was why he wouldn't even think on it. And there was also this nagging sense in the back of his head that kept telling him that Harry was still alive, that he was far too stubborn to die. 

After everything that man had been through, suffered and survived, there was no way he was going to die now. He just... he couldn't. For about the millionth time in a little over three months, Cisco's eyes burned with the threat of tears as he made his way to the kitchen that they all used. Tears he more and more refused to shed. He needed to be strong, for Jesse. And to be able to find Harry. If he faltered, if he wavered in his resolve, then he would fail Harry. And that was just not an option.

There was something about loving someone this much that was painful. Being with Harry was a roller coaster ride. The man could be the most tender, most gentle and loving person on the planet. And he could also be the hardest, most dangerous and serious man in existence. Still... he was everything Cisco wanted. When Harry looked at him, Cisco could feel the Earth move. The man had quaked a stillness in him that Cisco hadn't even known existed. He'd taken all of Ramon's broken parts and fit them back together, piece by piece, proving to Cisco that he was so much more than experience had taught him. And not once had Harry ever given up on him.

Sure, Harry had given up on himself many times. But never on Cisco. And that was all Cisco had ever wanted from anyone. 

There were days before he'd met Harry that Cisco was pretty sure he was just not the kind of guy anyone wanted a forever with. He could make friends at the drop of a dime, but holding down a relationship, finding someone who was willing to take Cisco as he was? That was like seeing a unicorn, which everyone knew didn't exist.

And then a cantankerous, hardheaded, pain in the ass, frustrating man came into his life and proved to him unicorns were actually real. Harry was Cisco's unicorn. Though he'd probably torture him if he ever said that out loud. Because that was Harry. He was the guy who would never believe any of the good things people said about him. He would never see himself in the same light that Cisco did. Because he was blind to it. Sure, Cisco saw the darkness, too. But that was because Harry didn't try to deny it was there, he didn't lie about it or try to hide it. Instead, he used it as a tool to force himself to be better, to be the good man that everyone else knew he was. Harry was always trying to better. _'You and Jesse... you're my reasons. For everything.'_ Harry had told him once. Knowing that Harry loved them that much was sobering, and heartwarming. And a little overwhelming.

Sometimes, Cisco wondered how a man like Harry could love him so much. In so many ways, they were extreme opposites. But then Harry would smile when Cisco lost his temper or talk him back to calm when the world made him feel like crying or find a way to remind him that Cisco was so much stronger than he felt half the time. Harry always said Cisco brought the best out of him. Well, Harry did that for Cisco, too.

A thought that made him smile as he headed down the hall with a piping hot cup of coffee, back to the lab and the problem of a pair of vibing goggles that just wouldn't fricken work. But when he got back to the Cortex, he simply stopped next to the console desk where their monitors and computers were spread out.

"What the..." he whispered, then looked around without moving his head as though he were afraid if he budged too much, his brains might fall out. But the image before him didn't change. "I'm tripping." He muttered. Hallucinating. Had to be. Yup. _‘Way to go, Cisco,_ he thought. _That's what thinking about unicorns gets you._ It was the only explanation for what he was seeing, really.

He knew the face before him because he'd seen it in pictures Jesse had shown him. He'd seen it in an aged photo in Harry's wallet. He knew that face because he had told himself to remember it with kindness and respect. Tess had been such an integral part of Harry and Jesse's lives, how could he not? And yet now he was starting to regret it.

"I really need to cut back on the coffee..." He mumbled from where he was standing, looking down into the latest refill of his mug. Slowly, he reached over and set the coffee on the console beside him like it might explode. Then he cringed when he pulled his hand away. "And I need to sleep." He added, seeing she was still there, standing near Barry's suit, smiling brightly. Cisco narrowed his eyes and very slowly moved toward her, hands empty at his sides. The closer he got, though, the more real she seemed. Which was both fascinating and really fucking terrifying. He stopped about eight feet away, just staring at her. Then he squeezed his eyes shut, rubbed them, dropped his hands, counted ten out loud, and opened them.

'I'm real, Cisco.' She said, making Ramon nearly jump out of his skin, a hand clasping to his chest as he took two very quick steps backward, heart pounding and eyes going wide.

"HooolyHannah!" he blurted, then slowly lowered his hand, clearing his throat, unable to erase the grimace on his face. "Are you a ghost?!" He demanded, his voice slightly squeaky. "Because if you are, I so can't be haunted right now!" He took a couple more steps back, but she just stayed where she was, looking pleasantly calm in a way that reminded him a little bit of Jesse when she dealt with her Dad.

'Very far from it. Nor am I a hallucination.' She gently clasped her hands in front of her. 'So I don’t repeat the same mistake, I should inform you that I’m not Tess. I have merely... assumed her form for the time being.' Cisco froze, watching, listening. But then his eyes narrowed. This was nuts. Like, three-fries-short-of-a-Happy-Meal nuts. He blinked a few times. Nope, she was still standing there. Huh.

For a very long moment, she stared at him and he stared at her and he let out a deep breath. There was one way he could immediately think of to test the theory that he was either in fact losing his mind or being haunted. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a pen. And without so much as a word, he flicked it at her. The pen went through Not-Tess and hit the wall on the other side.

"HA!" Cisco found himself grinning, waving a hand at her, "If you're not a ghost and not a hallucination, explain that!" He put his hands on his hips feeling oddly triumphant. "Unless the explanation is that I am actually going insane which would make a lot of sense considering how little sleep I've had lately, but I really can't deal with that right now." His smile wavered as he rambled, but she grinned back at him, turning slightly to look at the pen that had rolled near her bare feet.

'I can see why you and Harrison work so well together. He had much the same reaction as you just now.' She said, looking back over at him. 'I’ve seen all his memories of you. They’re quite accurate.'

"Memories of..." Suddenly Cisco felt stunned, as though he'd been shocked into submission by her saying Harry's name. "You... _have you seen Harry_?" He whispered harshly, a tug in his throat, a pain in his chest that was all too real for this to be some sort of sleep-deprivation induced dream. When she nodded, he felt his limbs turn into rubber and he had to turn, hands finding the table with his disassembled goggles. He took in a deep breath, feeling slightly dizzy. "What is happening?" He said loud enough to make sure he could hear it over his own ragged heartbeat.

'He's alive, Cisco.' Not-Tess said, but not from behind him. She was suddenly in front of him, at the opposite side of the table. Instinct told him to step back, to run, to do anything but stand there like a deer in headlights. But all he could do was stare at her, tears welling up in his eyes, rolling down his cheeks as his lips quivered and he gripped the table for dear life. 'You know it's true. You've felt him.' Her voice was so sweet, so soothing. 'You have a unique gift... your vibing. You can see many things. But you can feel things, too.' She tilted her head a little. 'You didn't know that, did you?' She smiled warmly at him, reminding him so very much of Jesse that it was eerie. 'When someone with your abilities is connected to another in such a deep and permanent way, you can feel when they are hurt or dying... or if they are very much alive. I think that's why you haven't given up faith, when everyone else has begun to lose it.' Cisco swallowed, slowly letting go of the table and straightening up. 

"What... who are you? How do you know so much about me? About vibing? How could you have seen Harry?" Once he started, the questions began to come out like word vomit. He just couldn't stop. "He's on another Earth, have you been there?!" His voice was getting louder without him really realizing it. And before he could ask anything else, Not-Tess put up her hand. He wasn't sure why, but that simple motion shut him right up.

'For all intents and purposes, you can simply consider me an interested observer. A... watcher, if you will.' She let her hand fall, slowly walking around the table, her eyes lingering on the meticulously laid out pieces. 'I know so much about you, about what you can do, from reading Harrison Wells' mind. He’s the first of your kind I’ve ever seen.' She looked back at Cisco as she rounded the corner, 'Human kind, that is.' She stopped just before him, facing him with such a delicate and calm expression that it eased something inside of him. 'And from the people on this Earth, I’ve learned a great deal more.'

"Wait..." he found his voice again, but it was soft, tentative, and he cleared his throat. "You're some kind of... alien?" Yeah, that sounded a lot less dumb in his head. She just chuckled, a pleasant sound, before shaking her head.

'No. Far from it. More like... an intelligent essence.' She replied. Cisco just blinked.

"Right... I have no idea what that means." He stated lightly. "Are you sure I'm not dreaming or something?" He asked incredulously. He just couldn't help it. As real as this all felt and seemed, it was just too fantastic to be credible. Even for him.

'We could spend more time debating the validity of my existence and your sanity, or I could give you what you've been missing, Cisco.' She said, still smiling lightly, as though nothing upset her, not even a little.

"W-what have I been missing?" He found himself asking, and at the same time fearing the answer. And for the second time in just a matter of minutes, Cisco nearly jumped out of his skin. His hand was suddenly going up against his will, palm out, fingers splayed. "What the hell?!" He blurted, eyes going wide. But then she raised a finger at him. Just one, moving it slowly toward his head. He should have backed the heck up, should have ran, yelled for Barry. Anything but stand there. And yet...

'You haven't given up on Harrison. And he still holds on tightly to you and everyone else here. For the gift of knowledge that he has granted me, I’ve chosen to help him. And you.' The finger came closer to Cisco's head, and she smiled so brilliantly, so beautifully that Cisco's mind went completely blank. 'What you've been missing is something that found its way through the breach with Harrison when he was first thrown into my Earth...' And then she touched his head. '...a little piece of Hope.'

And everything went momentarily black.

When Cisco's vision returned, she was gone. As though Not-Tess had never even been there. And he felt... _shit_ , he felt good. Refreshed, even. Like he'd slept in, gone on vacation at the beach, and ate a feast in a matter of minutes. "Again... what the hell?" He mumbled, taking a slow step backward to make sure his legs still worked. That was when he noticed his hand was still outstretched, but it was closed tightly in a fist. Inch by inch, he uncurled his fingers. And what escaped his mouth when he saw what was resting in his palm was somewhere between a sob and a cry of joy.

Quickly, he turned toward the table where his puzzle-pieced goggles lay waiting to be put back together. And slowly, almost shakily, he set down what was in his hand.

A small, but very completely far too damn important piece of the wavelength trigger that no one would have known was missing due to the fact it should have been encased inside the frequency modulator. 

"A little piece of Hope." He let out a deep breath, grinning like an idiot before burying his face in his hands. He took some deep breaths, in and out, settling his nerves and everything else before dropping his hands and looking around the empty Cortex. Who or whatever Not-Tess was... she'd just changed everything. "We're coming for you, Harry." Cisco whispered, then sat down and got to work as fast as he could.

* * *

 _'Hell is something you carry around with you, not somewhere you go.'_ -Neil Gaiman

* * *

_Harry smelled wet earth._

_The ground beneath him was cold and damp, a near perfect re-enacting of the moment he'd woken up on this Earth. But that could be lumped up to the fact this whole place was wet and stuck between Autumn and Winter. What was strange was what he saw when he opened his eyes. Trees, but not just any. Though they looked exactly like every other tree he'd ever seen here, he knew they were different. He'd marked them, months ago. They were the trees in the exact spot he'd first come-to one-hundred days ago. He'd carved X's in all of them, and in trees leading to them, so he wouldn't forget them. He went back and checked them all the time, to see if the others had finally come. But he was damn sure he hadn't made his way back to them yet. At least, not on his own. Slowly, he pushed himself up to a sitting position, then scooted his back against a tree. It was then that he realized he felt different. Less tired, less hungry, just... better. Which didn't make any sense at all._

_Shit, nothing that was happening made any sense. Seeing Tess... no, not Tess. Hope, she called herself. Had she brought him here?_ 'They're coming for you, Harrison.' _She'd said. Did she mean..._

'Yes.' _He heard her voice and stiffened, looking to the side to see her standing there, perfect and smiling._ 'That’s exactly what I meant.' _She added, lowering herself to the ground to sit, legs crossed beneath the skirt of her still very white summer dress. He didn't say anything, just let himself relax as he kept staring at her. His pulse rifle was on the ground near him. But his bone knife was gone._ 'You won't need it. Nothing will harm you while I'm here.'

"Stop doing that." _He growled out._ "Stay out of my head." _He practically ordered, looking away and reaching for his pulse rifle. He dragged it through the ground debris to his lap. But he just set it there. No point in shooting her. She'd already proven things went completely through her._

'My apologies.' _She said with a soft smile, as though his gruffness was more an amusement than anything else._ 'I find your mind pleasant. Far more pleasant than the other one. You call him Zero Point?' _She shook her head a little, her eyes looking stern for a moment,_ 'His mind is full of dark, terrible things.' _Harry looked back at her, one brow raised._

"And mine isn't?" _He asked skeptically. She met his gaze with a soft shrug and that ever present smile._

'There’s darkness. But you actively fight against it. You choose to be good. I've come to learn this is an aspect of your kind. You have both light and dark within you. It's what you choose to nourish that defines you, though in Zero Point's case there is very little light to be had.' _Well, that was a hell of an answer. Harry just stared at her like she had seven heads. She might as well have._

"My kind." _He shook his head a little._ "You said... you'd never come across my species before, correct?" _She nodded, folding her hands in her skirt._ "Then how can you speak my language so easily?" _Ever the curious scientist, it seemed. Even in the middle of hell, he couldn't shut that part of himself off. And it seemed to make her happy, because she grinned at him._

'You taught me. Your memories, your mind.' _She answered. Apparently, whatever she was made her a very quick learner._

"What are you? And don't tell me Hope." _He gritted out, one hand lifting to run through his hair idly before momentarily dragging his palm down his face, and over the stubble on his chin and cheeks. He didn't have a beard only because he'd learned to use the bone knife he'd made to shave with. He wasn't even sure why he'd bothered. Maybe he'd just been trying to hold on to some sense of normalcy._

'You don't have a word for my kind. I told Cisco that I’m an intelligent essence, and that seems to be an accurate definition.' _She stated, and his eyes moved to her quickly, hand falling._

"Cisco... you... you spoke to Cisco?!" _He demanded, quickly getting to his feet, pulse rifle held heavily in one hand._ "How?! When?!" _He demanded, marching over to her. His heart was suddenly racing in his chest. But he stopped himself a few feet from her. She just looked up at him like he wasn't some tall, easily angered and strong man holding a dangerous weapon and looming over her._

'While you were resting.' _She said, gracefully standing, meeting his gaze with a spark of humor in her eyes._ 'I transversed to your Earth, to give him something he needed, so that you can go home. I told you, Harrison. I want to help you.'

"Transversed. I don't understand..." _His mind was reeling, and he felt like he was having too hard a time catching up beyond the fact that she'd spoken to Cisco. His Cisco._

'This Earth is connected to all other Earths in what you call the multiverse. You came here through a breach. But there are many roads to the same destination. Many ways to go from Earth to Earth. I can transverse from one to the next at will, take a different road than breaching.' _She attempted to explain. But shrugged when he furrowed his brows at her._ 'A frog can hop from one pad to the next in a pond, then back again as easily as,' _she snapped her fingers,_ 'The twitching of its muscles. It uses its own strength, its own energy to do so. I simply do the same.'

"Simply." _He reiterated, then made an exasperated sound._ "Nothing about that sounds simple." _He grated, but then motioned to her._ "You said you spoke to Cisco. Is he... is he alright?" _He asked, his voice growing a touch softer. And she smiled. Smiled like the moon and sun were in view at the same time. She was always goddamn smiling._

'He is now. He never lost sight of you. He’s felt you throughout your time here.' _Her words should have been comforting, but they weren't. Yes, he was glad Cisco was okay. But at the same time... where the hell was he, then? Why hadn't he come for him? Months... literal months... and no Cisco, no Barry, no one. Just him barely surviving and wondering if they'd abandoned him or forgotten him. Which never made sense, but the more time went by, the more it ate at him. Her face sobered before him, and she stepped forward, till she was directly in front of him._ 'Please don’t be mad. I understand the anger, the pain you feel. But Cisco and the others have been trying very hard to get to you. You see, his goggles? They were destroyed when Zero Point dragged you through the breach. And a very important piece of them came through as well. It wasn’t till recently that I realized this. Cisco has exhausted himself trying to repair the goggles. I brought the piece to him so that he can fix them and bring you home.'

"If you can... hop from Earth to Earth, why not just take me with you, back to mine?" _He asked, searching her face. For all that she looked and sounded like the Tess he remembered, it was very clear to him that she wasn't. Still, it was hard not to stare at her._

'I can hop. Not you. As I said, I’m an essence. I don’t have a physical form. You do. And you wouldn’t survive the transversing.' _She explained, and he sighed, closing his eyes and shaking his head before turning away from her. Nothing she was saying made much sense to him. But he unfortunately had no choice but to take her word for it. He opened his eyes, his back to her, looking up at one of the trees he'd marked._ 'You're going home, Harrison. Truly, you are. I wish you to know that I feel great sorrow for the pain you’ve suffered here.' _He turned at the sound of the sadness in her voice, feeling his throat tighten at the sudden play of emotion on her features._ 'There are many things my kind don’t know. But we can feel, as great or even greater than most species. And I’ve felt your pain as though it is my own. It’s why I want so badly for you to go home. To your Earth.' _Suddenly, her eyes darted to the side and her whole image paused, as though someone had pressed a button and froze her in time for a breath of a moment. Then she looked back at him, her eyes and smile somewhat sad._

"What's wrong?" _he found himself asking, tightening his grip on his pulse rifle slightly._

'They’ll be here shortly, and I'll make sure their powers are stable to get you all back.' _She responded,_ 'But before they arrive, Harrison... I wish you to know, all the awful things you think of yourself... as deserving as you think you are of them, you aren't. You see,' _she moved toward him, reaching out and touching his face. And like before, he couldn't feel her. But he didn't move away, either._ 'You've made mistakes, you've struggled, you regret so much. But you are not your mistakes, Harrison Wells. Sometimes, good people make bad choices. This doesn't make you bad. It makes you... human.' _She let her hand fall, still smiling so warm and real that it made his heart ache. He felt a tear escape his eye before he even knew it had formed._ 'You taught me this. Now it's time to learn your own lesson, don't you think?' _She asked, stepping back and motioning behind him. He blinked at her, then turned to look at what she was eluding to._

_Behind him, a swirling bright white and blue mass of light suddenly erupted._

_A breach._

_And he felt himself let out a sound that was halfway between joy and relief. She was right. They were coming. Cisco was coming. He was going home. And it all hit him so quickly and suddenly that he nearly dropped his pulse rifle. But instead he turned to look at her. To say something like thank you. Hell, just to say anything. But she wasn't there. She was gone. He let out a shuddered breath, falling to his knees as the emotions overwhelmed him. He let his gaze focus on the breach once more._

"One hundred and one days." _He sobbed out, but smiled wide when he saw Cisco step through with Barry right behind him._

_Tess, the essence or whatever she was had been right._

_It was time to go home._

* * *

 _Zero Point dove for the breach. But what he got was cold, wet ground and a mouthful of dead leaves. The breach had closed just before he got to it. Mere seconds._ "No..." _he whispered, pushing up on all fours, looking around wildly as he panted cold breaths out in puffs of steam._ "NOOOO!" _He yelled, clawing at the leaves and dirt before getting up on his knees and grimacing, rage and hatred seething through his form. In the distance, the sun began to go down, the graying sky growing darker, the night's creatures beginning their cacophony. He'd been that close, so fucking close to getting home, to getting out of this hell hole, to getting his revenge. And Wells, The Flash... they took that from him. Again._

_Slowly, he got to his feet, his makeshift spear in one hand as he lumbered away into the growing dark to find shelter. He could just lay down and die, let the creatures in this place take him out. But that would be losing. That would be giving up. And if he did that, then he'd never find a way off this Earth. He'd never get home. More importantly, he'd never get the chance to do to Wells what he'd been dreaming of doing for months._

_And that was just not an option._


	21. One Hundred Yesterdays (Part 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is home, but things don't feel as they should until Cisco helps him realize that sometimes the only way to heal is to break first.

'That's the thing about pain; it demands to be felt...' -Anonymous

* * *

It was too quiet. 

Every heartbeat, every breath, every slight rustle of clothing was more like harsh snare drums in Harry's ears. And even though he knew he was safe, that he was home and he didn't have to struggle anymore, there was a terrible hyper-vigilance settled into everything he did. 

He was currently in the med lab, sitting on the gurney in the dark. Caitlin had gone to rest in one of the makeshift guest rooms. Barry, Iris, Joe and Wally had left. Jesse had passed out in the chair beside the gurney, curled in on herself, looking far too exhausted. And Cisco had somehow ended up on the floor, stretched out on his stomach with his face buried half in a crumpled up sweatshirt. Harry could hear their combined steady breathing, and even in the shadows that played on their features, Harry could see the concern on Jesse and Cisco's faces.

Seeing them again had been... _amazing_. 

Joy was just not a strong enough word for what he'd felt. Neither was relief. He'd laughed and clung to each of them, afraid it was all some sort of dream. Knowing they were real, able to be touched and held, had nearly taken all the resolve out of him. All this time he'd managed to keep it together, stay strong and resilient, and seeing them turned him into a mess in an instant. Jesse refused to leave his side, hugging him and holding his hand and smiling through happy tears. Cisco couldn't stop talking, bringing Harry up to speed on everything, explaining his run in with 'Not-Tess.’ Honestly, Ramon could have talked about snails on a race track and Harry would have been overjoyed to hear it.

But that was hours ago.

Now he just felt numb.

Caitlin had given him a thorough examination. And though he had new scars she didn't like, she'd declared him as healthy as before he disappeared. He couldn't really explain why. All he knew for sure was that the Watcher, which was what he and Cisco were calling Not-Tess now, had a hand in it. She'd taken his weakness away, given him back the fortitude he'd begun to lack. Honestly, he felt better physically than he had in a very long time. But mentally? That he wasn't sure about.

He let his eyes wander from Cisco to Jesse. 

Here he was with the two most important people in his life. He was alive. He was home. So why did he feel so out of sorts? Was it just a matter of waiting for the other shoe to drop, or was there more to it? Had being alone for so long, constantly fighting just to make it from one day to the next, damaged him in a way that wasn't physical? He was smart enough to know that there was bound to be some backlash from it all, some sort of post-traumatic stress to deal with. No one could just bounce back instantly from what he'd been through. And though he would never let himself be weak, he knew that not even he was strong enough to stave off the emotional turmoil that was bound to come.

And yet...

He was fine. He really was. He wasn't even angry about what he'd been through. He didn't want to think on it anymore. He just wanted to let it all go, to move on and forget it ever happened. He was completely prepared to just get off that gurney and go back to work, or fight a meta, or sit in front of the television and watch one of Cisco's awful science fiction movies or talk Jesse through a particularly stubborn problem. Maybe that was the issue... maybe being okay wasn't okay. Maybe his eventual breakdown was simply a matter of time.

Harry heard Cisco move. 

As quiet and subtle as it was, it caught his attention. And he was looking at him again, watching as Cisco rolled onto his side, the long, dark strands of his hair covering some of his face. He could admit, he'd missed that. He'd missed so very much, both small things like this, and bigger things too numerous to name. His whole life had been stalled in an endless cascade of miserable, hard nights and exhausting days. One hundred and one of them. But that was yesterday. Tonight? Well, tonight he was staring at the one person in existence who loved him. Besides Jesse, of course.

Slowly, he slipped off the gurney, booted feet hitting the floor with barely a sound. The feel of clean, not torn and warn out clothes was almost odd to him now. But he moved over to Cisco, staring down at him for a long moment, just watching his husband breathe. Wisps of Ramon's hair floated up and down with each breath. It was ridiculous, and perfect. Harry crouched slowly, reaching over with rough fingers to brush Cisco's hair out of his face. Being able to touch him again whenever he wanted was enough to make his heart hurt, in the best way possible of course. 

Though they had discussed it many times in the past, part of Harry would never truly understand what it was Cisco saw in him. How anyone as intelligent, witty, good and loving as Cisco could love someone as hard and dark as him would probably always be beyond his understanding. But he could live with that.

Cisco stirred only slightly, letting out a sigh, his face turning instinctively into Harry's hand. And for a wonderful moment, Harry just caressed Cisco's cheek. 

"God, I've missed you..." he whispered, his voice barely registering in the silence around them. He closed his eyes for a moment, hesitating for a long time before pulling his hand back and letting Cisco sleep. Something he couldn't do right then, mostly because he just wasn't tired. He should have been, he knew that. But he couldn't get his head to shut up long enough for sleep to be even remotely attainable.

So he wandered.

The halls of S.T.A.R. Labs were both familiar and strange. After weeks of never ending gray skies and identical trees, the colors and the lights and the shining floors of this place were almost alien to him. He went everywhere he could, just taking it all in, needing to feel at home, wanting to remember what it was all like. The Cortex, the Pipeline, the empty offices, the labs, the garage, even the kitchen. Seeing fresh fruit sitting on a table in a wooden bowl had made a strange strangled sound escape his throat. When he continued wandering again, it was with a bright green apple in one hand. It was far juicier than he ever remembered apples tasting. He wasn't sure how long he walked around for, but eventually he ended up on the roof.

The sky was black, but he could see the stars. 

He hadn't even realized how much he'd missed them, those twinkling spots of unending light that littered the night sky in points of focus. He stared up at them for so long that he was pretty sure his neck was going to be sore later. But he just couldn't help it. And the air... it smelled so different than what he'd grown used to. No wet, damp chill. Just the combined city scents that made no sense together yet somehow still seemed pleasant.

"Since when do you eat apples?" He heard Cisco ask from behind him, and he nearly dropped the mostly eaten fruit on the gravel beneath his feet as he startled, turning and taking in a deep breath, letting it out slow. Cisco looked worried at his reaction, his hands pulling slowly out of his pockets.

"Sorry. You startled me." Harry said, his voice not really carrying far, as though he was afraid to damage the quiet of the world around him. He glanced at the apple in his hand a moment, then shrugged. "There weren't apples... over there." Was his answer to Cisco's question. He looked back at the shorter man and felt a pit in his stomach at the look on Cisco's face. 

Ramon seemed to be stuck in a state of perpetual worry, as though he were afraid that Harry wasn't as healthy as Caitlin said he was. Or maybe he was just as worried as Harry was that this might all be a dream. For a long time, they just sort of stared at each other. This was their first real moment alone since he'd come back, and it felt strangely new to him. He should have dropped the damn apple and closed the distance, pulled Cisco into his arms, drown the man in a kiss like he'd dreamed about so many hundreds of times. But he couldn't. All he could do was stand there, silent and still. And he had no idea why. Thankfully, it was Cisco who broke the quiet.

"I feel like I should be saying something..." he said, a slow blush creeping into his cheeks. It made Harry sigh instantly. "But what do I say?" His voice cracked a little. 

It was almost funny, to think Cisco was at a loss for words. After all, he hadn't really shut up till he passed out on the floor. But all of that was more like words to fill space, ramblings of things that had transpired in Harry's absence. Nothing too terribly important. Right now, this moment, needed more than that. And yet, Harry had no response as Cisco's sorrowful eyes examined his form all over again. How many times had he done that now? It was like Cisco wanted to make sure Harry was really there, and in one piece. 

"I know," Cisco seemed to force himself into thinking straight, meeting Harry's gaze, "That this is gonna take time. I mean... I can't even begin to understand what you went through... or how hard it was..."

"Ramon, stop." Harry heard himself say, probably a little harsher than he'd meant, then blinked as Cisco's mouth closed and his expression became confused. Harry glanced at the apple in his hand, turning slowly, Cisco now at his back once more. "I don't want it to take time." He said clearly, turning the half eaten fruit in his palm. And then he threw it. As hard as he could. 

It sailed into the darkness, disappearing somewhere in the parking lot below. He didn't even hear it hit the ground. He might have, maybe, if he'd waited long enough. But he was turning as soon as the apple left his palm, and he closed the distance between himself and Cisco as quickly as he could.

The result was a probably too tight hug, Harry burying his face in Cisco's neck and hair, and Cisco letting out a gasp before clinging back to him for dear life. The air just came out of Harry's lungs, then. His legs turned into pudding, and they were both down on their knees, not even bothering to stop the descent. Cisco was crying, Harry could feel it. Even though he was trying so hard not to, there were small shudders going through Ramon's body, shaken breaths escaping easily. Harry, however, just breathed. He took in the smell of Cisco's shampoo, the salt in his skin, the warmth in his form. He squeezed his eyes shut, fingers curled into Cisco's shirt enough to tighten it around Ramon's form.

"I missed you so much, Harry. So much." Cisco said through his tears, his arms tightening even more around Harry. "I knew you were alive. I never stopped trying to get to you. I'm so sorry it took so long. God, I'm _sorry_." He sobbed softly, and Harry had to force himself to let go, to separate himself from Ramon so he could hold Cisco's tear streaked face in his hands, to stare into the pair of chocolate brown eyes he'd dreamed about endlessly. "Please forgive me." Cisco tried to whisper, closing his eyes and curling his hands around Harry's wrists.

"Cisco, no... this..." Harry sighed out, his eyes burning, tears of his own threatening. "This wasn't your fault, you hear me?" He stroked his thumbs over Cisco's cheekbones, taking in a deep breath and letting out a sigh that nearly deflated him. It was then that he realized that he hadn't been the only one in hell. And it awed him. Because Harry being trapped on another Earth that was akin to a post-apocalyptic world had been hell for Cisco. And it had been hell for Cisco because he loved Harry. Far more than Harry had ever allowed himself to believe was possible. That knowledge undid Harrison Wells, turned him inside out and exposed his broken pieces for all the world to see, and for once Harry was glad for that. Because it felt a whole lot more real than just being okay. "God, I... I love you." He managed, the tears finally escaping. "You hear me, Ramon?" He demanded, Cisco's eyes opened and widened when he saw Harry's tears. "I love you." He whispered it that time, closing his eyes. And then he was crying. Really crying.

And Cisco held him through it. He pulled Harry into him and just let him sob. He didn't say anything else, he didn't try to stop him. If anything, Cisco seemed a little relieved. All that loneliness, fatigue, sorrow, anger, need, and more just poured out of Harry. Months of bottling up anything close to real feelings overflowed, spilled out of him like water through a broken dam. And when it was over, when the air had once again grown quiet and calm, and all he could feel was Cisco all around him, Harry knew for certain that he really wasn't okay. And honestly, as far as moving on went, that was a pretty damn good start...

* * *

Cisco didn't know how long they'd sat up on the roof, but it was still dark by the time they got to their feet and Cisco took Harry's hand, leading him back inside. 

They'd both grown quiet, walking the empty halls. Harry didn't seem to care what the destination would be. After crying it out like he had, Harry just seemed strangely content and slightly tired. It was odd how much that comforted Cisco. He'd been so worried about Harry's lack of real emotion. At first Harry'd been so happy. Shit, they _all_ had. But then Harry had just grown quiet, still, far too calm. If Cisco had been in his place, he'd have broken down right at the start. But not Harry. Cisco was glad it had been with him that he finally let it all loose, that Harry needed him that much. And he was even more glad that Harry was so easily holding onto him, as apparently unwilling to let go as Cisco was.

Their fingers were entwined, palms together as they headed back to the Cortex. When they eventually reached the med-lab, they found Jesse curled up on the gurney, the blanket pulled up right to her nose. She'd probably woken up, found them both gone and figured Cisco had things handled. The poor girl was exhausted. She deserved a good night's rest. Hell, everyone did. 

Cisco glanced at Harry as the tall man let go of his hand, stepping quietly further into the room, leaving Cisco in the doorway. Harry stopped at Jesse's bedside, very softly stroking her hair. She didn't even budge. And Harry bent over, placing a chaste kiss on her brow. Cisco couldn't imagine what it was like for him, to be back home with his daughter after months of not knowing if he'd ever see her again. He didn't have kids of his own, but Cisco was pretty sure if he did and he'd been through that hell, he'd have been a total mess right now.

Harry just smiled at her sleeping form with adoration before moving back toward Cisco. For a moment, they just stared at each other. It was so surreal, honestly. All this time pining for Harry, wishing he could see those stormy blue eyes, dreaming about arguing with him, wondering if they'd ever be together again, and now he was here. He was real and alive and standing right in front of him. And the thought made Cisco sigh almost tenderly. 

Harry just watched him, only moving when Cisco took his hand again and gently pulled him back into walking. There was so much they should talk about. And they would, at some point. But the quiet seemed right, the silence seemed needed. The night that carried on outside and the stillness in the building seemed to be the permission they needed not to make a sound. It wasn't till Cisco finally lead Harry to a guest room, which was really a converted office with a cheap bed, that Harry stopped. His feet planted right in the doorway as Cisco flipped on the light and turned back to look at him. 

"You need to sleep." Cisco urged, still holding onto Harry's hand, their arms outstretched. "In a bed." He added, watching an almost uncertain expression pass over Harry's face. It dawned on Cisco then how unreal this must seem to him after months of sleeping on cold, hard ground. But before Cisco could say anything about it, Harry took one steady step in, shortening the distance between them.

"Only if you stay." He said, his gruff voice pulling Cisco's attention to Harry's eyes. Honestly, Cisco was going to leave Harry alone, to let him rest in peace. Harry must have sensed it because his seemingly strange demand was right on the money. And the way Harry was looking at him, with such hope and yearning, how the hell could Cisco possibly say no?

A moment later, they'd kicked off their boots and were curled up under the blankets in the dark. They were facing each other, and it was almost not enough. Being able to feel Harry's warmth, to tangle their legs together, to hold onto him again... it was so wonderful that it almost hurt. Harry's quiet stare held his own, the perfect feel of Harry's fingers moving through his dark strands made Cisco sigh out comfortably. If this wasn't what Heaven was like, then Cisco never wanted to go. It was so quiet again, so perfectly still except for the sound of the ventilation system pumping clean air and their own steady breathing. Ramon couldn't remember ever being so content with silence before. Now? He could live in it forever if Harry was with him.

Cisco would never be able to put into words how bruised his heart still felt. 

Knowing that Harry had spent every single day and night for months clawing his way through survival was enough to silently kill Ramon every time he thought about it. And now that Harry was finally home, Cisco had no idea how to help. How did anyone take those sorts of memories away? How did anyone take away that kind of pain? It was bound to linger, bound to hit Harry from time to time. Cisco was mentally preparing himself for an angry, subdued, maybe even spiteful Harry. But so far, what he'd gotten was a tall, silent, broken genius. He didn't know if he would ever be enough to help Harry through the days to come, but he wasn't ever going to give up on him. No matter how hard it might get, Cisco Ramon was going to stick by Harrison Wells to the bitter end. He'd give this man all the love and devotion and time he could possibly need. It was the very least he could do. After all, Harry wasn't even angry at him.

Not once did Harry blame him for not coming sooner. Not once had Harry given up his hold on what they shared. Harry had held on with both hands to his memories and feelings for the people he loved and cared about most, certain that one way or another they would find him and bring him home. It sobered Cisco to think that Harry had no idea how amazing that was, or how incredible his heart truly is.

As the promise of sleep settled in around them, Harry blinked at him, eyelids heavy with growing tiredness. And Cisco gave him a small smile, inching just a bit closer, wanting as little space between them as comfortably possible. What he hadn't expected, however, was for Harry to move in that much more. One moment they were just staring at one another, and the next Cisco was relaxing into a far too tender, heart-aching kiss. Both of them seemed cautious, for their own reasons. Cisco didn't want to push things, didn't want to rush this. Harry probably wasn't sure it was even welcome, because that's just how his head worked, and Cisco knew it. But the warm and soft tangle of lips turned into the most delicate touch of tongues and perfectly warm sighs into each other’s mouths.

As far as kisses went, it was not what anyone would call passionate. And yet there was just so much to it, so much said without a single word. It ended as gently as it had started, and Harry let out one very deep breath without ever opening his eyes, pressing their foreheads together and relaxing completely. Cisco smiled, he couldn't help it. He felt a tear escape, seeping into the pillow beneath his head, and he was perfectly okay with that. 

"I love you." He whispered to Harry. And in the shadows that painted Harry's features, he saw the most subtle curve of his lips into a barely recognizable smile of his own.

"I love you, too, Ramon. Always have. Always will." Harry whispered back. And Cisco closed his eyes, breath escaping his lungs as a few more quiet tears escaped. It was all so perfect. And not a dream. Definitely not a dream. Harry was alive and home and real. And if Cisco had his way, he was never letting Harry go ever again...


	22. One Hundred Yesterdays (Part 4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry might be trying to put his time on the hell that was Earth-714 behind him, but it soon becomes clear that it isn't done with him at all. A dangerous side effect has taken hold, and now Harry's life hangs in the balance. The key to his survival is back on 714, and Jesse and Barry return there in the hopes of retrieving it, not realizing that the cure they hope for may not be what it seems.
> 
> And, like all hells, this one has a devil all its own. His name is Zero Point. And he's been waiting patiently, for far too long...

Harry was doing his best to readjust to life back home. 

He had bouts of long quiet hours, as though whatever was raging through his head was too awful to let out. And then there were moments where Cisco swore he was the old Harry again. He knew it was going to take time. Lots of it. Caitlin had made it clear that the emotional damage was just as important to deal with as the physical damage. She encouraged Harry to talk, to say whatever was on his mind, not to keep the bad memories in. But for Harry, that was like pulling his own teeth out. He didn't confide in many people, and when he did it was short worded and vague. Which was why Cisco was overjoyed that Harry could talk to him more. The way the man opened up to Ramon was a blessing for them both. It gave Harry the outlet he needed, and it helped Cisco feel like he could actually make a difference in Harry's recovery.

Physically, however, things seemed to be far more complicated. 

Harry's body had way more scars now than before. On his back was something Cisco swore looked like slash marks, from giant claws, ranging from his right shoulder blade down to his left hip. He'd never seen anything like it, and the idea that Harry had survived something so obviously painful and terrifying was sobering. Harry had other scars, too. Some that looked like they'd been puncture wounds, others terrible scrapes. His body was a map of all the things those three months in that wild Earth had done to him. And whenever Cisco saw any of the scars, his throat felt tight and he was sure his heart broke a little more each time. 

Harry hardly showed his scars, anyway. The only reason Cisco knew about the bulk of them was because he'd been there when Caitlin examined him that first time. Now, Harry kept them covered, never even took his shirt off around Cisco. They hadn't been intimate yet, but Cisco was not at all worried about that because Harry let him hold him, touch him, kiss him. Nothing hot and heavy, just small reassurances, gentle physical reminders that they were both very real and this wasn't a dream. It was clear Harry wasn't ready for more. And Cisco could wait forever if need be. He was determined to make this transition as painless as possible for Harry.

But on the tenth day, the headaches began.

They started as just throbbing headaches that Harry chalked up to stress and didn't make much of. Caitlin insisted on running some tests, to be sure he wasn't having some delayed symptoms to something. But Harry told her she was worrying over nothing and refused. So Cisco took it upon himself to watch Harry like a hawk, much to the taller man's chagrin. Cisco was about the only person here that Harry spent the most time with besides Jesse, and not once did he complain about it. But when Cisco started following him literally everywhere, he'd get narrowed eyes through glasses at random intervals. A look, admittedly, Cisco had missed so damn much. It wasn't till Harry stood up and threw a white board eraser at Cisco's head that he second guessed his decision. And yet, he was so freakin delighted that Harry was throwing things again that he just grinned like an idiot when Harry stared at him. 

"Ramon, I swear..." Harry shook his head, moving away from the table he was sitting at. He had been fiddling with his pulse rifle. Falling back into science and tinkering had been easy for Harry. Like second nature. He pulled his glasses off, running a hand through his messy hair momentarily. "I'm not going to break." He finally said, resting one hand on his hip, the other hanging at his side, glasses dangling from his fingers. Cisco was still grinning, then popped a piece of his trail mix in his mouth, crunching down hard on it, "Stop it." Harry said, narrowing his gaze. Cisco munched. Loudly. "Ramon." Harry glared. And that was just amazing to Cisco. Who started chuckling like an idiot, nearly choking on what was in his mouth as he accidentally inhaled it. The result was Harry sighing, then a slow smile playing on his lips as he moved toward Cisco, grabbing the water bottle off his table on the way and screwing the top off before handing it to him.

"That's right, enjoy my agony." Cisco mumbled after nearly chugging half the bottle, eyes a little watery. But he smiled at Harry whose expression was pleased. Harry leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on Cisco's forehead. It totally stilled him despite how delicate it was. When Harry moved away, he almost whined. Sometimes, Ramon felt a bit like an addict that was only getting small doses of his own personal drug. It was a good thing Harry wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

"You really don't need to worry so much." Harry finally said, sitting back down, slipping his glasses back on. Cisco rounded the table, setting the bottle down. "They're just headaches." He added, picking up the rag he'd been using to clean the trigger mechanism.

"Yeah, no they're not. Every day, several hours a day? Not just headaches, man. So until you let Caitlin check you out, I'm your new personal shadow." He crossed his arms over his chest, giving Harry the most firm, serious look he could muster. But Harry just raised a brow at him.

"If I wanted to, I could disappear. You know that, right?" Harry said easily. Cisco felt himself sober slightly. Part of him worried a little that Harry might just do that. But the rest of him knew that Harry was choosing to deal with the frustration of Cisco's far too clingy presence. And that made him love the man just that much more. "I won't." He added, looking back down at what he was doing.

"Damn right, you won't." Jesse said as she entered the Cortex, Harry didn't even look at her. He just cracked a very light smile as he turned the pulse rifle over. "If you weren't so stubborn," she said, setting down a plate with a sandwich on it, "We wouldn't have to baby you so much." Harry glanced at the plate. He'd been weird about food since he'd been back. Sometimes it was like he was starving and couldn't eat enough. Other times, he didn't eat at all, as though he'd forgotten food even existed. Like today. Cisco knew he hadn't eaten anything. Which was why Jesse was practically waving food in front of him. Of course, all this yoyoing with his diet probably wasn't helping his headaches any.

"You don't have to baby me at all. I can take care of myself, Jesse." He remarked, not even an ounce of anger in his voice. But when she crossed her arms, staring him down, he sighed and then grimaced a little, grabbing the sandwich and taking a bite. He chewed, then looked at her, then at Cisco and back again. "I'm eating. Happy?" He stated, then shook his head. "Damn slave drivers." Jesse and Cisco both exchanged looks, smiling.

"Love you, too, Dad." Jesse responded softly, leaning down and kissing Harry's cheek. Harry's response was to smirk and get back to work. 

The rest of the afternoon went a lot like that. Harry with his tinkering, Cisco with his hovering, Jesse with her running back and forth between helping Barry and babying her stubborn father. More than once, Harry had tried to convince her that he really was going to be just fine. That she could go home, even though Cisco knew for a fact that Harry was loving having her around so much. But that was Harry to a T: Happy to worry about everyone else, happiest if they weren't worrying about him. It was good to know some things hadn't changed.

It was nearly eight at night by the time Cisco convinced Harry that it was time to go home. Not late by any standards. But Harry was having yet another headache, and the result was things getting tossed and more than a few frustrated growls to go with that.

“I really wish you would let me run some tests.” Caitlin urged, practically pouting as Harry slipped his jacket on. His face was flushed red, and he'd taken his glasses off.

“No.” Harry said, flat and stern. Cisco patted Caitlin's shoulder.

“I've tried. It's a losing battle, my friend.” He consoled her, though couldn't help but feel a little amused at how unhappy she was about it. Everyone cared for Harry in their own way. He was family. He reached for Harry then, resting a hand warmly on the taller man's lower back. “Come on. Let's get your grumpy beanstalk-self home.” He grinned when Harry gave him a sharp look and waited till Harry took that first step.

Harry never even got near the doorway before his hands went up, clinging to his temples, his whole body swaying and terribly rigid. In a heartbeat, Cisco and Caitlin were at his sides. But they only got there in time to hear a strangled sound escape Harry's mouth as he fell to the floor, knees hitting the hard concrete as his hands dropped and his whole body began to twitch. 

“He's having a seizure!” Caitlin exclaimed, darting from Harry toward the medlab.

“Harry! Man, look at me!” Cisco urged, watching as Harry's eyes rolled up and his whole body jerked. “Caitlin, hurry!” He yelled, then darted toward the console, “Barry, Jesse to the Cortex, now!” He blurted into the mic, his voice echoing over the intercom. He got back to Harry's side the same time Caitlin did. She jabbed a needle into Harry's neck and injected him with something. A mere few breaths later, his whole body stilled, his chest rising and falling heavily. “Shit...” Cisco said softly, glancing at Caitlin who looked a little wide eyed.

Twenty minutes later, Harry was out cold in the med lab on a gurney and Caitlin had the rest of them out in the Cortex. Cisco was leaning against the door frame, staring at Harry's still form, eyes stinging from worried tears he refused to let escape. He remembered far too vividly the last time he'd seen Harry have a seizure somewhat like that, when Red Widow had poisoned him. 

“After reviewing everything,” Caitlin sighed lightly, crossing her arms over her chest, “As strange as it sounds, I think he's going through some sort of withdrawal on a cellular level.” Cisco furrowed his brows, turning to look at her.

“Withdrawal from what?” Jesse asked, pushing off from the table she'd been leaning on. “Earth-714?” Caitlin nodded in answer.

“Not so much the planet as a whole. But I think... from the water.” She moved toward a console. “When he first came home, he told me about how the water there had healing properties. That it was clean and fresh but seemed to regenerate injuries far quicker than normal and would make everything from a cold to a fever to an infection disappear. Over time,” She put a few images up on the console of what a normal human cell looked like with water in its system, and what Harry's cells looked like when he'd first come back, “His body became dependent on it. Without the properties of that water, his body is trying to overcompensate for what it had come to believe was normal. Every cell is trying to re-establish what it's supposed to do without the water to reinforce natural regenerative properties.”

“Wait... can't that kill him, withdrawal I mean?” Cisco said, feeling a sudden surge of fear. Caitlin gave him a sympathetic look.

“It's not the withdrawal itself, but the shock on the body. Most addicts can have symptoms managed with medication while they purge drugs or alcohol from their system. In Harry's case, all I can do is sedate him. Without a fresh sample of the water to figure out what exactly its properties are and how it affects the body in real time, I can't make a viable treatment. It's just not as simple as riding it out. With the cells so dependent on what they're not getting, his body will start shutting down.” Caitlin explained. They all exchanged glances, one after the other. It was a silence that Cisco knew far too well. The kind that was followed by what was probably a really bad idea that they were going to attempt anyway.

“You guys thinking what I'm thinking?” Barry asked, slipping his hands out of his pockets as he took a step forward. Cisco turned slightly, looking back at Harry's quiet form.

“We're going back.” He felt a strange and sudden fire in his belly, turning to look at the others. “To Earth-714.”

That hell was still affecting Harry, still hurting him. Emotionally, and now physically. Cisco wanted to blow that planet up, watch it burn in effigy for all the multiverse to see. But all he could do was get everyone back there and pray that they'd find what they needed to get Harry better for good.

* * *

The plan was simple. Stupid, moronically stupid, but simple.

Cisco would open the breach to get Barry and Jesse through. They'd bring weapons, because their powers would be inert once they got there, and they'd find the nearest source of water and bring as much of it back as they could. Cisco would stay behind and close the breach once they were on the other side, only opening it every hour for ten minutes, Wally standing guard to help keep in check anything that might accidentally get through. Or anyone.

Zero Point was still out there, they were pretty sure. Harry had said he was probably still alive, though it had been weeks before his rescue since he'd seen him. Even without his powers, he was a royal asshole. They weren't going to take any chances.

Meanwhile, Caitlin would keep constant vigil over Harry. 

As far as withdrawal symptoms went, Harry's were a fair bit more serious than a drug user or an alcoholic. His entire body was working on rewriting cell structures that had learned to work with this strange water. His body was literally trying to reject itself, right along with the need for the water it had grown accustomed to. The strain on his internal organs and other systems was immense. Keeping him sedated was the only way Caitlin could keep the stress on his body from causing more harm. Harry was going downhill far faster than any of them had initially realized. Which was terribly frightening and worrisome. And more than enough to push them forward with their monumentally bad idea.

“Ready?” Cisco asked, watching as Jesse turned her father's pulse rifle in her hands. She looked so worried, so wary and stressed out. Neither Jesse nor Barry were wearing their speedster suits. There wasn't a point. So they were dressed in the sort of clothes that were functional and comfortable enough to allow them to traverse an unforgiving landscape. Cisco reached over, resting his hand on Jesse's shoulder. “You got this. Okay? You're gonna get that water and get home before anything bad happens. I know it.” Cisco tried to sound convincing, offering her a warm smile which seemed to make a tightness leave her expression.

“Right. You're right.” She nodded firmly, holding the rifle a little more confidently.

“It's probably morning there about now, if we calculated right from what Harry told us. So that gives us plenty of time to do this without animals hunting us.” Barry said, checking the automatic rifle he had one more time. He'd initially protested needing it, but Joe had pretty much forced him to take it.

“Yup, so, let's not waste daylight!” Cisco said, clasping his hands together for a moment before moving to a nearby table and putting his goggles on. “Strap in, you two.” He said, then stood before the breach platform and took a deep breath. Letting it out slow, he tapped into his powers. It was a bit like opening a door into an ocean of energy. Except instead of being swallowed by the waves, he could make them do what he wanted. And just by thinking of it, half instinctively, he opened a swirling tunnel of white and gray and shadow laden light, a breach.

Without hesitation, Barry and Jesse sped through. And after a ten count, he shut it down. Till the room was once again a dimly lit bastion. He took his goggles off, moving to the nearest computer and starting the clock. One hour from now, he'd open that breach right back up. He felt his lungs fill with air as a sigh built within him, spiraling out of his mouth far too slowly. He stared at the empty space where the breach had been and felt an instant sourness in his stomach.

“Hurry.” He whispered, then hooked his goggles to his shirt and headed back to the med lab.

* * *

_Everything in Harry's head had felt like razors were crisscrossing through his brain in far too quick bursts that he couldn't stifle._

_One moment, his skull was throbbing. And the next? Well, he was pretty sure he'd hit the floor. Everything after that made no sense to him. He was very aware that the pain was suddenly gone. Even the dull ache he'd become accustomed to no longer registered. And he felt weightless, as though his whole body had no real physical form for gravity to drag down. He was sure his eyes were open, but he couldn't see anything. Just endless darkness so black that there was no hope of his eyes adjusting to it. Add to that the strange echoing sound of his heartbeat reverberating off something solid and surrounding him, and it made for one very confused Harrison Wells._

_He had been so sure that they were just stress headaches, nothing to worry about, no big deal. He owed everyone the biggest damn apology ever, especially Caitlin. He should have just let her examine him like she'd wanted. Because something was seriously wrong, which she no doubt had figured out by now. It begged the question... if he was out cold in the medlab, then how was he still able to think so clearly? And he_ was _thinking. There was nothing unconscious about what was happening in his head now, despite the disembodied feeling that had overcome him._

_Was that what this was? Some sort of out of body experience?_

_That'd be a hell of a thing, considering he didn't really believe in that sort of supernatural bullshit. Even after everything he'd seen and experienced, there were just some things he refused to put stock in. No, there had to be another explanation. It was probably something so stupidly simple and staring him right in the face, but as active as his head was at the moment, he still couldn't bring it in to focus._

_What_ did _come into view, however, was a blue spot._

_A light? An opening, maybe?_

_He wished he had some physical form to push himself forward, which was idiotic considering he knew damn well that this was all taking place in his own head... right?_

'Wrong.'

_That voice... he knew that voice. Part of him had hoped he'd never have to hear that voice again._

"Tess..." _He heard himself speak, despite the fact he didn't have a mouth to speak with._ "I mean, The Watcher." _Yeah, he was going to stick with the name he and Cisco had come up with. It was much easier to deal with._

'I like that term, so... yes.' _Her voice echoed from far off, somewhere in the distance, tumbling toward his hearing. Even without seeing her, he could hear the humor in her tone, delicate and gentle._

"What's happening?" _He demanded, his voice rumbling everywhere. For far too long, it was quiet. But the more silence spread around him, the more his heartbeat drummed in waves, the more that spot seemed to widen, grow._

'Change.' _She said, and this time her voice was right next to him, inside him even. And if he'd had a body to do so, he might have tried to get away from it._ 'Your friends have the right idea, retrieving the Source to help you.'

"The Source..." _Even though he'd never heard the term, something about it seemed familiar. He knew exactly what she was referring to, which was a little disconcerting._ "The water." _Shit. He knew that water had been too good to be true. Had it poisoned him somehow? Was he having some sort of delayed reaction?_

'Their plans for it, however, are wrong. The Source can't cure you. It can only change you.'

_Harry felt an instant bubble of frustration, and for a moment that was enough to make him feel something physical. A tight ache in his temples, a throbbing in his ears._

"What are you talking about, dammit? Make some damn sense." _He growled out. Her response was patient, ever soothing._

'You need to consume more of the Source to complete the change. I didn't realize it was possible with your kind. But it appears you're quite compatible with the Source's energies. The change was stalled when you left. It can’t be reversed. But if you can get enough of the Source to complete it, you'll survive. I'll make sure your people understand this.'

"What..." _he felt his mouth go dry. Did he even have a mouth?_ "What is the change?" _There was a seed of panic inside of him, a fear subtle enough to stamp down, but big enough to be noticed. Like sand in a shoe._

'It’s different for everyone. But it’s already manifested in you, many times. You haven't noticed?' _She asked curiously, but then the spot began to shrink again, and her voice echoed once more, far away._ 'You'll understand soon enough. For now, sleep, Harrison. And let what happens... happen.'

_The spot disappeared, the darkness ever stretching and unreal. Whatever physical sensations he'd had disappeared with it. And he could feel the strangest understanding surround him, that he was about to slip away to somewhere that thinking wasn't allowed. She'd pulled him here, into this dark and gravity-less place. And now that she was gone, he had to go back. Back into his own head, back into the body that was currently trying to kill him._

"Well, shit." _He muttered, just before consciousness broke and his mind went quiet._

* * *

_He'd seen the breach open, he was sure of it. There was no mistaking that glimmering, reflective light in a place so dank and gray. And the feeling of joy was both overwhelming and terrible. He ran so hard that he was sure his lungs would explode from the effort. But the breach closed so quickly, that he nearly roared. Until he heard voices. One of which sounded strangely familiar. He took to the heights of a tree, concealing himself high in the bare branches, flattened against a thick branch as he waited, and those voices came closer._

_There were two of them. A man and a woman. Both relatively young. But that wasn't what really caught his attention. The woman was carrying something he knew far too well. Wells' rifle._

"Bloody hell..." _Zero Point whispered, watching them head further into the forest. They'd already rescued Wells, so why were they back? He chuckled lightly at himself, pushing up into a sitting position as they disappeared out of sight. Why did it even matter? They were here. And they wouldn't be here if they didn't have a way back._

_His ride home had finally come. And there was no way in this hell hole he was going to miss it..._


	23. One Hundred Yesterdays (Part 5)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry and Jesse find what they need to cure Harry, but at an unknown cost. Zero Point takes his chances and returns to Earth-1, rediscovering his powers and thirst for revenge. And out of the quiet, the intriguing and mysterious Watcher returns. All hell might just break loose...

'My father didn't tell me how to live. He lived and let me watch him do it.' -Clarence Kelland

* * *

_Every little girl looks at her father like he’s Superman. He can do no wrong and there is no force stronger than his will. Every teenage girl looks at her father as an overprotective nuisance, and yet still the easiest shoulder to cry on. The older Jesse got, the more she knew that Harrison Wells was not what most people would picture a father to be. And yet, he was the example she unconsciously judged all other men by. He was the example she lived her own life by. Where other little girls were playing with dolls and makeup, Jesse played with Bunsen burners and test tubes. Where other fathers had their wives to help raise their children into functioning adults, she'd just had her stoic and rigid Dad. And as far as Dads went, she never knew how different he truly was until she'd gotten to high school._

_Being a child genius was hard on Jesse at first. She had very few friends her own age, and, more often than not, would come home crying because so few people understood her. Then one day, Harrison Wells took her aside and told her the one thing that would stick with her for the rest of her life._ 'You shouldn't worry so much about what they think, Jesse. People are stupid. And some day, they'll be answering to you.' _It was totally something that he would say, even now. But unlike most people, she could read between the lines of her father's words. He was really saying,_ 'I believe in you.' _That was the moment she knew she had the greatest father alive._

 _He could be rough and angry, he could be frustrating and bossy, he could be overprotective and overbearing. But he never gave up on her. He always encouraged her. Always believed in her. He always, always loved her. It reminded her of a quote she read in a 'Father's Day' card._ 'My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person: He believed in me.'

_When she'd been held captive by Zoom, there was a horrible stretch of time she'd thought he'd abandoned her, that he had stopped trying to find her. And in thinking that, she'd given up on him. When he and the others finally rescued her, the guilt of having thought such awful things about him had eaten at her. Finding out Zoom tortured him relentlessly during her captivity was even worse. He'd suffered in silence, doing everything he could to get to her. To stop Zoom. To bring her home. And what had she done? Cursed his name, lost hope, even convinced herself to hate him a little. She'd been so wrong. And when she cried out her shame, admitted her guilt to him, he wasn't even angry. All he did was smile and hold her._

_It was just further proof that her father wasn't like other fathers, and definitely not like most men. He was so hard on the world, but he was also so damn strong. The things he survived were astounding. And he never lost hope. He never gave up. He pushed through the worst to hold on to the best and lived as an example of what real fortitude was. Sometimes it was easy for Jesse to take for granted how badass Harrison Wells actually was. But then things would remind her, humble her, awe her. Like this place._

_Earth-714 was as gray and wet and unforgiving as he'd described. Even in daytime, it was miserable. And knowing what he had said about the nights, that was saying something. All manner of predators roamed the nighttime. Quite a few of which he'd had painfully unfortunate run-ins with. Jesse knew about the scars, knew about all the times her Dad had been hurt here. She'd read Caitlin's notes. With every piece she put together of her father's time in this place, Jesse's heart hurt more and more._

_She and Barry had made pretty good time, trying not to waste the daylight, and had stopped only when they'd come across gray and damp bones of some sort of animal. Probably a deer by the looks of it. It had been stripped clean of all meat and flesh. There were sharp and deep teeth marks on almost every bone. Some had even been snapped into splinters, as though something really wanted to get to the marrow within. The bones looked fairly old. But really, with the way the rain seemed to be coming down all the time so steadily, these could be far more recent than they appeared. She felt Barry staring at her, and she glanced at him._

"He's gonna be okay, Jesse." _Barry said in that reassuring way of his that normally she appreciated. But right now, it just made her feel worse. She looked back down at the bones, shaking her head a little._

"All he went through, everything that happened to him here..." _She took in a deep breath, letting it out as she shrugged the strap of the pulse rifle a little higher up on to her shoulder._ "He didn't deserve it. And he doesn't deserve what's happening now, either." _She said almost angrily, stepping over the bones and moving on. Barry followed easily enough. They could hear moving water in the distance, and they were trying to narrow in on the sound._

"Of course he doesn't." _Barry responded, sounding slightly confused, reaching forward and gently grabbing Jesse's arm to stop her._ "Where's this coming from?" _For a moment, she grit her teeth, then she shook her head, closing her eyes briefly before looking back at him, the threat of tears burning her stare._

"He's been through so much, ya know? And he never complains. He never blames anyone. He just takes it and takes it and it isn't fair." _She explained the best she could._ "We're different, right? You and me and the others, we see Dad for who he is. But the rest of the world... worlds, even," _she waved a hand idly,_ "They see him as some sort of monster because of what Thawne did or because of the mistakes he made on my Earth. And he takes that, too. It doesn't make sense! Why doesn't he get angry?! Why doesn't he just... blame someone other than himself for a damn change?! And what is with the multiverse constantly coming down on him and punishing him like this?!" _She raised her voice, wiping angrily at a tear that escaped. Barry gave her a quiet, knowing look. Then he placed a hand on her shoulder. She covered her mouth a moment, stifling a sob as her chest ached. More tears escaped. When she dropped her hand, she stepped into Barry who hugged her easily._ "I can't lose my Dad." _She whispered, not fighting the tears._

"Your Dad," _Barry said gently, Jesse lifted her head and stood back a step to look at him,_ "Is pretty much the strongest man I know. Hands down." _He smiled a little,_ "After Zoom broke my back, I felt like an absolute failure. I felt like I'd let everyone down. The city, my friends... everyone. But your Dad, he just chucked a screwdriver at me and told me that I was still strong. I yelled at him." _He looked a little embarrassed but continued,_ "He just stood there and took it, then walked right up to me and said that strength doesn't come from what you can do. Strength comes from overcoming the things you thought you couldn't." _Barry smiled then, warm with the remembrance of the moment._ "I didn't really understand what he was trying to say till later. But I've never forgotten it. A lot of the time, he ends up in the middle of the storm. He gets the guilt and the pain, but just wades right through it because it's all he's ever known. Your Dad isn't strong because he can be, he's strong because he knows he needs to be. Which is why he's going to be alright this time, too. Just like every time he's gotten the shit end of the stick. Because how else would he be the sort of guy who can throw things and still make an absurd amount of sense at the same time?" _Jesse chuckled a little at that, wiping a tad more gently at her face._

"Right, you're... you're right."

"C'mon. Let's go get that water and get your Dad back to being our grumpy conscience." _Barry urged, and they picked up the pace again._

_Even in the chill, wet cold, she felt pretty warm. Moving at such a steady gait helped. So did the nervousness that was cementing itself in the back of her head. She couldn't shake the feeling that they were being watched. They both knew Zero Point was out there somewhere. Sure, he could be dead. But they weren't dumb enough to count on it. So both she and Barry were keeping a wary eye on their surroundings._

_They were following the X's carved in trees that her Dad had told them about. And she was glad he'd made them. Because literally every tree looked the same. Everywhere she gazed, it was just one panoramic image of endless gray and dead, wet trees. Getting lost would have been far too easy without a guide. The fact her Dad had enough wits to think about marking his surroundings from the start was a testament to his survival skills._

'I agree.' _A very distinct, female voice met their ears as they emerged at the edge of a very quickly moving river. The water was clear and tumbling over large rocks in an effort to flow to its destination. The sound it made was both soothing and strange in the eerie quiet of the woods. But neither she nor Barry were focused on the water right at that moment. They were focused on the woman in front of them._

_They both had their weapons raised, tense and feeling slightly strange due to the fact that the woman before them was pristine. She stood out, clothed in a white summer dress and nothing else. Her skin was almost as white as the dress. Her face had no eyes, no mouth, no features. She had no hair, no ears. And it should have made her creepy as all hell. But Jesse didn't feel creeped out at all. In fact, she was lowering her weapon before she was aware of it._

"You're the Watcher." _She stated simply, Barry glancing at Jesse before he too lowered his weapon. The woman -and yes, she had a very distinctly female body despite the lack of a face, bowed her head once. A simplistic gesture._

'I am. And I know why you're here, Jesse.' _She said gently, turning her head toward Barry,_ 'Flash.' _How she was talking without a mouth was fascinating. The voice carried as though she spoke with lips and a tongue and everything else required to form consonants and vowels. It should have been impossible. And the creep factor should have been driven through the roof. But when Jesse heard her talk, saw her like this, all she felt was calm._ 'I know a great deal about you both. Your father,' _she said, turning her head back toward Jesse,_ 'Thought about you constantly during his time here.'

"So you know what's happening then?" _Jesse nearly demanded, taking a step forward. She was choosing to ignore for now that the Watcher could obviously read minds. She felt Barry's hand on her elbow and stopped, glancing back at him._

"How do we know you're the Watcher Harry met? There could be more of you." _He stated suspiciously. And for a moment, a soft chuckle met their ears._

'Very observant of you, Flash. Yes, there are more of my kind. But I’m the only one on this Earth.'

"Then why don't you look like... what Harry and Cisco said you looked like?" _Barry asked, standing next to Jesse._

'Because I felt that form would be too painful for Jesse.'

"It's..." _Jesse paused, but then cleared her throat, speaking slightly clearer,_ "Show us, please... so we know it's you."

_For a brief moment, the Watcher seemed to go still. But then she nodded, and before their eyes, a lovely and delicate face rippled easily through flesh. Blond hair pooled out of the scalp and cascaded in waves down her shoulders. And suddenly before them was Tess. But not Tess. Jesse knew that. Still, seeing her with her own two eyes was sobering, and slightly jarring._

'I’ll never lie to you, Jesse.' _She spoke, and this time there were lips to make the words._ 'Which is why I need to tell you that you’re running out of time. You must take as much of the Source back with you as you possibly can. But what Caitlin Snow wants to do with it is impossible. The Source can’t cure Harrison Wells.'

"The Source..." _Barry mumbled, glancing toward the river,_ "You mean the water?"

"Wait, what do you mean it won't cure him?" _Jesse couldn't help the touch of panic in her voice. The Watcher gave a reassuring smile._

'What’s happening to him can't be reversed, but it can be finished. If you wish to save him, you must help the Source finish the change it started. It's the only way.'

"His cells." _Barry said softly, looking at Jesse for a moment then glancing back at the Watcher._ "You want his cells to complete the mutation the water triggered."

'Not want, no. I never wanted anything bad to happen to him. His exposure to the Source had an unanticipated affect. I didn't realize it until after he'd left. And now there is simply no undoing what’s begun. To put it simply, if you don’t allow him to complete the change, he will die. There is no getting around that.'

"What is the change? What did... is the water doing to him?" _Jesse demanded, moving slowly toward the river bank. She stared into the crystal clear, swirling currents. For all intents and purposes, it looked like water. Harmless, clear, fresh water._

'What it must.'

"That's not an answer." _Jesse grated out, glancing back at the Watcher._

'It’s all the answer I can give, I'm afraid.' _She said, smiling still. Did she never frown? Before Jesse could say anything else, the Watcher outstretched her hand toward the river, which suddenly ceased flowing. A strange sort of spout began to rise up, into the air, disconnecting from the river, rolling itself into a ball the size of a boulder. But then it began to shrink, strange little bright blue sparks flashing at its core as it got smaller and smaller and yet never seemed to lose a drop. Until finally it was about the size of a baseball, and no longer watery looking, but more like a perfectly round and hardened crystal, with an iridescent blue light at its center. It came toward Jesse as the Watcher lowered her hand. Jesse swallowed, slightly wide eyed, reaching out and plucking it from thin air, not sure what to expect. It was cool, smooth to the touch. And not even remotely wet._ 'His time grows shorter. I wish I could explain more, but you must hurry. Back to the breach. Your friend will be opening it soon, if I'm not mistaken. And Harrison Wells will need this immediately.'

_Jesse blinked a little, moving toward Barry and holding out the ball to him. He took it with raised brows, and Jesse turned to say something to the Watcher. But she was gone. As if she'd never even been there. And the river was once again moving naturally. Both she and Barry exchanged glances. Then she looked at the ball in his hand. She should have been afraid, should have feared whatever this change was. But selfishly, she also didn't care. If it meant her father lived, she'd take it. She'd take him, and any changes that went with him. Because nothing, no amount of pain or struggle or strife, no scars or torture or time in isolation, ever seemed to really change who Harrison Wells really was. And that was more than enough for her. She moved away from the river, stepping past Barry toward the X'd trees._

"Come on. Let's go." _She said easily, far more confident than she should have been._

_She couldn't change what had happened to her father. And she couldn't reverse what was happening to him now. But she could save him. She could give him this Source... water... whatever it was. And whatever happened after that, they'd figure out as they went along. She had to. Because that's what her Dad would have done. He never gave up._

_And neither would she._

* * *

Cisco had been pacing for the better part of ten minutes. Watching the clock tick down was torture. Knowing that Harry was getting worse as the minutes went by was hell. 

“You're going to wear your shoes out.” Wally said, standing with his hands in his pockets, watching Cisco with some sort of grimace. “Dude, seriously.” Wally remarked, reaching out and grabbing Cisco on his next pass.

“Sorry, right. I just...” He sighed deeply, turning his goggles in his hands.

“I get it. But burning a track into the floor isn't going to help. Besides, we've only got...” He looked up at the monitor, “Look at that, fourteen seconds.” He grinned then, letting his hand fall from Cisco's arm.

“YES!” Cisco nearly jumped up and down, “Yes.” He cleared his throat, then slipped the goggles on, “Get in position. Anything or anyone comes through that's not, ya know, Scooby Gang material, run them to the Pipeline, okay?”

Wally nodded, shifting on his feet, stepping back and to the side. The alarm went off, proof that the timer had gone all the way to zero. Cisco tapped the button on the console to silence it, then let out a deep breath. 

“Be there, be there, be there...” He muttered, then opened the breach...

* * *

Going through the breach felt as strange and dizzying as the very first time he'd been thrust through one. 

He understood a great deal about a great many things. But the idea of other worlds, and a passage between them, had always seemed like science fiction to him. Until, of course, he was sent to this hell. As soon as the breach opened, he was there waiting. Ever vigilant. He knew it would, just didn't know when. How else would those two get home? He'd kept a wary eye out, hoping that they wouldn't need to be here for the breach to come. And his hopes had been completely answered. With handmade weapon in hand, he let out a guttural roar and ran headfirst into the breach.

What he saw as he exited was just as familiar, unfortunately.

The very last room he'd seen before spending months in apocalypse land.

And that guy with the goggles and long hair, Vibe.

“Oh shit!” Vibe blurted out, aiming his hands at Zero Point. Instinctively, he raised his own hands. He'd been so long without his powers that it felt like an explosion out of every pore and cell as his whole body reacted and threw gravity pulses at Vibe. He went flying, slamming into a railing. Zero Point could not have explained the sheer joy at watching that man get flung, feeling his own powers surge through him again. But then Zero Point felt himself get slammed into by something hard and very fast. A speedster, Kid Flash. Another burst of air told him that Flash was back, along with the girl, as the breach closed and Vibe yelled, “Look out!”

Great. A party.

Zero Point stood up, tossing his makeshift weapon aside. He didn't need it anymore, not on this Earth. He flexed his hands, his arms, let the power he'd missed so terribly ripple through him. And he laughed, he couldn't help it. He laughed even harder when he saw the girl speed away, something flashing blue in her hands just before she disappeared.

Another speedster! Goody, goody.

Flash, Vibe and Kid Flash all began to form a sort of semi-circle around him. His laughter was now just a grin, terrible and angry. 

“Let's play.” He said simply. And then he lashed out...

* * *

But his power never manifested. None of theirs did.

In fact, everything in the room froze. Every person. Every molecule. Time stood still as she stepped gently between Barry and Cisco, the visage of her bare feet as silent as a ghost in snow. 

There was so much her kind could not do, were not allowed to do. The physical world was limited to them. But there were certain things she could manipulate. Space, minds... time. That was what Harrison Wells needed right now. Time. Just a little more of it. Because though the speedsters and Cisco were all strong, the one person who could stop Zero Point, who was meant to, was Wells. She was certain of it. The Source had chosen to change him for a reason. It had not affected Zero Point. The Source never did anything without reason, wouldn't have initiated the change in him unless there was a purpose.

So this Watcher helped, by watching and waiting.

Time ticked by without the others in the breach room having any knowledge of the passing. But that would only last so long. Soon nature would take over and time would come back to itself. And Fate would take its turn to decide what happens next...


	24. One Hundred Yesterdays (Part 6)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Source finally completes its change in Harry. And it's nothing that anyone could have predicted. The Watcher remains long enough to offer a little guidance, but it's up to Harry now to stop Zero Point and save the life of someone he loves the most...

"Jesse."

_One word, and depending on how he used it, he could either make her really happy, quiver in fear, or feel like dirt in an instant. But this time, it was just her name. Softly spoken, a quiet affirmation on his lips. She slipped her ten year old hands away from her eyes, staring straight up. She'd sat herself on the ground, pulled her knees to her chest, tried to make herself as small as possible. And looking up at her father this way, she felt so much smaller. She'd always loved how tall Harrison Wells was, how imposing he could seem, how tough. But sometimes it scared her a little, too. Especially when he was angry. Which she thought for sure he would be right now._

_He crouched down before her, lowering his stature considerably, his strong hands hanging over his knees. He was wearing a suit, black with a white shirt and no tie. It matched her white dress with the black belt and the black leggings she was wearing. She'd kicked off her shoes before she'd run off to hide._

"Why are you hiding?" _He asked her then. His voice wasn't even loud. It was just enough that they both could hear, and the people passing by outside the coat closet couldn't hear a word. He'd even slightly closed the door, so only a beam of light gave them scant views. Jesse averted her eyes at his question, straightening out her legs and smoothing her skirts as she sniffled, not bothering to hide the wetness on her cheeks. She didn't respond to him, couldn't. What would he say if he knew she was scared?_

_Ten years old and she'd been asked to speak in front of the National Collegiate Society dinner. Two hundred adults, and she was given the 'honor' of writing a speech about what changes she thought should be made in task based learning. Writing it had been the easy part, even memorizing it. But once they were there, in that great big building with all its lights and people sitting at fancy dinner tables laughing at some bald man's awful jokes as he stood at a podium on a stage, she freaked._

_Harrison Wells let out a soft sigh, unbuttoning the one button holding his suit jacket closed, and pushed his glasses a little higher up his nose before shifting position entirely and sitting beside her in the relative dark, having to shove some of the coats aside so he could press his back to the wall. Then he draped one arm around her shoulders, pulling her gently into him._

"It's okay to be scared, Jesse." _Her eyes darted up, her body going a little rigid as she turned to meet his eyes. He just smiled knowingly at her._ "That's why you ran off, hid." _For a moment, she swallowed and then hung her head._

"Yeah." _She said softly, using some tissues she'd scrounged up out of someone's pocket to wipe at her nose._ "I thought... you'd be mad." _She nearly whispered. But then his hand wrapped warmly around her shoulder._

"Why would I be mad?" _He asked, looking straight ahead, watching figures pass unaware of their presence._

"Because you're never scared." _She explained, examining the tissue in her hand like it was the holy grail of archaeological finds._

"That's not true." _He said warmly, and she looked up at him, studying his profile. She knew his face so well._ "I'm scared all of the time." _He looked down at her, catching her gaze. She blinked at him, slightly confused._

"I never see you scared, though." _Which was true. He was always so sure, always so aware and strong and capable._

"Ah, well... that's because I have a secret weapon." _He smirked lightly, the slightest curve of his lips. And she turned a little more. He picked her up then, setting her into his lap. And she rested her small hands on his arms, eagerly listening. His smirk turned into a smile as he lifted a hand and moved some of her hair out of her tear streaked face._ "I pretend." _He finally said, and she felt herself frown._

"Pretend?" _She repeated questioningly._ "What kind of weapon is that?" _He laughed, and it was the best sound because he only ever laughed like that with her._

"When I don't feel like I have the courage, I pretend I do. I put on my brave face, and I make everyone else believe I am. No one ever figures out that I'm scared. And eventually," _he shrugged softly,_ "I forget I was ever afraid to begin with."

"So..." _she settled a little more in his lap, thinking,_ "Fake it till you make it?" _And Harrison Wells laughed again, which just made her smile._

"That's my Jesse. Always so quick." _He said. A phrase she'd heard a million times and would never, ever get tired of. She grinned as he reached up and wiped her cheeks completely dry. Then he kissed her forehead._ "So whataya say we give this a try, hm? Show me your brave face." _And she did, and he smiled. Not just with his mouth, but with his eyes._ "Look at that. Can't even tell you were ever afraid." 

_Twenty minutes later, she'd finished her speech and there was applause from everyone in the room. But not Harrison Wells. He didn't clap because they had a deal. Never clap, always smile because the best things were said without making a sound. But he wasn't smiling, either. He was grinning. And he was proud. And as Jesse Wells beamed back at him, she knew... she wanted nothing more than to be just like him._

* * *

Seeing Zero Point in the breach room was startling, to say the least. It meant nothing good, and she knew that they'd all have a hell of a time on their hands. Speedsters weren't much of a match for him. They'd had to throw him through a breach just to beat him. But Jesse couldn't worry about that right now. Her thoughts were ringing with a voice that wasn't her own. The Watcher, like she was inside Jesse's skull, whispering, _'Get to Harrison Wells. Now. He's the only one who can end this.'_ She didn't understand it, wasn't sure what it really meant. But she knew it had to be done. So she left the guys to handle the meta, what other choice was there? When she sparked into the medlab, she nearly crashed into the gurney itself, she was moving so fast. 

"Caitlin!" She blurted, then held out the orb in an effort to hand it to the startled woman on the other side of the gurney. Maybe she'd know what to do with it, since the Watcher hadn't really given them any clues. Caitlin had both brows raised, glancing at what was in Jesse's hand. "It's the-" But she didn't even get a chance to finish the sentence. The orb shot up out of her grip toward the ceiling, and then flung itself down. Straight at Harry's chest.

He looked so still, his breathing was so weak, and his skin was pale, gray circles resting under his eyes. Had he really gone downhill that fast? It didn't really matter because the orb lowered itself more and more till it was centered directly over Harry's sternum. Then it simply dropped and melted. Like liquid metal. Small blue sparks spit in random directions and both Caitlin and Jesse found themselves backing up. 

"What's it doing to him?!" Caitlin paled, hands hesitating as though she was stuck between wanting to stop this and not sure if she should. Jesse just shook her head, slightly wide eyed. And then, the liquid just disappeared. The sparks vanished. Even his shirt was dry. It was like his body just soaked it up, down to the very last drop.

The sudden and terrible quiet had both women looking at each other warily.

Slowly, they stepped back toward the gurney, looking at Harry with confusion and curiosity. He looked exactly as he had a minute ago, weak and pale. No difference. But then his whole body arched, a startled sound escaping Jesse's mouth at the sight. The monitors began to go off, and Caitlin reached forward as if to grab him. But Jesse sped to her side, pulling Caitlin back. The Watcher said to let it happen. That this was how they saved him. Harry's whole form spasmed, and glowing blue veins spread all over his exposed skin. Then something awful met their ears as the veins disappeared and Harry's body slumped back into the gurney, his arm hanging limply off the side.

The heart monitor had flatlined.

And Jesse was afraid. Completely, irrevocably. Her whole body burned with it, her mind began reeling. _'A life without Harrison Wells...'_ She'd gotten a taste of that, those months he was trapped and out of reach. And it had been more than enough. Being without him, his guidance and his strength and his own brand of courage... it was just too hard, too painful. There was just no way that life was better without him. And she couldn't hide that fear, that pain, that sorrow.

"Daddy!" Jesse cried, letting go of Caitlin and moving to him, flattening her hand on his chest, her other hand curling into his hair as panic fired up every nerve in her body. "Please!" She begged, her voice ragged and filled with emotion. Caitlin had rushed to the opposite side of the room to grab the crash cart. But the moment she reached his side again, the monitor went from no heartbeat to a steady, healthy rhythm. A sound that made all the air escape Jesse's lungs.

And Harry took a deep breath.

And Harry's eyes opened.

And damn, were they bluer than Jesse ever remembered her father's eyes being... as though there was a sapphire luminescence inside the irises. He blinked, his skin somehow returning to its normal hue in a breath, and he glanced at her. 

"Jesse?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Just one word, and all the world was right again. She let out a sob, flattening herself against him as tears poured out of her eyes. She felt his hand come and smooth into her hair. The relief was immense, she could hear his heart beating steadily, feel the warmth radiating out of him. He was alive and he was holding her, and she could feel his chest rise and fall as he let out a sigh.

As much as she wished she could just stay like that, there wasn't time.

She stood up straight, wiping at her face as she let out a shaken breath. It was time to put on her 'brave' face. To pretend like all this wasn't happening too fast and she wasn't still worried about Harrison Wells. 

"Dad, you're alright. You're... cured." She lied and hated it, but she had to get him up. She knew he'd forgive her for a white lie, but keep him out of a fight when he was able to hold his own? That he'd be more than angry about. "Zero Point, he's in the breach room." She said firmly. And then watched something come over her father's features. A determination, a hardness she knew very well. And he was suddenly hopping off the gurney, completely ignoring Caitlin's vocal worries, pushing past her and running without looking back. The two women only paused long enough to exchange wary glances.

Harry seemed fine. Better than fine, which was worrisome since only moments ago he was dying...

"Go." Caitlin said, stepping back and out of the way. Jesse just swallowed. Then nodded and sped off.

* * *

When his power fled his hands, it was like a hundred battering rams. 

Vibe went flying, smashing hard into a wall on the opposite side of the room and landing in a still heap on the floor. The Flash went tumbling into a metal beam but managed to stay conscious, coughing up a little blood as he pushed himself to his hands and feet, holding his ribs. Kid Flash managed to dart out of the way, speeding toward the doorway. And that was when Zero Point saw Wells.

Doctor Harrison Wells and the female speedster had just entered the room. Kid Flash looked a little stunned at the sight of him, like he hadn't expected to see him at all. And there was also the fact that Wells didn't quite look like himself. Or at least his eyes didn't. They were brilliant blue, a cold fire burning within them that Zero Point didn't remember ever being there. Interesting. Wells was looking at Vibe's still form, then glanced to the Flash, then to Zero Point. He pushed past Kid Flash, stepping down the short metal stairs, hands in fists. 

"Dad!" The female speedster called out, moving after him. So Wells had a kid? That was new. Nothing Zero Point had ever researched said anything about kids. Wells paused only long enough to point a finger at her. That seemed to be enough to still her, and she gripped onto Kid Flash's arm for dear life. She looked as though she was fighting her emotions, steeling herself, choosing to do the opposite of what her instincts were telling her to do.

"I knew you were around here somewhere, Wells." Zero Point said, opening and closing his hands as the tall man stepped into the center of the room. He looked great, healthy even. All that time in their shared hell, and he'd made it out better than when he'd entered. Zero Point didn't bother to ponder why that was. Fuck if he cared. He smirked softly, letting his mirth be as visible as possible. "Nice contacts." Zero Point said, raising a finger and tapping near his own eye. Wells furrowed his brows, looking slightly confused.

"This ends now." Wells said. "You're not going to hurt anyone else." He pulled up his sleeves toward his elbows, feet shoulder width apart like he was just jonesing for a fight. Zero Point laughed lightly.

"Seriously? What are you going to do, huh? We're not back there, Wells." He motioned to where the breach had been. "We're home now. And here, I'm the one with the advantages."

But Wells wasn't looking at him. 

His eyes had moved to a corner of the room, and there was a strange expression on his face. He wasn't the only one. Both his daughter, Flash and Kid Flash were staring at the same corner slightly wide eyed. Only Wells' daughter didn't look confused, she looked determined. He turned his head only for a moment to see what they were all looking at. But there was nothing there. No one. He raised a brow, looking back at Wells who was now watching him again.

"You might be wrong about that." Wells said smoothly, his hands completely relaxing at his sides. "I've got... hope... on my side." And he smiled slowly. Zero Point chuckled lightly.

"Wow. Just... wow. You've lost your damn mind." He shook his head but let out a slow, almost content sigh. "No matter. Just makes this easier for me." And he raised both hands.

His power fled out of him, focused entirely on Wells. He manipulated the gravity around him, to crush him, to toss him like he was nothing.

But that wasn't what happened.

In fact, nothing happened.

Wells just stood there, unharmed, not even flinching. 

"What the fuck?" Zero Point muttered, then tried again. Letting out a yell as his power slammed out of him. And again, no reaction. Wells looked down for a moment before he glanced at his daughter. Then he took three long, very quick steps toward Zero Point and punched him square in the jaw.

Everything after that was confusing and it filled him with rage. 

This shouldn't be happening! He knew damn well he couldn't beat Wells in a hands-on fight. He'd learned that the hard way on the other Earth. But here he was, pummeling him, blow after blow. He tried to keep his own. Tried to fight back. Not just with his fists, but with his powers which suddenly seemed useless against Wells. He was affecting everything around the man, but not a single bit of his power seemed to touch him. Before Zero Point knew it, Wells had him in a choke hold, pushed up against the wall so he couldn't see anyone else. He could feel his body getting heavy from lack of oxygen. He clawed at Wells arm, struggled, did everything he could to get away. But Wells was strong, and skilled when it came to fighting like this.

"Dad!" Zero Point heard the female speedsters voice. "Dad, stop! You're killing him!" And for a moment, the tension in Wells' arms faltered. "Dad, please... it's over..." The girl said softly. And then Wells just let go. Zero Point dropped to the ground, coughing, gasping, willing air to find its way back to his lungs. He glanced up at the man before him, the girl holding on to his arm warmly. Wells was staring down at him with a mix of satisfaction and anger. Wells could have done it. He could have kept strangling him. He could have snuffed him out without wasting a sweat. But he didn't. Why? Just because his kid asked not him to? And why would she care?

"You're right." Wells said, touching his daughter's hand. And then, before Zero Point could even think past his own need to breathe, Wells stepped forward and kicked him in the head.

The lights went out.

* * *

Harry skidded to a halt beside Cisco's unmoving form after Wally grabbed Zero Point and rushed him to the Pipeline. 

He'd wanted Zero Point dead. Deader than dead. Throttling him to death for all he'd done was the least he deserved. But Jesse stopped him. Not so much her words, or even her delicate hand on him, but the idea that this was not the man he needed to be. After he'd killed Turtle, back when she was a prisoner of Zoom, it had been easy. Too easy. He'd have done many terrible, unforgivable things to get her back. But he'd promised her he'd never do anything like that again. He promised to be the sort of father she deserved. And killing Zero Point would have been the opposite of that.

Honestly, everything that had happened, was still happening, was making his head spin a little. When he'd first woken in the medlab, he didn't feel any different. Sure, his head didn't hurt anymore. And other than being a little groggy and confused, he felt... great. Better than great. When Jesse told him that Zero Point was here, it was like someone flipped a switch in his head. He didn't know why, he didn't know how, he just knew he had to stop him. And it seemed Jesse had been in agreement, because she hadn't voiced any opposition. That should have been more confusing than anything else.

The confidence he felt, the surety that Zero Point couldn't hurt him was the most confusing thing of all. There was no reason for it. Nothing that could possibly make sense, till she showed up. The Watcher had stood there, in the corner of the room, visible to him, Barry, Wally and Jesse. And she'd said one simple thing. 

_'This is what the change was for, Harrison. This,'_ She'd motioned to him, _'Is who you are now.'_ And when Zero Point attacked, and literally nothing happened to him, Harry knew that something was very, very different. Not wrong, not really. Just... not normal.

None of that mattered to him now, though. He was pulling Ramon into his lap, pulling off Cisco's goggles. He cradled him with one arm, his other hand coming away bloody from the back of Cisco's head. 

"God..." He choked out. "Jesse, get Snow!" He ordered.

'That isn't necessary, Harrison.'

He looked up to see Not-Tess, the Watcher, standing across from him. Barry was limping toward them, Jesse and Wally standing at his back. Harry tore his eyes away from her, looking down at Cisco's completely still form. He was breathing, but it was barely noticeable. When he'd hit the wall, he'd cracked his head, there was just so much blood. God knows how bad he was actually hurt. 

"What are you talking about?!" Harry snapped, looking back up at her, anger beginning to boil in combination with his worry. But the Watcher smiled at him.

'I told you before that the change had already manifested in you, many times. Don’t you think it’s strange, that you could heal so quickly, so well?' She asked, giving him a knowing look. 'That ability, Harrison, isn’t just limited to your own body.'

"Wait, you're saying... he can-" Jesse began, and the Watcher simply nodded, finishing her sentence for her.

'Heal others. Yes.' Harry grit his teeth, clenching his jaw and shaking his head. 

"I don't know how to do that!" He exclaimed, "This is madness." But the Watcher knelt down, making him meet her gaze.

'Is it? With all you know, all you've seen, with metahumans and science and multiple Earths... is this really the craziest thing that could happen?' She asked, and Harry closed his eyes a moment, holding Cisco closer.

"Things... like what you're saying... they don't happen to me." He muttered quietly and felt Jesse's hand on his shoulder as she knelt behind him, leaning into him, offering comfort. And he couldn't say why, but he was starting to feel tired. Extremely tired, like the energy was being sucked out of his body.

'Everything happens for a reason, Harrison. You’ve blamed yourself for so long, for things that you can’t control, for guilt that was never yours to own. You've wanted redemption, fought for it. Prayed for it.' He opened his eyes to look at her, and she was smiling kindly, warmly. 'The multiverse heard you. This,' She motioned to Cisco, 'Is your answer.' And when he looked down at Cisco, there were chocolate brown eyes staring back at him. Harry's breath caught in his throat.

"Harry?" Ramon breathed out, looking confused, "Your... your eyes..." he mumbled. But Harry wasn't really hearing him, he hugged him tight against himself. Cisco curled his arms around him in response.

"His head's not bleeding anymore." Barry said, crouching with a wince and reaching forward to move Cisco's hair aside. The wound was completely gone. Harry let Cisco sit up on his own, glancing toward where the Watcher had been kneeling. But she was gone. As though she'd never been there.

And Harry, well... he felt exhausted. He felt unconsciousness creeping in on him. He heard Cisco's voice, and Jesse’s. He felt his muscles go limp, felt himself being grabbed onto as he slumped backward.

 _'The multiverse heard you.'_ She'd said.

'Thank you... Hope.' And that was the last thing Harry thought before he closed his eyes and let the exhaustion take him.


	25. Reflections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time has passed since the fight with Zero Point. And though they don't understand everything that happened, there finally seems to be some respite ahead. That doesn't mean that there still isn't some healing to be done. And Cisco plans on being the one to help Harry do just that.

The days following the final showdown with Zero Point were blissfully uneventful.

And confusing.

The Watcher had disappeared, seemingly for good. Looking back on the security footage was strange because it was like she'd never even been there. They were interacting with nothing. Yet everyone was certain they'd seen her, heard her. Except for Zero Point, of course. As for that dickhead, Cisco spent nearly twenty hours creating special, indestructible cuffs that would keep Zero Point from using his powers. And after he'd finished them, they handed him off to A.R.G.U.S. and out of their lives for good.

Harry's changes were something they had no idea how to accurately quantify. Trial and error (as in Cisco trying to vibe Harry, and Barry trying to phase a hand harmlessly through Harry) proved to them one very clear thing: No meta could affect Harrison Wells, in any way. It was as though he was completely immune to metahuman abilities. Which was both really cool, and downright confusing. It just shouldn't have been possible.

Healing Cisco's head injury had taken a lot out of Harry, he'd slept for nearly a day (which was why it was such a good thing Barry could heal quickly all on his own.) And yes, it was just sleeping. Caitlin ran a battery of tests on him. And from what she could see, Harry was still one hundred percent human, and one hundred percent himself. Whatever the initial change was that she'd seen in his cells was no longer there. It didn't show up in any of her tests. And yet, Harry had definitely changed. Despite no scientific proof to back it all up, he was not just a regular old human. He wasn't metahuman. He was something else. And the proof of that, beyond what little they knew, was in his eyes.

To be honest, Cisco found them mesmerizing. 

When Harry looked at him, Cisco instantly went still, his breath catching, unable to tear his gaze away. Of anything Cisco had ever seen, Harry's eyes -though always attractive- were now the most beautiful damn eyes that he had ever seen. But Harry never said word one about them. In fact, he spent two days with Jesse creating a pair of contact lenses to lessen the vibrant sapphire hue. Which made sense. He couldn't exactly go out in public with irises like that.

Jesse left a few days after. She'd been away from Earth-2 for awhile and needed to get back to work. Cisco had to practically sell his soul to get her to believe that Harry was in fact okay, and that if anything came up, she'd be the first to know. Harry promised her that he'd visit soon. And she left probably far more at ease than she had seemed in far too long.

As for Harry as a whole, he was calm. Somewhat quiet. Always thinking. It was as though he was trying to figure out his new place in the world, even though he really didn't need to. He was still Harry. Still the guy Cisco loved. Still Jesse's father. Still an irreplaceable part of their team. But there were moments Cisco would catch Harry looking at his hands like he didn't recognize them, or Harry would stare at the reflection of his eyes like he wished he could erase them. Kind of like now.

Harry had gotten out of the shower, dressed into dark jeans and stopped by the floor length mirror near the closet. It was rare that Cisco saw him without a shirt on, and if he did it was super brief because Harry would snag a shirt and pull it on quickly. He hated his scars, which Cisco thought was because they were a terrible reminder of his time on 714. He didn't know for sure, though, because that seemed to be the one thing Harry wouldn't talk about. For some reason, however, Harry had frozen in front of that mirror, his bright eyes catching his attention, as though he would never quite get used to them. And it gave Cisco, who was sitting on the bed changing the batteries in the storm remote, a perfect view of Harry's back.

The slash marks, which ranged from Harry's right shoulder across his back to his left hip, were pale against his skin, the ragged scar from when Zero Point dragged him through the breach like a splash of white on his left lower back. He had more, dotted around his torso, mingling with the scars he’d had for years.

Slowly, Cisco put the remote down, standing as quietly as he could, wary that he might just startle Harry into putting a shirt on. And Cisco really, really didn't want him to. Because he'd been dying to prove to Harry that the scars didn't matter to him. They really didn't. He still loved him, head to toe, regardless. So, slowly and as silently as possible, he came up behind Harry. And he reached out, pressing one warm hand to Harry's cool back.

Every muscle in Harry's body tensed, even his hands clenched. But he didn't move away. And Cisco took that as permission to slide his hand down the length of the scars, inspecting them with his fingertips. Harry's body slowly relaxed, and he reached forward, pressing his hands to the wall to either side of the mirror, hanging his head and letting out a breath. 

Since Harry had been back from 714, they hadn't been intimate. Nothing beyond kissing, small touches, reassurances in passing. Cisco wanted it to happen on Harry's terms, when he was ready. But he was beginning to think that Harry would need a little encouragement, to know that it was okay, that Cisco still wanted him.

"Harry..." Cisco whispered, stepping closer, both hands moving to either side of Harry's bare ribs. And he breathed warm breath on Harry's spine before pressing his lips to one of the scars. Harry heaved a sigh, his torso expanding deeply before releasing the air in his lungs. Cisco pushed closer, wrapping his arms completely around him, pressing his forehead into Harry's back, between his shoulder blades, and closed his eyes. For a long, quiet moment, Harry didn't even move. He just stood there, using the wall to hold him up, head bowed. "Please..." Cisco found himself saying softly, not even sure what he was saying please for. But then Harry straightened. His hands dropped, he lifted his head.

Harry turned in Cisco's grasp, forcing him to look up and meet those brilliant eyes. Even with the intense color, Cisco could read the unease in them, the worry, the fear. And he shook his head, glancing only a moment at the baseball shaped scar on Harry's ribs and the angular looking scar that sat directly over his sternum, before getting up on tip toe, holding onto Harry's sides. He pressed their mouths together, his warm lips meeting Harry's soft ones briefly. Then he pulled back, enough to catch Harry's uncertain gaze. 

"Let me make love to you." Cisco said. And under most circumstances, that would sound corny and overly romantic. But Harry closed his eyes, his hands coming up to grip onto Cisco's hips. He let out a short breath before pressing his forehead to Cisco's. "You have to know," Cisco pressed his palm against one of the scars, "These don't matter. Not to me. I will always love you. All of you. Scars included." He whispered.

"Ramon..." he said, brows furrowing softly, eyes trailing down Cisco's form before his eyes came back to his, "It was never about the scars." He whispered, his voice strained with emotion that he couldn't put into words.

"Then what?" Cisco asked gently, searching his face. "Talk to me." He pleaded.

"I'm... I was... afraid." Harry said, letting a shaken breath out, stepping out of Cisco's hold and moving further into their bedroom, stopping just before the bed with his hands on his hips and his back once again to Cisco. "Afraid that place was all you'd see. That I'd never be rid of that time." He slowly turned to look at him, letting his hands fall. "I don't want you to look at me like that... with pity... with..." he struggled to find the right word, hands clenching and relaxing, "With regret."

Well, shit.

Cisco felt his throat catch. If a heart breaking could make a sound, his would have been heard halfway across the world as it cracked. He couldn't help the wetness that suddenly filled his eyes, and he closed the distance. He grabbed onto Harry's sides firmly, staring up at those brilliant bluer than blue irises. 

"Never. You hear me? I will never do that. Not to you. I love you too damn much." He shook his head a little, watching a tear escape one of Harry's eyes. And he sighed, reaching up and wiping it gently away. "All of that? It's over, Harry. It's done. You know what I see when I look at you?" He asked, holding Harry's sorrow laden stare, "The same hardass I've always loved. And that's what I'll always see. You're it, Harry. You're my forever, no matter what happens." 

Cisco couldn't stop the emotion in his tone, the slight crack in his voice. This conversation had been a long time coming for them both, but even he hadn't realized just how much they'd both been hurting. It felt good to get it out, to know that Harry was finally opening up about it. And it felt good to give him this reassurance. It was almost like a gift to them both. Harry closed his eyes, a relieved breath leaving his lungs. 

"Ramon..." he whispered, and damn if he didn't make Cisco's name sound like a prayer. It stilled everything within him, and he was lost in Harry's eyes when he opened them again. "I need you." Harry finally got out. And before anything else could be said, Harry's hands were in Cisco's hair, and they were sharing quite possibly the most passionate kiss they'd had in a long time.

Far too long.

The smell of him, the taste of his mouth, the feel of his hands as Cisco guided him back onto the bed, it was all so wonderfully familiar. It was a dance they'd shared so many times, but Cisco already knew this would be different. There was just no way it wouldn't be. There was no rushing involved, no greedy hands, no vying for attention. Unspoken, they both knew they wanted much more than that. And Cisco took the initiative first. He let his hands and lips examine Harry, starting at his throat, quietly moving lower. He treated Harry's body like it was the first time he'd ever seen it. He wanted to re-memorize every freckle, every muscle, every scar. When he closed his eyes, he wanted to see Harry as he was now. He wanted an image that would stay with him forever.

Harry laid there, eyes closed, breath steady, his chest rising and falling as Cisco followed every line and scar like a road map. He made his way to Harry's pants, unbuttoning them, pulling them easily off and discarding them onto the floor. Once Harry was completely nude before him, he continued his thorough examination. Though now, Harry had propped himself up on his elbows, watching him. And what Cisco saw in his face, his eyes, took his breath away. The affection, the pure and clear love he saw there, took his heart and spun it around. And suddenly, just using his hands and mouth wasn't enough.

He stepped back from Harry, aware he was still being watched intently, and Cisco pulled his sweater off, then his pants and socks, till he was standing before Harry entirely nude. Harry dragged his eyes over Cisco's form as though he was seeing him for the first time. And the heat there, _damn that heat_ , it lit Harry's already illuminated stare with a cold fire that had Cisco sighing before he crawled back up Harry's form. He wanted to feel him, skin to skin, to remember the delight of it, to feel Harry's strong hands on his flesh. And that's exactly what he got as Harry grabbed onto him, turning him into the mattress gently, pressing their bodies together as their mouths met again.

How could Cisco ever explain what it was like to be loved like this? Even though he could have been otherwise, Harry was so tender with him. So much so that it made Ramon's heart ache all over again, but for a much better reason. Harry did to Cisco much the same of what Cisco had done to him. But took it another step and turned Ramon over, so that Cisco's back was to Harry's chest, hot breath on Cisco's ear. 

"I love you," Harry’s whispered before pressing his lips to Ramon's neck, then his shoulder. He closed his eyes, shuddering softly as Harry's hand slipped forward and down, gripping Cisco's hardness firmly, pumping him in steady and easy thrusts. And Ramon responded by pressing his rear eagerly against Harry's dick. Harry let out a heavy breath, gasping lightly as Cisco intentionally caused friction for him, moving his hips with each move of Harry's hand on his more than hard cock.

All the sensations, the pure electricity, even the delicate warmth was making his groin ache wonderfully. He reached behind him, curling his hand into Harry's ass, turning his head to catch Harry's mouth with his own. Their lips parted, tongues colliding, warm and wet. They kept up the momentum, warm bodies working in tandem to gain as much familiar pleasure as they could. It wasn't till the kiss broke that Cisco reached back toward the nightstand, pulling out the lube. Harry took it from him, barely separating their bodies as he poured some onto Ramon's dick. And the sudden, slick feel of Harry's hand working him again had Cisco moaning softly, grinding against him a little harder than before. A very hot breath and a sound almost like a growl escaped Harry's throat. He let Cisco's dick go, moving his hand between them, sliding his fingers between Ramon's cheeks, massaging his hole.

He found himself gripping the blanket, his breath catching, heart hammering. The anticipation of what Harry was about to do nearly made him whimper. Harry's hand disappeared only a moment, and a slick sound met Cisco's ears as Harry lubed himself up. Then Harry was holding him, strong arms wrapping around Ramon's frame in almost a very protective and possessive way as he slowly pushed himself inside of Cisco. 

The result was bliss. Pure and simple. Cisco panted out as bit by bit Harry sheathed himself inside of him. Both of them were making light sounds, until finally Harry was fully inside, as deep as he could get, which was pretty deep at this angle. Ramon could feel Harry's heart hammering against his back, Harry's breath so damn hot against his shoulder.

Then Harry began to move, sensuously slow and steady, in and out, up and down. His strong hands caressed Cisco’s flesh, gripping and soothing. If the sensations had been intense before, they were downright unspeakable now. There was nothing fast about this. No frustrated thrusting, no hard movements. Just real, almost downright spiritual love making. When Harry had said that he needed Cisco, he hadn't pictured just what that meant. But he was beginning to figure it out. Harry didn't need his body, though that was probably a huge plus. He needed Cisco's love. Without limits, without regrets, without fail. 

After a while, Harry pulled out, turning Ramon onto his back. He didn't go back into him right away. Instead, he pressed himself on top of him, a thumb sliding over Cisco's lips as they lost themselves in each other's eyes. 

"The Watcher..." Harry whispered, "She said this change, this... whatever this is..." he motioned to his own eyes, "Was my redemption." He sighed, dropping his hand to Cisco's hair, smoothing it back, slipping his fingers into the dark depths of it. "She was wrong." He whispered, "You're my redemption, Ramon."

There were times when Harry surprised the hell out of him. Usually with actions because Harry wasn’t always good with words. Expressing what he was feeling or thinking out loud just didn't come easy to him. But this? What he was saying? Shit. In that moment, he loved Harry impossibly more. The feelings silenced Cisco completely. For a change, he was the one who didn't know how to say what he was feeling. So instead, he let out a small sound and kissed Harry longingly. It seemed to be answer enough, because as Cisco opened his legs, Harry went back to work. He slid back in easily, finding that same sensuous rhythm that seemed to mark this entire encounter. And Ramon was just a mess because of it. It wasn't long before they both orgasmed, holding each other through it as one release followed the other.

Moments later, they were face to face in their bed. Harry had cleaned Cisco up, pulled the blankets over them. It was the middle of the day, but there was no way they were leaving that bed now. Ramon traced the lines on Harry's face, examining the flecks in his husband's brilliant eyes. Neither one of them said anything for a long while. There was just such a content air around them, a warmth that couldn't be named and honestly didn't need to be. For Cisco, it felt as though they'd picked up all their pieces and finally fit them back together. Sure, they were a little skewed and the scars would always be visible. But somehow, they felt more perfect because of it.

Harry's hand rested heavily on Cisco's hip, their legs tangled comfortably, the warmth of their bodies radiating beneath the covers. It spelled out the rest of their day for them. They spent hours in that bed, just reaffirming their connection. Both physically and otherwise. When night finally came, and they'd eventually taken the time to eat and shower, they found themselves right back in that bed, though clothed this time. Cisco was hugging Harry's arm to his chest, Harry pressed up against him from behind as the darkness settled in around them. They'd talked about so many things in between their romps that Ramon, for a change, didn't feel the need to break the silence. It was Harry who spoke, though softly. 

"For the record, you're my forever, too."

Cisco couldn't help but smile, sighing out his contentment before lifting Harry's hand to his lips, kissing his knuckles for a moment before hugging his arm again. 

"I love you, Harrison Wells." He said, just as softly. And Harry let out a content sigh of his own.

"I love you, too." He responded. No hesitation, complete affection in his voice.

The night swallowed them up shortly after, drawing them deep into probably the most comfortable and safe sleep either one of them had experienced in a while. And Cisco dreamed about the day they'd shared. The coming back together, the fixing of their broken parts.

Harrison Wells would always be a man who wouldn't admit that sometimes he needed saving. And that was okay, because Ramon would always be the man to rescue him anyway. Not because he had to. But because there was nothing in any world that would ever stop him from trying. There would always be danger, and rough patches were just par for the course. There would also always be those who didn't understand their relationship, or who would try to pull them apart. But what all that danger and those people didn't realize was that Cisco Ramon and Harrison Wells would always share a fate, a destiny, or whatever word seemed to fit. There was no lifetime, no Earth, no reality that they weren't soulmates.

And, for a change, the multiverse finally seemed to be figuring that out...


	26. Escape Route

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A teenage meta comes to S.T.A.R. Labs looking for help, only to find that circumstances will keep her among the team indefinitely. At Cisco and Jesse's insistence, Harry agrees to become a reluctant mentor. But when it's clear the girl's dark past rules over her, Harry might just have to tear the powerful girl's notions down before she figures out that there might just be a better future in store...

The girl wouldn't stop staring at him. 

And girl was exactly what Maggie King was. 

Fifteen years old and a meta. The first one they'd met that was so young. And of course in trouble. Her story was a sad one, really. Her mother had died when she was five and she'd ended up in the system as a ward of the state, bouncing from foster home to foster home. When the particle accelerator exploded, she'd been playing on the railroad tracks, alone because no one really cared where she'd been. The result was her gaining the ability to manipulate, create and control electricity. An ability she had managed to keep mostly to herself until recently, when her most recent foster 'father' decided she was worth visiting in the middle of the night. Out of fear, she fried him to a crisp, which was probably only half of what he'd deserved. With only drug addicts and petty thieves as friends, no family to turn to and a substantial fear for her life, she ran.

After that, the kid could have run anywhere but instead showed up on the front steps of S.T.A.R. Labs demanding to speak with The Flash. That was three weeks ago, and they still hadn't quite figured out what to do with her. Investigating her story proved that she'd only been defending herself, but metas were often met with anger and fear unless they were actively heroing about. If they took her to the police, she'd probably end up disappearing back into a system that could care less, and most likely be the guinea pig in someone's medical experiments. If they sent her to A.R.G.U.S., the result would be pretty much the same. So Cisco, in his infinite wisdom, agreed that they would look after her until they could figure out what their plan would be.

Currently, Harry was standing with his arms crossed and his face set in a near perfect expression of distaste as he stared right back at her. 

She was sitting on the island counter, swinging her booted feet, ripped jeans flapping little strings. She was sewing yet another patch onto the warn out messenger bag she carried everywhere, but without looking at what her fingers were really doing. Her hazel eyes were perpetually locked on his. Ever since she'd seen him without the contacts on, she'd been that way. And it was driving him nuts. He reached out quickly with one hand when Cisco started to move past him with hammer in hand and grabbed him by the arm. 

"If she doesn't stop doing that, I'm going to drag her back to S.T.A.R. Labs and lock her in the Pipeline." Cisco, having stopped, smirked lightly, glancing from Harry to Maggie, who'd stopped sewing and started scowling.

"You know I can hear you. I'm right here." She said, willing as much attitude into her voice as possible. Harry let go of Cisco's arm and took a step toward her. But Cisco grabbed him by the belt, his fingers hooking into Harry's pants and tugging him backward.

"Maggie, go sit on the couch." Cisco said, pointing at her, then he let Harry go and nudged his shoulder. "And you stop being so grouchy." Maggie just hastily ran a hand through her brightly dyed red hair and hopped off the counter with a sigh, dragging her bag along with her and moving toward the living room area.

"Why?" Harry said, turning to look at Barry who had finished his most recent speed cycle on the bedroom walls he was helping to put up in their apartment. "Having her here was your idea, remember? Not mine." He practically grated out. Cisco was still smirking, and it just made the whole situation more annoying.

"Harry, come on. We've talked about this. She can't just live at the lab, Caitlin doesn't have the space, Iris and Barry are never at their place and we've got the room. Might as well put it to good use, right?" Cisco replied, giving Barry a thumbs up when the speedster effortlessly put the door in. The new bedroom for Maggie didn't take up much space, in the grand scheme of things. They'd put it across from their own, building walls for both. The living room, kitchen, dining area and office space would still be open concept. But that wasn't the point. He could care less about the space being used.

"Ramon," He stepped closer, forcing Cisco to look straight up at him, "She's a pest."

And she really was. She had an attitude for miles, barely cleaned up after herself, and had next to no respect for anyone. Or anything. Of course, Harry knew why that was. She'd been treated like luggage most of her life, everything she owned could fit in a trash bag, and she'd never had any real guidance. But Harry had raised his kid, and dammit... after everything they'd been through, he just wanted some peace for a change. Cisco sighed softly at him, reaching forward and gripping Harry's hips warmly.

"She just needs a chance. Something we've all needed at one time or another. Just... be patient, okay? She might surprise you." Cisco's voice was soft and patient, ever the voice of reason. Ugh. Harry couldn't stand that sometimes. But he lifted his hands to rest on Cisco's arms and nodded once. He could be patient, for now.

"Dudes, get a room." Maggie said, passing by them toward the bathroom and nearly slamming the door shut behind her.

Okay, maybe he couldn't be patient. 

"I'm getting my pulse rifle." Harry growled out, letting Cisco go and turning. Ramon cringed and grabbed him.

"Honey, no!" He blurted, and Barry just started laughing. Hard.

Harry was not looking forward to this.

* * *

“So...” she crossed her arms over her chest, crossing her legs at the ankles, sitting back completely in her chair. She had her hair up in a ponytail, a long tie dyed green and yellow summer dress on, with dark gray leggings and her usual pair of unlaced black combat boots. The girl had an odd idea of what fashion was. Not that Harry could really comment on it. According to Barry, he had the fashion sense of a mannequin. “You're not Wells... but you are Wells.” She furrowed her brows at him, watching him turn the screwdriver in his hand, putting the plating onto a short fuse EMP grenade.

“It's not that hard to grasp.” He sighed, setting the tool down and taking his glasses off. His contacts were hiding the glow in his eyes, but they didn't replace the need for his glasses. He looked at her, seeing the ever plain and stern expression on her young face. “Thawne killed the Wells of this Earth, took his face and assumed his identity. But he died. I came here from my Earth. I stayed. The end.” Of course it was a whole lot more complicated than that, but they were in the middle of trying to take down a drone with artificial intelligence created by a scientist with no idea what he'd gotten himself into, and now the machine was hell bent on killing what it deemed 'inoperable authority.' Harry had better things to worry about than explaining all this to Maggie. And yet, here she was. She could have pestered anyone. Cisco, Barry, Caitlin. Whomever. But no, she decided it was better to trail after him today.

“Yeah, about that. The whole multiverse thing. If I understand it right, that means there're like... hundreds of me running around? Like I could be a superstar on one Earth, a straight A student on another?” She cracked a light smile. “I'm pretty sure I'm awesome everywhere.” She let her arms fall with a sarcastic grin. Harry just narrowed his gaze at her.

“There is an endless number of possibilities of what and who you are on other Earths.” He stood up, pushing his chair back and picking up the grenade. “You could be the devil incarnate on one Earth. Not exist on another.” He moved past her. “A pain in the ass everywhere else.” He could practically feel the smile fall from her face. He had so little patience for this girl. Especially after her most recent incident. She'd called Joe an asshole pig to his face, which had taken them all a little by surprise. People swore, sure. People said things when they got upset or agitated. Hell, he said stuff all the time he didn't mean. But the difference was, he made up for them and he wasn't blatantly disrespectful like Maggie was. He tried to make things right, too. This kid? She just railed off at the mouth and showed no remorse, took no punishment seriously, chose to be the closest thing to awful as she could be without physically hurting anyone.

“Dad.” Jesse said sternly, standing in the doorway of the small lab they were in. And he had to smile at her. She had her arms crossed over her chest, frowning at him in that way that said she did not agree with him on something.

“Ah,” he set the grenade in a padded case and closed the lid, moving toward her, “There's my Jesse Quick.” She sighed, her expression softening lightly as she moved into him to hug him. “I didn't think you'd be back till next week.” He said as she let go, glancing from him to Maggie who was frowning deeply, watching them interact.

“You have a kid. You.” Maggie said then, standing and shaking her head. “But you're such a dick.” She added. And Jesse instantly went wide eyed and decided to grab back onto him as he turned to face Maggie, the edges of anger bubbling in his blood.

“You must be Maggie.” Jesse said warmly, putting herself in between her father and the fifteen year old. She extended her hand cordially. “I'm Jesse Wells.” Maggie glanced at her hand, then took it lazily.

“Uh huh.” She said flatly as she shook, pulling her hand back and crossing her arms again. Jesse cleared her throat a little, glancing back at her father who had decided to cross the room to grab the next EMP grenade that needed tuning. It was better than actively trying not to throttle a teenager.

“I've heard a lot about you.” He heard Jesse say, passing her with the grenade in hand and heading back to his table.

“Yeah? They tell you I'm a charity case? You come to help the poor meta kid?” Maggie rounded the chair she'd been sitting in, snatching her messenger bag off the table and moving to sit on the floor by a plug in the wall. She began rifling through her bag for her iPod. Jesse smirked lightly, more amused than anything. Then she sped to a sitting position at Maggie's side, startling the girl, who squeaked, practically strangling her bag in a hug as she stared at Jesse wide eyed.

“Not at all. Considering I don't see a charity case or poor meta kid anywhere in here.” Jesse explained, crossing her ankles and folding her hands in her lap.

“You're...” Maggie swallowed, lowering her bag, “A speedster. Like Wally and Barry.” She stated, more for her own ears than anyone else. Harry glanced over at the two as he adjusted the magnifying light on the table, catching Jesse's twinkling gaze. He couldn't help but smile a little.

“Yep.” Jesse answered, resting her head against the wall. “And you can manipulate and create electric currents.” She stated, and Maggie just blinked. “Can I see?” Jesse asked, motioning at her with one hand. For a moment, Maggie didn't say or do anything. Then she looked away, glancing at Harry as if she were asking permission. He caught her glance. Interesting. He set his tool down. Gave her one curt nod. And then she lifted a hand.

Small, electric sparks flew from her fingertips. Spirals of electric current wound their way around her wrist, her palm, her fingers. And then she closed her hand into a fist and they disappeared. Jesse nodded, smiling.

“That was fantastic. You've got a good handle on that.” She praised. And for a moment, Maggie flushed slightly, looking down at her hands.

“Are you sure you're his kid?” Maggie asked sheepishly, then made a determined face as she glared at Harry. “Cause you're way nicer than he is.” Jesse stifled a laugh as Harry glared right back.

“Dad,” she said, staring right at him, “Gives what he gets.” She reached over and touched Maggie's hand gently. “From what I've heard, and can see, you're not exactly being a peach, either.” At that, Maggie pulled her hand away, clenching her jaw.

“Yeah, well... why should I be?” She pushed herself to her feet. “I'm not here cause I wanna be.” She began to walk away. “I'm here cause I got nowhere else to go.” She moved past Harry who just shook his head as he removed the panel off the grenade. Maggie didn't even look back, she just kept walking, disappearing out the door and down the hall. Harry ignored her absence completely, happy she was out of his presence. It was the first time all damn day. And honestly, it was a relief. Well... at first, anyway. Until Jesse stood up and walked to the table, stopping before him with her arms crossed in judgment.

“Don't look at me like that.” He stated, glancing at her over the rim of his glasses.

“She's just a kid.” Jesse explained, as though the fact hadn't dawned on him.

“No.” He said, sitting back a little and pulling his glasses off, “She's an insolent, disrespectful, dangerous young lady who doesn't care about anyone or anything but herself.” Jesse's frown only deepened. “You can stand there and be pissed at me all you want. But I'm not catering to a petulant child.”

“Petulant. Nice, Dad.” Jesse dropped her arms, sighing through her nostrils, jaw clenching lightly for a moment. “Ever stop to wonder why she is that way?”

“A tragic past does not excuse further terrible deeds.” He looked back down at his work, feeling her eyes boring holes into his head.

“Yeah except no one has taught her that. From what Caitlin told me, it's pretty obvious she hasn't had any examples of what a good life can be.” She said, reaching forward and covering one of his hands with her own, forcing him to stop what he was doing and look at her. “What's with you, Dad? You have way more patience than this. I know you do.” Harry frowned at her, pulling his hand away.

“Nothing is 'with me.'” he countered. “It's not my job to look after someone else's kid.” He stood up, dropping the panel to the grenade and moving away from the table, frustration settling in his bones. Last thing he needed was to break the grenade with his anger.

“Wow.” Jesse said flatly, shaking her head. “Seriously, wow.”

“Don't.” He growled out at her.

“And why not?” She moved toward him. “Dad, you could be so good for her.” She said, reaching out and grabbing his hand. “You're an amazing father. You always have been.” She continued, sighing softly. “I'm proof of that.” He felt the frustration fizzle in his veins and he took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

“No.” He said firmly. “I'm not. You're just incredible. I deserve no credit for that.” He admitted honestly, watching the surprise in her eyes. “How I didn't screw you up...” he shook his head a little. “When your mother died, I made every mistake possible. And I knew I couldn't give you the emotional grounding you needed, that you deserved. It didn't stop me from trying, but I was never the father you should have had. The fact that you've got such a good heart is not my doing.” He let go of her hand, stepping away, motioning a hand at the doorway. “I can't help that girl.”

It all made sense to him. He loved Jesse, with everything he was. He'd die for her in a heartbeat. He'd sacrifice everything and anything for her, and all she'd have to do was ask. But he would never consider himself a good parent. He was lacking all the qualities a good parent needed, and he knew it. He wasn't going to admit a falsehood just to inflate his ego. He wasn't going to put flowers in an asshole and call it a vase.

But Jesse let out a sound and moved into him, clinging to him, hugging him so tight that it stilled everything in him, erasing the frustration from existence. For a moment, his arms just hung useless at his sides. Then slowly he raised them and sighed, enfolding her. She didn't move for a long time, but then stepped back.

The look on her face was hard and determined and... angry.

“You have been and always will be the greatest man I have ever known. And the most loving, incredible father anyone could ever hope for!” She nearly yelled at him. And he blinked at her, lips parting slightly, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything. His heart was suddenly hurting, hearing all that. How anyone could see such good in him would always be beyond him. “And I know... I _know,_ ” she gripped his hand again, “That you are probably the only one who will ever be able to help that girl. And I don't just mean with her powers. Every one of us can do that. But you? You're the only one who can help her heal.” He looked away for a breath, then cleared his throat.

“Jesse,” he sighed out, “I don't know how to do that. I can't even heal myself.” Metaphorically speaking of course. His new healing abilities were quite the gift, to be sure. But that was not what either one of them were talking about. “It's always been you... and Cisco, and the others.” He urged, trying to get her to understand. “Forgiving me, accepting me, holding on to me.” He shook his head, “It was never my doing.”

“And what about us?” Jesse's voice cracked a little, he watched tears rim her eyes. “Who do you think has been holding on to us?” She let out a quick breath. “When everything falls apart, when we can't see up from down, it's you that keeps us straight. You're the one who takes it all on so we don't get weak. You're the one who makes us better.” She wiped at a tear that escaped. “Me and Cisco? We've both got our flaws and our faults, but you look right past them. You love us unconditionally.” She let her hand fall. “And that's exactly what Maggie needs right now. Someone who understands what it's like to be dark and damaged, someone who won't give up on her. Like you have never given up on me.” She moved back into him then, burying her face into his chest as he wrapped his arms back around her. He held her like that, for a long while, just silent, breathing, trying to come to terms with her words. 

“I'll try.” He finally whispered, and she sighed heavily. “That's all I can promise, Jesse.” She lifted her head, smiling softly up at him.

“That's all she needs.” She replied, then stood on tip toe and kissed his cheek before pulling herself away. “Look, I'll be here for a few days. I'll try to get through to her a bit. Okay?” He nodded with a small smile. Then watched her leave the room. For the first time all day, he was well and truly alone.

He rubbed his face with his hands for a moment before letting out a deep seated breath. He had no high hopes about this. Everything in him said he was no good for this kid, that he was the last person who should be helping her through anything. But he'd made a promise... to try.

As he went back to his work, he couldn't help but think, _'What the hell have I gotten myself into?'_

He'd get his answer soon enough.

* * *

They were standing side by side near the counter at CCJitters, waiting for their orders at 'pick up.' And Maggie was doing everything possible to drown out everyone and everything around her. Her earbuds were in, music loud enough that Harry could hear the tinging. But he didn't ask her to turn it down. He just watched her, quietly. Wondering. 

Jesse had left three days ago. And for the time that she'd been around, Maggie seemed to open up a little. Or at least to Jesse, she did. It was Jesse who discovered that Maggie was really a bright girl, and her grasp on mathematics was surprising and encouraging. With some real exposure, she could go far with that sort of skill. She was drawn to numbers like Cisco was drawn to engineering or Caitlin was drawn to biology. It came so naturally to her that she could do complex equations in her head nearly as fast as he could. That discovery offered something they could collaborate on. They'd spent nearly two hours with him testing her under the guise of friendly competition before he finally relented in taking her to Jitters for a 'frozen frappuccino'. Whatever the hell that was. He'd stick to good old fashioned coffee.

Being around Maggie was both familiar and strange. There were moments when she wasn't a complete monster of a person and they could get along. There were moments she reminded him very much of Jesse, innocent and young and willing to learn. And then there were just times she was probably the most recalcitrant person he'd ever laid eyes on. She yo-yoed back and forth as though she couldn't decide where her moods should settle. The strange part was why she was even bothering to be around him. With as much as they disagreed or argued or insulted one another, she should have wanted nothing to do with him. And yet, she'd become like his shadow. Everywhere he went, she wasn't far behind. It should have bugged the shit out of him. But he was actively attempting to remember his promise to Jesse. He was... reluctantly... trying.

“She feels safe around you.” _Cisco said, from where he was laying on the couch with his head in Harry's lap. He had his feet on the cushions, knees bent, flipping through a Science Now magazine while Harry watched the news. Maggie had long since retreated to her room, apparently not wanting to be anywhere near two even moderately affectionate adults. Harry looked down at Cisco, tapping his forehead once with the remote so he would look at him and not the magazine._

“Why the hell would you think that?” _He asked softly, watching Cisco's lips turn up into a small smile._

“Isn't it obvious? You challenge her without hurting her. You've become her reluctant Sensei, Master Wells.” _Ramon folded the magazine with a mock bow, which just looked awkward with him laying the way he was. It made Harry smile, just a little._

“You're an idiot.” _Harry said, but couldn't hide the affection in his voice. Cisco tossed the magazine onto the coffee table and sat up, scooting to sit directly against Harry's side. He curled his hand warmly around Harry's thigh as his husband wrapped his arm around his shoulders._

“Not this time, I'm not.” _He said easily_. “She sees you as a tall, cantankerous kindred spirit. I'd take that and run with it if I were you.”

“Between you and Jesse,” _He sighed softly,_ “I don't know who's worse.”

“Definitely me.” _Ramon chuckled,_ “But we're both right. Harry, you got this. Just don't over think it.”

“I don't over think.” _He groused a little, using the remote to shut the tv off. Cisco turned his head lazily to look at his profile and Harry closed his eyes a moment, enjoying the feel of Ramon's warmth against his side._ “She'd be a whole hell of a lot better off if she didn't take cues from me. I'm not exactly the poster child of a healthy adult.” _Ramon chuckled, or more like giggled at that. Then he stood, catching Harry's gaze as he opened his eyes to look up at him._

“No one would ever confuse you for the poster child of anything... except for maybe a Grumpy Cat calendar ripoff.” _Harry frowned, but took both of Cisco's hands when he held them out, standing as he tugged._ “Seriously, just take my word for it. And Jesse's. Maggie's got the right idea looking up to you. You'll see.”

“Uh huh.” _Was Harry's answer, Cisco shaking his head knowingly and dragging him to bed._

“Well looky here, if it's not Maggie King!” A male voice broke through his thoughts, as well as the sudden stunned expression on Maggie's face. 

For some reason, she backed up into him. And he instinctively put his hands on her shoulders, keeping her steady as he looked over her head to see a young man. He couldn't have been older than twenty. His head was shaved to bare stubble, he had tattoos all along his throat and arms, and a piercing in his nose. He wore ratty jeans and a sleeveless t-shirt with some obscure band name splashed across it. Which normally wouldn't have made Harry think twice. He could care less what people adorned themselves in. He knew scientists who dressed much the same but were incredibly intelligent.

What made Harry think twice about this young man was the look in his eyes. It was... possessive. And lying. Which was odd considering he hadn't said much yet that could even be considered a lie.

And then there was Maggie's fear. It was radiating from her, like an energy all its own. The sheer fact that she'd chosen to back into him for safety was proof enough for Harry that this young man was not a good one. The boy, which was how Harry was instantly choosing to think of him, glanced up at Harry with confusion.

“Find yourself a sugar-daddy, girly?” He asked, a very unfriendly smile on his face.

“Go away, Pete.” Maggie growled out then, crossing her arms over her chest. Even though she was still seething fear, she was steeling herself. Harry watched her expression change to determined and hard. And it almost made him want to smile.

“Aw, don't be like that. I was jus kiddin. How ya been, baby?” He asked, taking a small step forward. But before Maggie could answer, Harry pulled her back and stepped in front of her, blocking her entirely from the young man's view.

“Watch how you talk.” Harry said calmly, despite the sudden need to pummel this kid on Maggie's behalf. The boy looked up at him with distaste but forced a smile.

“Shit, touchy, ain't ya, old man.”

“Shut up, Pete. You're not supposed to be anywhere near me. Or should I call your parole officer and tell him you've been stalking underage girls again?” Maggie demanded, but didn't move from behind Harry. She did, however, cling to the back of his shirt with one hand. It was so terribly familiar to him, exactly what Jesse would have done.

“Ah, hell, Mag-pie. I was jus getting some ice coffee. Ain't no stalkin goin on.” He smiled again, and it was mischievous and mean. It made Maggie get even closer to Harry.

“You're a liar.” She nearly spat at him. And Harry watched Pete's whole expression change in a heartbeat to something distinctly cruel. He moved as though he were going to reach for her, or maybe point at her. Didn't matter. Harry took that as all the permission he needed.

He grabbed Pete's fingers and bent them all the way backward. The boy instantly cried out in pain, falling to his knees, gripping onto Harry's arm. But he didn't let go. Not even when people began to stop what they were doing to watch, or even when Maggie seemed to hesitate behind him. He bent over, just enough to look the boy in the face. 

“When I let you go, you're going to get up, and you're going to leave. And neither Maggie or I will ever see you again, or I will do far more than embarrass you in a room full of people.” His voice was a practiced calm, but the anger, the intent was there, in his tone, in his face. Pete just nodded hastily, wincing at the strong hold on his bent fingers.

When Harry finally let him go, Pete fell back onto his rear before scrambling to his feet and backing up, glancing around at all the eyes on him as he shook his hand out. Then he looked back at Maggie and Harry. 

“Be seein you, King.” He grated out, then pushed past two strangers and slammed his way out the door.

* * *

“You shouldn't have done that!” Maggie said, marching a speedy way down the hall toward the Cortex. Harry was keeping pace easily enough, his longer legs having no trouble with her shorter strides.

“Do what?” He asked casually, one hand in his pocket, the other cradling his hot coffee. She stopped so quick, then, that he nearly smacked right into her and had to raise his cup up above her head, gritting his teeth in annoyance. “Watch it.” He said almost harshly. But she frowned up at him, her cold drink in her hand.

“Pete's a bad guy. Not just some punk off the street. He sells drugs and he went to jail for stabbing someone! You can't just... ya know... pick on a guy like that and expect him not to get pissed about it. What if he comes after me now? Or you?” She rambled and Harry couldn't help the amusement. “It's not funny!” She practically yelled at him, turning on her heel to continue her hurried walk. He shook his head and followed.

“It is, actually. He is a punk, as you so eloquently put it. Nothing more.” When they entered the Cortex, he set his cup down, watching as she marched away from him, straw in her mouth, pacing back and forth in the empty space before the computers. “How do you know him, anyway?” He asked, pulling his sleeves up toward his elbows before sitting before a console. That question made her stop, lower her cup, glance sideways at him.

“I used to sell drugs for him, till he got arrested.” She looked away quickly, down at the floor, red coloring her cheeks in what he could only assume was shame. “There was this cop who got me to testify as a character witness against him. I got a restraining order after that. Pete was... very not happy with me.” She looked at Harry then, and her expression softened to surprise when she saw him sitting there calmly with his arms lazily crossed.

“Sounds like you did the right thing.” Apparently, that was not the answer she was expecting because she raised a brow, turning to look straight at him. 

“That's it? No questions about... about the drugs?” Harry shrugged a shoulder.

“Nope.” Her jaw just about dropped and she moved slowly toward the consoles. 

“Why?” He smiled slowly at her.

“That was the past. This is today. You're not that person anymore, correct?” She shook her head a bit at his question. “Then I don't need to know. Who you were then is of no interest to me.”

“So...” she cleared her throat a little, staring at him intently, “What does interest you?”

“Who you choose to be now.” He pushed his glasses a little higher up on his nose and turned his eyes to the computer, bringing up the series of equations they'd been working on before they left for coffee. “Being here, being... a part of this team and this life,” He looked back at her, “I've learned that there's no sense in punishing my future for my past mistakes.” He pulled out the chair beside him and motioned to it. She moved slowly, peeling her bag off and setting it aside, putting her drink down.

“How do you do that? I mean...” She swallowed, looking at the equations on the computer screen, “The past is all I've got.” She refused to look at him now. And for a moment, it was very quiet in the room. He could feel her heartache, see it even. It reminded him so very much of his own.

“By forgiving yourself. The past is part of your history, so grow from it. But then,” he reached forward and carefully touched her chin, turning her face toward him and letting his hand fall, “Let it all go.” She blinked at him and, for a moment, looked entirely disbelieving of what he was saying. And that bothered him. A lot. Was this what it felt like for Cisco and Jesse when he didn't believe them? He sighed deeply, letting it out slow. “We all make mistakes, Maggie. We all regret things that we've done. But once you realize that you are not your past, you'll figure out who it is you really want to be. And I don't think that is a girl stuck in place.”

He looked away, hitting the enter key and making a new, harder equation appear. It was quiet again, and she had turned her eyes to what was before her, hovering her hands over her keyboard. But before she did anything, she cleared her throat a little. 

“Thanks, Harry... for... for everything.” She muttered, then began typing as though the math before her was far more important than anything they'd just talked about.

Harry gave a sideways smile, picking up his coffee and taking a long sip. Maybe Cisco and Jesse were right after all...

* * *

He was beginning to think that the idea he was actually getting through to Maggie had all been in everyone's heads, because even though only three days ago they were getting along and enjoying some heavy math, he was now standing in the hallway of their apartment building, staring at the shock on Maggie's face when the electricity she'd thrown at him had literally done nothing to him.

Yep, she'd used her powers against him. Of course, she had no way of knowing they wouldn't affect him in the slightest. But the sheer fact that she let them loose in a public area, and at someone who was trying to help her, made him so angry that he could hardly think straight.

He grit his teeth, taking three quick steps toward her and grabbed her hard by the arm, not caring if he left a bruise, yanking her into the apartment and slamming the door solidly behind him before letting her go so quickly that she nearly fell over. 

"What the hell was that?!" He demanded in a yell, closing in on her. For the first time since they'd met, she looked well and truly afraid. Of _him_. All her bravado, all her acting like she was better than everyone else, suddenly didn't exist.

This whole situation had started because he'd told her for about the millionth time to clean up her mess in her room, only to get yelled at, which in turn made him yell at her. He completely lost his temper, completely done with her shit, getting right up in her face, and she'd reacted like he was going to hit her. Which, honestly, he couldn't blame her for. When he was angry, he was frightening. And he knew it. She'd seen what he could do when he was calm. He could only imagine what she'd thought he could do when angry. He wouldn't have hit her, though. Not ever, no matter what shit she decided to pull. But she didn't know that. How could she? She'd ran out of the apartment, and he'd gone after her only to have her lash out instinctively.

Now, she swallowed hard, backpedaling, back flattening against the refrigerator. He just kept moving, angry and well aware that he was scaring her half to death. But at the moment, he didn't care. 

"You _ever_ do something like that again, I will lock you in the Pipeline and throw away the key. Do you understand me?! You're not a child! Your powers _will_ hurt people! And I will _not_ let that happen!" He hissed out at her. "I will stop you." What if she'd done that to Cisco, or Caitlin? She could have hurt them badly. Her powers were no small thing. He watched her face turn to steel, water rimming her hazel hues. She went to move away and he slapped his hand to the refrigerator, blocking her way, making her drop her bag in surprise as he raised his finger toward her. But he didn't say anything. The motion seemed to be enough. He let both hands fall, stepping back and out of her space, turning and running a hand through his hair in frustration.

"Why am I here?" She suddenly choked out, tears fleeting down her cheeks. "Huh? Tell me!" She yelled at him, half in a sob. "If I'm so dangerous, if I'm such a pain, why don't you just get rid of me like everyone else has, huh?! Why bother teaching me math or letting me live here, why even bother dragging me back in here?!" He had to look at her at that, standing slightly sideways. And for the first time, she didn't look like some obnoxious kid who wanted nothing more than to be a pain in the ass. For the first time she just looked like a sad, broken little girl. Frail and innocent and tired. He let his hand fall, turning completely to look at her.

So... that was what this was all about?

All the bad mouthing and disobeying. All the yelling and temper tantrums. She wasn't just trying to be a brat. She wasn't just trying to push boundaries. She was actively expecting them to give up on her like everyone she had ever known had. And that thought alone was... heartbreaking. It took all the fight out of him. All his anger just vanished, and he shook his head lightly, his expression softening considerably.

"I'm not everyone else." He countered easily, "We aren't." He watched her lip quivering as she tried to keep her emotions in check, her brows furrowing slightly in confusion. "Maggie," he sighed gently, and looked away. "We don't give up on family." He said, looking down at her bag on the floor, full of colorful patches of her favorite bands and books and comic book heroes. He stepped forward, picking it up, holding the weight of it in his hands, making the sound of coins jingling against fabric. _'Maybe if you'd open up to her a bit, she might just come around.'_ Caitlin had said once. That woman was always right... might as well give it a shot. 

"When I first came here, no one on the team had any reason to want me around, or to trust me. I was wearing the face of evil. And I did... terrible things. To them, to others." He held the bag out to her then, watching as she took it, her short, chipped, green polish covered fingernails curling into the patches, "But they took a chance on me, forgave me because that's who they are. They saved me, and they make me better. Every day." He slipped his hands into his pockets, taking two steps back away from her, giving her space as she hugged her bag to herself. "You've been through hell, done things you're not proud of. We all have. But you can come back from it. It doesn't make you... bad, or evil, or whatever you think you are. You can have a better life... here, with us. If you want it."

She blinked at him, tears still flowing freely despite not making a sound. But then her expression crumpled, and she lowered her face, sobbing softly. Every instinct told him to go to her like he would have to Jesse, to hold her, to give her the comfort she'd never been allowed. But before he even had a chance to entertain the idea, Maggie practically tossed her bag away and ran to him, pushing her face into his chest and wrapping her arms around him, her fingers digging into his shirt. 

For a moment, he was frozen. Unsure. But then he tightened his arms around her, safely, firmly. And she cried.

Years of pain and abuse and guilt and sorrow ran down her cheeks in droves. And he held her through it, feeling his own eyes sting, because he knew what that was like. Maybe not everything, but he knew. Pain like that was horrible and hollow and filled up so much space with emptiness. A little girl, which was what she never got to be, shouldn't have had that sort of life. So he let her cry, because that was how she'd heal. Or start to. Even when Maggie's knees failed her, Harry held her. Even when his shirt was pretty much patched in her tears, he held her. 

Fifteen minutes later, they were sitting companionably side by side on the floor with their backs to the wall. She couldn't get any more pain out. Which was fine. She'd done more than enough of that for one day.

The silence was comfortable, then. And there was something familiar about how she was sitting so close to him, as at ease at his side as Jesse always was. There was also this feeling, like all the unsteady things between them had been made more solid. All her distrust, all her wariness of him seemed completely gone. It felt like a turning point, a new beginning. Harry wasn't entirely sure why that was, but he wasn't about to question it. She didn't need that from him. What she needed was a father figure. And, if she'd let him, he could definitely be that. He'd never be her Dad. She was too old for something like that now. But he could give her a home, guide her, teach her, help her figure out what would become of the rest of her life.

"How..." he heard her softly say from beside him then, breaking his thoughts, "How did you do that?" She forced herself to ask. He glanced at her, pulling his glasses off and setting them aside. He raised a brow, studying her flushed and tired features, her slightly messy hair.

"Do what?" He countered quietly, watching as she stopped picking idly at a stray string on her bag, which was now resting in her lap. She lifted a hand, reaching toward him. Her fingers were shaking lightly, and she was staring at his face as if she expected him to stop her. But when he didn't, she poked one finger into his chest. He saw sparks and electricity, a harmless amount, spiral out of her hand. But again, nothing happened to him. And she snatched her hand back, hugging it to herself like she'd been bit.

"That." She said, eyes slightly wide now. "How come I can't hurt you?"

Ah. That.

He looked forward again, resting his head back against the wall. 

"I'm not a meta, if that's what you're wondering. I'm just... different. From everyone else."

"Different." She reiterated. "That's not really an answer, ya know." She went back to picking at the thread. And he gave a small smile.

"You're right, it's not. Honestly, I'm not sure why. I went through a change about three months before we met you. I was... stranded on another Earth. A wasteland of sorts. The water there did something to me." He had no problem telling her this, really. She'd learned quite a bit about the multiverse in her short time among them. "And now no meta powers can affect me. We've tried to figure out why. But we can't really explain it. So..." He sighed a little, "On Ramon's constant urging, I just accept it now." She smiled sheepishly at that.

"Why do you call him Ramon?" She asked, pushing up from the floor then and putting her bag on the counter before turning to look at him.

"That's his name." He stated, as though it was annoyingly obvious. She laughed at that. And it was a real laugh. Something he had not ever heard from her. And the affect was surprising. It made him smile brightly. "Why is that funny?"

"I know it's his name, dummy." She stated, moving toward him and holding a hand out to help him stand, also surprising. He glanced at her outstretched fingers, then took her much smaller hand in his even though he didn't need to. Once he was on his feet, he let her go. "But he's your husband. I've never heard you call him like... a pet name, like sweety or pumpkin, and you hardly ever call him Cisco."

"Sweety or pumpkin." He said in amusement. "I would rather cut my tongue out." She grinned at that.

"Ya know, at first," She cleared her throat a little, wandering toward the living room area. He followed quietly, "I thought you two were a really weird couple." She flopped down on the recliner, starting to pull her feet up but stopping and kicking her sneakers off before tucking her feet beneath her. He raised a brow at that. It was the first time she'd kept her shoes off the furniture. "Like, you're total opposites. You're a sour pickle and he's like ice cream." Harry narrowed his gaze at her, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. He sat down on the couch, stretching one arm over the back of it. 

"And now?" He asked, choosing to ignore the colorful metaphor. She pulled her hands into the sleeves of her hoody and shrugged, looking at him.

"Now I get it. Took me some time, but I figured it out. You guys balance each other out. Like... you keep each other grounded. You enjoy your differences. It's..." she looked down at her hidden hands in her lap, "It's nice." He smiled gently at that.

"It wasn't always that way. We couldn't stand each other at first. I looked like someone he hated, and he was just an annoyance I had no choice but to interact with." He didn't mind saying it. It was the truth, after all. Maggie knew about Thawne, about how he was the Wells that had caused her meta abilities. She was a lot smarter than she let people think. She took information in, processed it, and worked easily with it. Though she always demanded some sort of proof to back up what people said, ever suspicious of everyone. No one could blame her for that.

"What changed?" She watched his face quietly after that. It almost felt like he was having this conversation with someone he didn't know. Because Maggie had never been so pointedly curious about him or Cisco or anyone. Or, at least not out loud. Had a fight and a good cry really changed her opinion of him that much?

"Time." He responded. "One day, I looked at him and realized... well," he let his hand fall from the back of the couch to the cushion at his side, "Everything that annoyed me at first I'd begun to appreciate. We fought all the time, but we always came back to the middle. Always seemed to find a way, even unconsciously, to make our differences work for us. And before I knew it had happened, he was..." he narrowed his gaze at the floorboards, trying to think of the right wording, "He was irreplaceable."

"Do you think..." she paused, refusing to meet his gaze as he looked back at her. And for a moment, he swore she looked shy. "Maybe, do you think in time... you guys could make room for me?" He raised both brows slowly, a little stunned at that.

"We already have. It's over there." He stated plainly, trying to keep the mood light as he motioned to her bedroom. She smirked a little, shaking her head.

"God, you're impossible." She answered. "I mean, on the team, in your fam-" But he held a hand up, silencing her. He watched her features grow uncertain, but he smiled softly.

"We already have, Maggie. This is your home. We're all your family. For as long as you want us to be."

"But..." she furrowed her brows, then sighed out of her nostrils, "Even after everything I've done?"

"And what exactly do you think you've done?" He demanded softly, "Except act according to the life you've become accustomed to?" She didn't answer, she just looked down, as though shame was staring at her and not Harry. "That was then." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs and folding his hands together. "This is now."

"But I attacked you."

"Yeah, and I scared you into it."

They locked stares then, and it was like a strange battle of wills. As though she were waiting to see if he'd take it all back. As though he were waiting to see if she'd let herself accept what he considered truth. Then she blinked and swallowed, shifting in her chair slightly.

"So... that's it. You're just gonna forgive me." It was almost a question, half incredulous.

"Yep." He confirmed. "Because Cisco and the others, they did that for me. And it changed my life. Might as well keep that going with you." She smiled a little.

"Might as well?" She asked, then chuckled a little. "How'd you ever raise a kid?" She quipped, and he just shook his head.

"One mistake at a time. How she turned out so well is beyond my understanding." She smiled a little brighter at that.

"Not mine. I think you're such a great dad because... you never give up."

Her response silenced them both until she laughed and shook her head.

"Wow. We both got really sappy."

"That happens a lot around here, apparently. It's practically an epidemic." He straightened up then and stood. "Better get used to it." Then he narrowed his gaze on her. "After you clean your room." She laughed brightly, warmly, making him smile one of those real smiles that very few ever got to see.

"Yes, sir!" She gave him a mock salute. But to his great surprise, she got up and moved toward her room. Only she paused, turned and hugged him once quickly before stepping back. "Thanks, Harry." She said softly, then hurried to her room, disappearing behind her closed door.

He wasn't sure how long he'd stood there. Long enough at least for her to play a full song by Paramore, a group she apparently liked a great deal. The team seemed to be changing all the time. From fighting metas to saving each other to growing as people. And he and Cisco had their fair share of changes, too. 

He let his eyes linger on her door for a moment longer before he cleared his throat and moved toward the kitchen. This wasn't something he could have ever predicted. Maggie was fifteen so it wasn't exactly like he'd be raising another kid. But for a moment, that was exactly what it felt like he'd be doing. Or they, more precisely. Cisco and Harry as a couple, the team as a whole. She had an instant family, and not one that would neglect her or abuse her, either. That in itself would be a huge change for her. But for Harry? Did he really have it in him anymore?

He stopped at the sink, filling up the kettle, needing something hot to drink. Something warm in his hands.

Did he really have the patience anymore to guide a young person into adulthood? And it was definitely more than that. She'd have to be taught how to use her powers properly, she'd have to catch up on school, she'd have to really learn that she couldn't just do whatever the hell she wanted. She had a lot of bad memories to work through, and a lot of life lessons to catch up on. But could he really give her the sort of understanding she needed?

Somehow today they'd found a starting point, a leg to stand on. He'd finally stepped back long enough to realize just what it was that made her so belligerent all the time. He'd gotten through that armor of hers when no one else seemed able. Maybe that was proof enough that he could help her. And maybe it was proof that he was changing yet again, though not physically.

It reminded him so much of a Louis Carroll quote. 'I knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then.'

“You look happy.” Cisco said with a smile as he came in, closing the door easily behind him and tossing his keys down on the counter. “Not that I'm complaining.” He leaned against the counter, hands folded, his body half bent as he watched Harry curiously. “But why for?” Harry raised his cup of tea to his lips, pausing momentarily. 

“She's cleaning her room.” He answered, taking a slow sip. Ramon's brows shot up, and he glanced at Maggie's closed door.

“Seriously?” He stood up straight, moving to Harry's side. “How'd you manage that?”

“I scared her. She attacked me. I scared her some more. We talked. She cried. We talked more. And now she's cleaning.” He explained plainly, finding it completely satisfying to watch Cisco's mouth drop open.

“Come again?!” Ramon blurted in surprise, moving to stand in front of him. Harry just reached forward, running his fingers through Cisco's wind tussled hair.

“Progress, Ramon. We've made progress.”

Cisco raised a single brow, stepping a little further into Harry, pressing their hips together. Harry set his mug down, resting his hands on Cisco's lower back, slightly on his rear. 

“I know you enjoy torturing me with confusion, but you think you could elaborate a little?” Ramon smiled, just enough. And Harry sighed at him before covering his mouth with his own. He would answer, in a minute. But for now, he was content. And he wanted to let that contentedness spread to Cisco. There was always something perfectly settling about kissing Ramon. Harry found his lips to be plump and soft, perfectly and deliciously kissable. And the way Cisco's whole mouth worked in tandem with his own never got old. When the kiss ended, and Harry pulled back, Cisco was just stuck leaning there against him, eyes closed, lips slightly parted before he swallowed. “What we were talking about?” He asked, opening his chocolate hues. And Harry laughed comfortably as he hugged him completely against his frame.

“Aw, you guys are so cute!” Maggie said mockingly as she carried a full laundry basket out of her room, resting it against her hip and grinning ridiculously. Cisco glanced at her, turning slightly in Harry's arms.

“You really are cleaning your room.” He said in near disbelief. Maggie shrugged.

“Miracles do happen, Cisco.” She moved toward the door, reaching forward and opening it. “Be back soon, lovebirds.” And she disappeared into the hall, the door closing slowly behind her. Harry wasn't even annoyed when it didn't latch. And when he saw Cisco staring at him, he just smiled.

“Okay, so... I leave for one hour, and the whole world goes bonkers. Did Barry mess with the timeline again?” He stepped back, narrowing his gaze, “Are you really my Harry?” At that, Harry just grabbed his tea and moved toward the living room area. 

“You're an idiot, Ramon.” He said over his shoulder, Cisco's chuckle meeting his ears.

Progress was a good thing. It really was. It had to be. For Maggie's sake. Harry had no idea what the future held, or if this would all really work out. There was bound to be a myriad of hurdles to get over. But for the first time since he'd found himself in this particular situation, he had a feeling... a meta named Maggie might just be what they all needed in their lives after all...


	27. Remind Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie finally feels like she's found her place among the team, and in Harry and Cisco's life. But the past is never far behind, rearing its ugly head in the form of secrets and a loaded gun. An encounter with Pete proves to her that she can't outrun what she's done, but Harry surprises her with a promise for her future. Maybe there's hope for this broken girl after all...

'I can't think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection.' - Freud

* * *

“Dude, give it back!” Cisco blurted loudly, jumping up and down and trying to get his phone away from the much faster Barry. “That's so cheating, you jackass!” He growled out, nudging the speedster in the ribs and making him drop the phone. It was Harry who caught it, appearing seemingly out of nowhere and catching the device with one hand, the other balancing a coffee in the air over both shorter men.

“Allen?” Harry questioned, turning the phone in his hand and then holding it out to Cisco who took it, sticking his tongue out at Barry.

“Aw, come on.” Barry nearly whined, but grinned. “You do know what he's been doing with that thing, right?”

“No!” Cisco reached forward and planted his hand over Barry's mouth. “Not another word!” But Barry sped behind Harry, hiding from Cisco's meager attempts to silence him.

“He's editing pictures of all of us, to see what we'd look like as the opposite sex.” Barry was grinning devilishly. And Harry just raised a brow. “He did two of you, Harry.” Allen added and Harry reached up and pulled his glasses off, narrowing his gaze at Cisco without a word.

“It's an app I found that can do everything from age progression to sex reversal.” Cisco grinned, then swallowed a little. “I... got bored?” Cisco attempted to appease, but when he saw Harry's signature glare, he cleared his throat and stepped back. “I'll delete them.” And he went to work, making Barry laugh and step away.

“Hey Harry, you give any more thought to Maggie's education situation?” Allen asked, pressing a few keys before he got back onto the speed treadmill. They were doing their monthly assessment on his abilities. He began running, picking up speed gradually as Harry settled back into his chair, his fresh coffee set before him. Eventually Cisco sat down beside him, showing Harry the now empty folder all the pics had been in, then set his phone down with a 'hrmph' as data began to correlate on the screens before them.

“Tell me again why I'm the one who has to decide this?” He asked, stretching his arm out comfortably behind the pouting Ramon, resting his hand on his husband's shoulder. “I'm not her father.”

“About that....” Caitlin said, stepping into the room with her tablet in hand, stylus in the other. “Seeing as Joe got you guys temporary foster status, why don't you two just... ya know... adopt her?” She tapped something on the screen, leaning her hip against the wall behind them. Harry craned his neck, turning slightly to look at her.

“You're serious.” He said after a moment, catching her twinkling gaze as she smiled softly.

“Why not? She's doing really well since she's been with you guys, and she's come a long way with learning how to control her powers in the last five months. She's really finding her place around here.” Caitlin moved then to sit beside Cisco, who was staring at the screen, his eyes roaming the information thoughtfully. Though Harry had a feeling it wasn't the data feed he was thinking about it. “Harry, she's a good kid.”

“I didn't say she wasn't.” He rumbled lightly, pulling his hand away from Cisco and crossing his arms over his chest as he attempted to ignore Caitlin's stare. Truth was, Maggie was a very good kid. Once she and Harry had found a way to get through their initial distrust and hesitation toward each other, she turned out to be a very intelligent, caring and funny young lady. She had a sarcastic streak for miles, which meant she got along great with Cisco. And even though Barry and Caitlin were the ones who were mostly helping her learn to control and use her powers, she seemed to enjoy Harry's company more, oddly enough. 

More often than not, he was the one she went to for advice or unanswered questions. He was the one who had in-depth conversations with her about her fractured past and her progress toward a better future. It was him and Cisco who consoled her when she woke screaming at night, it was him and Cisco who shared breakfasts and dinners with her. In the moderately short amount of time they'd known each other, he had admittedly grown quite fond of the fifteen year old. Which was surprising, to say the least.

“Then what's with the hesitation?” Barry asked when the timer went off and he hopped off the treadmill, walking over to them and looking from Cisco to Harry. “I mean, it makes sense. You guys are the closest thing she's ever had to real parents. She trusts you and I'm pretty certain she wouldn't have come so far without you. Either of you.”

Harry could feel Cisco's eyes on him, then, the chocolate hues boring holes into his brain with everything he wasn't saying. Harry glanced at him, which was a mistake. Because Cisco took that as permission to voice what he was thinking.

“Actually, it's not a bad idea. If we adopt her, she could go back to school, we could make sure she gets the education she needs and this way, if something happens, she has a legal family to fall back on.” He said easily. Too easily. Harry clenched his jaws, the muscles tightening in his cheeks. Then he quietly reached forward, grabbing the coffee and pushing his chair back.

“No.” Was his answer. And to make it final, he stood up. “Don't ask again.” And he left the room. He could almost hear the collective confusion bubbling off the three as he disappeared back into the cortex. He didn't stop walking till he was well past it, far down the hall, heading toward the breach room. He set his mug down, moving down the metal steps to the center of the mostly empty room. And he just stopped there, clenching his hands open and closed randomly as he focused on breathing. Minutes ticked by, along with his thoughts.

He couldn't adopt Maggie.

It wasn't that he didn't care for the girl. And he was certain Jesse would be thrilled at the idea, considering she had fallen into a big sister role instantly with Maggie. He was also sure that Cisco would be a great parent. He had this way about him, a way of being real with kids that made them gravitate to him, no matter the age. He treated them with respect and humility and could get even the most distraught child to bust out in laughter. Ramon just had that great of a heart.

It also wasn't about Maggie, not really. 

Caitlin had been correct when she'd said that the girl had come a long way, not just with her powers. She was nearly a different person from the pain in the ass kid who'd showed up on the doorstep of S.T.A.R. Labs demanding that the Flash help her. It was almost like she was doing everything possible now to erase that girl from existence and create herself anew. No one could blame her for that. The life she'd come from had been hell, and the memories attached to it still gave her nightmares. Something he could relate to. Every day, though, she was getting more confident, stronger, happier. She seemed to be growing far surer of her new place in the world, and no longer questioned the good that came her way.

No, the real problem here was just Harry.

Raising Jesse alone had been terrifying. And though he wouldn't be alone with Maggie, knowing all the mistakes he'd made, all the bad choices and the terrible example of a person he believed himself to have been, he was equally as terrified at the thought of putting Maggie through the same thing. Yes, she was fifteen and had a mind and thought process all her own. He'd only be able to do so much damage, after all. But she'd already been through hell. The last thing he wanted was to add to her pain, in any way.

It was true that he was already in a mentoring role with her. But the more days that stretched on, he could no longer let himself think that it was a 'father' role, like he'd tried to do in the beginning. Because it always came down to what she'd already been through, and what having him for a father would do to her. Jesse always tried to get him to think otherwise, and there were moments where her love was so intense and final that he found himself daring to believe the great things she had to say. But then he was brought back to the years of him drowning himself in work, the selfishness that lead to him creating the metas on his Earth, the terrible mistakes that landed her in Zoom's clutches. It was a culmination of things that he had come to terms with but would never quite forgive himself for. No matter what she said.

“I know that look.” He heard Joe's voice, and he turned to see the Detective standing with his tie half undone, his hands in his pockets, watching Harry with a calm expression. “It's the same one I made when I accidentally threw out Iris' favorite bedtime story when she was four.” He stepped down toward Harry. “Or when I yelled at Barry when he was thirteen for breaking the window on my car when it was actually the brat up the block.” He took a hand out of his pocket, motioning at Harry. “It's the look of parental shame.”

Harry raised a brow, slowly crossing his arms over his chest. It was rare that he and Joe had much in the way of heavy conversations. Sure, they talked. But it was mostly about the meta of the week or something Barry had done to annoy them both. He shrugged one shoulder, however, letting out a deep breath.

“I wasn't aware it was a common affliction.” Harry responded lightly, but the tension was there in his voice, his face. Joe smirked, slipping his hand back into his pocket.

“Oh, trust me... every good parent gets that look at least a hundred times a year, no matter how old the kids get.” Joe said, then nodded in Harry's direction. “So, what do you think you did this time?”

“What do I...” Harry repeated but then shook his head. “Nothing... recent.” Joe nodded knowingly at that.

“Thinking back on past mistakes?”

Harry nodded, shifting on his feet slightly.

“You do realize that doesn't do much good, right?” Joe continued. Harry just kept quiet, knowing the Detective was headed somewhere with this. “When Jesse was Zoom's captive, you made mistakes. You did bad and wrong things. But for the right reasons.” He paced a little, looking over at the breach platform. “When we had you locked up, Barry was the one who convinced us to help you. What he said really struck a chord with me because for a moment there, I really could imagine it.”

“Imagine what?”

“What I would have done... if it had been any of my kids. The lengths I would have gone to, the mistakes I would have easily made.” Joe said, looking back at Harry. “That's the thing about being a parent. We don't make mistakes because we don't care. We make mistakes because we care more than enough. We never get to be the kind of parents we want to be. But that just makes us human. And it teaches our kids that mistakes are just... a part of life. More than that, it also teaches them how to handle those mistakes. And you've made up for yours a hundred times over.” He turned completely then, facing Harry, reaching out and gripping his shoulder companionably. “You're a good father, Harry. Whatever else you might think you are, don't doubt that.” He let his hand fall. “Jesse doesn't. And... neither does Maggie.” Harry felt his brows instantly furrow. 

“She's not my...” He stopped himself, sighing and letting his arms fall. “Caitlin told you her idea, didn't she.” He stated. Joe just smiled and nodded.

“It's a good idea.” Harry let out a frustrated sigh. 

“What she needs-” But Joe interrupted him.

“What she needs,” He said, pointing an almost accusing finger at Harry, “Is the one person who was able to get through to her. She needs this team, this family.” He motioned idly around them, “And she needs to know that no matter who she was, what she did, where she came from, that the people she's closest to now will love her unconditionally.” He let his hand fall. “Like a parent would.” He took a step back. “Like you can, Harry.” And then he turned toward the steps, walking away. “Think about it. Then talk to her.” He said, stopping just in the doorway. “Because, the truth is... it isn't about you or what you think. It's just about her, and what she wants...” Joe gave Harry one more look, “A home.” And then he disappeared, leaving Harry standing once again in silence. Only far more stunned.

He stood there, staring at the doorway, for far too long. How stupid was it that it hadn't occurred to him that Maggie might actually want him and Cisco for her family? All the signs were there, practically in giant neon lights. And he could kick himself for not seeing it sooner. He was momentarily grateful to Joe and his own brand of wisdom. And he was also worried.

Because now he was seriously considering this.

Because it wasn't about him.

Any adult who put their own wants and needs above a child didn't deserve their affection. And it was clear that all of them, Harry included, had Maggie's affection.

And maybe that meant far more than he'd previously counted on...

* * *

She was beginning to really love differential equations. 

The plug and chunk of the system seemed to work well with her brain. Plugging the answers in came as naturally as reciting her ABC's. And it didn't just end there. Harry was throwing every type of mathematics at her that he possibly could, to see where her strengths really settled. It was all over the place, really. Geometry topology, algebra, complex analysis, real analysis, math logic like Godel's Theorems and learning recursion theory, and so much more. There was nothing Harry was leaving out, it seemed. And the oddest part about it all was she didn't even mind. She was enjoying every minute of it. Even the part about it all that meant she had to spend long hours with the tall, bad-tempered scientist.

Despite his tendency to push her hard, and sometimes lose his temper, he was an incredibly thorough and intuitive teacher. He seemed to be able to pick up on the exact ways to help her to an answer, to encourage her to find the ways herself, to keep her from getting frustrated or just give up. Never in any class with any teacher had she ever had such one on one guidance, and at first she thought that was what was making all the difference. But as time went on, she realized that it was just Harry. Never once did he make it seem like she couldn't do it. He only really lost his temper when she used the word 'can't'. 

_'You tell me you can't, and I'll make you work twice as hard to prove you can.'_ He'd said during one of her lack of confidence moments. And he meant every word. He pushed her so hard that she thought she was going to scream. Until finally the answers came to her, and she realized that he'd been right all along. Right about her.

She'd never had anyone believe in her this much.

It wasn't just Harry, either. Cisco was incredible. He was so patient with her during her lessons with her powers. She'd practically destroyed an entire room in the labs because she was having a hard time really focusing her power like they were trying to show her. When she'd accidentally struck Cisco in the shoulder, she thought for sure that was it. She thought Cisco would never trust her and Harry would hate her. But when that didn't happen, she burst into tears. After Harry healed him, which was a thing she was still trying to wrap her head around, Cisco just hugged her and said, _'Let's give it another try.'_ And Harry, well... he just nudged her and said, _'Next time aim for his head. You might just fix him.'_ The result was Cisco glaring and everyone else laughing. It was one moment on a list she'd begun to keep of all the times she finally felt safe, happy even.... and home.

Never in a million years did she ever imagine good people like this existed.

Since her mother died, a woman she barely remembered as it was, her life had been one foster home after another. One disaster to the next. She lived her life in moments because she'd been sure at a young age that the next probably wouldn't come. After she got her powers, it only got worse. She was scared senseless that if anyone discovered what she could do, they'd lock her up and throw away the key. So she did everything she could to keep that part of herself hidden, actively seeking to stifle it. Which sometimes ended up being a terrible idea. Every now and then, her emotions would override her control and all that pent up energy would just explode from her. Which was why her most recent foster father had died.

She tried not to feel bad about that. The guy had been trying to molest her, after all. But the guilt of taking another life had followed her around for months. It wasn't till she talked to Harry about it that it began to ease up, let her breathe. 

_'You have every right to defend your life, your worth, yourself.'_ He'd said, _'The moment you use your gifts to hurt someone for any other reason is the moment you become the monster. And that's not who you are, Maggie.'_ The fact that he even thought that struck a chord with her, considering she'd lashed out at him. Of course, it hadn't hurt him. But she hadn't known then that it couldn't. Learning to control her instincts, her emotions and her powers in combination was turning out to be far tougher than anything she'd ever done. But, as Barry pointed out once or twice, she was learning. It didn't matter how fast she picked it up, just that she did. And knowing that eventually she would have control over this very tumultuous aspect of her life was a great motivator.

For now life was good. Hell, it was amazing. Compared to every other day of her existence, she'd never felt so free and alive. And it was strange, because it was like everything up till now hadn't even been real. Like it was all just one giant nightmare and now she was waking up from it. It was... liberating.

And yet...

There were always reminders.

One of which was staring her and Harry and Cisco in the face.

“So this is where you've been, huh?” Pete said, leaning up against Cisco's car in the parking lot of S.T.A.R. Labs. The moment he'd appeared seemingly out of nowhere, Harry had placed himself directly in front of her, shielding her with his body. She was peering around his side, and Cisco was standing directly next to him. Both had taken up a protective position, and if she didn't feel so suddenly on edge, she might have had the sense to find it endearing. How Pete had found her was beyond her, and completely disconcerting. She knew why he was here. It was more than just his fascination with her. Despite the age difference, he'd been attracted to her from the start. And at first, she'd found it wonderful. It was the sort of attention she never got. And she'd thought she'd been in love with him. But the first time he hit her, she realized how stupid that had all been. It all came together for her after that, how he'd used her youth and relative innocence simply to help him sell his drugs.

But not even that was why he was here. No... it was something else. Something she hadn't told Harry or Cisco or anyone about. And the fear that now this secret was about to be revealed was eating her alive. 

“Go away, Pete!” She yelled at him. But he didn't even flinch. He just narrowed his eyes on her.

“Ya know, it took time to figure out what you've been up to. I mean,” he pushed himself off the car, “You've been busy. Totally erased yourself from the life, but you know me... dog with a bone and all that.” He grinned, pulling his hands out of his pockets.

“That's far enough.” Harry grated out, she could feel the tension flowing off him in droves.

“And what are you gonna do about it, old man?” Pete chuckled. And Harry took a step forward, only stopping when both Cisco and Maggie grabbed his arms. That made Pete laugh.

“So that's it, huh? Found yourself a new family, Mag-pie? Never pictured you as the type to settle in with a couple of fag boys, but,” he shrugged a shoulder, “To each their own, right?”

“That's enough!” She yelled, coming more into view, though Harry put an arm across to keep her from going further.

“It's enough when I say it's enough.” Pete said, reaching behind him as his face went cold and cruel, pulling out a gun. All three of them stiffened as he aimed it directly at them. Cisco didn't have his goggles. Well, he did, but they were in his bag and there was no way he'd be able to get to them quickly now. He clenched his hands into fists, as though he was willing himself to vibe without them. Maggie stiffened in fear, useless. Guns were something she could never warm up to. When she was thirteen, she'd seen another kid's head blown to bits and ever since then, she had an unnatural fear toward guns of any kind. So much so, she was frozen in place now because of it. It was Harry, which was no surprise, who took a step forward, completely blocking her from view and pushing Cisco slightly behind him.

They both knew he would heal if he was shot. But that didn't mean he was invincible. Her fear for herself suddenly bubbled into fear for Harry. And she could see her fear mirrored in Cisco's face. But Harry put his hands out, showing them empty. And he spoke very calmly, which surprised them all. Even Pete, who raised a brow.

“Whatever you think you're going to do, believe me when I tell you it will not end up like you're hoping.” Harry explained easily, letting his hands fall back to his sides. Cisco took the opportunity to reach into his pocket and pull out his cell phone, pressing the panic button that would go to Barry's phone and the labs, as well as Caitlin's and Joe's phones.

“Wow...” Pete said, grinning a little, “I mean, seriously, dude. She's got you all sorts of convinced, doesn't she?” He took a step to the side, motioning the gun at them, “What'd she say to make you so protective of her, huh? She ain't who you think she is.” Maggie felt her throat clench, felt her heart race. She felt Cisco's hand on her arm, pulling her closer. 

“Pete, don't... please, don't...” she choked out, tears welling up in her eyes as panic set in. She saw Harry glance over his shoulder at her, but then he just turned his eyes back to Pete.

“Little Miss Maggie King is a killer. She tell you that?” Pete aimed the gun a little more readily at Harry. “And I ain't just talkin bout what happened to her pedo foster dad.”

“Pete!” She cried out, moving forward and grabbing Harry's jacket with a sob. She could only imagine what Harry's face looked like, or Cisco's. She couldn't bring herself to see.

“That's right... she killed an innocent old lady. Zapped her car, flipped it like a pancake. Damn thing went flying off a bridge. That granny didn't stand a chance!” He laughed, and the sound was like nails on a chalkboard to her. Harry's whole body stiffened. “There it is.” Pete said calmly then. And he lowered his gun. “Here's what's gonna happen, Mag. When these gay dads of yours decide you're not worth the trouble, you come find me. And bring me my money. Every last cent. I'll give you a week. And if you don't?” He tilted his head, lifting the gun one more time, “Well, I'll do worse than this.”

The sound of the gunshot was a terrible, horrendous rumble in her ears. The feel of Harry's body moving back into her was frightening. She and Cisco both grabbed onto him as he growled out, clinging to his left shoulder with the opposite hand. And just like he'd appeared, Pete was simply gone. And Barry was suddenly there. 

“Harry!” he blurted out, “What the hell happened?!” He demanded, looking confused as Harry sunk to his knees in pain. Cisco had moved in front of him, shoving Harry's hand out of the way to look at the wound.

“We have to get the bullet out or he won't be able to heal it!” Cisco exclaimed, worry lacing his tone. Barry began to make his hand vibrate, not missing a step, and entered Harry's shoulder, coming out with a blood tinged bullet, which was only possible because Harry had learned through trial and error how to dampen his own abilities. The result was Harry gritting his teeth, a deep sigh escaping his lips as he swayed on his knees, Cisco steadying him. Maggie stood there, tears streaming, hands loosely grasping air as the panic just rolled through her. It was Harry's eyes that stilled her as he looked up, a fast and strange tiredness pasted to his features.

“Go inside.” He said, his voice a calm hardness that broke every inch of her heart. “Now.” He left no room for argument, no time to explain. All she could do was turn on her heel and run for the double doors they'd initially exited. And she kept running, till she got to the Cortex, till she ran nearly headfirst into Caitlin. The startled woman held onto her, and just held her as she shook and sobbed.

A moment later, the three men appeared. Harry was walking fine, now. As though he hadn't just had a hole punched through his shoulder. Which, consequently, was now just pale pink, blood tinged scar tissue. He looked tired, but angry, so angry as he whipped his jacket off and nearly threw it across the room. Cisco cringed at his side. 

“Move away from her, Snow.” He ordered. And Caitlin hesitated. She let Maggie go, but didn't step aside. Harry moved right up into them, hovering, seething. “You are going to tell us everything, right now. Every goddamn thing you've kept from us. Or I swear...” He clenched his jaw, not finishing the sentence. Maggie swallowed, fresh tears rolling as she hugged herself. But she nodded.

“Okay.” She whispered, refusing to tear her eyes away from his. Even with his contacts on, she could see a faint glow in the brilliant blue hues. She wanted to hold on to that glow, to remember when those eyes looked on her kindly, because she had a feeling that they never would again...

* * *

The Cortex was quiet.

It was nearly one in the morning, some four hours since Pete had shown up. Maggie was laying on the gurney in the medlab with her back to the doorway. Caitlin and Barry had both gone home. Cisco was slumped over the desk, snoring softly. Joe had come and gone, promising to use his resources to track down Pete. But now that they knew the whole truth about the young man, catching him would probably be a bit hard.

It turned out that Pete was a meta, too. He could transport himself, place to place. And it was all he could really do, which didn't seem like anything too terribly fancy considering that apparently just using his powers made the kid tired.

As for what Pete had been talking about, Joe managed to rustle up a case file of an 'accident' on the Epperson Bridge. A seventy-three year old woman drove her car right off it, dying on impact. Though the accident investigation team couldn't figure out what had caused the electrical burns on her body, or her vehicle.

According to Maggie, it really had all been an accident. 

Pete had gotten her drunk. Really drunk, to the point where her judgment was nil and she could barely walk a straight line. They were waiting on the dark side of the bridge for one of Pete's suppliers when everything went south. She couldn't remember all the details, but there was shooting. A lot of it. And she lashed out, trying to defend herself and Pete, only to have her powers go wild and slam into a passing vehicle. She'd sobered pretty quick after that and wanted to try to help the woman whose car was steadily sinking. But Pete grabbed her and blinked her off the bridge, laughing like it was all some sort of game and happy to know what she was capable of. They never called the cops. They never went back to the bridge. And Maggie heard on the news that the woman had been found nearly twelve hours after her car hit the water.

Pete held her death over Maggie's head, promising that if she ever crossed him, he would tell the world what she'd done and what she was. The fear of that had silenced her into accepting her place as one of Pete's lackies. Until he was arrested for stabbing a store clerk. The cops talked her into testifying against him. And for some reason, he never revealed what she had done. She'd been sure he would. But she had been so miserable, she hadn't cared what would happen to her anymore. While Pete was incarcerated, she'd stolen his drug money. She'd known where he hid it. And she used it for simple survival. Food, clothes, stuff to just get her through the day. There was nothing left.

After she killed her foster father, and came here, she'd chosen to never mention any of it, afraid it would be just another reason for them not to help her. But that was then. Now?

Now, she was family.

And even though at first Harry had been livid that they'd been lied to, that he'd had to get shot, now he was just worried for her. The poor kid had been through so much hell in such a short life. Everything in him wanted to shield her from any more that might come her way, to give her the sort of future she would have been denied otherwise. He wasn't about to give up on her. Yeah, terrible stuff had happened. Shit, he'd done his fair share of awful things. But that didn't mean either of them could come back from it. He had. So could she. With a little help.

Which was why he was reviewing the documents before him for the hundredth time.

He was standing in front of a table, a file opened in front of him, one hand rubbing his shoulder idly. The wound was now just another scar to get used to. There was a subtle ache that would probably be there for a while, but he could deal with that. He'd changed his shirt, putting on a S.T.A.R. Labs t-shirt. And though he was just as tired as everyone else, probably more so from having to heal, he couldn't sleep. There was far too much on his mind. He did take his contacts out, however. He wasn't sure he'd ever get used to wearing them for long periods of time. It was why he hardly ever wore them at home, or in the lab. He only put them in when it was necessary. And in the quiet stretch around him, with no strangers around to see, it wasn’t.

“Does it still hurt?” He heard Maggie say from behind him. He closed the file, dropping his other hand and picking it up off the table as he turned to look at her. Her hair was a tangled mess, soft bags beneath her hazel eyes as she stared at his glowing hues. “Your shoulder?” She motioned. And he shrugged, facing her.

“I've had worse.” He said truthfully. When she just blinked at him, he sighed. “I'm fine, Maggie.” But it didn't seem to really register to her as she lowered her gaze. He knew that look well by now. Shame. It looked the same on her face as it did on his own. She'd already apologized a hundred times over at this point, petrified that she'd go to jail or they'd kick her out. Or that they'd hate her. Give up on her. Do to her what all those before them had done. He stepped forward, curling a finger beneath her chin and forcing her to look back up. “Sit down. I want to show you something.” He said, letting his hand fall and motioning to the table behind him. She swallowed, looking slightly unsure, but moved past him and sat quietly on one of the stools. He sat beside her, holding the folder in one hand.

“Why aren't you angry anymore?” She asked, sort of blind siding him before he had a chance to show her what was in his hands. He raised a brow at her.

“Why should I be?” He asked, “What's done is done. Time to move on.” She furrowed her brows at his answer, glancing at his shoulder as though she could still see the blood pouring out of the now non-existent wound. He snapped his fingers once to get her attention back to his face. “This?” He motioned to his shoulder, “Not your fault. Neither was what happened to that woman. And Pete's not your fault, either.”

“How can you say that?” She asked, half in a whisper. “If I'd never gotten in with Pete, then none of this ever would have happened.” She motioned at him, “You never would have gotten hurt.”

“I got hurt because Pete's an asshole.” He said flatly. And for a moment, her face softened. But she looked down again. “I've told you before, Maggie. We all make mistakes. We all have things in our past that we have to make up for, things that haunt us.” She raised her eyes back to him. “The only way anyone could blame you for any of this is if you weren't trying to make up for them. But you are.” He searched her gaze, “You are so much better than what you've come from. And you're beginning to see that for yourself. Every day, you make yourself better and better. And I don't just mean intellectually.” He shifted on the stool slightly, “You're a part of this family, now. And that's not because we're obligated, either. It's because of who you are...” he cleared his throat a little, “Who you are to all of us.” He held the folder out to her, then. And she glanced at it, looking unsure as she tentatively reached for it.

“What is it?” She asked quietly, hesitating as she opened it.

“We thought we'd wait till your birthday. But after tonight, I think perhaps now is an appropriate time.” He answered, crossing his arms over his chest and watching quietly as she scanned over the papers inside. He watched a change come over her face. First a stunned blankness, a slow quiver of her lips, a flowing of tears from her eyes, and then a sob as she stood up and practically threw herself at him. He barely had time to catch her in a hug, using his legs to keep them from falling over as she cried into him, her arms clinging to him like Velcro. And boy, did she cry. Her whole body shook with it. She was still crying when she peeled herself away to attach herself to Cisco, who had apparently woken up and come over to them.

Harry stood, jaw clenching as his own eyes stung a little. Cisco gave him a knowing look, not bothering to keep the wetness out of his own chocolate hues. 

“Surprise.” Ramon said to Maggie as she pulled back, letting out a small laugh through her tears. She wiped at her face with one of her sleeves, the folder shaking in her other hand.

“I don't know what to say.” She managed, her voice soft and trembling. Cisco moved to stand next to Harry, who slipped an arm around him easily. “H-how?” She shook her head a little, opening the file again.

“Joe helped us get it to a judge. He signed off on the adoption, made it official.” Cisco answered. “So if you don't mind having two kickass Dads, all you have to do is sign on the dotted line.” He grinned, and she laughed again, setting the folder down and moving into them both for an almost awkward group hug.

“I don't deserve this... or you.” She mumbled between them, stepping back and wiping her face again. Harry let out a sigh, stepping forward and holding her face in his hands.

“You are so very wrong about that.” He said then, the first crack of emotion in his voice. He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead, and a small sob escaped her mouth. When he stepped back, Cisco was again at his side, only this time holding out a pen for her to take.

An hour and a half later, the papers were signed and she was passed out on the gurney, hugging the folder to her chest like a security blanket. Harry was leaning against the door frame of the darkened medlab, watching her. And Cisco was watching him. 

“Have I mentioned lately how much I love you?” Ramon asked, moving to stand in front of him, making Harry meet his gaze.

“It bears repeating... continuously.” Harry responded, making Cisco roll his eyes. Then Ramon reached up with both hands, grabbing onto Harry's head warmly and pulling him down.

“You're hopeless.” He muttered, just before their lips met. In the quiet of the Cortex, Harry pulled him closer, happy to melt into Ramon's mouth, lips parting, tongues softly caressing in unison. There were times when Harry wondered why they hadn't really fallen out of the 'honeymoon' stage of their relationship, moments when he wondered how they could be so ridiculously at ease with each other and yet still feel as though they were only on the third date. But this wasn't one of those moments. This was a moment where it all made sense, where their combined happiness was a living thing with a will all its own, and he could feel the energy of it all around them as the kiss broke and he pressed his forehead to Ramon's.

“Thank you, Ramon.” He whispered, feeling Cisco's hands glide down his chest to rest on his hips.

“For what?” His husband whispered back, content to just stand there with him.

“For not letting me back out of this.” He lifted his head, “For forcing me to see how much she needs us. How much we need her.” Cisco smiled at that, leaning his hips completely against his.

“I told you before, I'm a genius. You just need to listen to me more often.”

Harry smirked at that. It was a hard point to argue. So he wasn't even going to try. Instead, he kissed Cisco again. And he just let himself be happy. He ignored the tiredness and watched over Maggie. When he settled on the floor against the wall, he let Cisco fall asleep half in his lap. He relished the quiet, peaceful air that surrounded all three of them.

Because tomorrow, they'd be on the hunt for Peter Walters. Tomorrow, they'd all be in the thick of danger. And tomorrow, they wouldn't have time for peace like this. Because that was just the sort of life they led. Danger took up seventy percent of their time. And strangely enough, he was alright with that. Because if it hadn't been this way from the start, he never would have gotten Jesse back, he never would have had Cisco, he never would have met Maggie. 

Harry would take all the danger having those three in his life could offer. Because they were what made it all worth it. Every injury, every frustration, every heartache, every wound, every scar. He'd gladly take it all on, just for moments like this that lingered on into the quiet darkness, assuring that though tomorrow promised to be difficult, there would never be a moment in it that they would ever be alone...


End file.
